Class of December 2016 Support Thread
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 1,133
Originally Posted by BringingBackB 
MeSoSober - I am currently reading Jason Vale's - Kick the drink easily, which is helping provide new insights. I have also read Jack Trimpey's book on AVRT a few years ago. I would love to read it again, although for the life of me, I cannot find it!. I also read Refuge Recovery, which is a buddhist approach, but I really struggled with it if i'm honest with you. There are people on here who it has helped hugely though if I remember rightly.
LOTS of very inexpensive recovery books on that Well-Known Auction Site.
Welcome GhostFace, WaterHunter, mblake -- glad you're here.
Only Day 2 for me, but I'm doing all right. REALLY looking forward to the long Christmas break we get at work. I have a lot of regrouping and cleaning and reading and exercising and everything else to do. All sober, of course.
DA: Suffolk cop in fatal Sunrise Hwy. crash had 10 pints of beer | Newsday
I read this today and I need a steady dose of these kinds of stories as a good slap in the face to remind me that if I drink again, it could be me who drives drunk and kills someone.
Hugs, all. Tomorrow is another day. Remember your strength.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 155
Day 3. Went to my first AA meeting in months, but I didn't get a white chip.... Just feels weird and I got too nervous. I'll get one tomorrow though. I need to meet women and get a home group. Want to really work at it this time not half ass it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 127
Hello everyone.
Im back. After a long time. I have "been in control" of my drinking in a very bad way for quite a considerable time now. Whilst I suppose it's futile to blame something for my drinking, my relationship with my wife has something to do with it all. But that's still an excuse.
I am an alcoholic. Always have been. I suppose it has been in many guises over my adult life, had reasons, excuses, cause, and drastic effect all the way through my twenties and thirties. My friends have been regularly wasted with me through some of it. But they stop at some point. They don't get arrested, beaten up, wake up in the middle of nowhere with no wallet or house keys. Act like a ******* ******* like I do.
I lost my mum when I was 15. My father promptly married a 26 year old who kicked me and my brothers out of the house. The drinking really started then. 21 years ago. My little brother (and best friend) died in 2009 and I rode that one for a good few years. Now Im running out of excuses, but still getting off my face. People tell me things about our nights I have no recollection of. I don't even feel ashamed anymore. I just accept that I'm a ******* disaster.
And I have two kids. They are lovely. Just little dudes needing a decent dad. I am, for the most part, when Im not getting wasted.
You know the worst thing? I can go days without a drop. But when I get it.. then it just goes fast. Lunatic fast. Someone said the other day that my eyes change. I become someone else. A dark person that I have never met, because I probably can't remember. My body and soul is taken over by someone with a different agenda.
But then I am the nice drunk. The friendly, funny, witty drunk. And so I lie to myself that that makes up for it. Who doesn't enjoy a few drinks now and again? After Christmas I'll stop. Just after that weekend my friend comes over. Then my other friend's birthday. Then my trip to Paris with my wife. Then the time I'll just get slyly wasted after work, drink 15 beers and be at home cooking dinner, pretending to be sober. Then because I was stressed out. It was a hard day at work. I can't deal with my wife.
But it's always someone else's fault. But no. I know that's all a load of ********. It's me. I'm just a ******* loser with no sense of perspective. I think I can drink in moderation. But it's a huge lie.
All the loss I ever had I dealt with through alcohol. And now there is no loss, I'm just drinking anyway. Brilliant coping mechanism that was. I don't exactly know why Im here, because I "tried" before but found a reason to drink again.
I'm not really sure where to start, although I suppose this is some sort of start. It's probably a letter to myself. I feel like **** and don't have anything to offer anyone at the moment. Just epic fail.
Im back. After a long time. I have "been in control" of my drinking in a very bad way for quite a considerable time now. Whilst I suppose it's futile to blame something for my drinking, my relationship with my wife has something to do with it all. But that's still an excuse.
I am an alcoholic. Always have been. I suppose it has been in many guises over my adult life, had reasons, excuses, cause, and drastic effect all the way through my twenties and thirties. My friends have been regularly wasted with me through some of it. But they stop at some point. They don't get arrested, beaten up, wake up in the middle of nowhere with no wallet or house keys. Act like a ******* ******* like I do.
I lost my mum when I was 15. My father promptly married a 26 year old who kicked me and my brothers out of the house. The drinking really started then. 21 years ago. My little brother (and best friend) died in 2009 and I rode that one for a good few years. Now Im running out of excuses, but still getting off my face. People tell me things about our nights I have no recollection of. I don't even feel ashamed anymore. I just accept that I'm a ******* disaster.
And I have two kids. They are lovely. Just little dudes needing a decent dad. I am, for the most part, when Im not getting wasted.
