Class of April 2015 Part 12
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Interesting timing amp on your Outlook of problems and showing kindness.
I just listened to a speech by this guy I've been following, Dr. Wayne Dyer. The segment was how spirituality is the answer to every problem. He explains how the Ego is the one that creates its own problems, and obstacles for that matter. Some people are weighed down greatly by their problems, run by their ego. Others are able to focus on their spiritual side and it's those folks who don't see problems. Only opportunities.
Now spirituality, as he describes it, is being connected with your source. The energy where we came from before we took the bodies we are in today.
I never really saw myself "exisiting" before I was born, or see myself existing after I die. Still don't have a grasp of that. How could we have population growth if spirits are recycled? So many questions.
But the other day I saw a mother bird teaching its baby how to fly. I love seeing that. It made me ask myself, and eventually Google, do birds remember their parents? Do they visit once in a while?
The answer is mostly no. Although some birds can recognize their parents later in life, the majority of them don't. It's like they exist only in the now. They don't recall the past, nor do they anticipate or fear the future. There's just the now. And for migrating birds, just a strong "need" to fly south, that's my interpretation anyway.
So if animals are living in the now, so are we. The difference is, we have egos and memories. Anyway... Deep stuff. I simply love listening to this guy.
On the kindness front, during this same speech, he referenced mother Theresa during a lesson about showing kindness despite the environment, or others attitudes. She went on to say that when we show love, others will show hate, but to show love anyway. When we live a life of abundance, others will be jealous, but to live in abundance anyway. When we show beauty, others will point out ugly, but to show beauty anyway. When we see ourselves as good, others will point out our flaws, be good anyway. Because at the end of the day, our final analysis is with God and ourselves. It's never with other people anyway.
I just listened to a speech by this guy I've been following, Dr. Wayne Dyer. The segment was how spirituality is the answer to every problem. He explains how the Ego is the one that creates its own problems, and obstacles for that matter. Some people are weighed down greatly by their problems, run by their ego. Others are able to focus on their spiritual side and it's those folks who don't see problems. Only opportunities.
Now spirituality, as he describes it, is being connected with your source. The energy where we came from before we took the bodies we are in today.
I never really saw myself "exisiting" before I was born, or see myself existing after I die. Still don't have a grasp of that. How could we have population growth if spirits are recycled? So many questions.
But the other day I saw a mother bird teaching its baby how to fly. I love seeing that. It made me ask myself, and eventually Google, do birds remember their parents? Do they visit once in a while?
The answer is mostly no. Although some birds can recognize their parents later in life, the majority of them don't. It's like they exist only in the now. They don't recall the past, nor do they anticipate or fear the future. There's just the now. And for migrating birds, just a strong "need" to fly south, that's my interpretation anyway.
So if animals are living in the now, so are we. The difference is, we have egos and memories. Anyway... Deep stuff. I simply love listening to this guy.
On the kindness front, during this same speech, he referenced mother Theresa during a lesson about showing kindness despite the environment, or others attitudes. She went on to say that when we show love, others will show hate, but to show love anyway. When we live a life of abundance, others will be jealous, but to live in abundance anyway. When we show beauty, others will point out ugly, but to show beauty anyway. When we see ourselves as good, others will point out our flaws, be good anyway. Because at the end of the day, our final analysis is with God and ourselves. It's never with other people anyway.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
So my fiance asked if she should buy alcohol for the graduation party. We are anticipating 60 people. Probably at least 25 drinking age.
I said nah. It's a party for an 18yr old. Who will want to drink? It's going to be hot and humid, alcohol will just make them feel worse. Her underaged friends will be hanging around a bin fire that night. Best if there's none around.
I really felt like nobody would want to drink. Maybe a couple. But ultimately, I felt like nobody would want to.
She went and bought anyway. Lol. She wants to be the perfect host and wants everyone to have a good time. She's going to make mimosa, and got a case of beer, and a case of Mike's hard. Lol. Goes to show just how much my opinion matters.
Man, what a transformation that is in my mind though. It's one thing to have no desire to drink, but it's a different level to think nobody would.
I said nah. It's a party for an 18yr old. Who will want to drink? It's going to be hot and humid, alcohol will just make them feel worse. Her underaged friends will be hanging around a bin fire that night. Best if there's none around.
