Class of June 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Texas
Posts: 134
So it's still one day at a time. Each day for itself. But just one thought about those boundaries. Day by day, I reach 60 days in less than a month now. Two months. That will be my longest stretch without drinking, ever. Or at least since the last year of high school. That's pretty much ever. Wow - no wonder all the colors seem so bright.
I look young for my age.
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 932
Soberforme, do you have any other activities besides drinking that you enjoy doing together? If not now, then in the past? Maybe if you started doing those again on your own, he would be motivated to engage in them with you?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 118
Middle of day 25. I'm feeling pretty good. Got my insurance payments cut in half. Doing responsible adult things. Have to watch myself, I'm feeling pretty confident these past couple of days about not wanting a drink, and that's dangerous.
Daughter is aggravating me. She's not doing what I think she should be doing, and that's my problem. Keeping that opinion to myself. Gotta have a little faith.
Daughter is aggravating me. She's not doing what I think she should be doing, and that's my problem. Keeping that opinion to myself. Gotta have a little faith.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Originally Posted by CuteNGayYay 
Happy Birthday JL.
Post 50 times a day if u need to Soberforme. I've been in classes where people did. You never know when your venting is exactly what a fellow classmate is going through or someone just passing by. The last thing u should feel is lame for having almost 40 days. After all you're doing this for YOU. Hence your member name
. Have you noticed your kids having any kind of reactions to your not drinking? Maybe your husband isn t bored with you.. He might actually be envious. Happy Friday all!!!!
Post 50 times a day if u need to Soberforme. I've been in classes where people did. You never know when your venting is exactly what a fellow classmate is going through or someone just passing by. The last thing u should feel is lame for having almost 40 days. After all you're doing this for YOU. Hence your member name
. Have you noticed your kids having any kind of reactions to your not drinking? Maybe your husband isn t bored with you.. He might actually be envious. Happy Friday all!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 159
You guys are exactly right!!! I was feeling pretty crappy earlier but it's 9pm and no drinking for me! Another Friday night sober and feeling good about it! Thank you all for helping me this evening!!! Heading to bed now...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: London
Posts: 201
Apologies guys, been busy up a ladder with a paintbrush in my hand, getting the house ready to sell. Day 25 and still sober.
Hope you had a great sober birthday JL
OH TO BE IN MY FORTIES AGAIN
Soberforme, I guess it's hard when you stop drinking, there seems so much more time in a day. At the moment I am busy painting and sorting out but Lord knows how I shall fill my time when this is all over. Husband coming over tomorrow morning (that's Sunday in the UK) , not seen him since Thursday, when we went for a walk. I am convinced he has serious mental issues! He just acts like we are dating - I become more convinced as days go by that he had doubts whether he wanted to live with someone let alone marry them. I guess our first wedding anniversary on 28/08 will be spent apart or maybe he will take me out for a 'date'. Three weeks ago I felt so lonely and torn but now as time goes by I am enjoying my time alone, obviously there are still tears but with my clear sober head I am able to look at things in a more objective manner.
At the beginning of this I was so angry with myself for starting to drink in 2007, after 4 years of sobriety, but I can't turn the clock back and I just need to keep hold of the knowledge that I can not be a social drinker. My last period of sobriety ended my marriage because he didn't want to change and continued to drink heavily (he still does) and I became a strong woman and I can feel that happening again but if my husband can not cope with that then I am once again with the wrong person. Maybe there is no right person for me but I am no longer scared of being alone because I quite like me at the moment. At least I know any decision or actions I take are with a clear head and not influenced by a alcohol fuddled brain
Happy sober weekend everyone and if you have some time on your hands you could always bring a paintbrush over x
Hope you had a great sober birthday JL
OH TO BE IN MY FORTIES AGAIN
Soberforme, I guess it's hard when you stop drinking, there seems so much more time in a day. At the moment I am busy painting and sorting out but Lord knows how I shall fill my time when this is all over. Husband coming over tomorrow morning (that's Sunday in the UK) , not seen him since Thursday, when we went for a walk. I am convinced he has serious mental issues! He just acts like we are dating - I become more convinced as days go by that he had doubts whether he wanted to live with someone let alone marry them. I guess our first wedding anniversary on 28/08 will be spent apart or maybe he will take me out for a 'date'. Three weeks ago I felt so lonely and torn but now as time goes by I am enjoying my time alone, obviously there are still tears but with my clear sober head I am able to look at things in a more objective manner.
