Class of August 2016 Support Thread Part 1
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
I posted this on the main board, posting here too to share with my classmates.
Where did that girl go? The one who felt normal in rehab?
She didn't have to think, she just did what had to be done without any obsessive thinking. She felt free, light and at peace. She concentrated only on getting better, never letting any thoughts betray her goals. She felt normal. Normal for the first time in eons.
Where did she go? It has been 40 days with no alcohol but the last 10 have not been the new normal. There has been no follow through on distorted thinking, but I want that girl back. She gave recovery 100%. I feel like I am giving 50%. I feel like I am failing without even taking a sip.
Maybe things will be different when I go back to work and there will be less time obsessing. Maybe then I will create a new normal where real life and recovery reside harmoniously together.
Bug
Where did that girl go? The one who felt normal in rehab?
She didn't have to think, she just did what had to be done without any obsessive thinking. She felt free, light and at peace. She concentrated only on getting better, never letting any thoughts betray her goals. She felt normal. Normal for the first time in eons.
Where did she go? It has been 40 days with no alcohol but the last 10 have not been the new normal. There has been no follow through on distorted thinking, but I want that girl back. She gave recovery 100%. I feel like I am giving 50%. I feel like I am failing without even taking a sip.
Maybe things will be different when I go back to work and there will be less time obsessing. Maybe then I will create a new normal where real life and recovery reside harmoniously together.
Bug
Recognising my AV
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South West of England
Posts: 218
Hello NorthernLass, It's so true that it helps to post - i hadn't realised how much. I've been advised often by folk here like Dee and SoberWolf but I get to a stage where I think I've cracked it and can ease off......
This time I'm staying close to this forum and the good folk on it.
As to how to overcome feelings of unhappiness - if you could do that you'd solve all the world's problems, be worth a fortune - but still probably want to celebrate with a drink
so it wouldn't help that one!
Go easy and try not to solve everything today
There's a Buddhist teaching that says that every one has 83 problems. When one is solved another immediately takes its place. The only thing that can be done is remove the 84th problem.....which is the desire to have no problems!
Booze will mask unhappiness for a very short time but will soon heap it back on with interest.
Sorry to ramble on - have a good morning folks - I'll check back in early this afternoon.
This time I'm staying close to this forum and the good folk on it.
As to how to overcome feelings of unhappiness - if you could do that you'd solve all the world's problems, be worth a fortune - but still probably want to celebrate with a drink
so it wouldn't help that one!Go easy and try not to solve everything today
There's a Buddhist teaching that says that every one has 83 problems. When one is solved another immediately takes its place. The only thing that can be done is remove the 84th problem.....which is the desire to have no problems!
Booze will mask unhappiness for a very short time but will soon heap it back on with interest.
Sorry to ramble on - have a good morning folks - I'll check back in early this afternoon.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 127
Morning all, quick check in before I go grocery shopping (and avoid the booze aisle). Lots of fresh fruit and vegetables are my intention today.
Elle I have been known to change into my pyjamas early afternoon as for me that's it and then I know I won't leave the house to go to the shops. Glad you're feeling a lot stronger now.
I have told my partner and family I am staying booze free until Christmas. Gives me a bit of breathing space as to why I'm not drinking. Cited feeling too rough after the weekend and wanting to get back into being healthy. That was a socially acceptable event to hit the drink at (Ireland for you) some friends have declared they are having a dry month now after it. As a result I don't feel like I'm drawing attention to myself.
Loving the positivity on here this morning and I will do as Hendrix says, I commit to not drinking today (or take it hour by hour if I struggle. Have a great day everyone!
Elle I have been known to change into my pyjamas early afternoon as for me that's it and then I know I won't leave the house to go to the shops. Glad you're feeling a lot stronger now.
I have told my partner and family I am staying booze free until Christmas. Gives me a bit of breathing space as to why I'm not drinking. Cited feeling too rough after the weekend and wanting to get back into being healthy. That was a socially acceptable event to hit the drink at (Ireland for you) some friends have declared they are having a dry month now after it. As a result I don't feel like I'm drawing attention to myself.
Loving the positivity on here this morning and I will do as Hendrix says, I commit to not drinking today (or take it hour by hour if I struggle. Have a great day everyone!
Member
Join Date: May 2016
Posts: 270
I was reading on another post re brain fog. Hmm. whats that like? Some have said that after 3 mths the fog lifts. How do you feel after 3 mths sober? I have never gone that long without a drink. I wonder if my poor brain is fogged and it doesn't know it. Hence the low moods and general meh feeling.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 127
Fog lifting for me was almost my body and mind finding it's equilibrium again.