I really felt like nobody would want to drink. Maybe a couple. But ultimately, I felt like nobody would want to.
She went and bought anyway. Lol. She wants to be the perfect host and wants everyone to have a good time. She's going to make mimosa, and got a case of beer, and a case of Mike's hard. Lol. Goes to show just how much my opinion matters.
Man, what a transformation that is in my mind though. It's one thing to have no desire to drink, but it's a different level to think nobody would.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,189
That's funny Inc. We have cohosted with my in laws an all day Memorial Day BBQ for 18 years. Normally, we have around 125 people show up throughout the course of the day. When my brother in law and I were both drinking, I would buy 7 or 8 cases of beer, plus liquor and wine. We would hang around the bon fire drinking until the sun came up. Now that we are both sober, consumption is way down. I bought three cases last year and had tons left over. I think that I'm going for two this year. I am finding that beer drinkers have become like wine drinkers. They want one or maybe two of the latest microbrew and then are done. I'm not buying 60 dollar a case beer for a BBQ. Most will bring their own six pack if they want to drink. I think I still have a six pack in the basement left over from last year.
Like you said, because I am not drinking, I presume few others will want to. I think I will just buy two this year and see where that ends up. It still amazes me how little most people drink.
Like you said, because I am not drinking, I presume few others will want to. I think I will just buy two this year and see where that ends up. It still amazes me how little most people drink.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Wow. That's a huge difference in overall consumption. Especially for over 100 people!
The party was a smash. I'll have to take inventory to see what's left over alcohol. I didn't see a lot of people drinking. The only thing that caught my eye, was a young man who recently engaged the oldest girl.
He's a very level headed kid. He's 21 or 22, she's 20. Young to be engaged, but they are both very mature. He impresses me. I couldn't help but notice he drank quickly. Had nothing to do with the taste, or the social aspect of having a beer, it was all about getting maximum volume into his body. Not a good sign.
I also noticed his attitude changed a bit for the worst. Just a small shift from the sweet, kind young man I've come to know. I don't know how much he had to drink. Only watched him drink the last bottle shortly before he left. He didn't appear to be intoxicated, but his attitude did shift to the negative rather than the happy/chatty attitude that you come to expect.
This girl attracts guys who have drug / alcohol issues. Her Dad was into drugs and ultimately died from an overdose. She was very young when that happened. She has loving memories of her dad and does miss him.
Her last serious BF was as true alcoholic and heavy into pot. He was also very depressed at times. So he suffered from depression and added fuel to the fire. While she dated him, she was hoping to "save" him. She wanted to help him, support him, love him, in hopes he'd become happy. Of course it doesn't work that way.
I had the opportunity to talk to her about that situation a couple times. I spoke to her as somebody who suffers from depression, smoked a lot of pot, and drank. I love her because she's one of those people who has an open and curious soul. Seeks first to understand before being understood, etc. You can have very open and honest talks and feel very safe sharing.
Given her history, she's doomed to attract alcoholics and druggies though. I thought this guy broke the mold. Now I'm not sure. Time will tell I guess.
But yeah... The party was a smash. Sure was nice being in a huge house that accommodated everyone.
I don't like socializing very much. I'm happy finding one person to hang with for a while. I also tend to breakaway once in a while. Everyone was so spread out, I could have all the space I needed, or hang with a small cluster. Very nice time.
The party was a smash. I'll have to take inventory to see what's left over alcohol. I didn't see a lot of people drinking. The only thing that caught my eye, was a young man who recently engaged the oldest girl.
He's a very level headed kid. He's 21 or 22, she's 20. Young to be engaged, but they are both very mature. He impresses me. I couldn't help but notice he drank quickly. Had nothing to do with the taste, or the social aspect of having a beer, it was all about getting maximum volume into his body. Not a good sign.
I also noticed his attitude changed a bit for the worst. Just a small shift from the sweet, kind young man I've come to know. I don't know how much he had to drink. Only watched him drink the last bottle shortly before he left. He didn't appear to be intoxicated, but his attitude did shift to the negative rather than the happy/chatty attitude that you come to expect.
This girl attracts guys who have drug / alcohol issues. Her Dad was into drugs and ultimately died from an overdose. She was very young when that happened. She has loving memories of her dad and does miss him.