At the beginning of this I was so angry with myself for starting to drink in 2007, after 4 years of sobriety, but I can't turn the clock back and I just need to keep hold of the knowledge that I can not be a social drinker. My last period of sobriety ended my marriage because he didn't want to change and continued to drink heavily (he still does) and I became a strong woman and I can feel that happening again but if my husband can not cope with that then I am once again with the wrong person. Maybe there is no right person for me but I am no longer scared of being alone because I quite like me at the moment. At least I know any decision or actions I take are with a clear head and not influenced by a alcohol fuddled brain
Happy sober weekend everyone and if you have some time on your hands you could always bring a paintbrush over x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,448
Starting day 27
Yesterday would have been a good day for me not to leave bed. A good example of trying to do too many things and getting nothing done in the process. Oh well, I stayed sober and level headed though it and laughed about things before going to bed. Pro tip: don't start filling the tub then go do something else.
My posting will be erratic or stopped for the next week unless cell coverage has improved where I'm camping. I might head to town over or twice the keep in contact, but if I'm silent, I'm still sober and ok. :-)
I'll be 42 is November, seems to be the median age for our class. I remember realizing I had a problem back in my 20s. I considered quitting drinking completely back then as well, but I was back drinking on the first Friday night. I guess I have the self confidence now to stick to my decision that I never had when I was young.
Glad you can stay sober despite what is going on with your husband JG. Things will sort themselves out in the long run relationship wise. Being ok with being alone for periods of time takes time but is important I think. My kids are young so when I divorced in 2010, it was the first time I was completely alone in a long time (no wife/gf or kids). It's hard but it's also a chance to rediscover yourself. Being uncomfortable isn't always a bad thing.
Yesterday would have been a good day for me not to leave bed. A good example of trying to do too many things and getting nothing done in the process. Oh well, I stayed sober and level headed though it and laughed about things before going to bed. Pro tip: don't start filling the tub then go do something else.
My posting will be erratic or stopped for the next week unless cell coverage has improved where I'm camping. I might head to town over or twice the keep in contact, but if I'm silent, I'm still sober and ok. :-)
I'll be 42 is November, seems to be the median age for our class. I remember realizing I had a problem back in my 20s. I considered quitting drinking completely back then as well, but I was back drinking on the first Friday night. I guess I have the self confidence now to stick to my decision that I never had when I was young.
Glad you can stay sober despite what is going on with your husband JG. Things will sort themselves out in the long run relationship wise. Being ok with being alone for periods of time takes time but is important I think. My kids are young so when I divorced in 2010, it was the first time I was completely alone in a long time (no wife/gf or kids). It's hard but it's also a chance to rediscover yourself. Being uncomfortable isn't always a bad thing.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Wow, JG...it sounds like you're finding so much clarity in sobriety, which is amazing. I didn't realize you had been sober for FOUR years (!) previously, that is something to build on for sure!
Day 50. 50! That seems like a lot, for some reason. I'm definitely starting to feel more "normal" as time passes, which is a big deal because alcoholic drinking had definitely become my twisted "normal," which made sobriety seem unnatural and wrong for a long time. I definitely still have moments when I feel completely off, restless and at loose ends, but I also see glimmers of hope.
Yesterday was a busy day, but in a good way. I'm constantly reflecting on my kids, and how a sober mom has the potential to change their childhood for the better. I'm realizing that since my own parents drank throughout my entire life, they (especially my mom) were somewhat emotionally unavailable even though we had all the physical elements of a great life, if that makes any sense. My mom did a LOT for us, she cooked amazing meals, was always the room parent and volunteered at school, bought us nice clothes, etc., but after a certain point in the evening, she was...gone. The wine just took over. It still does.
