F.I.S.T. (The First Insanity Survivors Thread)
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,049
I don't think the negligent gran/neglected kid-combo would have gone over in my neighborhood meetings either. We had pretty low tolerance -- even a loud snorer got a swift kick in the shin!
Bagder -- I told the last guy, "Thanks, but I don't drink" and he said, well I'd enjoy drinking with you while you didn't or words to that effect. He didn't mean any harm. This all has to do with that bleeding conference coming up. I will inevitably spend some time with other people drinking.
Steely, lovely to see you here! I hope the paperwork proceeds smoothly.
Today today today sober sober sober.
Bagder -- I told the last guy, "Thanks, but I don't drink" and he said, well I'd enjoy drinking with you while you didn't or words to that effect. He didn't mean any harm. This all has to do with that bleeding conference coming up. I will inevitably spend some time with other people drinking.
Steely, lovely to see you here! I hope the paperwork proceeds smoothly.
Today today today sober sober sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,601
Gee, so many posts, and so much content. You have driven me insane 
Hi Gilmer. I have always like how Cow calls you Glimmer, because that's the way I first read your name. Yes, I think that would be a great way to 'manage' the kids.
I can remember seeing a young mother pushing her son in his stroller away from a meeting, lamenting that she had not been well received. She was upset. It got on my goat from that moment forward. Free Mum. Free Dad. Free Child. Bring toys Tea sets
Thanks for your welcome Courage. Nearly 3am here so will retire to the sanity of rest.
This is a really good thread.
Hi Gilmer. I have always like how Cow calls you Glimmer, because that's the way I first read your name. Yes, I think that would be a great way to 'manage' the kids.
I can remember seeing a young mother pushing her son in his stroller away from a meeting, lamenting that she had not been well received. She was upset. It got on my goat from that moment forward. Free Mum. Free Dad. Free Child. Bring toys
Tea sets Thanks for your welcome Courage. Nearly 3am here so will retire to the sanity of rest.
This is a really good thread.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
I did not go to meetings for a year and a half because I was a single mom who couldn't get or afford meetings. When I moved to where I am now, I slowly worked my way into meetings and found more and more meetings where I was either welcomed or tolerated to bring my little one.
But, I am very lucky, she is a very easy going, relaxed child. Very schleppable.
I take her to every meeting I go to and she has never been a bother or ill received. She gets complimented all the time. I realize she is often the exception the general rule. She is after all, only 4.
This is such a big problem. A bigger one than I think most people realize. I pulled myself out of a very bad place by getting to as many meetings as I could in a week, bringing wee one with me, like 4-6 wherever I could.
I did at one point early have a group conscience (or vote or whatever it's called) early on when I first asked if I could bring her with me I was told no.
I also know there are a lot of things said at meetings that aren't all that great for a little one here.
I weigh the pros and cons for every meeting we go to how this affects her, me, and others. The bottom line is I have to go to meetings when I have to go. Which means I have to take her with me. If we get turned away, so be it. I will deal with it, there are other meetings I can go to.
I have been told by many that groups don't turn away anyone who is in need of support and children are welcome (but closed meetings are dicey).
But I agree that it would be very distracting for the group to have a child with a member who is not behaving and not being properly dealt with by the caregiver.
Something like that I think could be helped with some honest feedback to the gran about the situation and how it affects the group. Sometimes people just don't realize when they are struggling themselves. And always, always step in if a child is in danger.
Here, there were groups where free child care was available but they have all been cut or the child care has fallen through.
We have a crisis of way too many moms who can get no face to face support because of lack of child care and transportation.
There's always too many people willing to get them their DOC so they have someone to use with them. Not many who are willing to provide child care and transportation for them.
It's sad. I do what I can when I can.
I'm having a hard time posting the past few days. I write long posts... then I just leave them without posting.
I'm sad and not sure why. 90 days tomorrow of not drinking. And in 2 weeks will be 2 years since my dear friend passed away.
And I'm sitting digging deep in my 4th step and pretty much ready for my 5th.
I feel a little heavy-hearted and weepy. I'm avoiding a lot of things I should or need to do. Not appreciating all that I accomplish every day now and my expectations just keep going up.
I'ma ride your coattails of snark and humour.
to all having a rough go this week.
I am sober now, and will stay sober all day. That is one thing I am quite certain of.
But, I am very lucky, she is a very easy going, relaxed child. Very schleppable.
I take her to every meeting I go to and she has never been a bother or ill received. She gets complimented all the time. I realize she is often the exception the general rule. She is after all, only 4.
This is such a big problem. A bigger one than I think most people realize. I pulled myself out of a very bad place by getting to as many meetings as I could in a week, bringing wee one with me, like 4-6 wherever I could.