Feeling positive and motivated. Calmer with my kids without all the false highs and crashing lows. Enjoying the little moments. Content with my recovery. Sleeping better, eating better - I lose weight I can't afford to when drinking so that's a big one for me. Memory and concentration better. Anxiety lifting and felt I could cope with stressful situations. All good stuff
Feeling positive and motivated. Calmer with my kids without all the false highs and crashing lows. Enjoying the little moments. Content with my recovery. Sleeping better, eating better - I lose weight I can't afford to when drinking so that's a big one for me. Memory and concentration better. Anxiety lifting and felt I could cope with stressful situations. All good stuff
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by letsdance 
I ate a bunch of pizza tonight! Made me feel a bit better. Lol. Not the best coping mechanism but oh well. Thanks everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
In one of my earlier posts I mentioned how it seems like everyone around me drinks. It's everywhere, always in my face. Yesterday is a great example.
For the past 28 days I have been doing this virtual plank challenge. We started at doing a 30 second plank and yesterday was our final day at 4 minutes. Some of us met at a local park to do the last big one together as a group. Sounds harmless (and healthy), right? We do our 4 minute plank, congratulate each other, talk and laugh. Then of course someone says "Let's go to the bar and celebrate with a drink!". Ugh. No. Sigh.
I said I had homework to do and got the heck out of there. But it's like, really?
Sometimes I wonder f it would be better to announce I am an alcoholic. Do we make things harder on ourselves by hiding this fact? And why do we hide it? Is it shame? Or do we hide it out of hope that we can drink again?
For the past 28 days I have been doing this virtual plank challenge. We started at doing a 30 second plank and yesterday was our final day at 4 minutes. Some of us met at a local park to do the last big one together as a group. Sounds harmless (and healthy), right? We do our 4 minute plank, congratulate each other, talk and laugh. Then of course someone says "Let's go to the bar and celebrate with a drink!". Ugh. No. Sigh.
I said I had homework to do and got the heck out of there. But it's like, really?
Sometimes I wonder f it would be better to announce I am an alcoholic. Do we make things harder on ourselves by hiding this fact? And why do we hide it? Is it shame? Or do we hide it out of hope that we can drink again?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by capricallia
Fog lifting for me was almost my body and mind finding it's equilibrium again.
Feeling positive and motivated. Calmer with my kids without all the false highs and crashing lows. Enjoying the little moments. Content with my recovery. Sleeping better, eating better - I lose weight I can't afford to when drinking so that's a big one for me. Memory and concentration better. Anxiety lifting and felt I could cope with stressful situations. All good stuff
Feeling positive and motivated. Calmer with my kids without all the false highs and crashing lows. Enjoying the little moments. Content with my recovery. Sleeping better, eating better - I lose weight I can't afford to when drinking so that's a big one for me. Memory and concentration better. Anxiety lifting and felt I could cope with stressful situations. All good stuff
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 127
Me too kgirl. I'm sick of feeling depressed, anxious, ashamed and guilty all the time. What triggered you to drink after 11months? For me it was a concert. I knew it was a bad idea to go but I pressed the f-it button.
I honestly don't know if telling people would help me. While it's a falsehood all us Irish are borderline alcoholics, there is still a huge drinking culture and especially binge drinking. I'm not sure they would understand as it's seen as very normal amongst a lot of friends and family to drink quite heavily. My best friend knows I attended AA at one stage but he thinks since I can stop for periods of time (11months last year, 6months the year before and 9 the year before that although I was pregnant with the latter) that there's no problem.
I honestly don't know if telling people would help me. While it's a falsehood all us Irish are borderline alcoholics, there is still a huge drinking culture and especially binge drinking. I'm not sure they would understand as it's seen as very normal amongst a lot of friends and family to drink quite heavily. My best friend knows I attended AA at one stage but he thinks since I can stop for periods of time (11months last year, 6months the year before and 9 the year before that although I was pregnant with the latter) that there's no problem.
A Smart Bug is a Sober Bug!
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Hot and Muggy South Florida
Posts: 1,396
Originally Posted by capricallia
Me too kgirl. I'm sick of feeling depressed, anxious, ashamed and guilty all the time. What triggered you to drink after 11months? For me it was a concert. I knew it was a bad idea to go but I pressed the f-it button.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 127
Yep and what happened at that concert? I got so blind drunk before it I fell asleep in the toilets and then couldn't find my way into the venue doors we had gone through and missed the whole thing. Lost my coat with a load of money in, thankfully some lovely honest person handed in it. Wonderful night eh? Not one for drunk stories usually but shows the alcoholic mind at work that still I fooled myself this time could be different. Would be funny if it wasn't so tragic.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Welcome northernlass and city,
Morning on day 3. Sunny and warm here on Long Island. I kept busy yesterday and plan on the same today. Checking in with SR also helps keep me grounded.
Hendrix ...and the rest of you who talked about alcohol and depression are sooo right. It makes things and your perception of things, so much more distorted.
Bronzie...congrats on day 8....glad you're here.
Capricallia.....I would really think things through if you tell people you're an alcoholic...I had 7 years sober in the past and Initially told people I was an alcoholic. It became a bigger issue to explain and some people told others. They said stuff to my kids...ugh
Now, I just tell them, "I'm not drinking, trying to get healthy" or " some other health issues going on and I had to take alcohol out of the mix" I was quite surprised At how people just excepted that explanation and leave it alone.
