Dee74

Take it from me - I smoked weed daily for 30 years - its a really bad idea.

Its a bad idea because you're still looking for escape with an addictive substance.

Its a bad idea because bad ideas like drinking again could sound very good when stoned.

It's a bad idea because far from being harmless it carries with it a psychological addiction that was actually worse than my relationship with alcohol ever got.

D

LastDrinks

Darn Dee, you're agreeing with the 'good' voice in my head and spoiling all the fun

You are right however. Suppose just have to ride this one out.

Dee74

I've made all the mistakes so you guys don't have to LOL.

You'll look back and be glad you did ride it out, I promise

D

LastDrinks

Thanks Dee. if you had done AA you would have had lifetime honours for step 12 within the organisation lol.

Martin1

I only smoked it for about three years and the times I didn't have it, I couldn't sleep.

I can remember at night searching for hours for any tiny little buds or anything I'd dropped on my floor to roll up tiny spliffs. So glad I quit.

WhiskeyBent

I only like smoking weed when im drunk. Now that im not drunk, I dont smoke weed anymore. lol.

EventHorizons

Good morning niners!!!

Good luck with today and tomorrow!! I hope everyone has a great weekend!

EH

WhiskeyBent

bike ride in the books feeling a lot better. Going to make september to the end.

HelenofTroy

Good morning September gang! Slept well and spending the day with my daughter and granddaughter. I have so much to be grateful for. Wishing everyone a good day

tekink

Good morning and happy saturday! Onward to day 12.

Meshelly

Good morning September class.
Day 14! =)
I will not drink today no matter what!

Pirene

I was the same way. So many times when I drank I lost control and wanted anything to get me as wasted as possible. I definitely don't have an off switch. Reasons for smoking pot are definitely personal but to me a drug is a drug, an escape, an excuse etc. Years ago my brother said to me that when you smoke weed everything is good, you're happy with everything and that makes you lose your drive for trying to achieve. Just his opinion but I could see his point.

Red300Hemi

There is light at the end of the tunnel, and ITS NOT A TRAIN!
I feel better today, woke up with a little frustration but it passed. I am so glad I haven't used!

Ya know, there has never been a time where I've said "I'm so glad I relapsed!"

CuteNGayYay

Happy Saturday gang!
Hope everyone has an amazing day and evening!
Day 18 and feeling ok. Make sure to check in all!

Dee74

Glad everyone seems to feel a little better

congrats on 2 weeks meshelly
D

Disonant

Middle of day 7. Kind of struggling to keep my focus. Starting to think I'm hopeless. I'm sober now. Reading a book about the pursuit of happiness, and one of the early suggestions was before doing something, asking yourself if it will bring you happiness, or suffering. If I drink today, that will only lead to suffering. Thinking back, even when I'm drinking, I don't really like it. It makes me feel bloated, sick to my stomach, gives me headaches, makes me want to chains smoke cigarettes, which dries out my throat and clogs my lungs. And I'm not talking about the next day hangover! I feel this way WHILE I'm drinking. Yet my brain is trying to convince me this is what I need to get through the night. What the heck brain! What are you trying to do to me? Huh? I want to have compassion for myself and others. I want to feel empathy for the less fortunate. I want to be able to have a sense of intimacy with friends and loved ones. How is that gonna happen if I drink, and literally engage in destroying my own body and mind! Don't you get it, brain? You got some growing up to do.

Heh... kinda got lost in the thought there and went with it. Thanks for the rant. I hope we all can muster the strength to get through today.

EventHorizons

Hi disonant. It's an evil SOB isn't it? When we look, really, really look, we see what a rotten substance it actually is. It's a poison in every sense of the word. I work in a chemistry lab, and we sometimes use ethanol to dissolve things that water can't dissolve, and ketones (by products that can build up when our body and liver is under duress) to dissolve things that most other things can't. We also use alcohol as a disinfectant! So, basically we're intentionally drinking a cell killing solvent.

How your conscious mind feels about it, unfortunately doesn't carry as much weight as the what the reward center of your brain thinks. Remember Pavlovs dogs? Dogs definitely don't care about ringing bells. But, tie that into the reward center of the brain, and how you feel about drinking or bells or anything else becomes irrelevant if the reward center has been conditioned to see it as a benefit or something useful.

That's the evilness of this whole thing. We fall deeper into a hole because we are fighting something we know is there, can see and feel, and one that we know is slowly but surely killing us. The problem is, alcohol has a "man on the inside" - your reward center. It's not actually a struggle with alcohol, it's a struggle with ourselves. Alcohol just makes us lose that struggle over and over again, and the rest of our body (and life!) suffers for each lost battle.

I think a big key is seeing alcohol for what it is, a cruel, poisonous bastard that turns US against OURSELVES. After that, it feels like a matter of who do you really want to be, and are you willing to go to war with your mind and body in order to save them.

Sorry for my own rant, but I'm irritated that I let alcohol do this to me for so long too! I had such a productive day today, and I wonder what life would have been like had I been doing this all along. And if I let bygones be bygones, how do I maintain or continue to improve upon what I've started here.

EH

LastDrinks

Morning everyone - glad to hear mostly everyone is doing well.

Day 13 here, and the last few days have been way harder than the first few. Maybe because I've been off the valium for 6 days, but having trouble sleeping, thinking way too much, and craving bad. Tried every trick in my book that has helped so far and with other things before, plus other new things, but nothing is helping so much.

I'm going to keep pushing through still, but I am just wondering if anyone else has found it harder after the 9-10 day period than the first week for not drinking?

EventHorizons

Wish I had better news... but for me it seemed like days 10 or 12 through 16 were the worst so far. Friday and today were a little better. I'm still figuring this all out. I think today went a little better because I did a lot of heavy manual labor out in the hot sun. Even during some of my worst stretches, I never cared to drink much on those days.

But yes! I know what you mean!

EH

EventHorizons

Woo hoo! Day 18 and in safely for the night! Feeling pretty good. Not perfect but so thankful to have made it another day.

Thank you all, and I hope your days went as well!

EH