Class of December 2015 Pt 4
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
I think I will look into the programs or whatnot other than AA you mentioned Steely.
I still have to attend AA or NA but there are meetings about 10 minutes away so that is convenient.
I met with another new customer today that was a referral from the other new one I did work for the other day. I think I have the job, staining an outdoor table and benches. It is small but these things lead to other work if done well. So that is good.
On an unrelated note .. I want to vent about my Epson printer/scanner/copier .. this thing is holding me hostage .. ok not me but it refuses to print anything because the yellow is out, it has a setting for B & W and there is black ink but the page came out blank and now the printer won't even scan anything to PDF.
The replace ink screen just pops up and it is demanding the ink. Now it did this same thing with the magenta, and I got that cartridge and it had yellow left then and still would not print correctly, it did scan though. I really don't want to spend $12 on ink because I don't think this thing works anymore
.. GRRRRRRRRRRRR !!
I think I have 2 or 3 other discarded printers in the closet .. cheaper to buy a new one than the ink on those .. I got this one ($59) because I went and looked at the ink prices and they were ok compared to the $80 for some .. grumble ..
I feel pretty good though otherwise. Don't sweat the small stuff.
I still have to attend AA or NA but there are meetings about 10 minutes away so that is convenient.
I met with another new customer today that was a referral from the other new one I did work for the other day. I think I have the job, staining an outdoor table and benches. It is small but these things lead to other work if done well. So that is good.
On an unrelated note .. I want to vent about my Epson printer/scanner/copier .. this thing is holding me hostage .. ok not me but it refuses to print anything because the yellow is out, it has a setting for B & W and there is black ink but the page came out blank and now the printer won't even scan anything to PDF.
The replace ink screen just pops up and it is demanding the ink. Now it did this same thing with the magenta, and I got that cartridge and it had yellow left then and still would not print correctly, it did scan though. I really don't want to spend $12 on ink because I don't think this thing works anymore
.. GRRRRRRRRRRRR !!
I think I have 2 or 3 other discarded printers in the closet .. cheaper to buy a new one than the ink on those .. I got this one ($59) because I went and looked at the ink prices and they were ok compared to the $80 for some .. grumble ..
I feel pretty good though otherwise. Don't sweat the small stuff.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
It has been a crazy 24 hours. I arrived in Melbourne yesterday morning, worked from my hotel room in the morning and got called into a meeting at our office here in the afternoon. The "meeting" was in our drawing room and was a continuation of a boozy lunch reception. Lots of wine which I of course declined.
From there I went to another client function at the tennis which was also booze filled. I was honestly the only person there not drinking and it was noticeable. I have to say at times I felt anxious and tongue tied, as if I have to relearn how to socialise sober. The night was very long because if you're following the tennis you will know that the match went to five sets. I returned to the hotel at 1 am very tired and a little upset again. I hadn't felt like drinking but I wondered if I can do this job successfully as a non drinker. I'm sure this is not my AV as if choose sobriety over my career but it's a depressing thought.
I woke late and am now travelling to Sydney for a wedding later this afternoon at which I'm a witness. I slept in and changed my flight do I'm cutting it close to even make it to the wedding but all will be well. I needed my extra sleep or don't know how I would go today.
They're calling my flight.
I cannot wait for this day to be over.
From there I went to another client function at the tennis which was also booze filled. I was honestly the only person there not drinking and it was noticeable. I have to say at times I felt anxious and tongue tied, as if I have to relearn how to socialise sober. The night was very long because if you're following the tennis you will know that the match went to five sets. I returned to the hotel at 1 am very tired and a little upset again. I hadn't felt like drinking but I wondered if I can do this job successfully as a non drinker. I'm sure this is not my AV as if choose sobriety over my career but it's a depressing thought.
I woke late and am now travelling to Sydney for a wedding later this afternoon at which I'm a witness. I slept in and changed my flight do I'm cutting it close to even make it to the wedding but all will be well. I needed my extra sleep or don't know how I would go today.