You know the worst thing? I can go days without a drop. But when I get it.. then it just goes fast. Lunatic fast. Someone said the other day that my eyes change. I become someone else. A dark person that I have never met, because I probably can't remember. My body and soul is taken over by someone with a different agenda.
But then I am the nice drunk. The friendly, funny, witty drunk. And so I lie to myself that that makes up for it. Who doesn't enjoy a few drinks now and again? After Christmas I'll stop. Just after that weekend my friend comes over. Then my other friend's birthday. Then my trip to Paris with my wife. Then the time I'll just get slyly wasted after work, drink 15 beers and be at home cooking dinner, pretending to be sober. Then because I was stressed out. It was a hard day at work. I can't deal with my wife.
But it's always someone else's fault. But no. I know that's all a load of ********. It's me. I'm just a ******* loser with no sense of perspective. I think I can drink in moderation. But it's a huge lie.
All the loss I ever had I dealt with through alcohol. And now there is no loss, I'm just drinking anyway. Brilliant coping mechanism that was. I don't exactly know why Im here, because I "tried" before but found a reason to drink again.
I'm not really sure where to start, although I suppose this is some sort of start. It's probably a letter to myself. I feel like **** and don't have anything to offer anyone at the moment. Just epic fail.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 890
Hey EE, that was a hell of a long introduction back into the forum and a heck of a familiar story. No one judging you here brother! You have been here before and you know what to do. If you have a few days under your belt already, GREAT! If not make TODAY DAY 1, GREAT TOO! Have a plan and make a pledge for 24 hours at a time.
Most of us in this thread are Newbies and we ALL have our own stories that brought us here, but we are ALL here to get SOBER!
Welcome aboard. Read, Read and Read some more!
Here is another good thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-188-a.html
Most of us in this thread are Newbies and we ALL have our own stories that brought us here, but we are ALL here to get SOBER!
Welcome aboard. Read, Read and Read some more!
Here is another good thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-188-a.html
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Welcome ee and all the other newcomers. Its great to see so many of us here together supporting each other.
Day 11 for me now. I'm feeling a bit melancholic this morning, but that's because I have been reflecting on a lot of things within the past few hours. Overall i'm feeling confident in pushing forward.
I'm off to the local drug + alcohol centre here this afternoon. They're so busy, it took me 2 weeks to get an appointment. That goes some way to showing the scale of people with drink + drug issues, particularly in my area. We think we are isolated and alone, but we really aren't. One of the reasons I want to be on their books is because they run SMART meetings there. I've done the online ones but never been to an in person meeting, always wanted to. Its a recovery method that is still growing, so there aren't many meetings right now, but thats a darn site better than a couple of years ago when they were only online.
I'll be sure to report back afterwards and check in here. Apart from that i'm just enjoying my time off relaxing, reading, playing video games. De-stressing from what has been an extremely hectic couple of months.
Take care all
Day 11 for me now. I'm feeling a bit melancholic this morning, but that's because I have been reflecting on a lot of things within the past few hours. Overall i'm feeling confident in pushing forward.
I'm off to the local drug + alcohol centre here this afternoon. They're so busy, it took me 2 weeks to get an appointment. That goes some way to showing the scale of people with drink + drug issues, particularly in my area. We think we are isolated and alone, but we really aren't. One of the reasons I want to be on their books is because they run SMART meetings there. I've done the online ones but never been to an in person meeting, always wanted to. Its a recovery method that is still growing, so there aren't many meetings right now, but thats a darn site better than a couple of years ago when they were only online.
I'll be sure to report back afterwards and check in here. Apart from that i'm just enjoying my time off relaxing, reading, playing video games. De-stressing from what has been an extremely hectic couple of months.
Take care all
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Welcome back EE 
Calling yourself a loser and other names is exactly what your addiction wants - its much easier to ride over someone with low self esteem.
You're not a loser tho - you've fought this a long time, you keep coming back, and I think you'll keep fighting until you get this
I hope you can make this time your time..any ideas on a plan?
D
Calling yourself a loser and other names is exactly what your addiction wants - its much easier to ride over someone with low self esteem.
You're not a loser tho - you've fought this a long time, you keep coming back, and I think you'll keep fighting until you get this
I hope you can make this time your time..any ideas on a plan?
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 890
Jump on in PW! Welcome to our class. Sounds like you are already starting Day 2. Lots of good stuff and folks lending a hand on this forum. I am only on Day 12 but have gained much more confidence than when I started. Lots of Old Timers with great advice!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 127
Thank you quitter62 and Dee.
That was quite an introduction back to this site. I suppose there was a lot of truth to get out.
I forgot that there is a place where people don't automatically judge you for your problems. It's good to be here.
