Class of August 2016 Support Thread Part 1
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Give it some time saltybeagle 
It;s hard to have hanging over your headm I know, but being the best you can be now is the very best thing you can do.
Trust can be re -earned and forgiveness given...in time
D
It;s hard to have hanging over your headm I know, but being the best you can be now is the very best thing you can do.
Trust can be re -earned and forgiveness given...in time
D
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Reality
Posts: 491
can i do my own post? i was 6 days sober and i drank today i just cannot do it im alone and so afraid i want my significant other back im drowning and i dont know how to stop im gone i feel so alone and im afraid
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Hi soberandhealthy - I gave you this link in another thread.
If you need help, please look at the crisis numbers, ok?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
update us when you can, so we know you're ok
D
If you need help, please look at the crisis numbers, ok?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html
update us when you can, so we know you're ok
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 127
Well done on a week salty, as they say every journey starts with a single step.
Thanks for the book recommendation pocket, downloaded it last night and read some this morning.
How are you today Elle?
Day 6 today, this is probably the longest amount of consecutive days since last year. Set off for my holidays this morning and hoping there's some sort of internet access where I'm going so I can check in. Was feeling pretty confident about it but now the day has arrived the apprehension is kicking in.
Thanks for the book recommendation pocket, downloaded it last night and read some this morning.
How are you today Elle?
Day 6 today, this is probably the longest amount of consecutive days since last year. Set off for my holidays this morning and hoping there's some sort of internet access where I'm going so I can check in. Was feeling pretty confident about it but now the day has arrived the apprehension is kicking in.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Capricallia.....have a safe trip. Post when you can ...we will be thinking of you
Soberandhealthy.......I hope you are ok....hugs to you.
Saltybeagle....I know how you feel. I was forever hurting my husband and kids and would want them to forgive me right away...like dee said, "forgiveness given but trust takes time" .. My husband would always say to me, " don't tell me you're sorry, show me " and by not drinking and being a good person the trust came back....eventually. It takes time. That being said, I'm on day 6 but my family does not know that I drank this time..just don't drink ....hugs
Have a great, sober friday everyone xo
Soberandhealthy.......I hope you are ok....hugs to you.
Saltybeagle....I know how you feel. I was forever hurting my husband and kids and would want them to forgive me right away...like dee said, "forgiveness given but trust takes time" .. My husband would always say to me, " don't tell me you're sorry, show me " and by not drinking and being a good person the trust came back....eventually. It takes time. That being said, I'm on day 6 but my family does not know that I drank this time..just don't drink ....hugs
Have a great, sober friday everyone xo
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Viperidae - congrats on 37 days! Join us and inspire us to stay strong in these early days!
Saltybeagle - great job on a week! it may seem hopeless but the very best thing you can do right now is not drink and begin to earn back trust from your family. It will come in time. Each day you choose not to drink is one day closer to having that.
soberandhealthy - I hope that today you will choose not to drink. Dee has provided some wonderful resources, use them. Check back in with us so we know you are ok.
capricallia - yay on 6 days! I believe in you and know you will get through your holiday. Stay busy and close to here is you can. We are here for you.
I had some fleeting thoughts of grabbing beer last night. I can tell the weekend is here. That's my pattern, binge drink 2 - 3 nights starting around Thursday. So it was habitual thinking. Instead, I went to the bookstore and bought a new book. I'm a little nervous for this weekend. Even when I tell myself I'm not going to drink I find myself at the store buying beer. You can plan to see me here a lot over the weekend!
Hope everyone has a great and sober day! Thank you all for being here and posting what you're feeling and the thoughts you are having. It helps so much to know there are others feeling exactly like I do.
Saltybeagle - great job on a week! it may seem hopeless but the very best thing you can do right now is not drink and begin to earn back trust from your family. It will come in time. Each day you choose not to drink is one day closer to having that.
soberandhealthy - I hope that today you will choose not to drink. Dee has provided some wonderful resources, use them. Check back in with us so we know you are ok.
capricallia - yay on 6 days! I believe in you and know you will get through your holiday. Stay busy and close to here is you can. We are here for you.
I had some fleeting thoughts of grabbing beer last night. I can tell the weekend is here. That's my pattern, binge drink 2 - 3 nights starting around Thursday. So it was habitual thinking. Instead, I went to the bookstore and bought a new book. I'm a little nervous for this weekend. Even when I tell myself I'm not going to drink I find myself at the store buying beer. You can plan to see me here a lot over the weekend!
Hope everyone has a great and sober day! Thank you all for being here and posting what you're feeling and the thoughts you are having. It helps so much to know there are others feeling exactly like I do.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 3,241
I'm in for a sober weekend.
kgirl - good choice last night! I started a new book, too.
Soberandhealthy - you DO want this life - just take a look at the screen name you made! I hope you choose to not drink today!
kgirl - good choice last night! I started a new book, too.
Soberandhealthy - you DO want this life - just take a look at the screen name you made! I hope you choose to not drink today!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 551
Sending hugs and happy thoughts to all
The weekends can be very hard for all of us. Has anyone else tried out "the weekender " thread? Very active and supportive group.