It's a beautiful morning here, and I have a lot to do, but I need to keep reminding myself to BE, and enjoy moments as they come. I hope everyone has a great, sober day today.
Day 50. 50! That seems like a lot, for some reason. I'm definitely starting to feel more "normal" as time passes, which is a big deal because alcoholic drinking had definitely become my twisted "normal," which made sobriety seem unnatural and wrong for a long time. I definitely still have moments when I feel completely off, restless and at loose ends, but I also see glimmers of hope.
Yesterday was a busy day, but in a good way. I'm constantly reflecting on my kids, and how a sober mom has the potential to change their childhood for the better. I'm realizing that since my own parents drank throughout my entire life, they (especially my mom) were somewhat emotionally unavailable even though we had all the physical elements of a great life, if that makes any sense. My mom did a LOT for us, she cooked amazing meals, was always the room parent and volunteered at school, bought us nice clothes, etc., but after a certain point in the evening, she was...gone. The wine just took over. It still does.
It's a beautiful morning here, and I have a lot to do, but I need to keep reminding myself to BE, and enjoy moments as they come. I hope everyone has a great, sober day today.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 159
Day 40 for Me!
I made it, yesterday was one of the tough ones but I got through it. yay!!!
Maybe I have issues but I tested my strength yesterday because my daughter stayed at my inlaws and my son and his friend went to our local mall to hang. My husband wanted to go to dinner and knew I needed to pick the boys up from the mall so he chose a place to eat at the mall. Of course he chose Razoos and sat at a table in the bar. I enjoyed watching everyone drink and drink and drink until they all got louder and louder and sloppy. If anything, it helped me realize that the Sprite I was drinking was perfect for me, even though it's uncomfortable ordering that in a bar but whatever.
I had A talk with my husband lastnight about why I won't even drink one beer. I realize that one is never enough for me, I was drinking at my daughters baptism, my sons 13th birthday we were all drunk and partying, then came my daughters 8th birthday on 6/5th... Notice the date in my username. I quit the day after her birthday! I explained to him that I never actually hit rock bottom but I was heading that way. I didn't lose my job or get a DWI but I personally knew I woke up every morning with this sense of guilt from drinking the day before which was every single day. I was slipping and slipping faster than ever. I have a lot on my plate , I work full time have rental property I have to manage, take care of my own home, kids and their soccer stuff. My daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia so she is in therapy three days a week to help her before she starts second grade. My husband is pretty much just there. He works a lot and leaves often to go hunting while I stay home and handle everything. I've always been pretty independent and take charge of everything but I'm kind of tired of dealing with it all. He's kind of lazy and relies on me to take care of everything instead of him manning up and handling things, I fired the lawn service the other day at the rental property because they were doing a crappy job. He hasn't said a word about taking care of the grass over there so I guess I'll have to find a new service or take his truck and the mower myself. Im starting to feel resentful and not quite sure how long I can stay quiet. Sobriety has cleared my mind and is changing me back into the person I'm supposed to be. I kind of like her a lot! Lol sorry about my rambling, this board is my outlet.
Happy sober Saturday everyone!
Maybe I have issues but I tested my strength yesterday because my daughter stayed at my inlaws and my son and his friend went to our local mall to hang. My husband wanted to go to dinner and knew I needed to pick the boys up from the mall so he chose a place to eat at the mall. Of course he chose Razoos and sat at a table in the bar. I enjoyed watching everyone drink and drink and drink until they all got louder and louder and sloppy. If anything, it helped me realize that the Sprite I was drinking was perfect for me, even though it's uncomfortable ordering that in a bar but whatever.