Her last serious BF was as true alcoholic and heavy into pot. He was also very depressed at times. So he suffered from depression and added fuel to the fire. While she dated him, she was hoping to "save" him. She wanted to help him, support him, love him, in hopes he'd become happy. Of course it doesn't work that way.
I had the opportunity to talk to her about that situation a couple times. I spoke to her as somebody who suffers from depression, smoked a lot of pot, and drank. I love her because she's one of those people who has an open and curious soul. Seeks first to understand before being understood, etc. You can have very open and honest talks and feel very safe sharing.
Given her history, she's doomed to attract alcoholics and druggies though. I thought this guy broke the mold. Now I'm not sure. Time will tell I guess.
But yeah... The party was a smash. Sure was nice being in a huge house that accommodated everyone.
I don't like socializing very much. I'm happy finding one person to hang with for a while. I also tend to breakaway once in a while. Everyone was so spread out, I could have all the space I needed, or hang with a small cluster. Very nice time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Great that you can now enjoy parties as a sober person. It's an important step that still mostly eludes me. These days when I'm at any kind of party with much over 15 or 20 people, I don't know what to do with myself and sometimes get nostalgic about boozing which is really not a good idea! I pretty much deal with this by avoiding large social events but, of course, some are inevitable. Next weekend is one for me. Big family wedding up in Salamanca. I get on ok with my political family but they're not who I would choose to spend time with, as a rule. Used to be that I'd have a few drinks, loosen up and unbottle the confidence that I find often deserts me these days at social events. I find myself retreating into myself and will even try to find places where I can physically hide out on my own. This does not seem like healthy behaviour to me and my wife gets really pissed off if she feels I'm being anti-social. I have spoken to her about why I find this kind of event difficult but she doesn't really get it. I'm not sure if I do if I'm honest!!
Anyway, what I do understand is that I will do what it takes to protect my sobriety. I mentioned that business hasn't been so good recently? I was thinking about how ironic that is, because, since I've been sober, I've overhauled all our systems and worked very hard on turning us into a values-based organisation. We're probably on the best place we've ever been in many senses. Fact is we got slammed by cut-price competition which we hadn't bargained for at all and we were caught over-extended. Our market share is still good, so with the right strategy we should be ok just to make some cuts and move on. On a personal level, it's harder. I haven't been paid since October and we're finding it hard to make ends meet. That's not something I can talk to anyone about because it's important that the business projects an image of solidity and success. Why I mention this is because it came up the other day in a conversation with a friend in the context of "what would things be like if I was still drinking". I hunk if I was still drinking I would have lost or be losing my business and I'd be drinking and depressed. Right now I sometimes struggle for motivation because I don't have the reward of a (much needed) pay cheque but I have been rational and have a strategy in place which, I believe, will have things back on an even keel within 6 months. If I'd still been drinking, I doubt I'd have been strategizing at all. Just drinking myself further into debt while watching the death throes of the business.
That is a good example for me of why I can't afford to give up ok no sobriety!
Hope you are all well!
Anyway, what I do understand is that I will do what it takes to protect my sobriety. I mentioned that business hasn't been so good recently? I was thinking about how ironic that is, because, since I've been sober, I've overhauled all our systems and worked very hard on turning us into a values-based organisation. We're probably on the best place we've ever been in many senses. Fact is we got slammed by cut-price competition which we hadn't bargained for at all and we were caught over-extended. Our market share is still good, so with the right strategy we should be ok just to make some cuts and move on. On a personal level, it's harder. I haven't been paid since October and we're finding it hard to make ends meet. That's not something I can talk to anyone about because it's important that the business projects an image of solidity and success. Why I mention this is because it came up the other day in a conversation with a friend in the context of "what would things be like if I was still drinking". I hunk if I was still drinking I would have lost or be losing my business and I'd be drinking and depressed. Right now I sometimes struggle for motivation because I don't have the reward of a (much needed) pay cheque but I have been rational and have a strategy in place which, I believe, will have things back on an even keel within 6 months. If I'd still been drinking, I doubt I'd have been strategizing at all. Just drinking myself further into debt while watching the death throes of the business.
That is a good example for me of why I can't afford to give up ok no sobriety!
Hope you are all well!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
No doubt Amp. If you were drinking, there would not be a possible recovery for the business in sight. Would be all doom and gloom. Not only business failure, but no alternative path for income source.
At least that would be my mindset. I know, because I lived it. I didn't see hope, or a possible bright future until I quit.