They're calling my flight.
I cannot wait for this day to be over.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 1,303
Blacky we have the same printer!...I have found I just have to give in and buy the really expensive ink. Like you I tried everything but got nowhere...
Miss P take care, things sound hectic for you, this would put me on red alert for the AV so rest whenever you can if that is possible!
Take care all
Miss P take care, things sound hectic for you, this would put me on red alert for the AV so rest whenever you can if that is possible!
Take care all
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
Well I did buy the Epson ink, it is reasonable at $12 a cartridge, but the half full black is refusing to work so I don't want to spend any more on the yellow now and have it still not work.
I bought a printer one time from a thrift store for $2 .. was a gamble but the odds were much better than the lottery. It worked.
I may look for a used one I can return if it won't work.
Good day folks.
Today is back to the wallpaper job. I will use an orbital sander hooked to a shop vac to go over the walls. Then paint with a lacquer based primer to seal any glue residue. If you don't seal it the glue reacts with regular paint making the walls look fuzzy and irregular. I learned this the hard way.
Hope everyone's day goes well.
I bought a printer one time from a thrift store for $2 .. was a gamble but the odds were much better than the lottery. It worked.
I may look for a used one I can return if it won't work.
Good day folks.
Today is back to the wallpaper job. I will use an orbital sander hooked to a shop vac to go over the walls. Then paint with a lacquer based primer to seal any glue residue. If you don't seal it the glue reacts with regular paint making the walls look fuzzy and irregular. I learned this the hard way.
Hope everyone's day goes well.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Happy Sober Saturday all. This low carb diet is going great so far. I'm feeling good. Lots of errands today.. And gonna go see the movie 'Room' tonight. I've heard mannnny good things about it. I try to see a few Oscar nominated movies before they come on anyway. I've seen Joy. And Jennifer Lawrence was amazing. Anyways I hope everyone has a great day! Miss P hang in there love! 
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,540
Good morning everyone. Feeling depressed this morning and feel like crying. Gave up cigarettes yesterday and made it through Day 1 and figure that I am starting to feel the feelings that alcohol and nicotine have for decades suppressed. Feel really sad. I'm not looking back in anger but reflecting and seeing more clearly the way I allowed alcohol to 'manage' my life. Now it's just me with lots of upsetting memories and the task of managing my emotions and self on my own. Someone here posted "look back but don't stare" which helped me a lot in not lamenting the past and moving forward. Guilt/sorrow/shame. There is no way that I will pick up and believe when people say that it will pass. I suppose it would be wrong for it to be any other way? I'm feeling the feelings which is better than not being able to feel at all. Guess I've just got to suck it up as the lovely linguists might say lol. Also get in a lather of angst about not responding to all the good people here as threads move so fast and think that people will think me rude or disinterested, which is not the case. Seriously, I get really anxious if I think people think me disinterested because everyone here is important. Yay, I found a place where I have some importance and a place. 
People pleasing, how pathetic. It will pass so long as I stay sober and put my half baked plan into place, right?
Printers are my nemesis Blacky. I don't use coloured ink for home use and can't buy a cartridge that just supplies black. They make me buy coloured cartridges which is a complete rort. Sounds like you are getting a bit of work which is good and can remember using an orbital sander on my floorboards when renovating a flat I had in Bondi before the grog sanded me and I lost the lot. I only weigh 40kgs (I'm trying to put on weight) and the orbital sander swept me off my feet. Whoa!
Your schedule looks really busy MissP take it easy, hey. It would be a bit of a dud world if we had to be a drinker to work in our chosen career. The social conditioning of alcohol needs a complete restructure. Thanks for listening to me class. I know things will improve as my sobriety grows and I take the next right step. Even though I'm a left winger. Sheee! You guys are great and I do still love being sober. The honeymoon is over.