I had A talk with my husband lastnight about why I won't even drink one beer. I realize that one is never enough for me, I was drinking at my daughters baptism, my sons 13th birthday we were all drunk and partying, then came my daughters 8th birthday on 6/5th... Notice the date in my username. I quit the day after her birthday! I explained to him that I never actually hit rock bottom but I was heading that way. I didn't lose my job or get a DWI but I personally knew I woke up every morning with this sense of guilt from drinking the day before which was every single day. I was slipping and slipping faster than ever. I have a lot on my plate , I work full time have rental property I have to manage, take care of my own home, kids and their soccer stuff. My daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia so she is in therapy three days a week to help her before she starts second grade. My husband is pretty much just there. He works a lot and leaves often to go hunting while I stay home and handle everything. I've always been pretty independent and take charge of everything but I'm kind of tired of dealing with it all. He's kind of lazy and relies on me to take care of everything instead of him manning up and handling things, I fired the lawn service the other day at the rental property because they were doing a crappy job. He hasn't said a word about taking care of the grass over there so I guess I'll have to find a new service or take his truck and the mower myself. Im starting to feel resentful and not quite sure how long I can stay quiet. Sobriety has cleared my mind and is changing me back into the person I'm supposed to be. I kind of like her a lot! Lol sorry about my rambling, this board is my outlet.
Happy sober Saturday everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Texas
Posts: 159
Originally Posted by luvmygirls
Wow, JG...it sounds like you're finding so much clarity in sobriety, which is amazing. I didn't realize you had been sober for FOUR years (!) previously, that is something to build on for sure!
Day 50. 50! That seems like a lot, for some reason. I'm definitely starting to feel more "normal" as time passes, which is a big deal because alcoholic drinking had definitely become my twisted "normal," which made sobriety seem unnatural and wrong for a long time. I definitely still have moments when I feel completely off, restless and at loose ends, but I also see glimmers of hope.
Yesterday was a busy day, but in a good way. I'm constantly reflecting on my kids, and how a sober mom has the potential to change their childhood for the better. I'm realizing that since my own parents drank throughout my entire life, they (especially my mom) were somewhat emotionally unavailable even though we had all the physical elements of a great life, if that makes any sense. My mom did a LOT for us, she cooked amazing meals, was always the room parent and volunteered at school, bought us nice clothes, etc., but after a certain point in the evening, she was...gone. The wine just took over. It still does.
It's a beautiful morning here, and I have a lot to do, but I need to keep reminding myself to BE, and enjoy moments as they come. I hope everyone has a great, sober day today.
Day 50. 50! That seems like a lot, for some reason. I'm definitely starting to feel more "normal" as time passes, which is a big deal because alcoholic drinking had definitely become my twisted "normal," which made sobriety seem unnatural and wrong for a long time. I definitely still have moments when I feel completely off, restless and at loose ends, but I also see glimmers of hope.
Yesterday was a busy day, but in a good way. I'm constantly reflecting on my kids, and how a sober mom has the potential to change their childhood for the better. I'm realizing that since my own parents drank throughout my entire life, they (especially my mom) were somewhat emotionally unavailable even though we had all the physical elements of a great life, if that makes any sense. My mom did a LOT for us, she cooked amazing meals, was always the room parent and volunteered at school, bought us nice clothes, etc., but after a certain point in the evening, she was...gone. The wine just took over. It still does.
It's a beautiful morning here, and I have a lot to do, but I need to keep reminding myself to BE, and enjoy moments as they come. I hope everyone has a great, sober day today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 82
I am here but having a rough go of it. Had a rough situation come up at work last week, well chapter 2 of an ongoing situation, I am in the middle of it and I can't get into details but our lawyers are involved, so it is all kind of scary for me.
They are supporting me in dealing with this matter but I'm still scared. This situation is partly why I was drinking so much since January. It;s been on a pause for the last two months and I got my feet back on the ground and stopped drinking but now it's starting up again.
I don't want to drink but not sure I can make it through the day.
The thing too is this situation just goes on and on and on. It feels like it will never be resolved. I keep hanging on and hanging on and kit just keeps going. Like everything moves so slowly.
Sorry for dumping this here.