Dee, I'm not sure I have a plan. I know I need to be sober to think through all of the underlying issues I have which I have previously medicated with alcohol. I just took 2 days off work, am going to go to Rome tomorrow with my camera, walk around the city, clear my head and try to formulate a plan.
Any tips from you guys would be sincerely appreciated. Thank you for having me back!
That was quite an introduction back to this site. I suppose there was a lot of truth to get out.
I forgot that there is a place where people don't automatically judge you for your problems. It's good to be here.
Dee, I'm not sure I have a plan. I know I need to be sober to think through all of the underlying issues I have which I have previously medicated with alcohol. I just took 2 days off work, am going to go to Rome tomorrow with my camera, walk around the city, clear my head and try to formulate a plan.
Any tips from you guys would be sincerely appreciated. Thank you for having me back!
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 636
Thank you all for the welcome. I've been here before and lost track and failed but I'm picking myself back up. The gym and meditation has been working for me. Today is going to be hard but I'm managing by keeping myself busy and constantly working on my personal growth. Hope everyone is doing well
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Morning all. Day 14. Feel rotten today not felt great all week tbh taken day off work and taking it easy.
Welcome to all the newbies.
Hope your meeting goes well BBB.
Welcome back EE. Have fun in rome. We,re off there in a couple of months so I'll get some tips from you
Welcome to all the newbies.
Hope your meeting goes well BBB.
Welcome back EE. Have fun in rome. We,re off there in a couple of months so I'll get some tips from you
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 155
Day 4. I shared at a meeting for the first time. Probably because there was only six of us in the room. But it really helped open my eyes to some obvious signs that led to my relapse. Like hanging out in bars, not speaking up in AA, not meeting more sober people.
I'm really going to work hard to go to a meeting everyday, so far they have been great starts to my day! I know what happens when I don't give it my all so why not see what happens when I DO give it my all?
But this weekend an old friend is having an xmas party. I think I'll go late, use the excuse I'm driving, bring food and hang out mainly near the food plates all night. UGH. I don't want to cancel on her.
I'm really going to work hard to go to a meeting everyday, so far they have been great starts to my day! I know what happens when I don't give it my all so why not see what happens when I DO give it my all?
But this weekend an old friend is having an xmas party. I think I'll go late, use the excuse I'm driving, bring food and hang out mainly near the food plates all night. UGH. I don't want to cancel on her.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Hope Well done for sharing. Its great youve found what helps.
Please don't be afraid of cancelling. I realised I have to put myself and my feelings and sobriety first before other people. No way could I have gone to a Xmas party after 1 week sober. I would be worried about not drinking what people would say the fact I'd want to drink etc. Even if I survived intact I'd be so stressed by the time I got home I'd drink. putting yourself in uncomfortable situations early on is dangerous ime
Originally Posted by SulfuricSplash
Day 4. I shared at a meeting for the first time. Probably because there was only six of us in the room. But it really helped open my eyes to some obvious signs that led to my relapse. Like hanging out in bars, not speaking up in AA, not meeting more sober people.
I'm really going to work hard to go to a meeting everyday, so far they have been great starts to my day! I know what happens when I don't give it my all so why not see what happens when I DO give it my all?
But this weekend an old friend is having an xmas party. I think I'll go late, use the excuse I'm driving, bring food and hang out mainly near the food plates all night. UGH. I don't want to cancel on her.
I'm really going to work hard to go to a meeting everyday, so far they have been great starts to my day! I know what happens when I don't give it my all so why not see what happens when I DO give it my all?
But this weekend an old friend is having an xmas party. I think I'll go late, use the excuse I'm driving, bring food and hang out mainly near the food plates all night. UGH. I don't want to cancel on her.
Please don't be afraid of cancelling. I realised I have to put myself and my feelings and sobriety first before other people. No way could I have gone to a Xmas party after 1 week sober. I would be worried about not drinking what people would say the fact I'd want to drink etc. Even if I survived intact I'd be so stressed by the time I got home I'd drink. putting yourself in uncomfortable situations early on is dangerous ime
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
I'd like to rejoin you all. Another day 1 here. I have a busy day today and all I want to do is stay in bed. I'm hoping the busy will help with cravings today. Going to pick up my daughter an hour and a half away, shopping, drive back home and go to my three sons christmas concert. If I let AV it would tell me I can see something to drink in between getting home and the concert, because my hubby will be driving. What madness.
I've also been letting myself drink nightly because of my Mom being sick. It's time to stop using that as an excuse. It's also time for me to talk to my hubby again. No alcohol in the house.
Thanks for letting me rant. I really truly hope and pray this will be my last class.
to all
I've also been letting myself drink nightly because of my Mom being sick. It's time to stop using that as an excuse. It's also time for me to talk to my hubby again. No alcohol in the house.
Thanks for letting me rant. I really truly hope and pray this will be my last class.
to all
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