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Class of December 2015 Pt 4

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Old 01-23-2016, 05:27 AM
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Class of December 2015 Pt 4

last part here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...pt-3-a-20.html

D
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Old 01-23-2016, 06:29 AM
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I am also going out tonight with friends who will be drinking. I am not sure if there are any official strategies, but I can share mine which work for me:

- bring your own drinks. I am a drinker (drink everything quickly -coffee, wine, whatever) so I make sure I bring ample supply of something I like (iced tea, diet Sprite) and make sure I am always topped up.

- candy. Somehow gob stoppers, tootsie pops, and sour patch kids make everything better.

- games. I do much better when there is something that keeps me focused so I usually bring a few games. Luckily our friends usually like to play games so this works for me.

Love to hear others' strategies.
Day 48
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Old 01-23-2016, 06:57 AM
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Morning! Day 9 checking in.

Last night I was SO bored sitting around watching TV with the missus. It felt like work or something. I didn't feel like drinking or going out, just doing something else besides watching TV. This morning I'm feeling good, albeit kinda of light headed and dreamy. Today is day 6 of tapering down my meds, so that might be adding to it as well. Waiting for the missus to wake up so we can plan our day and go do something fun. Feel like going on an adventure or something and not sit at home all day...I can do that tomorrow

Vinificent: I'm sorry to hear about how you feel with your relationship dynamic. I feel like that must make things a bit harder for you. Reading that made me put myself in your shoes, and made me grateful that my fiancee has quit with me and is all about this new life. I feel like perhaps it makes it harder for you to feel a sense of guilt because you've quit drinking and are working on a new life.

EDIT: Sorry I wanted to say that you should talk to him and work on getting this resolved. I'm sure you have in the past, but reading that made me feel like it's still a real point of contention in your relationship. If you are to move forward, I feel like you need the full support of your mate. Just my 2 cents

Much love everyone!
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Old 01-23-2016, 07:19 AM
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33 days sober today. Just got in from being at a meeting earlier and then out for coffee and lunch with my girlfriend.

My AV started to kick in a bit this afternoon especially at the train station when I saw groups of friends all heading out to the city for the night. Unfortunately it kind of brought back that 'feel good' weekend type of feel I used to get before going out drinking with my friends. This is the second weekend on the run that my AV has tried to edge its way into my mind but luckily I know it's a complete illusion. Those type of drinking days were many years ago for me and I was not a social drinker really for a long time and most of my old friends had given up on me because of my drinking. The reality is that I would have been extremely drunk in a very short time, feeling depressed and hopeless once again. I would risk making myself very ill and potentially end up in some sort of trouble. I would definitely greatly upset all my family, girlfriend and friends if I did drink. I would be stuck in the cycle of binging and destroying my life again. I could end up homeless, disowned by my family and my girlfriend would leave me. I wouldn't be able to work.

I'm feeling a little weak right now, even as I type that, but I know this will pass soon and I will be extremely grateful that I didn't pick up when I wake tomorrow. I tried to phone my sponsor but couldn't get through, but I am tired so going to have short nap and hopefully wake feeling better.

I can get through today sober and drinking will not improve my day in any way,.
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Old 01-23-2016, 09:27 AM
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Good day folks hope everyone is doing well.

Weather is nasty here, but just rain and cold .. maybe a little snow again later but won't be any accumulation. edit: snowing now ..

I looked at a calendar and I actually have 25 days being I think I was up late that last day into the next. Still in the right class though HA HA .. and feeling good.

I did make the mistake of going to the newcomers section first this morning and reading a few threads of people that gave in last night and even some that were posting this morning while drinking. Not what I need to hear. I got a bit out of sorts there for a bit.

But that section is for people to be welcomed and such no matter what they have going on. I then found some positive threads by those that did not give in and some other positive things.

And ya know, if I had joined 2 months earlier it might of been me posting like that or I might of gotten sober earlier.

I think I will check in here first from now on.
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Old 01-23-2016, 10:02 AM
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Haha yes Jenses Sour patch kids are a great savior for me too. Starting a low carb diet Monday though so I have to say bye to those for now. I real.y want to lose some weight before spring/summer so it's time. What's good too is I can tell people now (The ones who don't know) I'm not drinking because of that. . Happy Weekend all!
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Old 01-23-2016, 05:33 PM
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Hi everyone. I hope anyone affected by the East Coast winter storm is doing OK.

Vini - that's tough. I think you have some good advice here and on the main newcomers board. All of us need to change for a successful recovery and it's a challenge when those close to us resist the changes. But the oxygen mask rule applies here, doesn't it? You're no good to your family if you relapse.

And in our case sobriety is as vital as oxygen. There are 3 things my father tells me when he speaks to me now: (1) all it takes is one drink, (2) if you fall off the wagon get right back on and (3) remember it is life and death. But then, my dad geta it as he's been sober >10 years after an adult life of drinking.

Brach - hope it gets better - I can see you playing the tape through in your post and it sure got ugly fast!

Bobby, I like the idea of a little adventure - having that spontaneous spirit but enjoying it sober is something I want to keep a part of myself too.