Count me in for this 24!!! 🎉💕
Wishing all a great, sober day, wherever u r!
The weekends can be very hard for all of us. Has anyone else tried out "the weekender " thread? Very active and supportive group.
Count me in for this 24!!! 🎉💕
Wishing all a great, sober day, wherever u r!
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Everyone! Join me in an exercise. Go to the mirror and look at yourself. Tell yourself that you are beautiful and strong and WORTHY. Repeat as necessary. Believe it. Because you ARE.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
I have a sober app on my phone and I read this message about being on the Relapse Ladder. I wanted to share it with you all because I feel like knowledge is POWER! If you can identify where you are on the relapse ladder you can TELL ON YOURSELF and get down to a lower rung!
Are you on the relapse ladder
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories . "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were using. The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad ." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault, that your problem was caused by anything except your disease. The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing. The fourth rung is called high risk situations . Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again. The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance . During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top. The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about using for no apparent reason. Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use . This means you intend to use and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my husband is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the Bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out. On the next rung, you actually get the drugs or order the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is...
If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you. So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs. Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
Are you on the relapse ladder
Relapse is at the top of a nine step ladder of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. The lowest rung is called happy memories . "Happy memories" means that you are thinking about the good times you had while you were using. The next rung up is called "I wasn't that bad ." This occurs when you tell yourself you weren't really that bad, that your addiction was someone else's fault, that your problem was caused by anything except your disease. The next rung higher is stopping treatment. This means that you cease going to meetings, you stop practicing the steps, you don't have time to see your therapist, you stop talking to your sponsor, you don't do your daily meditation. When you stop treatment, you pretend that you can stay sober by doing nothing. The fourth rung is called high risk situations . Examples are you return to the bar that you used to frequent, you begin hanging out with your old using friends, you spend long periods of time isolating in the basement where you used to drink vodka. You put yourself in these situations not thinking that you will use there, but just to experience the feeling of being there again. The fifth rung is called, emotional imbalance . During emotional imbalance, something causes you to get really angry, irritated or otherwise emotional and you remember how your drug, drink or behavior took away the pain of the emotion. You may even get really happy and you remember how you always drank to celebrate. Now you are really getting higher on the ladder, and like any ladder, the higher you go, the more dangerous the climb. Also, the higher you go, the more committed you are to reaching the top. The sixth rung is fantasizing. Now, you are spending increasing periods of your day thinking about using for no apparent reason. Fantasizing leads to the seventh rung, getting ready to use . This means you intend to use and you plan how you are going to relapse. You tell yourself that tonight when my husband is asleep, I am going to sneak out to the Bar. You make arrangements to buy drugs. You return to the internet porn site. You get dressed to go to the casino. You think through the exact steps of where you are going to go to get your drugs, drink, or act out. On the next rung, you actually get the drugs or order the drink. You acquire the tools of relapse. On this rung, you may feel a terrible panic, and unless you reach out to someone (which is now incredibly difficult to do because you are so committed to reaching the top), you step up to the final and ninth rung which is Relapse . As you know, the Relapse rung has a crack in it and cannot bear your weight. So you come crashing down. Sometimes the crash happens immediately. Sometimes, the crack worsens over time. But since there is a crack, you will fall. If you survive the fall, you will feel guilt at having relapsed. You will resolve to stop using. And unless you get treatment, you will start the terrible climb back up the relapse ladder beginning with the first rung which is...
If you are on the Relapse Ladder, you need to get off on the lowest rung possible BY TELLING ON YOUR DISEASE! Remember there are two parties involved in a relapse. There is you and there is your disease. If you tell someone that you may be on the Relapse Ladder, you are telling on your disease, not you. So, ask yourself if you are on any of the nine rungs. If so, say to yourself, "I must get off the ladder now" five times to yourself with increasing emphasis. Then pick up the phone and tell your trusted friend, confidant, therapist, or mentor which rung of the ladder you are on and that you want to get off. (Leaving a voicemail message also works). If you can’t connect with someone, read your recovery literature, pray to your Higher Power, write down which rung you are on and list the consequences which made you want to get sober in the first place. Do something recovery oriented and don't substitute your drug of choice with another drug or bad behavior lest you start a new addiction. Then try to connect with a supportive person as soon as possible. This process works regardless of your philosophical or religious beliefs. Remember, sharing with another doesn’t mean that you only reach out when you have a recognizable craving or urge to use. Sharing means that you reach out and discuss where you may be on the Relapse Ladder.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Hi. I'm seeking acceptance to the class of August '16. I'm a little hung over at the moment and I will probably eat fatty crap today but I'd like to set daily goals with a group and for me, today, the goal is to go to sleep sober. I didn't read much of the thread yet but I liked that relapse ladder analogy. That was helpful.
In gratitude
B
In gratitude
B
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 551
Welcome Bex!!
Take care of yourself today, rest, and recharge. Have a good day and night today so you can have an even better tomorrow.
And you're not alone- pretty sure we've all been there. Stay close to SR and post and read often
Hugs!
Take care of yourself today, rest, and recharge. Have a good day and night today so you can have an even better tomorrow.
And you're not alone- pretty sure we've all been there. Stay close to SR and post and read often
Hugs!
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