Class of July 2015 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: the driftless zone
Posts: 1,017
Hi Julyers,
Toadie- Good job! (and I too am jealous)
Cbf- Going to echo shabby here--please come back often. You mentioned health issues?
Upwards- Plz try not to dwell on mistakes or (perceived) inadequacies. Easier said than done of course. I make mistakes *daily* in my job and elsewhere.
fantail- I hope you're okay.
Toadie- Good job! (and I too am jealous)
Cbf- Going to echo shabby here--please come back often. You mentioned health issues?
Upwards- Plz try not to dwell on mistakes or (perceived) inadequacies. Easier said than done of course. I make mistakes *daily* in my job and elsewhere.
fantail- I hope you're okay.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: the driftless zone
Posts: 1,017
The workshop I'd planned on attending didn't happen. Got there and...nobody. I was a little irked (Couldn't they at lease have notified me?), but decided to drive waaaay up the river to enjoy the glorious fall colors.
On the way back, I was mulling over a recommendation a guy at work had. He had gone on a great road trip to the Rockies this summer. I said "Rockies! Sounds great but I can't drive *that* far by myself... ", so his recommendation was Memphis---"It's great and not so far. The people are nice". So now I have a bee in my bonnet about going to Memphis. I just Google Mapped it and you just need to get on certain highway and drive straight down the river. Hmm.. may happen on spring break.
Sorry for the ramble. Shabby, I'm taking your advice and trying to taper down the M&Ms. (Doesn't seem there are any support groups near here.) I will try to see if I can have only a normal bag tonight.
BTW- They *had* called about the workshop, I just hadn't checked. Typical.
On the way back, I was mulling over a recommendation a guy at work had. He had gone on a great road trip to the Rockies this summer. I said "Rockies! Sounds great but I can't drive *that* far by myself... ", so his recommendation was Memphis---"It's great and not so far. The people are nice". So now I have a bee in my bonnet about going to Memphis. I just Google Mapped it and you just need to get on certain highway and drive straight down the river. Hmm.. may happen on spring break.
Sorry for the ramble. Shabby, I'm taking your advice and trying to taper down the M&Ms. (Doesn't seem there are any support groups near here.) I will try to see if I can have only a normal bag tonight.
BTW- They *had* called about the workshop, I just hadn't checked. Typical.
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
fantail...Sub bowling means a substitute bowler, teams ask me to sub for them when a regular bowler can't make it...I bowl for free! Tuesday I shot a 257/175/248 for a 680 series, the team won 7 points and lost 2.
I've been RV traveling since 1979, the current RV is my seventh, so it's a way of life for me and my wife. We tend to take at least two long trips a year, figure as long as we're healthy we should keep doing it...I haven't flown anywhere since the 1990s!
It's really comforting having all your stuff with you, sleeping in the same bed, being able to stop just about anywhere and overnight, never have to use rest area bathrooms...wish you all could experience it sometime in your life's travels.
I've been RV traveling since 1979, the current RV is my seventh, so it's a way of life for me and my wife. We tend to take at least two long trips a year, figure as long as we're healthy we should keep doing it...I haven't flown anywhere since the 1990s!
It's really comforting having all your stuff with you, sleeping in the same bed, being able to stop just about anywhere and overnight, never have to use rest area bathrooms...wish you all could experience it sometime in your life's travels.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
Thanks you guys. I wish I could say I feel better but I don't. My co-worker referred to this incident a few times today as "the big f*ck up" and implied how pissed the boss man will be when we tell him about it.
I think he believes it's okay to speak this way because he acknowledged that we all contributed to the f up, but I am physically responsible for what happened and it's gnawing at me.
I feel incredibly sensitive to every little criticism, every minor mistake. I can't separate my self worth from my job performance.
I think he believes it's okay to speak this way because he acknowledged that we all contributed to the f up, but I am physically responsible for what happened and it's gnawing at me.
I feel incredibly sensitive to every little criticism, every minor mistake. I can't separate my self worth from my job performance.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
Upward, i have been down that road many times. I had a full blown panic attack that lasted for 1.5 weeks until i snapped. I broke down crying to my wife. A screw up at work. I thought i was going to lose my job, house and everything. I appologized when i got back to work. It ate me from the inside out. It may have been a major depressive episode also. I am not a dr but i couldnt eat or sleep well for several days. I didnt see a dr but i should have.
Remember we wear many hats everyday. Worker, friend, boyfriend, family member and ect...
I learned from that experiance that i took work too seriously and it was killing me. I can only do my best at everything i do. 1 aspect of life doesnt define me as a whole. I would rather be a good person, husband and father then employee of the week. I was too focused on work and i always felt like i didnt do well enough. This caused me to neglect the true important aspects of my life. Its hard to accept this but its true. That will not define you. Did your mistake hurt someone? At the end of the day is it thaf big of a deal?
I know you will find the right answer up. Dont left that shape who you are. We all make mistakes.
Maybe see a therapist. They can give you additional tools and help you better rationalize things. I wish you well.