At least that would be my mindset. I know, because I lived it. I didn't see hope, or a possible bright future until I quit.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,189
I agree that if you were still drinking Amp, your business would be lost in a short time. It is a little bit of a kick in the pants that you got sobered up and reconfigured your business model, only to struggle financially. I think it's important to remember that the two are not related. My alcoholic brain would have thought the opposite, and said screw it.
Like you mentioned a few days back, the pink cloud stage of sobriety is long over. What we are dealing with is simply life, with all its warts. At least we are living it without our hands tied behind our backs.
Like you mentioned a few days back, the pink cloud stage of sobriety is long over. What we are dealing with is simply life, with all its warts. At least we are living it without our hands tied behind our backs.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Sad then happy within 15min.
Last day with employees at the store. It was a relaxing day. We just hung out mostly. I told them they would all be clocked in for a 10hr day and could leave after we cleaned up. We finished after 3hrs.
The managers were required to stay the full shift. Most everyone hung out for most of the shift. One sales person left with Mgt. It was a nice day.
I'll be back tomorrow for a couple hours to hand the building over and secure things. I felt sad after locking the door today though. Like I was losing family.
That last for 15min until I ran into the wall of traffic I hit sometimes. My drive is normally 1hr, but can be as much a 2hrs with traffic. I've done it enough times that I can gauge my arrival based on if and where I hit the wall of cars.
Today was the 2hr Wall. A nice gift from God to remind me not to be bummed. Good things are planned for me.
Last day with employees at the store. It was a relaxing day. We just hung out mostly. I told them they would all be clocked in for a 10hr day and could leave after we cleaned up. We finished after 3hrs.
The managers were required to stay the full shift. Most everyone hung out for most of the shift. One sales person left with Mgt. It was a nice day.
I'll be back tomorrow for a couple hours to hand the building over and secure things. I felt sad after locking the door today though. Like I was losing family.
That last for 15min until I ran into the wall of traffic I hit sometimes. My drive is normally 1hr, but can be as much a 2hrs with traffic. I've done it enough times that I can gauge my arrival based on if and where I hit the wall of cars.
Today was the 2hr Wall. A nice gift from God to remind me not to be bummed. Good things are planned for me.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,189
And just like that, it's over for another old time retailer. I was reading that perhaps someone in the ownership family might buy the name to possibly reopen again after bankruptcy. You will be long gone by that point Inc.
Bought a bunch of plants today to spruce up the exterior of my house before my gathering this weekend. I was married on Memorial Day weekend, and we, along with my in laws whom live next door, have hosted a big BBQ/Picnic for the last 17 years. We have had up to 125 people show up over the course of the day. In the past, I loved hanging and drinking with folks I rarely saw. Mainly, it was an excuse to drink freely from morning until whenever. I have done the last two years not drinking, and dealing with so many folks is almost like a day at work. Figuring the cost of all the food, beer, and days spent to get houses and yards ready, I really wouldn't mind seeing this "Family Tradition" kind of just slip into history. Do any of you have any family tradition kind of events that you would just as well see go away? I have mentioned this to my wife, but she said that we have been doing this so long, that everyone would just show up automatically. She might be right.
The news of Manchester really put me into a deep funk yesterday. Seeing pictures of the terrified girls and their moms leaving the concert made me incredibly sad. I have an 11 year old daughter, and there is little I can do to protect her from the random madness that inhabits this world at times. I even had a few drinking thoughts enter my head, but quickly realized it was mainly due to being exhausted from work and not eating well. Felt better today, but still not kicking on all cylinders mentally.
Thursday is my last day of work for a week. I have a few days off next week to hopefully unwind a bit post party. I haven't had a week off since early July last year, so I am due for a little time away from the job.
OMD, are you doing ok? We worry when we don't hear from folks here.
Have a good Thursday all!
Bought a bunch of plants today to spruce up the exterior of my house before my gathering this weekend. I was married on Memorial Day weekend, and we, along with my in laws whom live next door, have hosted a big BBQ/Picnic for the last 17 years. We have had up to 125 people show up over the course of the day. In the past, I loved hanging and drinking with folks I rarely saw. Mainly, it was an excuse to drink freely from morning until whenever. I have done the last two years not drinking, and dealing with so many folks is almost like a day at work. Figuring the cost of all the food, beer, and days spent to get houses and yards ready, I really wouldn't mind seeing this "Family Tradition" kind of just slip into history. Do any of you have any family tradition kind of events that you would just as well see go away? I have mentioned this to my wife, but she said that we have been doing this so long, that everyone would just show up automatically. She might be right.