People pleasing, how pathetic. It will pass so long as I stay sober and put my half baked plan into place, right?Printers are my nemesis Blacky. I don't use coloured ink for home use and can't buy a cartridge that just supplies black. They make me buy coloured cartridges which is a complete rort. Sounds like you are getting a bit of work which is good and can remember using an orbital sander on my floorboards when renovating a flat I had in Bondi before the grog sanded me and I lost the lot. I only weigh 40kgs (I'm trying to put on weight) and the orbital sander swept me off my feet. Whoa!
Your schedule looks really busy MissP take it easy, hey. It would be a bit of a dud world if we had to be a drinker to work in our chosen career. The social conditioning of alcohol needs a complete restructure. Thanks for listening to me class. I know things will improve as my sobriety grows and I take the next right step. Even though I'm a left winger. Sheee! You guys are great and I do still love being sober. The honeymoon is over.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Good morning all. Woke up to a late Sunday here in Sydney with nothing that I need to do except get on a plane back to Melbourne later today. Yay! Steely, it would be gorgeous down at Bondi today, not a cloud in that sky.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. The wedding yesterday was very small - a few people gathered around a park with a dead-on view of the Opera House - perfect. We had drinks and dinner to celebrate in a larger group in the evening and that was fine. There were a few non-drinkers around the table and a couple of people were curious in a gentle non-threatening way about why I decided to stop drinking. It was overall a relaxed enjoyable evening and most importantly it was good to see my friends. Weddings always make me cry, even small ones!
I do contemplate before I post stuff here but I still sometimes I wonder if I should have posted stuff after I've done it. I guess we all do at times. Yesterday, I had second thoughts about my post - I thought I came off sounding ungrateful for an interesting rewarding job and a career that could offer me a lot if I devote some (sober) time to it. I am of course very grateful for what I have but I can put a lot of pressure on myself about it.
It's as Jenses described - it's the tendency to be all-or-nothing about work, which is a kind of addiction in itself. Once it is there it's there - like any addiction, you can fall back into it.
I also have a hang-up about making the most of what I've been given - the guilt of repaying parents who gave me privileges, especially. When I was drinking I buried it and thought I had got over it, but now I am sober and refocussed on my job those feelings of guilt and obligation have returned.
I think mine is a classic case of what they say on these boards and what Steely just said - when we stop relying on drink to run away from things, we have finally have to face those things - "feel the feelings we suppressed".
I'm going to keep working on the social anxiety I felt the other evening. It may have been compounded by tiredness. Maybe as I spend more time sober I'll get used to it. Because I agree - drinking shouldn't be necessary for any career. Some people on these boards work in hospitality who are around drink constantly, some actually work in the wine industry for example.
And of course there is the big thing that I overlooked in wondering "Can I be successful in my job if I don't drink?" The answer is probably. But if I ask "Can I be successful in my job if I do drink?", the answer is one big "fuggehdaboutit". That would be the job and the rest of my life down the pan.
So very likely it was the sneaky AV after all.
Thanks everyone for listening. If I did not have SR to work stuff out like this, this journey would be so much harder.
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. The wedding yesterday was very small - a few people gathered around a park with a dead-on view of the Opera House - perfect. We had drinks and dinner to celebrate in a larger group in the evening and that was fine. There were a few non-drinkers around the table and a couple of people were curious in a gentle non-threatening way about why I decided to stop drinking. It was overall a relaxed enjoyable evening and most importantly it was good to see my friends. Weddings always make me cry, even small ones!
I do contemplate before I post stuff here but I still sometimes I wonder if I should have posted stuff after I've done it. I guess we all do at times. Yesterday, I had second thoughts about my post - I thought I came off sounding ungrateful for an interesting rewarding job and a career that could offer me a lot if I devote some (sober) time to it. I am of course very grateful for what I have but I can put a lot of pressure on myself about it.