I did at one point early have a group conscience (or vote or whatever it's called) early on when I first asked if I could bring her with me I was told no.
I also know there are a lot of things said at meetings that aren't all that great for a little one here.
I weigh the pros and cons for every meeting we go to how this affects her, me, and others. The bottom line is I have to go to meetings when I have to go. Which means I have to take her with me. If we get turned away, so be it. I will deal with it, there are other meetings I can go to.
I have been told by many that groups don't turn away anyone who is in need of support and children are welcome (but closed meetings are dicey).
But I agree that it would be very distracting for the group to have a child with a member who is not behaving and not being properly dealt with by the caregiver.
Something like that I think could be helped with some honest feedback to the gran about the situation and how it affects the group. Sometimes people just don't realize when they are struggling themselves. And always, always step in if a child is in danger.
Here, there were groups where free child care was available but they have all been cut or the child care has fallen through.
We have a crisis of way too many moms who can get no face to face support because of lack of child care and transportation.
There's always too many people willing to get them their DOC so they have someone to use with them. Not many who are willing to provide child care and transportation for them.
It's sad. I do what I can when I can.
I'm having a hard time posting the past few days. I write long posts... then I just leave them without posting.
I'm sad and not sure why. 90 days tomorrow of not drinking. And in 2 weeks will be 2 years since my dear friend passed away.
And I'm sitting digging deep in my 4th step and pretty much ready for my 5th.
I feel a little heavy-hearted and weepy. I'm avoiding a lot of things I should or need to do. Not appreciating all that I accomplish every day now and my expectations just keep going up.
I'ma ride your coattails of snark and humour.
to all having a rough go this week. I am sober now, and will stay sober all day. That is one thing I am quite certain of.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
(((((Del)))))
(((((Cour)))))
I am fine. I woke up at 6:30 today and began going about my regular routine. Then around 8 I said, "I think I'll get a little more sleep"--and I didn't get up till 12:30 pm!
Half the day was shot!
I hurried to pay bills--but the mailman had already come and gone.
I don't have time today to run to the Post Office--it'll be fine to just send them out in tomorrow's regular mail.
I ordered a gift for my granddaughter's birthday party two weeks ago and it still hasn't arrived--and the party's tomorrow. Unless by some miracle it shows up this afternoon, I'll have to go out and SHOP AMONG CROWDS on a SATURDAY MORNING!
Five years ago I would have shirked all responsibility at this point and gotten loaded; now I just sigh, groan, and whine here to my excellent comrades!
(((((Cour)))))
I am fine. I woke up at 6:30 today and began going about my regular routine. Then around 8 I said, "I think I'll get a little more sleep"--and I didn't get up till 12:30 pm!
Half the day was shot!
I hurried to pay bills--but the mailman had already come and gone.
I don't have time today to run to the Post Office--it'll be fine to just send them out in tomorrow's regular mail.
I ordered a gift for my granddaughter's birthday party two weeks ago and it still hasn't arrived--and the party's tomorrow. Unless by some miracle it shows up this afternoon, I'll have to go out and SHOP AMONG CROWDS on a SATURDAY MORNING!
Five years ago I would have shirked all responsibility at this point and gotten loaded; now I just sigh, groan, and whine here to my excellent comrades!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
Hope your package arrives in the mail, Gilmer!
Del, I am not against children in the meetings just my key word, "Disruptive."
Most open meetings are okay with it closed meetings not so much. My sponsor has a son with ADD but for the most part he is good and just works on his computer. Once in awhile we'll hear a big laff. We all then laff, too. Gotta be hard but so is being an alcoholic sometimes. I hope you realize how good you're doing with 3 months in. That's a huge achievement. It took me about a year to feel rid of my depression. Hope you can too.
Del, I am not against children in the meetings just my key word, "Disruptive."
Most open meetings are okay with it closed meetings not so much. My sponsor has a son with ADD but for the most part he is good and just works on his computer. Once in awhile we'll hear a big laff. We all then laff, too. Gotta be hard but so is being an alcoholic sometimes. I hope you realize how good you're doing with 3 months in. That's a huge achievement. It took me about a year to feel rid of my depression. Hope you can too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
Five years ago I would have shirked all responsibility at this point and gotten loaded; now I just sigh, groan, and whine here to my excellent comrades!
I have crap happen on many days. Some crap to me - but, more crap around me. I'm approaching 4 years clean and sober, so many of my people, places and things are different from my active addiction days anyway.
When it does happen, I know I can handle it without drinking and my tool box - if necessary. Most times, I'll focus on what I really control, and, maybe try to change my perspective....beyond that, I must move on with the rest of the day...period.
I simply cannot change ALL the bad things I see happening, but, I can do my part - expecting nothing in return...and maybe put a smile in somebody's day.
