F.I.S.T. (The First Insanity Survivors Thread)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Good morning, all. Where were my manners yesterday...welcome, Steel and congrats on the 90, DZD. Good stuff!
I'm kinda worn out from spending hours in the sun picking blueberries and beach hangin yesterday. Last Sunday I attended that non denominational church. Still processing and will probs try again, but, not just yet. There was a part of the message given that has helped me in dealing with an issue that I am working through with my oldest daughter.
The mad scientist wants to make blueberry and strawberry jams. I want to isolate and Netflix binge. Haha, old active-alkie habits die hard.
So, I'm thinking that I will do a little of all. Some jam making, an episode this morning and one tonight, shopping for a week of whole 30 ahead and a little cooking. Coffee (well, coconut milk latte) and my 12 Steps in Buddhism await to start the day off.
The active aklie me didn;t know how to partially do things. The plans were grandiose, and, if they fell through, I could always retreat to senseless TV and a day of isolation.
If I'm going to stay spiritually fit and further from a drink than closer I need to avoid my three triggers - IL&L. Y'all may have heard of HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. That's not me...hungry-I eat, angry-just not me, at least, very rarely, lonely-yep, one of my three, tired, I sleep.
Mine are LLI, and I try to avoid all of them every day. LAZY - I can't allow that, LONELY - I must engage (outside world, not just here and social media), ISOLATED-that's the biggie and my easiest fallback. At its core, I think it's just a form of how I can feel sorry for myself. Plus, spending quality alone time isn't what I'm talking about. It's the total avoidance of everything and everybody in a veg state. Yuk, I spent so many days there during my last three years in active addiction.
Sooo, the day begins. Hope that is is a good one, SUNSHINE'S. I liked that, DZD.
I'm kinda worn out from spending hours in the sun picking blueberries and beach hangin yesterday. Last Sunday I attended that non denominational church. Still processing and will probs try again, but, not just yet. There was a part of the message given that has helped me in dealing with an issue that I am working through with my oldest daughter.
The mad scientist wants to make blueberry and strawberry jams. I want to isolate and Netflix binge. Haha, old active-alkie habits die hard.
So, I'm thinking that I will do a little of all. Some jam making, an episode this morning and one tonight, shopping for a week of whole 30 ahead and a little cooking. Coffee (well, coconut milk latte) and my 12 Steps in Buddhism await to start the day off.
The active aklie me didn;t know how to partially do things. The plans were grandiose, and, if they fell through, I could always retreat to senseless TV and a day of isolation.
If I'm going to stay spiritually fit and further from a drink than closer I need to avoid my three triggers - IL&L. Y'all may have heard of HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely and tired. That's not me...hungry-I eat, angry-just not me, at least, very rarely, lonely-yep, one of my three, tired, I sleep.
Mine are LLI, and I try to avoid all of them every day. LAZY - I can't allow that, LONELY - I must engage (outside world, not just here and social media), ISOLATED-that's the biggie and my easiest fallback. At its core, I think it's just a form of how I can feel sorry for myself. Plus, spending quality alone time isn't what I'm talking about. It's the total avoidance of everything and everybody in a veg state. Yuk, I spent so many days there during my last three years in active addiction.
Sooo, the day begins. Hope that is is a good one, SUNSHINE'S. I liked that, DZD.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Del - Congrats on 90 days of sobriety. Way to go.
When I got sober I thought I might lose 15 lbs and that's about it. Instead it opened the door to recovery for me, on mental, spiritual and physical planes.
I had by all appearances a good life but I realized after several consecutive days/weeks/months of sobriety that I was not super happy with the status quo with my marriage, my friends, my extended family. Even my "dream job", the job I had made it a personal goal to attain, wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
I read the book Codependent No More and realized that the pain I was feeling was on me. The only way I could be happy with my marriage, friends, extended family, or job is if I made myself happy.
I worked on the 12 steps with a sponsor. I worked on the codependency 12 steps with a small group of sober women. I went to AA and AlAnon meetings. I posted in the one year and under thread on SR every day and read the Friends and Family side of SR. I performed service at AA meetings. I developed friendships with other alcoholics and spoke to them in depth outside of meetings, including this thread's own Carlos. He and I have logged many hours chatting on the phone and have even met up a few times to travel the AA circuit in some great East Coast cities.
At the same time I have a lot of responsibilities at home. My sponsor is amazing at understanding that as a working mom to athletic 10 and12 year old boys, I commit as best as I can.
Recovery is a conscious decision I make every day. Sometimes I implement it well, other times I don't. I used to best myself up for mistakes but I've come to understand that life is not static and it's ok for me to be a work in progress.
My personal experience having done all this for a few years is that the promises in AA really do come to fruition.