It's as Jenses described - it's the tendency to be all-or-nothing about work, which is a kind of addiction in itself. Once it is there it's there - like any addiction, you can fall back into it.
I also have a hang-up about making the most of what I've been given - the guilt of repaying parents who gave me privileges, especially. When I was drinking I buried it and thought I had got over it, but now I am sober and refocussed on my job those feelings of guilt and obligation have returned.
I think mine is a classic case of what they say on these boards and what Steely just said - when we stop relying on drink to run away from things, we have finally have to face those things - "feel the feelings we suppressed".
I'm going to keep working on the social anxiety I felt the other evening. It may have been compounded by tiredness. Maybe as I spend more time sober I'll get used to it. Because I agree - drinking shouldn't be necessary for any career. Some people on these boards work in hospitality who are around drink constantly, some actually work in the wine industry for example.
And of course there is the big thing that I overlooked in wondering "Can I be successful in my job if I don't drink?" The answer is probably. But if I ask "Can I be successful in my job if I do drink?", the answer is one big "fuggehdaboutit". That would be the job and the rest of my life down the pan.
So very likely it was the sneaky AV after all.
Thanks everyone for listening. If I did not have SR to work stuff out like this, this journey would be so much harder.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
Originally Posted by Steely 
Also get in a lather of angst about not responding to all the good people here as threads move so fast and think that people will think me rude or disinterested, which is not the case. Seriously, I get really anxious if I think people think me disinterested because everyone here is important. Yay, I found a place where I have some importance and a place. People pleasing, how pathetic. It will pass so long as I stay sober and put my half baked plan into place, right?
People pleasing, how pathetic. It will pass so long as I stay sober and put my half baked plan into place, right?But firstly just by posting about your thoughts and experiences, you're contributing something - you never know what you might say that could help someone else.
Secondly - about the sense of belonging here, that's 100% right. We all have a place here so, apart from keeping within the rules of the board (important disclaimer!), whatever you have to say is welcome.
Lastly, we are all here to recover and heal ourselves, so if you want to get stuff off your chest about your life, please do it! If you don't have time or energy to focus on other people's posts, that's absolutely OK. It's fine to be a bit selfish in that sense.
Peace to you
Enjoy the sunshine today!
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
I think, as was said that we are all here to keep sober and share things. I am lazy so I'm not going to quote the many good things said above.
I read posts usually and support you folk, and feel I can ramble about what not and it is ok here.
I had a good day.
I did what I set out to on the wallpaper job then went to another job to hang a door and cut some shelves. I plan to finish the one job tomorrow and get paid.
I got the table staining job, scheduled that for Mon. when the weather will be 60 degrees.
So things are going well and I am sleeping ok and getting up with no problem.
I may be drinking too much coffee in the morning but I like it.
I switched back to ecigs from real ones about 4 days or so ago and can now breath better and still get my nicotine. I may cut it down sometime but not right now.
Hope you all are doing well and that things get better for those dealing with this and that.
I read posts usually and support you folk, and feel I can ramble about what not and it is ok here.
I had a good day.
I did what I set out to on the wallpaper job then went to another job to hang a door and cut some shelves. I plan to finish the one job tomorrow and get paid.
I got the table staining job, scheduled that for Mon. when the weather will be 60 degrees.
So things are going well and I am sleeping ok and getting up with no problem.
I may be drinking too much coffee in the morning but I like it.
I switched back to ecigs from real ones about 4 days or so ago and can now breath better and still get my nicotine. I may cut it down sometime but not right now.
Hope you all are doing well and that things get better for those dealing with this and that.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
I think today will be good as well.
You know I used to have a negative outlook on things, like oh I have to paint these shelves and door and man I don't feel like doing anything .. whine, blah blah ..
Now it is .. I'll get out there early and do the walls then the trim and it should all go well and I will be out of there in a half day.
