Great that you can now enjoy parties as a sober person. It's an important step that still mostly eludes me. These days when I'm at any kind of party with much over 15 or 20 people, I don't know what to do with myself and sometimes get nostalgic about boozing which is really not a good idea! I pretty much deal with this by avoiding large social events but, of course, some are inevitable. Next weekend is one for me. Big family wedding up in Salamanca. I get on ok with my political family but they're not who I would choose to spend time with, as a rule. Used to be that I'd have a few drinks, loosen up and unbottle the confidence that I find often deserts me these days at social events. I find myself retreating into myself and will even try to find places where I can physically hide out on my own. This does not seem like healthy behaviour to me and my wife gets really pissed off if she feels I'm being anti-social. I have spoken to her about why I find this kind of event difficult but she doesn't really get it. I'm not sure if I do if I'm honest!!
Anyway, what I do understand is that I will do what it takes to protect my sobriety. I mentioned that business hasn't been so good recently? I was thinking about how ironic that is, because, since I've been sober, I've overhauled all our systems and worked very hard on turning us into a values-based organisation. We're probably on the best place we've ever been in many senses. Fact is we got slammed by cut-price competition which we hadn't bargained for at all and we were caught over-extended. Our market share is still good, so with the right strategy we should be ok just to make some cuts and move on. On a personal level, it's harder. I haven't been paid since October and we're finding it hard to make ends meet. That's not something I can talk to anyone about because it's important that the business projects an image of solidity and success. Why I mention this is because it came up the other day in a conversation with a friend in the context of "what would things be like if I was still drinking". I hunk if I was still drinking I would have lost or be losing my business and I'd be drinking and depressed. Right now I sometimes struggle for motivation because I don't have the reward of a (much needed) pay cheque but I have been rational and have a strategy in place which, I believe, will have things back on an even keel within 6 months. If I'd still been drinking, I doubt I'd have been strategizing at all. Just drinking myself further into debt while watching the death throes of the business.
That is a good example for me of why I can't afford to give up ok no sobriety!
Hope you are all well!