After an adult life of professional frustration, I have been promoted 3 times in my current company. I'm now a manager.
My marriage which was all but over, remained intact once I stopped blaming and started addressing my side of the street.
Now that what I look for in friends goes deeper than "allows me to drink and use" I walk away from red flags like narcissism and self-centeredness. My frindships are warm and mutually caring.
I posted on SR a lot, and let it all out here. It was healthy for me to organize it as a I wrote, plus there is the added benefit of getting advice from a sober sounding board who has my best interests at heart.
When I'm stressed, and my life feels chaotic, which it sounds like you are now, keeping a gratitude list truly helps me. In fact last week I had a bunch of things running through my head due to work, my kid's school, and the upcoming move.
I said the serenity prayer. Then I started my gratitude list. It included my grats on the very situations that were stressing me out. It truly helped me get focused. I make my lists specific. On Friday it looked like this: "I'm grateful I have a job that pays well and is facilitating my ability to move to a bigger house.. I'm grateful that senior management recognizes the contributions that I make and value it so much that they need me to work on an urgent project thos weekend even though I am moving. I am grateful to the 12 steps for teaching me to see the value in this rather than carry resentment. I am grateful to AA for helping me see that senior management was uncomfortable asking. I am grateful to AA for helping me to treat them well, and not like a primadonna, because being approachable is the right thing to do."
I hope this helps someone feel hopeful.
Time to pack! Be well today, friends.
When I got sober I thought I might lose 15 lbs and that's about it. Instead it opened the door to recovery for me, on mental, spiritual and physical planes.
I had by all appearances a good life but I realized after several consecutive days/weeks/months of sobriety that I was not super happy with the status quo with my marriage, my friends, my extended family. Even my "dream job", the job I had made it a personal goal to attain, wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
I read the book Codependent No More and realized that the pain I was feeling was on me. The only way I could be happy with my marriage, friends, extended family, or job is if I made myself happy.
I worked on the 12 steps with a sponsor. I worked on the codependency 12 steps with a small group of sober women. I went to AA and AlAnon meetings. I posted in the one year and under thread on SR every day and read the Friends and Family side of SR. I performed service at AA meetings. I developed friendships with other alcoholics and spoke to them in depth outside of meetings, including this thread's own Carlos. He and I have logged many hours chatting on the phone and have even met up a few times to travel the AA circuit in some great East Coast cities.
At the same time I have a lot of responsibilities at home. My sponsor is amazing at understanding that as a working mom to athletic 10 and12 year old boys, I commit as best as I can.
Recovery is a conscious decision I make every day. Sometimes I implement it well, other times I don't. I used to best myself up for mistakes but I've come to understand that life is not static and it's ok for me to be a work in progress.
My personal experience having done all this for a few years is that the promises in AA really do come to fruition.
After an adult life of professional frustration, I have been promoted 3 times in my current company. I'm now a manager.
My marriage which was all but over, remained intact once I stopped blaming and started addressing my side of the street.
Now that what I look for in friends goes deeper than "allows me to drink and use" I walk away from red flags like narcissism and self-centeredness. My frindships are warm and mutually caring.
I posted on SR a lot, and let it all out here. It was healthy for me to organize it as a I wrote, plus there is the added benefit of getting advice from a sober sounding board who has my best interests at heart.
When I'm stressed, and my life feels chaotic, which it sounds like you are now, keeping a gratitude list truly helps me. In fact last week I had a bunch of things running through my head due to work, my kid's school, and the upcoming move.
I said the serenity prayer. Then I started my gratitude list. It included my grats on the very situations that were stressing me out. It truly helped me get focused. I make my lists specific. On Friday it looked like this: "I'm grateful I have a job that pays well and is facilitating my ability to move to a bigger house.. I'm grateful that senior management recognizes the contributions that I make and value it so much that they need me to work on an urgent project thos weekend even though I am moving. I am grateful to the 12 steps for teaching me to see the value in this rather than carry resentment. I am grateful to AA for helping me see that senior management was uncomfortable asking. I am grateful to AA for helping me to treat them well, and not like a primadonna, because being approachable is the right thing to do."
I hope this helps someone feel hopeful.
Time to pack! Be well today, friends.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Out in the Stix of Southern Indiana
Posts: 2,784
I think that I may have this whole sobriety start up a little easier than most. I don't have to work so I really don't have to deal with the public if I choose. My wife is finally understanding and gives me all kinds of room when I need it. My kids are all behind me. I am not bragging, I am very thankful. I wish I could have done this when I was younger and still working! Sometimes that voice in there says" what are you doing this now for? How many years could you possibly have left?" Then I play it forward and backward and I just think of how I felt before I quit and I sure don't want to go back there!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
The longer you're sober and the better your coping mechanisms develop, the richer your quality of life will become. There will soon come a time when you'll laugh at statements like that from your AV.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
This downright debilitating ailment continues to hang on.