If the Lady has chosen the color .. ha ha .. this is the sort that has to paint part of the wall and look at it etc. I once painted 3 colors on there rec. room and it stayed that way a month as the mom and daughter decided. HA HA ..
I at least taught them how to paint there own samples on the wall after that when it came to other rooms.
Hope folks are doing ok and have a good day.
You know I used to have a negative outlook on things, like oh I have to paint these shelves and door and man I don't feel like doing anything .. whine, blah blah ..
Now it is .. I'll get out there early and do the walls then the trim and it should all go well and I will be out of there in a half day.
If the Lady has chosen the color .. ha ha .. this is the sort that has to paint part of the wall and look at it etc. I once painted 3 colors on there rec. room and it stayed that way a month as the mom and daughter decided. HA HA ..
I at least taught them how to paint there own samples on the wall after that when it came to other rooms.
Hope folks are doing ok and have a good day.
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 1,222
hi everyone, back home after two weeks on the road. The simple life, food, bed time stories, crappy tv etc. Brought my son to see Kung Fu Panda 3 yesterday. He is 4 and laughed the entire way through. Not little kid giggles but massive, loud relentless howling.
I can understand why a few of us are finding the going a little tough at the moment. January is done, it took a big effort to get to this point and the AV is kind of saying "wow, that was hard, don't tell me you are going to keep up this madness". The AV is at a point of panic because another sober month is going to mean broken habits and the emergence of a sober life. At that point we will have gone so far down the sober road that turning back will be much less of an option.
See how the AV has changed? It used to be: have a drink tonight don't be boring, its a party, lets get drunk with our friends, lets watch tv with a bottle of wine....all short term temptations assuming we didn't have the discipline to handle ourselves. Now its: do I have to choose between my career and drinking? are you going to do this forever? etc. Sounds like desperation to me.
I really think February is the big one. The past couple of days I have not had cravings as such but my AV has also been active. Quietly whispering in my ear "you have done a great job, 9 weeks, thats awesome, but to never drink again seems a bit unnecessarily harsh on yourself, maybe even a little silly. Why not enjoy one night with a couple of bottles of nice red at your favourite wine bar with friends? not a big deal". Drinking again is not an option....EVER. EVER. You hear?
I can understand why a few of us are finding the going a little tough at the moment. January is done, it took a big effort to get to this point and the AV is kind of saying "wow, that was hard, don't tell me you are going to keep up this madness". The AV is at a point of panic because another sober month is going to mean broken habits and the emergence of a sober life. At that point we will have gone so far down the sober road that turning back will be much less of an option.
See how the AV has changed? It used to be: have a drink tonight don't be boring, its a party, lets get drunk with our friends, lets watch tv with a bottle of wine....all short term temptations assuming we didn't have the discipline to handle ourselves. Now its: do I have to choose between my career and drinking? are you going to do this forever? etc. Sounds like desperation to me.
I really think February is the big one. The past couple of days I have not had cravings as such but my AV has also been active. Quietly whispering in my ear "you have done a great job, 9 weeks, thats awesome, but to never drink again seems a bit unnecessarily harsh on yourself, maybe even a little silly. Why not enjoy one night with a couple of bottles of nice red at your favourite wine bar with friends? not a big deal". Drinking again is not an option....EVER. EVER. You hear?
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
Well I should be at work but I am still here.
I called the Lady I mentioned above to check if she had the paint.
Nope, she tried the color and now thinks she wants a darker shade .. grrrrrrr
This was not really unexpected as a scenario .. ha ha .. it's why I called before setting out to the house.
Now I have to wait for the paint store to open, her to get a sample, put it on the wall and hopefully make a decision. I can still complete this job today.
I called the Lady I mentioned above to check if she had the paint.
Nope, she tried the color and now thinks she wants a darker shade .. grrrrrrr
This was not really unexpected as a scenario .. ha ha .. it's why I called before setting out to the house.