Blacky, congratulations on 25 days! Yeah, the newcomers board shows every side of alcoholism and recovery - our best and our worst. You're absolutely right - the worst is ugly, but we could get that low too. The encouraging bit is the advice and stories of those who've had a long time sober under their belts. And we can get there too...!

Happy Sunday - onward and upward, peeps. To sobriety and beyond!
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Old 01-23-2016, 05:37 PM
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I'm sorry for the ones that put you out of sorts.

I think you can always find those special kinds of threads if you want to be inspired though Blacky

D


Originally Posted by Blacky View Post
Good day folks hope everyone is doing well.

Weather is nasty here, but just rain and cold .. maybe a little snow again later but won't be any accumulation. edit: snowing now ..

I looked at a calendar and I actually have 25 days being I think I was up late that last day into the next. Still in the right class though HA HA .. and feeling good.

I did make the mistake of going to the newcomers section first this morning and reading a few threads of people that gave in last night and even some that were posting this morning while drinking. Not what I need to hear. I got a bit out of sorts there for a bit.

But that section is for people to be welcomed and such no matter what they have going on. I then found some positive threads by those that did not give in and some other positive things.

And ya know, if I had joined 2 months earlier it might of been me posting like that or I might of gotten sober earlier.

I think I will check in here first from now on.
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Old 01-23-2016, 07:33 PM
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Hey All ....just a quick post to make sure my seat gets saved in this class...six weeks sober and lots going on.

Working on my recovery everyday...every minute of everyday most days....been to my doctor, a therapist, my naturopath...confided my truth to a person or two so as to feel accountable...almost broke the internet and blew up my phone downloading every piece of recovery literature ever written in the history of the whole entire world!.....meditating, self-hypnosis...diet change..and lots more....all kinds of safety nets to keep from going back....and still I'm terrified everyday of going back!

But I'm doing my best to not obsess about that...instead focusing on the present moment....and then making the commitment to stay quit for good...panicking and then refocusing on the present!

I'm learning so much....about me...why I always failed at getting sober...it's amazing how much pain I was creating by trying to bury my pain with alcohol...vicious cycle right!

I am so grateful I made it out with my life...and with it in tact....there were so many times I was full on hopeless...completely defeated, accepting my fate as a drunk....and now I can't believe I made it out!!! I'm so grateful and never wanna go back! Evah!
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Old 01-24-2016, 01:16 AM
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hi rahrah.....welcome to the group. We had a seat reserved for you, nice to see you come and take it. thats a serious amount of work you are putting in there, I guess that the kind of commitment that is necessary at the start and its equipping you with the tools and knowledge you will need to go the distance. Reminds me of last year when I was doing the same. It was the first time I quit and the first time I made any real effort to understand what was happening to me.

I did make two terrible mistakes last year though that saw me drinking again for 9 months before I quit forever 55 days ago. Firstly, I didn't build a sober life for myself so when the novelty and euphoria of being sober wore off there was a void for the AV to get me. Secondly, I became a little complacent and overconfident. I guess I needed to prove to myself one last time that I was not a normal drinker....stupid in retrospect.

Blacky - I guess how you look at the newcomers section. There were indeed some terrible threads recently of people posting drunk. Look on them as a valuable reminder of how difficult and evil this struggle is. I hope that they can find the fortitude to stop drinking permanently.

Brach - I relate to what you write daily and I think you are doing a really great job. Keep at it. Its clear that you had some really dark days in the past like us all. They are gone for good now. what you have now are just the first baby steps of a newer, happier life.

Bobby - Well, if you have the fortunate opportunity to be sitting on the couch with the wife....ahem......

Which brings me to my BUMOSI for the day....isn't sober sex bloody great....

Jenses - my strategy is to eat a big meal before I meet up or if we are meeting over dinner I eat to the point that I am totally stuffed. Maybe not fit to burst but to the point that I don't really want to drink. That works for me every time because I don't like the feeling of being too full and the last thing I want to do is pour booze down on top of all that

It is day 55 for me. The longest I ever quit was 56 days last year, so tomorrow I will wake up equalling that and onwards to sober virgin territory.

Its going to be great feeling for all of us quitting in December and now have the whole of January behind us also....you will be thinking that one week from now.
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Old 01-24-2016, 03:37 AM
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Thanks ubn' Miss P and the rest of the group! I did hit a tough spot yesterday, as soon as my mind started thinking about the so called good times of drinking (which as I mentioned were long ago), my body started to react to those thoughts. Anxious, sweaty, excitable, dry mouth etc; in the past I'm pretty sure I've let these physical symptoms feed my mental obsession and I've often just snapped and gone drinking.

Yesterday was the strongest I'd felt like that and got through it sober, thank god. In fact after posting here, listening to an AA share, sleeping and then speaking to my sponsor it had completely passed. It's crazy but at the time it felt like it would never end haha, that's the AV for you.

I'm extremely grateful to be sober today and reading all of your posts and being able to come on here and write about what was happening really helped me. In the past I would never call somebody up if I was struggling and by coming on here and posting first it helped me to open up. Thank you all and I'm very happy we are all on this sober journey together!