One new friend recently said , don't tell me you don't drink or something?" And I answered, "I have some health issues going on but I'm still lots of fun and always a designated driver" she responded "health issues re always a pass" I was shocked how easy...
Just a suggestion to be cautious who you actually tell because it alcoholism carries a stigma...I've been burned.
Happy sober Tuesday all
Morning on day 3. Sunny and warm here on Long Island. I kept busy yesterday and plan on the same today. Checking in with SR also helps keep me grounded.
Hendrix ...and the rest of you who talked about alcohol and depression are sooo right. It makes things and your perception of things, so much more distorted.
Bronzie...congrats on day 8....glad you're here.
Capricallia.....I would really think things through if you tell people you're an alcoholic...I had 7 years sober in the past and Initially told people I was an alcoholic. It became a bigger issue to explain and some people told others. They said stuff to my kids...ugh
Now, I just tell them, "I'm not drinking, trying to get healthy" or " some other health issues going on and I had to take alcohol out of the mix" I was quite surprised At how people just excepted that explanation and leave it alone.
One new friend recently said , don't tell me you don't drink or something?" And I answered, "I have some health issues going on but I'm still lots of fun and always a designated driver" she responded "health issues re always a pass" I was shocked how easy...
Just a suggestion to be cautious who you actually tell because it alcoholism carries a stigma...I've been burned.
Happy sober Tuesday all
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Iowa
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by capricallia
Me too kgirl. I'm sick of feeling depressed, anxious, ashamed and guilty all the time. What triggered you to drink after 11months? For me it was a concert. I knew it was a bad idea to go but I pressed the f-it button.
I honestly don't know if telling people would help me. While it's a falsehood all us Irish are borderline alcoholics, there is still a huge drinking culture and especially binge drinking. I'm not sure they would understand as it's seen as very normal amongst a lot of friends and family to drink quite heavily. My best friend knows I attended AA at one stage but he thinks since I can stop for periods of time (11months last year, 6months the year before and 9 the year before that although I was pregnant with the latter) that there's no problem.
I honestly don't know if telling people would help me. While it's a falsehood all us Irish are borderline alcoholics, there is still a huge drinking culture and especially binge drinking. I'm not sure they would understand as it's seen as very normal amongst a lot of friends and family to drink quite heavily. My best friend knows I attended AA at one stage but he thinks since I can stop for periods of time (11months last year, 6months the year before and 9 the year before that although I was pregnant with the latter) that there's no problem.
I can so relate to making the decision to drink for a concert, or a wedding, or whatever the social event is. Then you end up drunk and realizing your AV fooled you again. Alcoholism/addiction is the worst and I just want to be done with it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: London
Posts: 512
I totally agree with Lovehoops on the anonymity thing. The only people who know I suffer from this illness are close friends, family and people I meet in recovery. As they say "gossip kills" and people in the outside world can be very judgemental. There are also the so called friends who will try to convince you you are not an alcoholic.... I had a friend who was a doctor tell me that 11years ago when I first walked into the rooms of AA. Jeez if only I had not listened but naturally I jumped at the chance to believe I was "normal", many lessons later I walked back in a broken woman.. If there is one thing I know for sure, absolutely and totally, I am an alcoholic and I cannot pick up a drink, one day at a time. Elle
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 127
Well done on day one NorthernLass, hope you sleep well.
Thank you for sharing your experiences Lovehoops and Elle, it's reaffirmed why I was dubious about telling people. I have only told my very best friend of many years that I trust implicitly and he pooh-poohed it anyway. I can't really blame him for that as I hide it a lot and he doesn't know the half of it. I don't even go to the AA in my home town but the one several towns away. My main concern would be as I'm a parent, official agencies being involved if it became common knowledge. Not worth the risk.
Shopping done, bottle of wine that was lurking in the cupboard given away and a nice healthy dinner of vegetable stir fry. Feeling ok with everything today. Still nervous about the impending holiday - told my parents I was off it for a while, their answer 'sure wait until after your holiday'. Argh!
Thank you for sharing your experiences Lovehoops and Elle, it's reaffirmed why I was dubious about telling people. I have only told my very best friend of many years that I trust implicitly and he pooh-poohed it anyway. I can't really blame him for that as I hide it a lot and he doesn't know the half of it. I don't even go to the AA in my home town but the one several towns away. My main concern would be as I'm a parent, official agencies being involved if it became common knowledge. Not worth the risk.
Shopping done, bottle of wine that was lurking in the cupboard given away and a nice healthy dinner of vegetable stir fry. Feeling ok with everything today. Still nervous about the impending holiday - told my parents I was off it for a while, their answer 'sure wait until after your holiday'. Argh!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 50
Originally Posted by Elle126
Well done on day 8 Forward. I'm feeling really low today..... Too frightened to leave the house in case I get booze
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