Class of September 2016 Part 2
 

The last part:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-1-a.html

Hi,

I'm jumping in, in the September class. I want this to work this time, and maybe having a "class" to relate to in a similar time period will help.

I wish everyone the best, and this may be the only class reunion I ever care to see!

Good luck everyone!

EH

Thanks for continuing the thread Anna.

Countrysidegirl-I completely know where you're coming from-I have bpd and depression too. But I reckon that the fact we're both here and fighting is a great thing. Keep posting and reading around here, there's so much advice around and I find it very comforting-it's the only way I can get myself to sleep-by reading and posting.

Welcome eventhorizons! Having a class sure does help-we're all experiencing the same rollercoaster! We may as well enjoy it with some company! Closing out Day 2 for me. Last day 2 ever. I'm pretty confident I know where my plan has failed in the past. Day 3 is when I make it a daily routine as most withdrawals are gone for me now. I need to be an active part in the life I'm living, I've taken a very passive role for the last few years, lurching from one binge to the next, living on my nerves but not looking after myself to prevent relapse from occuring. They're just some of the thought mulling about in my head at the moment.

Really like the way you put that, SadSadGirl. That's the change I need to make too. Really hoping that cutting out the booze will help us both to get there. x

Hi CountrysideGirl - really pleased you're back and posting and still fighting this. Great news about your ultrasound. I've been wondering if I might be able to get tests done to see if I have done any permanent damage... Must be a weight off your mind to know that it's come back clear and you can have a fresh start.

I suffer from depression too and have read in so many different places that alcohol makes it much, much worse - but despite trying "everything" to combat depression, quitting alcohol is the one thing I have never given a proper go before - it was such a crutch, it seemed too hard. I'm hopeful that without alcohol messing with the chemicals in my brain, I might be giving myself a decent chance of being happier. x

Checking in again.
I feel as if I'm only just starting to come out of a fog. I can hardly remember the past few days after finding my partner in bed with another woman and also discovering he is addicted to cocaine.
Starting to get some things done today and get out of my head a bit. Day#3. I've been to meetings 7 days in a row.
I am having a hard time reading other's posts ... I just keep reading the same sentence over and over so I'm sorry I'm not keeping up well with you guys.

Windancer :hug:

@timeforchange I see alot of myself in your post about drinking for 2 days then not for 2 days and on and on and on. Everyday seemed like nightmare for me, I'd turn my brain off with alcohol, then when I sobered up having to deal with the regret anger and fear of how I was living my life. I hope with all my heart you can stay sober and have meaningful relationships with your friends and family.
I was not able to do that. I secluded myself from friends to the point where they stopped associating with me, I'd say I'd help them with something, do something together with them and then never show up. My family hates me, my daughter specifically and only talk to me if she is forced to, whether I'm sober or not, it doesn't matter. My brothers only tolerate me because I'm family and they have to. It's such a huge part of my depression, that when I start going down I wonder why I want to continue to live, which makes it really really easy to go to the store and get some booze because I need to turn off my brain. Turn off my madness. Please stay sober and love your family. Before it's too late.

Day 4, feeling better, have a bit of energy too, which is nice because it seems to be a rare thing lately.
Thank you for the encouragement from everyone and welcome all the day 1's. Keep coming back and reading the posts, even if you don't want to post yourself.

Going to sleep, had to check in with the classmates. Day 15 is over for me. First day without any cravings. Very busy, but got lots of things done again.

Take care everyone. Stay strong Windancer, focus on yourself and your sobriety.

Good night

Thanks Sad girl. I'm happy to have a place where maybe I can start to talk this and other things out. It is most definitely a roller coaster. Things are pretty mellow ATM. I guess being on a mini vacation for a few days made it a little easier. I actually extended it a couple of extra days just to have a little more time to reflect and to start to add some tools into my own toolbox.

I'm really sorry Windancer about your situation. Something similar happened to me a few years ago, and the toll it took on me and my sobriety was incalculable. I'd like to think I'd handle it better or differently now, but the truth is I have no idea. BUT, I hope you're stronger than I was (and maybe still am)! And I wasn't smart enough at the time to reach out to anyone, so you're way ahead in my book!

But I'll be here trying to put one foot in front of the other with everyone else, until I march myself out of this mess.

EH

End of day three again. Hopefully this will be the last Day3 in my life.
I am so sick and tired of this starting and stopping.
I am feeling so down today I don't know what to do with myself.
I think I'm going to force myself to call my Sponsor and then I'll have some melatonin and call it a day I guess.

In for day 5.

I am feeling less anxious now and have slept better. Is it normal to be very depressed and anxious for up to say a week after a binge that lasts several days?

Yaaaaay! So glad you're feeling better, and I know you're glad too.

After my several-day binges, I can count on pretty much not sleeping at all for a couple of nights, then sleeping a little, and then by the fourth or fifth night I'd say I'm about back to normal. But we're all different.

Those couple of days after a bender are such a horror, I know what a relief it is, how good it feels to feel normal/good again.

Thanks to CutenGayYay mentioning AA speaker meetings yesterday, I'm planning to go to one next week. I know, big whoop, one meeting next week, but it's a pretty big deal for me to go an AA meeting voluntarily.

Thanks Anna :)

D

Oh man, 2 days ago I posted that my withdrawl symptoms were not that bad - that was a dumb thing to say. Today (day 4) they are kicking in hard. I really hope this doesn't last too long.

I hope not too LastDrinks - we're all different but if my experience is any guide I think you might feel a little better in a day or two :)

D

Checking in for day 3, this is horrible but I'm so glad to have this place to come to. I've been awake for ages checking threads on here. I keep having invasive thoughts on how much I've ruined my life. But sobriety is the only way I can manage to piece it back together. The anxiety is huge today. Don't know how I'll cope!

You cope hour by hour if you have to sadsadgirl - things will get better - I promise :)

D