The news of Manchester really put me into a deep funk yesterday. Seeing pictures of the terrified girls and their moms leaving the concert made me incredibly sad. I have an 11 year old daughter, and there is little I can do to protect her from the random madness that inhabits this world at times. I even had a few drinking thoughts enter my head, but quickly realized it was mainly due to being exhausted from work and not eating well. Felt better today, but still not kicking on all cylinders mentally.
Thursday is my last day of work for a week. I have a few days off next week to hopefully unwind a bit post party. I haven't had a week off since early July last year, so I am due for a little time away from the job.
OMD, are you doing ok? We worry when we don't hear from folks here.
Have a good Thursday all!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,189
It has been raining heavily the past few days here, and today was supposed to be lawn day, but it is a guagmire at this point. Finally saw the sun poke out briefly this morning. Have a ton of folks coming Sunday, and the place looks like a bomb went off inside and out. Part of me doesn't really care. If the rest of my family isn't going to step it up, screw it, I'm not killing myself.
One of my assistants was relieved of his position yesterday, so my schedule is suddenly jumbled up, and I have split days off coming up for the next couple of weeks which I hate. Doesn't really feel like down time, especially when I am closing the store the night before.
This time of year is usually one of my favorites, heading into summer before it has gotten hot and vacations on the horizon. Not sure why I am feeling so blasé
about things. Hopefully, seeing the sun will improve my mood.
I hope that you get a long weekend Inc before you start the next chapter in your job search!
Amp, does your business wind down during the summer?
Have a good day all!
One of my assistants was relieved of his position yesterday, so my schedule is suddenly jumbled up, and I have split days off coming up for the next couple of weeks which I hate. Doesn't really feel like down time, especially when I am closing the store the night before.
This time of year is usually one of my favorites, heading into summer before it has gotten hot and vacations on the horizon. Not sure why I am feeling so blasé
about things. Hopefully, seeing the sun will improve my mood.
I hope that you get a long weekend Inc before you start the next chapter in your job search!
Amp, does your business wind down during the summer?
Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Split shifts! Horrible!!! I used to work as a porter at a Manchester airport hotel and was sometimes at work in some capacity for 15 consecutive days. I think that was probably the time in my life when I felt most depressed! Not the most fulfilling job I ever did!
My business winds down in July and we'll close in August and I'll take the family over to England for 10 days. I'm not sure how I'll find the UK when I get there. I was so saddened by the events in Manchester last week. I have an 11 and 14 year old so I guess maybe I over identified a bit... Also because I lived in Manchester for a while it seemed a bit larger-than-life. Together with the general election and the ongoing Brexit saga I feel increasingly distant from my country. The small-minded bitterness and racist opinionated views that people seem to feel justified in shouting from the rooftops since the Brexit vote has me feeling like I don't recognise the place I left back in 1996. If the Tories get in I honestly fear for the future. I may take Spanish nationality. The main reason I don't is to keep my kids' options open...
Driving the 5 hours up to Salamanca this afternoon for that wedding I mentioned. Not in the best shape for it as I haven't been sleeping well. Last night I woke up at 5,30am with my mind on overdrive playing through all the cringe-worthy things I've done since I was about 15. Mostly all alcohol related, of course. Don't know where that **** came from but I'm wrecked today. Going to be a caffeine fueled drive!
Take care all
My business winds down in July and we'll close in August and I'll take the family over to England for 10 days. I'm not sure how I'll find the UK when I get there. I was so saddened by the events in Manchester last week. I have an 11 and 14 year old so I guess maybe I over identified a bit... Also because I lived in Manchester for a while it seemed a bit larger-than-life. Together with the general election and the ongoing Brexit saga I feel increasingly distant from my country. The small-minded bitterness and racist opinionated views that people seem to feel justified in shouting from the rooftops since the Brexit vote has me feeling like I don't recognise the place I left back in 1996. If the Tories get in I honestly fear for the future. I may take Spanish nationality. The main reason I don't is to keep my kids' options open...