Welcome rahrah - it sounds like you are really putting in the work! what has helped you most so far?

Bobby I hope you got out yesterday and had a nice day with your wife. I have found that being couped up in the house all day is not good for and I can become a little restless. Even taking a walk or going to the shops; anything to get me out for a couple of hours really helps and having some exercise is even better for me.

Have an excellent day sober guys, let us know how you've been?
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Old 01-24-2016, 05:43 AM
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Morning everyone. Day 10 checking in.

Thanks for you sharing brach. Always helpful for me to read posts/stories of how other people are feeling as I can almost always relate. Good on 'ya for staying strong man. Much respect to you

Got into a bit of an argument with the wifey yesterday about money/budgetting. I'm the budget guy in the family and I have laid everything out for her so she knows what to put aside from each cheque. However she does it temporarily and then turns around and we have the same stupid fight again and again about it. I walked away, did some stuff, then we reconvened and had a good day together. As dumb as this may sound, I am making a huge effort right now to change things for the better, so I looked at this like "you're not trying to make things better for us". I thought I might be trying to set this up for a relapse or something, but picking up the drink never occurred to me.

Hope everyone has an awesome Sunday
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Old 01-24-2016, 06:53 AM
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Good day to everyone.
Sun is out here but everything is still frozen at 30 degrees. My truck was clean of snow but this morning it has about 4 inches on it. Grrrr. I am doing fine and it will warm to 55 on Tue.

We had 3 people die on the roads near my area. Speed and road conditions, maybe one alcohol related. All single vehicle accidents into a tree or other.

This is my day 27 and I feel no urge to drink. I am feeling more motivated too.
Have started to play guitar again after not feelin it for a while.

Anyone else play an instrument here ? I have some vids .. let me see if I can find something nice that I wrote .. well actually made up as I went along HA HA ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jgnz5RwynMw

Can't figure out how to embed here .. just comes up blank .. grrrrr
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Old 01-24-2016, 06:59 AM
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Thanks all for the welcome...I've been here since December...just quietly sitting at the back...too busy studying to put my hand up!

ubntubnt: I agree about creating a sober life....fortunately I already have that...every aspect of my life is sober except for me and my drinking...I'm a busy Mom with my own business...and there isn't much drinking in my life...except for mine (and most of it was hidden)...so that aspect of recovery has been a no-brainer...thank goodness!

brach123: what's helped me the most? Absolutely learning about AVRT....every time I tried to quit before I felt like a crazy person, I genuinely thought I had a split personality...one who was desperate to be sober and the other who only wanted to drink...no matter the cost....the difference this time in getting and staying sober is learning that my 'other personality' is simply my addiction....plain and simple...that was it for me...once I was able to label that obsession to drink again as my sicknesses/addiction....it was easier to ignore it. Of coarse I have a ton of other work to do..but AVRT allows me to get passed picking up that first drink so that I could do the work.

Thanks guys for the input and support!
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Old 01-24-2016, 08:08 AM
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Test ..



Ok I figured it out .. could not edit my other post anymore.

The guitar is a 1984 Gibson Challenger I put back together from just a neck and body, I got all the other parts and wired it up .. thus the resurrection of it.
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Old 01-24-2016, 12:15 PM
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Checking in on day 40. My doc appointment the other day went quite well. He was very supportive and even gave me a hug and said congratulations. Test results pending, of course, but I am so glad to have the big confession behind me and marching forward.
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Old 01-25-2016, 03:53 AM
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Hi everyone. I'm still here even though I seldom post. I've been doing good and chugging on through life. Most days are good but still get those good time feelings about drinking. Luckily I just play it out and wait it out. Planning a family vacation. First extended vacation sober since ever. I've had short ones but I'm a little nervous I won't have fun. No fear of drinking though. Committed no matter what happens.

Been trying new things and pushing myself so that I'm just not drinking but recovering. So far it's good not great but good. Still hard to think of no drink forever but today I won't drink. I hope in the future the anxiety will decrease when I say "foreve". Told some close friends so they won't tempt me. I know I'm in it forever but it seems like such a big word. No plans to drink so that's good enough for now.

Take care all.
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Old 01-25-2016, 03:57 AM
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nice work putting that back together Blacky
some nice chops too

D
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Old 01-25-2016, 04:07 AM
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Originally Posted by BobbyLight View Post
Got into a bit of an argument with the wifey yesterday about money/budgetting.
Bobby - This struck a cord with me because I have a spouse with an overspending problem. Have you looked into SMART recovery? I have been studying it to help with sobriety, but many of the principles can be applied to any addictive behavior, such as compulsive spending. I am going to try to work on it together. Check it out!
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Old 01-25-2016, 05:05 AM
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Originally Posted by Blacky View Post
Test ..



Ok I figured it out .. could not edit my other post anymore.

The guitar is a 1984 Gibson Challenger I put back together from just a neck and body, I got all the other parts and wired it up .. thus the resurrection of it.
Thanks so much for sharing that Blacky!
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