Moussaka was divine. Don't know their cream on the top recipe, but, for the right price I'll be happy to go undercover, Kris.
haha, the owners of that restaurant call me Bernie Sanders....I've gone there after the gym a few times with a #feelthebern tee shirt on....so, we are tight.Sending positive vibes to all struggling today and hoping your package shows, GG.
Off to see a man about a horse.
Carlos
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I called the company and it turns out they processed the order but never sent it. Within the hour they had shipped it priority mail. I should get it on Monday.
I was impressed with the prompt action on their own dime, and I emailed to tell them so.
Turns out I won't be going to the party tomorrow anyway--my sickness came back, and my daughter is the queen of germophobes. I would certainly be persona non grata!
I was impressed with the prompt action on their own dime, and I emailed to tell them so.
Turns out I won't be going to the party tomorrow anyway--my sickness came back, and my daughter is the queen of germophobes. I would certainly be persona non grata!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Originally Posted by Delizadee
I am sober now, and will stay sober all day. That is one thing I am quite certain of.
Sorry that you are struggling.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Get well Gilmer and thank you Carlos
And yes it could be a touch of the paws.
I can very much tell the difference in moods. The changing when I hit certain number of weeks or seasons changing. I've struggled with seasonal affective disorder forever.
But. Lots of compounding things weighing down. It's spring, I would be starting to clean up and plan my garden for the summer on the farm. It's the spring is making me heartsick for my home. And that's gone. I haven't really processed that yet.
In 2 weeks it will be 2 years since one of my closest friends passed away. I didn't really dwell on it much last year, probably because that's when I chose to pick up drinking again.
And I'm tired. In need of a meeting. By myself!! I value those greatly. It's a triple treat to me that I rarely get.
And what's with all these old resentments bubbling back up?
Between the hurts and the anger and the anxiety and all, I've got one foot stuck in the past and the other in the the future. I'm so stressed and worried about the upcoming visit with my son and how much his father is going to hassle and bully me again. Ugh.
So morose and ungrateful when there's so many who'd love to have the problems I have
It's not so bad. 2 more days then I have 2 off.
Still sober. April fools to you booze. 90 days tomorrow
And yes it could be a touch of the paws.
I can very much tell the difference in moods. The changing when I hit certain number of weeks or seasons changing. I've struggled with seasonal affective disorder forever.
But. Lots of compounding things weighing down. It's spring, I would be starting to clean up and plan my garden for the summer on the farm. It's the spring is making me heartsick for my home. And that's gone. I haven't really processed that yet.
In 2 weeks it will be 2 years since one of my closest friends passed away. I didn't really dwell on it much last year, probably because that's when I chose to pick up drinking again.
And I'm tired. In need of a meeting. By myself!! I value those greatly. It's a triple treat to me that I rarely get.
And what's with all these old resentments bubbling back up?
Between the hurts and the anger and the anxiety and all, I've got one foot stuck in the past and the other in the the future. I'm so stressed and worried about the upcoming visit with my son and how much his father is going to hassle and bully me again. Ugh.
So morose and ungrateful when there's so many who'd love to have the problems I have
It's not so bad. 2 more days then I have 2 off.
Still sober. April fools to you booze. 90 days tomorrow
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,049
This is an amazing, rather wonderful set of posts. People's honesty and thoughtfulness are really moving.
Gilmer, I'm concerned that you're not getting better. Have you seen a doctor?
I'm sorry I responded so snarkily about the disruptive child at the meeting. When I think about it more seriously, that grandmother may have needed that meeting then especially -- where was a parent? Who leaves a child alone with a grandparent who needs AA meetings?
Deliza, I think it's natural that you're feeling pain now. Life is stirring the pot for you. Doing your 4th & 5th steps & reaching 90 days -- ugh! benchmarks! Not to mention perfectly normal anxiety about the upcoming visit with your son. It's really healthy you're able to perceive those feelings and express them here. When I had about your same amount of sober time, I was still quite estranged from my own emotions. Your recovery is beautiful!
xxxxoooo to everyone. No fooling and completely sober.
Gilmer, I'm concerned that you're not getting better. Have you seen a doctor?
I'm sorry I responded so snarkily about the disruptive child at the meeting. When I think about it more seriously, that grandmother may have needed that meeting then especially -- where was a parent? Who leaves a child alone with a grandparent who needs AA meetings?
Deliza, I think it's natural that you're feeling pain now. Life is stirring the pot for you. Doing your 4th & 5th steps & reaching 90 days -- ugh! benchmarks! Not to mention perfectly normal anxiety about the upcoming visit with your son. It's really healthy you're able to perceive those feelings and express them here. When I had about your same amount of sober time, I was still quite estranged from my own emotions. Your recovery is beautiful!
xxxxoooo to everyone. No fooling and completely sober.
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