Driving the 5 hours up to Salamanca this afternoon for that wedding I mentioned. Not in the best shape for it as I haven't been sleeping well. Last night I woke up at 5,30am with my mind on overdrive playing through all the cringe-worthy things I've done since I was about 15. Mostly all alcohol related, of course. Don't know where that **** came from but I'm wrecked today. Going to be a caffeine fueled drive!
Take care all
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,189
I hope your drive was uneventful Amp. Hopefully, the wedding will not be too awkward for you.
Spent most of the day working outside trying to get my lawn and my in laws lawn cut in between rain showers. Finally saw a few hours of sun. It seems cloudy weather just aggravates my down moods. I can see why you moved to sunny Spain Amp!
Talk soon!
Spent most of the day working outside trying to get my lawn and my in laws lawn cut in between rain showers. Finally saw a few hours of sun. It seems cloudy weather just aggravates my down moods. I can see why you moved to sunny Spain Amp!
Talk soon!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
I'm using Speech-to-Text so please excuse punctuation and strange words.
Something I've learned that has been very helpful to me may help you guys two. It's something I use now all the time for depression or stress. It also helped me tremendously get over my past.
Basically the idea is to get in touch with those feelings. Actually it's more than that. It helps to really understand what those feelings are and understand why they are there.
The best way to do that is to talk to it. You treat it like another spirit. Another being. Somebody who has an agenda. Somebody who is trying to tell you something or get you to believe something.
You may recall that I used this technique two talk to my former self. I spoke to the person who left his family of 15 years. That exercise really helped me overcome some major depression. Since then I've been seeing other situations in which that technique can be used.
Believe it or not, some people have been able to overcome terminal diseases and other illnesses simply by talking to them. In those cases they tell the illness to go away. There's more to it than that, but basically it just comes down to talking to it.
It works very well if you treat it like a spirit. To do that you need to put yourself in a quiet place. It helps a lot to meditate for a few minutes first. Doing a meditation where you focus purely on your own spirit and the universe. Spending a couple minutes just appreciating the idea of Eternity and the possibility of everything having a purpose and that nothing, at least very little, is Random.
When I'm stressed or if I'm depressed I'm using this technique with huge payoffs. If nothing else, it put my mind in a more healthy place. One where I realize that my problems don't really exist in the universe, only in my mind. If I didn't think about my problems, they simply would not exist.
I'll often listen to that emotion so I get an idea of why it's there and what it's trying to accomplish for me. Once I know what it's trying to accomplish for me, then I simply let it know that I can do that without those feelings.
Sounds weird even to me. Not to mention I'm not explaining it well. But the more you do it the more it works and the more it makes perfect sense. It's almost to a point of being common sense for me. It just feels like everything has a vibration, or a vibe or a energy to it.
I find that we tend to ignore those feelings, or we try to bury them, or move past them with out giving them attention. But I find that the more I do that, the stronger that feeling becomes. Almost like a child who is trying to get your attention.
It's the same principles that I applied early in recovery with my AV. Instead of trying to ignore it, I focused in on it and felt it physically and emotionally. The more I did that, the weaker my withdrawal became.
Something I've learned that has been very helpful to me may help you guys two. It's something I use now all the time for depression or stress. It also helped me tremendously get over my past.
Basically the idea is to get in touch with those feelings. Actually it's more than that. It helps to really understand what those feelings are and understand why they are there.
The best way to do that is to talk to it. You treat it like another spirit. Another being. Somebody who has an agenda. Somebody who is trying to tell you something or get you to believe something.
You may recall that I used this technique two talk to my former self. I spoke to the person who left his family of 15 years. That exercise really helped me overcome some major depression. Since then I've been seeing other situations in which that technique can be used.
Believe it or not, some people have been able to overcome terminal diseases and other illnesses simply by talking to them. In those cases they tell the illness to go away. There's more to it than that, but basically it just comes down to talking to it.
It works very well if you treat it like a spirit. To do that you need to put yourself in a quiet place. It helps a lot to meditate for a few minutes first. Doing a meditation where you focus purely on your own spirit and the universe. Spending a couple minutes just appreciating the idea of Eternity and the possibility of everything having a purpose and that nothing, at least very little, is Random.
When I'm stressed or if I'm depressed I'm using this technique with huge payoffs. If nothing else, it put my mind in a more healthy place. One where I realize that my problems don't really exist in the universe, only in my mind. If I didn't think about my problems, they simply would not exist.