I have a pre-scheduled appointment with the appropriate specialist next Friday, so I'll tough it out till then.
I don't want to bother with my PCP because I just saw him a few weeks ago for my semi-annual physical, and I was totally fine (besides, I don't have a lot of confidence in him. I go to him for physicals and the sniffles).
I have a pre-scheduled appointment with the appropriate specialist next Friday, so I'll tough it out till then.
I don't want to bother with my PCP because I just saw him a few weeks ago for my semi-annual physical, and I was totally fine (besides, I don't have a lot of confidence in him. I go to him for physicals and the sniffles).
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Lovely sunshines, I thank you for these posts.
Needed them this morning and so grateful to you all..
Today will be a better day. Stewing in my stinkin thinkin' is just feeding my sickness.
It takes action to make better. Good things come to those who act.
I will stop complaining and work on my gratitude and start listening..
I will not drink today!
Needed them this morning and so grateful to you all..
Today will be a better day. Stewing in my stinkin thinkin' is just feeding my sickness.
It takes action to make better. Good things come to those who act.
I will stop complaining and work on my gratitude and start listening..
I will not drink today!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: Anywhere USA
Posts: 2,100
What wonderful posts to start the day! thank you Carlos and Glee so much!
I love ya both, just starting a new shift and those two posts really changed it around.
Buddism is something I think I might look into Carlos, someone else that posts on SR talks of this also, now I can't think who that is,,,,,, anyway I will have to read up on that.
Hello Tomls and Gilmer hope you both have the great day that you deserve!
Happy Sunday Courage
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I love ya both, just starting a new shift and those two posts really changed it around.
Buddism is something I think I might look into Carlos, someone else that posts on SR talks of this also, now I can't think who that is,,,,,, anyway I will have to read up on that.
Hello Tomls and Gilmer hope you both have the great day that you deserve!
Happy Sunday Courage
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: middle of nowhere
Posts: 2,849
Originally Posted by Gilmer 
This downright debilitating ailment continues to hang on.
I have a pre-scheduled appointment with the appropriate specialist next Friday, so I'll tough it out till then.
I don't want to bother with my PCP because I just saw him a few weeks ago for my semi-annual physical, and I was totally fine (besides, I don't have a lot of confidence in him. I go to him for physicals and the sniffles).
I have a pre-scheduled appointment with the appropriate specialist next Friday, so I'll tough it out till then.
I don't want to bother with my PCP because I just saw him a few weeks ago for my semi-annual physical, and I was totally fine (besides, I don't have a lot of confidence in him. I go to him for physicals and the sniffles).
Gilmer
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I hope you get better soon, I'm sending you healthy thoughts your way!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Originally Posted by Gilmer
This downright debilitating ailment continues to hang on.
I have a pre-scheduled appointment with the appropriate specialist next Friday, so I'll tough it out till then.
I have a pre-scheduled appointment with the appropriate specialist next Friday, so I'll tough it out till then.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,047
Thank you Glee, thank you Carlos! You each are inspiring and a credit to yourselves, the power of living sober, and your support program.
Rock On!
This made me LOL -- tomls -- what you need to remember is that I'm one of "those" alcoholics. If you ask me, I'll say my family background is alcoholic and crazy, my husband is ...complicated..., other people are always pushing me to drink, I'm under constant pressure at work, and generally speaking it's an incredible feat that I don't drink any and every day.
Hmmm. Now that I look at it, that's all pretty much true.
But the incredibly big lift about staying sober isn't due to my own personal context, whatever it is. Staying sober is incredible because I'm an alcoholic. If I had a happy upbringing and a traditional home life and worked in a tea-totalling hugs-and-kisses cupcake store, the person I was would have drunk it all away.
No matter the circumstance, there's nothing easy about an alcoholic getting sober -- except in comparison to how hard it is to manage a drunk life, which is impossible.
Every one of us who isn't drinking today is strong as nails.
Rock On!
This made me LOL --
Originally Posted by tomls
I think that I may have this whole sobriety start up a little easier than most.
Hmmm. Now that I look at it, that's all pretty much true.
But the incredibly big lift about staying sober isn't due to my own personal context, whatever it is. Staying sober is incredible because I'm an alcoholic. If I had a happy upbringing and a traditional home life and worked in a tea-totalling hugs-and-kisses cupcake store, the person I was would have drunk it all away.
No matter the circumstance, there's nothing easy about an alcoholic getting sober -- except in comparison to how hard it is to manage a drunk life, which is impossible.
Every one of us who isn't drinking today is strong as nails.
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