F.I.S.T. (The First Insanity Survivors Thread)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
Great, Del! Thanks for turning me onto 
!
I'm going to keep
in the repertoire, though!
!I'm going to keep
in the repertoire, though!What 3 going on 4 year old doesn't like to watch tv like ALL FRIKKEN DAY.
I know I am babysitting the child and not the tv.
But it's 10:36 and I've gotten into at least 17 battle of wits with her kicking and hitting and screaming NO at me and generally complete disobeying asking for food and not eating it putting food on the floor and yeah.
I have dealt with worse but it's been awhile.
Literally googling "how to manage... ^^^"
She seems to sit calmly with Cat. So glad I have a good cat.
Realizing how spoiled I am with my little girl. She is so well behaved and easy to take care of.
S'all good. only like 10, or 11 hours to go.
And the 9 year old sister is home today too. Really they are good.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
You should tell her mother that she needs to show more respect to you. I bet she doesn't get much discipline at home and she disrespects her mother, too. Are you willing to make better behavior a condition of your watching her?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Happy birthday Kris!!
Gil, I think she is putting on a show for me is part of it. I don't know what kind of discipline she gets from her mom but her mom is a nurse and works 12 hour shifts and so the girls have spent a lot of time with Grandma.
This kid has literally been climbing the walls today.
So, I found a way to make her time out. I'm going to talk to her mom about it today, to make sure it's ok. She's just lashing out and throwing her weight around and she's being a danger to herself.
I don't know. This brings on new levels of patience for me. She's pushed every single button I have.
I still won't drink.
I will recommend not getting into childcare though.
Gil, I think she is putting on a show for me is part of it. I don't know what kind of discipline she gets from her mom but her mom is a nurse and works 12 hour shifts and so the girls have spent a lot of time with Grandma.
This kid has literally been climbing the walls today.
So, I found a way to make her time out. I'm going to talk to her mom about it today, to make sure it's ok. She's just lashing out and throwing her weight around and she's being a danger to herself.
I don't know. This brings on new levels of patience for me. She's pushed every single button I have.
I still won't drink.
I will recommend not getting into childcare though.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Formerly drunk, sober, -- my son would say we're not the standard narrative. Yay. I don't think you can go through some things and not come out a little ...non-normal. Don't think you can go into some things without being a little different to start with.
Some people have normality as a goal. I'd like to be able to get along in a normal fashion, that's a goal. I don't want to act badly or reject other people out of plain fear or be incompetent at basic functions. But some things are still hard, and I think always will be no matter how long I'm sober.
gilmer, I really liked your story about listening to and responding to people you have disrespected (internally) in the past. I have some new colleagues who don't even know what a total bitch I used to be (partly because I was always either drunk or hungover, partly because I was paranoid.) They run into me and smile and chat, & I respond -- it's so funny!
Some people have normality as a goal. I'd like to be able to get along in a normal fashion, that's a goal. I don't want to act badly or reject other people out of plain fear or be incompetent at basic functions. But some things are still hard, and I think always will be no matter how long I'm sober.
gilmer, I really liked your story about listening to and responding to people you have disrespected (internally) in the past. I have some new colleagues who don't even know what a total bitch I used to be (partly because I was always either drunk or hungover, partly because I was paranoid.) They run into me and smile and chat, & I respond -- it's so funny!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Oh another thing -- you know how I wrote recently that my former sponsor & I hadn't communicated for a long time, after 3 years? She emailed and texted me today. I'm not a "there are no coincidences" person -- more likely it's spring fever. Still if we meet which we probably will, it will be interesting.
Deliza, I hope that in balance, the kids make you laugh more than they make you pull your hair. From the right distance, it's all pretty hilarious. Like a Three Stooges movie on infinite replay. Inside our heads.
Sober!
Deliza, I hope that in balance, the kids make you laugh more than they make you pull your hair. From the right distance, it's all pretty hilarious. Like a Three Stooges movie on infinite replay. Inside our heads.
Sober!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
Just back from a topic meeting- anger. One lady put it in the nut shell- stole my theme. The basis of my anger was fear. Fear of change, of that which could not understand, of that I could not control. Now I laugh at my anger- or turn hat anger in on itself- get angry at getting angry. Or paint. If others get angry- so long as it not threatening or unsafe- I do not react.
I thought about it- and since my life chaning incident 18 months ago- I can think of only 1 occasion where I chose to get angry. A guy in the same recovery program I am in making sexually graphic jokes about an attractive female counsellor. That was a year ago- to this day (not in recovery stuff anymore). I still see him about- he pretends not to see me- I purposely ignore him.
Can be a useful emotion- if acknowledged and worked through.
I thought about it- and since my life chaning incident 18 months ago- I can think of only 1 occasion where I chose to get angry. A guy in the same recovery program I am in making sexually graphic jokes about an attractive female counsellor. That was a year ago- to this day (not in recovery stuff anymore). I still see him about- he pretends not to see me- I purposely ignore him.
Can be a useful emotion- if acknowledged and worked through.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
Just back from a topic meeting- anger. One lady put it in the nut shell- stole my theme. The basis of my anger was fear.
Anger is fear turned outward. My fear rarely lets me get that far.
PJ, good for you if you can aim your anger! But watch you don't just think you can control it. The Big Book says something about how alcoholics shouldn't take the risk of letting anger get hold again, even righteous anger. Doesn't it?
What do others think about anger? A topic meeting here?
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
I think anger is a very good topic, because it's universal: everybody has felt it at some time or another.
A friend suggested to me awhile ago that a major root of rage is fear, and that has certainly been borne out in the past in the world around me. Heck, the a bit of rage I encourage last fall sparked a counter rage within me--and I think the root of it was deep fear of being ostracized.
There are different degrees of anger, I think. I know that that type of throbbing rage I just mentioned I have only felt three times in my life (and I discovered that the last two were largely due to a side effect from a new medicine--which I promptly discontinued).
But most of the time I feel a shallower but more malicious kind of anger. The book of James describes it:
"What causes quarrels and fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel" (4:1-2a).
I want my own way, and I am angry when someone or something thwarts it!
A friend suggested to me awhile ago that a major root of rage is fear, and that has certainly been borne out in the past in the world around me. Heck, the a bit of rage I encourage last fall sparked a counter rage within me--and I think the root of it was deep fear of being ostracized.
There are different degrees of anger, I think. I know that that type of throbbing rage I just mentioned I have only felt three times in my life (and I discovered that the last two were largely due to a side effect from a new medicine--which I promptly discontinued).
But most of the time I feel a shallower but more malicious kind of anger. The book of James describes it:
"What causes quarrels and fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel" (4:1-2a).
I want my own way, and I am angry when someone or something thwarts it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,099
Second the anger topic, I have always repressed mine, being able to face down the source and "let it all out" no holds barred is a dream of mine. But it's family, so it must remain caged. Thankfully I have dealt with it through separation, meditation and mindfullness, previously though, I drowned it in wine, didn't help at all but that's what I did, and truthfully that is the one trigger that I know will send me back to the bottle, no doubt in my mind. Than of coarse i would be royally pissed at myself for the giving them the power to destroy my life and efforts to remain sober. And they are unworthy of that, so I will not allow it to happen. geesh,,,, now I am all angry just typing about them,, aaaaaaaargh!
Just to show them how little they mean to me, I am not going to drink today.. That will teach them!! HA losers
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Just to show them how little they mean to me, I am not going to drink today.. That will teach them!! HA losers
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