Now I have to wait for the paint store to open, her to get a sample, put it on the wall and hopefully make a decision. I can still complete this job today.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 1,356
Good morning everyone... This weekend has been quite uneventful and had no weekend plans for the first time this month. In usual cases I get some alcohol to have a me party but I totally ignored that AV last night and played it through. I knew I'd wake up feeling gross and just wanna drink more to make that grossness go away. How pretty much all my binges have started. but with this diet that I'm on and all of my goals I have for pre-summer. Getting license back, getting a car, looking/feeling better than I have in years, and moving out with my BFF (who doesn't drink at all which would be perfect) I knew it wasn't an option. I'm thankful for my great job and great family I got now. Life is good. Can't wait for it to be great again. Happy Sober Sunday!
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,540
Good morning class. I've got my lunch box packed, a ribbon in my hair and a bunch of flowers for the teacher. I am feeling much better today Dee, thanks. I'm dying to know what colour paint your client finally chooses Blacky.. Is it true that green is hard to live with on inside walls? Remember someone saying that to me once, think it was my psychiatrist if my memory serves me well when we were discussing paint colours for my flat. He's a good bloke and I always razz him about driving a BMW. BM Trouble You. I'm waking up feeling much more fresh and alive since giving up smoking 3 days ago and my AV inactive but am not counting my chickens one bit. Drinking and smoking took up so much time no wonder I didn't get around to doing all the good things, even the mundane things went to the pack, housework, food, etc. Just pretend February is January ubn (when I type ubn it autocorrects to bun which made me laugh. Trick the little bugger, it's only a day at a time January to December. Thanks too MissP sounds like the wedding went well and non-drinkers present which speaks volumes. We place so much emphasis on our drinking and its importance in our workaday and social world. Most people couldn't give a toss. Thanks too for the inclusiveness You didn't come across as ungrateful at all and always supportive of others. Like you have debts and stuff that I have to clear up now that I am sober and can think. My half baked plan is to get the flat organised, tend my plants, read, eat healthy food, clear debt and get to the beach. I have not been once this summer and I love the beach. Last summer a life saver would not let me in the water as I was intoxed. Shame, cringe, shame. And I'm fully aware of the number of deaths related to alcohol and drowning in this brown land. For some reason I think I've got to have written 'Crime and Punishment' before I think myself worthwhile. Now it's just me a petunia and a clean flat. Feels good. CuteNGay you sound like you are doing well and broken crayons still do colour as you say. All of your goals look great. Slowly, slowly taskforce. Me too. I am so happy for us all. We rock.
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Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 704
Originally Posted by Steely
Good morning class. I've got my lunch box packed, a ribbon in my hair and a bunch of flowers for the teacher. I am feeling much better today Dee, thanks. I'm dying to know what colour paint your client finally chooses Blacky.. Is it true that green is hard to live with on inside walls? >>><<<< I am so happy for us all. We rock.
As for todays job, well you can take a guess as I happen to have a bad cell phone pic of the colors the Lady put on the wall ...
The Lady said that they may try and sell the house at some point so I recommended a basic off white because buyers like to picture there own colors. A house with the trim all one color and the walls all another done in light shades of white with a bit of contrast make a house show the best.
This Lady disregarded my advice. Heck I have painted rooms purple before. Then got the job to get rid of it when they go to try and rent the place at a later time.
Oh, I did finish the job and get paid.
Got me some coffee on the way home.
I am going to do it all again on another bathroom in the house starting Fri.
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: NSW - Australia
Posts: 14,540
Agree absolutely on the off-White and new owners imagining for themselves the colour. If it's painted purple potential buyers tenants are going to walk out, though the rental market here in Sydney is so tight they just might sign the agreement. Little if any affordable housing. Offwhite throughout also make a room look bigger. Out of the patches on the door I'd choose that blue roller thing colour. She'll love that. I'm still not smoking, Day 3 and hope the same for you and everybody here in Smokers' Alley. My psychiatrist was right.
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