kgirl41

capricallia - that's exactly it. I see the posts with smiles and fun and I think, why can they and not me? It's so easy to forget that FB is a highlight reel, I can't afford comparing my life to another's highlights. It's just to dangerous for me right now. I also get overly concerned with people liking me and accepting me. FB just causes to many negative emotions and triggers for me. I need to focus on me and being positive!

Gretel123

Welcome to all the new classmates Stay close by. This thread is a great place for sharing and support. We are here for you!
I wish there was a way we could schedule chatroom meetings. But I know we are all over the globe so timing would be hard.

Today makes day 8 for me, and while I haven't had what I would really call "cravings" I have had thoughts about "wow I will never get to do xyz again"--like, going out drinking with friends, getting toasted at family gatherings, etc. It doesn't necessarily make me want to, but it's kind of like a farewell to those times. So this has led me to think of starting a list.

I'm going to make a pro and con list. All the pros of staying sober--never getting a hangover, being clear headed, saving money, losing weight, etcetc. And the cons of drinking--being sick, acting a fool, spending way too much money, the health effects, etc. And I will add to the list as I think of things. This way if I ever get "nostalgic" for the booze, I can remind myself.

Over the last 3 years while attempting to get sober, I have isolated myself from most of my friends anyway, so avoiding that won't be a huge issue for me. But, I have been thinking on and worrying about how to handle family gatherings. My father's side of the family all love to drink. I can't really remember a time I wasn't drinking while with them (after turning 21 of course)--so most of my adult life hah. Some of my favorite times were visiting my dad in the country and drinking beer with him all day. I actually haven't visited in a while, so I know this issue is going to come up soon. I think I will just have to tell him what I'm doing and that I just can't be around it right now. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it of course, but it's just been on my mind for a couple of days now. Any advice would be appreciated if you have had a similar situation. It's not like a one time event, but every time I will have to see him.

kgirl41

Hi Gretel I can totally relate. I grew up in a family where everyone is a big drinker. My dad still is and whenever I go visit him the first thing he asks is if I want a beer. And here's the thing, I love to hang out and drink with my dad. But I get soooo drunk when I am with him because we feed off of eachother. And really, is that even healthy? I think of my children and I would never want to get them so drunk they were sick. So all of that drinking with my dad is both of us feeding off of each other in our addiction. It's sad really.
I remember having some sober time and visiting my dad. I made some excuse about taking a break for health reasons. He didn't push too much but I probably should have been a little more honest with him about it. All well, it got me through that moment

capricallia

Totally agree kgirl. My friend and I were discussing that last night, how everyone is so 'blessed' and happy, perfect lives and relationships on it. It's not an insight into how real lives are and can make you feel insecure and not good enough if you compare your own sometimes.


I wouldn't want to get rid of it as I have one friend on it that is two years sober and one fifteen years. I like to see their posts as I find them inspiring but on the other hand spending a lot of time on social media can bring you down. Not what you need in the early days.

capricallia

Hi Gretel I sympathise too. I actually have to face that hurdle at the end of the week as I'm away on holiday with my parents. My mum loves her wine and has already mentioned a few times about how we can go to the bar at lunch and leave the kids with my dad. Feeling really nervous about it as it can be quite enabling behaviour, trying not to worry too much until it actually happens. Sorry I don't have any advise but you're not the only one.

Gretel123

kgirl that sounds just like me and my dad. I think we also fed off of each other. My sister doesn't drink like us, so I was the "fun" daughter. But you're right, it isn't really healthy. Beer is like the family tradition..and if I'm honest it does make me a little sad that I'll never get to have fun like that with him again. But I will have to retrain my thinking and try to get joy with them in other, real ways, instead of relying on alcohol to make the fun for us.

He knows about my past attempts to quit drinking, but I would relapse and just minimize it next time I was over and tell him it was no big deal. I guess part of me fears telling anyone (I haven't told anyone about this time) because I don't want to relapse and disappoint or give them the "i knew you couldn't do it" thoughts. I also am slightly superstitious so I feel like when I talk about it with people in my life, it dooms me to failure lol.

Gretel123

capricallia, it is hard isn't it! I hope you're able to make a plan before you leave. I'd hate for you to be in the situation and not know how to react or feel weak and give in. I'm wishing you luck!

capricallia

They know I go on 'health kicks' every once in a while. Well that's what I let them believe, not I'm trying to get sober so I plan to bring my running gear even though I haven't been out running in months. Luckily my sister is going too and she rarely drinks so I know she'll be my backup if I stick with her. There's lots of activities centred around kids, plenty to do which I'm hoping will work in my favour.

soberjim

I would like to join the August group. I joined last February and made it 30 days. I find that once I hit that 30 day mark I tend to let myself think it is ok to moderate again.

It isn't. So i am on day 1 and determined to go 30 days, and beyond this time.


Jim

kgirl41

Welcome Jim

lovehoops

Welcome Jim and miaG,

Those struggling with family drinking....my parents have since passed but I can understaNd . My mom was a stay at home drunk (exactly what I became) who turned every evening dinner into a nightmare. It was the big "elephant in the room"
I am determined to change that. Even though my kids are adults (22, 21 &18) and they know I have struggled the past few years, I can't be what my mom was. It sucked!

Out for some sunshine...enjoy the day all

bronzie

Hey everyone! I was in the July group, but I drank on July 31, so now I'm back and going on day 8. I made it thru the weekend, no alcohol since August 1st, and I am feeling okay. I have moments everyday where I think about going to get a drink, but I just push through and find something else productive to do! Been checking in here each day, and just thought I would say hello and hope everyone is doing well.

letsdance

Well i drank. I just couldn't take it anymore. I felt so off so i figured what the heck might as well drink. Feel horrible. was up all night with a headache and feeling just awful. So day 1 for me.

lovehoops

Hi bronze...I was in July group as well and on day 2 here in August!!

Welcome letsdance...keep posting..SR is great support.

We can do this together!!

Hammers

Hi,
Last time I drank was August 5th.
Roll on day four. Waking up feeling
reasonably ok and not hungover!!

Good luck and courage to everyone!!!

Nicholas..

kgirl41

Welcome Bronzie! Kudos on Day 8 and a weekend free of alcohol. I sure hope I am saying the same thing next Monday!

kgirl41

Hi Hammers, welcome and kudos on Day 4. Keep on, keeping on!

Dee74

welcome Mia bronzie and soberjim

what stopped you from posting here for help letsdance?

D

capricallia

Hi Bronzie, Jim and Mia. Hope you're ok letsdance??

Nearing the end of day two here as I'm in the UK. I have a full bottle of wine downstairs and was sorely tempted tonight. Total madness considering how awful I felt yesterday and how I still have paranoia about my liver! First thing tomorrow I'm giving it away, far too risky to keep it in the house.

Going to bring my kindle and reread all my sober books on holiday so one more plan of something to do.

letsdance

Hi, thanks for asking. I am not doing so well actually. Lots of self loathing. I just feel like such a failure. But that is for a whole another post. Think i need to post in mental health section. I am just a mess.
I am reading a book right now about women in recovery but think i need to find some new ones of my kindle too. Anyway here's to staying sober. Good luck.