Remember we wear many hats everyday. Worker, friend, boyfriend, family member and ect...
I learned from that experiance that i took work too seriously and it was killing me. I can only do my best at everything i do. 1 aspect of life doesnt define me as a whole. I would rather be a good person, husband and father then employee of the week. I was too focused on work and i always felt like i didnt do well enough. This caused me to neglect the true important aspects of my life. Its hard to accept this but its true. That will not define you. Did your mistake hurt someone? At the end of the day is it thaf big of a deal?
I know you will find the right answer up. Dont left that shape who you are. We all make mistakes.
Maybe see a therapist. They can give you additional tools and help you better rationalize things. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
I guess what's so upsetting is that I screwed up because I was careless. Honestly, I didn't care about something enough to handle it properly and as a result someone WAS hurt (their property was lost.)
I can make excuses for my oversight but it boils down to me having been self centered and not conscientious.
I can be such a selfish, judgemental and difficult person. I just really despise myself right now but I'm not going to drink over it. I'm trying so hard to work on these flaws but I feel at the moment like things could fall apart before I can prove myself worthy.
I can make excuses for my oversight but it boils down to me having been self centered and not conscientious.
I can be such a selfish, judgemental and difficult person. I just really despise myself right now but I'm not going to drink over it. I'm trying so hard to work on these flaws but I feel at the moment like things could fall apart before I can prove myself worthy.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
So true, letitgo. These things don't define us. If it's any consolation, Upwards, I'm incredibly sensitive to every little criticism and every minor mistake too.
Things I notice: It was a minor mistake - not a big one. It's so easy to lose perspective once we get on our own cases. Having said that, your co-worker repeatedly referring to it as he is, is insensitive (he can't be that stupid) and perhaps subtly aggressive (that's a bit strong but you know what I mean). Particularly as he has acknowledged himself that everyone contributed to said minor mistake.
As for you being 'careless' - it sounds very much like you do care to me. I think what you mean is you acted in a way without anticipating the consequences, which is kind of the opposite of careless, you know what I mean? We all do that many times a day - it's only human. We are bound to make the odd mistake.
I don't know anything much about AA, but the impression I get is that one step is making some kind of inventory....is this where the 'flaws' come in? If it's going to be looked at in that way, here's a potential one that I know for sure I have: self-criticism - being really hard on myself - judgemental. It cuts both ways. If we shouldn't judge others, we shouldn't judge ourselves harshly either. It's one thing to be honest and self-reflective, but another to be unkind about ourselves in our self-reflections. I think words like 'selfish', 'careless', and 'difficult' are judgemental words and there are other ways of looking at why we do or don't do things. I hope that doesn't sound judgemental! It's meant to be the opposite. You are a great person. Don't listen to those thoughts. They say nothing about you at all xxxxx
Things I notice: It was a minor mistake - not a big one. It's so easy to lose perspective once we get on our own cases. Having said that, your co-worker repeatedly referring to it as he is, is insensitive (he can't be that stupid) and perhaps subtly aggressive (that's a bit strong but you know what I mean). Particularly as he has acknowledged himself that everyone contributed to said minor mistake.
As for you being 'careless' - it sounds very much like you do care to me. I think what you mean is you acted in a way without anticipating the consequences, which is kind of the opposite of careless, you know what I mean? We all do that many times a day - it's only human. We are bound to make the odd mistake.
I don't know anything much about AA, but the impression I get is that one step is making some kind of inventory....is this where the 'flaws' come in? If it's going to be looked at in that way, here's a potential one that I know for sure I have: self-criticism - being really hard on myself - judgemental. It cuts both ways. If we shouldn't judge others, we shouldn't judge ourselves harshly either. It's one thing to be honest and self-reflective, but another to be unkind about ourselves in our self-reflections. I think words like 'selfish', 'careless', and 'difficult' are judgemental words and there are other ways of looking at why we do or don't do things. I hope that doesn't sound judgemental! It's meant to be the opposite. You are a great person. Don't listen to those thoughts. They say nothing about you at all xxxxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Just realised I was being judgmental about your co-worker.....maybe, but watch! I am going to deftly turn this around to prove my point :-)
I was being judgmental - but what was my motivation? Being kind to and defending, Upwards! I'm not saying it makes it right, just that we are complicated creatures and act in ways for a whole host of reasons, which is why we should't be judgmental about others OR ourselves, if we can help it.
I was being judgmental - but what was my motivation? Being kind to and defending, Upwards! I'm not saying it makes it right, just that we are complicated creatures and act in ways for a whole host of reasons, which is why we should't be judgmental about others OR ourselves, if we can help it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by tokidoki 
Hi Julyers,
Toadie- Good job! (and I too am jealous)
Cbf- Going to echo shabby here--please come back often. You mentioned health issues?
Upwards- Plz try not to dwell on mistakes or (perceived) inadequacies. Easier said than done of course. I make mistakes *daily* in my job and elsewhere.
fantail- I hope you're okay.
Toadie- Good job! (and I too am jealous)
Cbf- Going to echo shabby here--please come back often. You mentioned health issues?