I'll often listen to that emotion so I get an idea of why it's there and what it's trying to accomplish for me. Once I know what it's trying to accomplish for me, then I simply let it know that I can do that without those feelings.
Sounds weird even to me. Not to mention I'm not explaining it well. But the more you do it the more it works and the more it makes perfect sense. It's almost to a point of being common sense for me. It just feels like everything has a vibration, or a vibe or a energy to it.
I find that we tend to ignore those feelings, or we try to bury them, or move past them with out giving them attention. But I find that the more I do that, the stronger that feeling becomes. Almost like a child who is trying to get your attention.
It's the same principles that I applied early in recovery with my AV. Instead of trying to ignore it, I focused in on it and felt it physically and emotionally. The more I did that, the weaker my withdrawal became.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
God....you guys talk.
Young classes are just day reports....y'know "I did", Day X, etc.
Yup..... I made the 90 days.
Sober is hard....solitary is hard too. Sometimes one can just wipe the other for a while.
The people who succeed at this are the people who are connected. I'm not...so 90 days, then just let me out for a bit.
Young classes are just day reports....y'know "I did", Day X, etc.
Yup..... I made the 90 days.
Sober is hard....solitary is hard too. Sometimes one can just wipe the other for a while.
The people who succeed at this are the people who are connected. I'm not...so 90 days, then just let me out for a bit.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,189
There is no way in the world that I would be sober still, Canguy, without sharing my thoughts with this group and others on SR. This disease is too much to try to face on one's own day in and day out. If the young classes are too day to day, maybe try the Undies thread, where there is more sober time variety. I still pop in there from time to time. Feel free to chat here. We are just a bunch of friends talking life.
Inc, I am impressed with the speech to text program. I get ridiculous results with mine. Very interesting theory. I definitely would like to learn more about that.
Going to try to get a little more yard work done in between rain showers.
Have a good day all!
Inc, I am impressed with the speech to text program. I get ridiculous results with mine. Very interesting theory. I definitely would like to learn more about that.
Going to try to get a little more yard work done in between rain showers.
Have a good day all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yes Canguy. Different groups have different feels. I wonder though... 90 days was a bit of a funk for all of us. It's a stage where on one hand you feel accomplished and reached a goal you thought was impossible, but when you get there, it's not all peaches and cream.
You haven't matured the sober muscles yet. The mind seems fixated on the unsolved issues instead of the wins and improvements. The improvements so far have mostly been physical and you've been recognizing them for a while now. They kinda lost their luster.
But on the emotional side, you may still be struggling with things like enjoying yourself, relaxing, celebrating, waves of depression, unable to cope with stress. At 90 days you may feel like this is it. It may never get better, or only marginally better.
Then there's all the work and effort you out into getting this far. At first, the work had payoffs. At this stage, the payoffs aren't as noticeable or as impactful.
So yeah.. 90 days is a funky time. Maybe everybody in your group is going through the same funk. We all did.
Have faith buddy. The emotional changes may not be as immediate or as quickly noticed and appreciated. But the emotional changes are far more rewarding. Way more. Not even close to the improvements you've come to be thankful for so far.
It's like the price is right. You got on stage and won the first prize so far, maybe a pool table, or a scooter. The big prize is yet to come behind door #1!
You haven't matured the sober muscles yet. The mind seems fixated on the unsolved issues instead of the wins and improvements. The improvements so far have mostly been physical and you've been recognizing them for a while now. They kinda lost their luster.
But on the emotional side, you may still be struggling with things like enjoying yourself, relaxing, celebrating, waves of depression, unable to cope with stress. At 90 days you may feel like this is it. It may never get better, or only marginally better.
Then there's all the work and effort you out into getting this far. At first, the work had payoffs. At this stage, the payoffs aren't as noticeable or as impactful.
So yeah.. 90 days is a funky time. Maybe everybody in your group is going through the same funk. We all did.
Have faith buddy. The emotional changes may not be as immediate or as quickly noticed and appreciated. But the emotional changes are far more rewarding. Way more. Not even close to the improvements you've come to be thankful for so far.
It's like the price is right. You got on stage and won the first prize so far, maybe a pool table, or a scooter. The big prize is yet to come behind door #1!
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