They are supporting me in dealing with this matter but I'm still scared. This situation is partly why I was drinking so much since January. It;s been on a pause for the last two months and I got my feet back on the ground and stopped drinking but now it's starting up again.
I don't want to drink but not sure I can make it through the day.
The thing too is this situation just goes on and on and on. It feels like it will never be resolved. I keep hanging on and hanging on and kit just keeps going. Like everything moves so slowly.
Sorry for dumping this here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Western New York
Posts: 2,448
Sorry Milly you are having such a hard time at work. Nothing we can do to change the past, but I hope it all works out. Drinking certainly won't help!
Soberforme and luvmygirls, I can relate as a Dad. I always was involved in my kids activities, volenteered in cub scouts, read to them every night when they were little , went to every scool event and concert, etc. But I also drank every night. They've gone to bed many nights with me passed out or I've left my beer in their bedroom saying goodnight. I think they know my drinking is a problem and I don't want to miss what's left of there childhood by drinking!
Soberforme and luvmygirls, I can relate as a Dad. I always was involved in my kids activities, volenteered in cub scouts, read to them every night when they were little , went to every scool event and concert, etc. But I also drank every night. They've gone to bed many nights with me passed out or I've left my beer in their bedroom saying goodnight. I think they know my drinking is a problem and I don't want to miss what's left of there childhood by drinking!
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
nmd and soberforme, I'm the same: room parent for both kids, lovely home, blah blah blah, you name it. In the end, even all THAT started to unravel, and I knew I had to stop. I'm not sure my kids could "name" my problem as alcohol, but they definitely experienced negative impacts, no doubt about it. 
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Originally Posted by callmemilly
This situation is partly why I was drinking so much since January.
I don't want to drink but not sure I can make it through the day.
I don't want to drink but not sure I can make it through the day.
Basically your addiction is trying to set you up/give you an excuse to drink again. You know better than to fall for it....that's why the good/sober part of your mind came here to tell us about the situation. Listen to it and listen to the good things/people here have to say about staying sober.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Luvmygirls, I had a similar upbringing by parents who drank. My mother was a daily drinker and I don't think I saw her without a drink past 5pm since I was about 12 years old. Like you said, in the evenings she was just gone...a completely different person. Family vacations were horrible because my mom was a crabby, belligerent drunk and being stuck in a hotel with that was torture.
day 57. I feel ready to step things up and start the job search. The last 5 years, maintaining employment has been a struggle. I've been fired from 3 jobs because I couldn't stay sober. I couldn't stay sober during job searching either and went to interviews after having visited the pub first. One particular interview was especially bad because I was sweating profusely from alcohol withdrawal. I can either work or I can drink. I can't do both. I feel I can now give 100% effort to getting my career back on track without it being derailed by my drinking again.
day 57. I feel ready to step things up and start the job search. The last 5 years, maintaining employment has been a struggle. I've been fired from 3 jobs because I couldn't stay sober. I couldn't stay sober during job searching either and went to interviews after having visited the pub first. One particular interview was especially bad because I was sweating profusely from alcohol withdrawal. I can either work or I can drink. I can't do both. I feel I can now give 100% effort to getting my career back on track without it being derailed by my drinking again.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 118
Originally Posted by ScottFromWI
Sorry to hear of your continued struggles at work. It's very important for you to remember that the situation isn't WHY you were drinking so much. You were drinking because you are an alcoholic. Drinking did not, and will not solve your issues at work. It will make them worse actually. And you've made it through many days sober, so you can absolutely make or through today too.
Basically your addiction is trying to set you up/give you an excuse to drink again. You know better than to fall for it....that's why the good/sober part of your mind came here to tell us about the situation. Listen to it and listen to the good things/people here have to say about staying sober.
Basically your addiction is trying to set you up/give you an excuse to drink again. You know better than to fall for it....that's why the good/sober part of your mind came here to tell us about the situation. Listen to it and listen to the good things/people here have to say about staying sober.
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
Originally Posted by Disonant
Nicely said scott. For everybody.
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