Upwards- Plz try not to dwell on mistakes or (perceived) inadequacies. Easier said than done of course. I make mistakes *daily* in my job and elsewhere.
fantail- I hope you're okay.
Health wise, yeah I did say I'd had a few problems. It's mainly my stomach (something a few of us on here seem to have issues with - go figure what the cause could be!), and I'm currently waiting for an appointment at the Gastro dept. at my hospital to see what the cause is. I had blood tests which showed low Vitamin D and Iron so just regular tablets for that, but I get very nauseous a lot (even during long periods of abstinence) and it's something that intensifies at times.
No doubt years of stupidity have increased these issues, but I feel there is probably a deeper underlying issue.
Anyway, I'll definitely keep checking in. So difficult to keep check on my own complacency , and I won't give excuses but I will and must try harder.
Hope you are doing ok!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,697
The best remedy for these things is time. You will feel better in a week and most likely forget about it. Maybe do some meditation to gain some mindfullness. I know i would obsess over it. Then i would i seek anoth opinion and reach out to people to rationalize it. Only you have the key the yourself dungeon. I think you more then served your time.
I feel so self centered alot also. I have a jeleousy issue. Why can things work out this way. When i was in sf i saw man people begging for food and change. I complain my cavle bill is too high. I am grateful for everything i have and need to focus on that.
Self centered and jealousy are 2 emotions that drag me way down. Because then i think drinking would eradicate them. AV thinking.
Conhrars on knowing better and not drinking up!
Hope you feel better CBF!! I think vitamin D deficiency is common.
I feel so self centered alot also. I have a jeleousy issue. Why can things work out this way. When i was in sf i saw man people begging for food and change. I complain my cavle bill is too high. I am grateful for everything i have and need to focus on that.
Self centered and jealousy are 2 emotions that drag me way down. Because then i think drinking would eradicate them. AV thinking.
Conhrars on knowing better and not drinking up!
Hope you feel better CBF!! I think vitamin D deficiency is common.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
I know you guys are right, and yes I am looking forward to finding the solution in the 12 steps. This is a slow process and in the meantime my shortcomings are slapping me in the face left and right now that I'm not numb all the time.
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my posts.
Today is a new day, and I will try again.
Thanks for taking the time to reply to my posts.
Today is a new day, and I will try again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 464
Hi all,
Got through this stressful week almost. Finished up our meetings and cleaned up and reorganized everything and am now finally done. Its sort of feels like, phew glad that is over with!
CBF - I can relate to the health issues. Its as if the anxiety is starting to quell a bit and now I have to pick up the pieces of my health that were the result of my drinking. I have a vitamin D deficiency as well and am taking a 5000 IU supplement daily for it. I think its helping.
Upwards - I hope your work issue clears up, I know how that feels and the accompanying dread that goes along with it. Hang in there, I for one believe that our jobs dont necessarily define us and these screw ups that happen don't either. Its a rough spot though and I hope it all turns out okay!
Toadie - My parents bought an RV and have used it maybe like once. However as a drinker traveling that way never appealed to me, mostly because I figured Id get a DUI with all that driving. Since I've quit, it sounds very intriguing being on the go. I've known alot of former recovering alcoholics that found some peace in travelling to various areas in the country, after some time spent in their sobriety.
Welp, Hope you all are hanging in there. I'm trying my best to not let things get me down and am recently focusing on a diet. Its keeping my mind off all the hypochondria I deal with. I figure, well if I am sick or not and if its serious or not, then I'm not doing any good eating junk all the time not caring about myself, might as well start trying to live healthy.
Other than that, probably stay home this weekend, get some leaves raked, the trees look beautiful up here in the north west at this time of the year.
Got through this stressful week almost. Finished up our meetings and cleaned up and reorganized everything and am now finally done. Its sort of feels like, phew glad that is over with!
CBF - I can relate to the health issues. Its as if the anxiety is starting to quell a bit and now I have to pick up the pieces of my health that were the result of my drinking. I have a vitamin D deficiency as well and am taking a 5000 IU supplement daily for it. I think its helping.
Upwards - I hope your work issue clears up, I know how that feels and the accompanying dread that goes along with it. Hang in there, I for one believe that our jobs dont necessarily define us and these screw ups that happen don't either. Its a rough spot though and I hope it all turns out okay!
Toadie - My parents bought an RV and have used it maybe like once. However as a drinker traveling that way never appealed to me, mostly because I figured Id get a DUI with all that driving. Since I've quit, it sounds very intriguing being on the go. I've known alot of former recovering alcoholics that found some peace in travelling to various areas in the country, after some time spent in their sobriety.
Welp, Hope you all are hanging in there. I'm trying my best to not let things get me down and am recently focusing on a diet. Its keeping my mind off all the hypochondria I deal with. I figure, well if I am sick or not and if its serious or not, then I'm not doing any good eating junk all the time not caring about myself, might as well start trying to live healthy.
Other than that, probably stay home this weekend, get some leaves raked, the trees look beautiful up here in the north west at this time of the year.
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