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Class of July 2015 Part 7

Old 10-16-2015, 04:41 PM
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Hi all, thanks for the support last week. As the weekend approached I was struggling, but feel stronger about not drinking this weekend. Just not in a great mood, but afraid the drinking will make it worse, so almost no temptation.

I really hear everyone about the work issues, I relate to alot of what was said.

I am down but enjoying the Blue Jays playing in the baseball playoffs (I live in Toronto), though I don't like when the fans get nasty and destructive (as they did earlier this week). People get drunk and act like idiots, but the angry destructive ones the worst. I really hope it doesn't continue or get worse as the playoffs continue.

Have a nice night all. I'm curling up with two cats, a blanket, and hopefully a good baseball game.
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Old 10-16-2015, 06:03 PM
  # 442 (permalink)  
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Great Milly! Sounds like a fab night in :-)

Hey guys....I thought this was funny....'laugh therapy'!!

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Old 10-16-2015, 08:31 PM
  # 443 (permalink)  
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Thanks again everyone for the support. Today was a bit better but I still felt easily overwhelmed.
My screwup aside, the business is just plain struggling, and that has a lot to do with things that are out of my control. I guess I hadn't even taken into account how fear for my job security is compounding my stress.

I'm going to have a pow wow with my main co-worker next week.
Other than the fact that these meetings usually see him downing 3 or 4 cocktails and rambling for an hour past when I have drunk all the coffee and water I can stand, I think it will help. I'm still sober, still going to a meeting a day, and getting my 90 day chip this weekend!
Take care guys, sorry for the self centered rants lately. Hope everyone has a good sober weekend!
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Old 10-16-2015, 10:48 PM
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Don't worry about that at all, Upwards. We were just driving home from somewhere and I was thinking to myself about how great it is that we can support each other, and I wondered what my crisis will be when it happens - which it will! It felt nice to know that I will be able to post here and get support when the time comes. It feels like a lovely cross between friends and family :-)

Congrats on the 90 day chip!!!
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Old 10-17-2015, 12:59 AM
  # 445 (permalink)  
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Morning all :-)
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Old 10-17-2015, 02:33 AM
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Another 'Stay Sober Saturday' on the cards for everyone
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Old 10-17-2015, 03:16 AM
  # 447 (permalink)  
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Hope everyone has a wonderful sober Saturday!
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Old 10-17-2015, 03:50 AM
  # 448 (permalink)  
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Ugh you guys. I signed up for a weekend-long meditation class ages ago. Like the full weekend, early morning til late night. Plus it's kind of far away so here I am up at 6:30 on my day off. This is either going to be awesome or terrible!

Upwards, don't apologize for posting about your situation... it's so important to use our support networks! Also I know I learn from hearing other people's struggles and watching how they get through them. So, win-win.

I had my worst-yet drinking dream last night. I dreamt that I'd been drinking again, but like possibly for weeks. I couldn't remember when I'd started again, or how many people knew, or whether I'd messed up at work because of it, I just knew that I was physically dependent again and while other stuff was happening during the dream I kept having to run and sneak vodka. The whole time I was thinking, "this has to be a dream" but then I'd think "no, this time it's real." **shiver

OK. Time to run and then... sit.
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Old 10-17-2015, 03:51 AM
  # 449 (permalink)  
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Happy saturday!! I struggled bad last night
Booze in the house. Tempted me like no other. Outta now where. When i saw beer in the fridge it just reminded me of old times. Crack. Glug next. I was fine after a bit

Happy to spend time with my 2 kids. Wifey left to vegas. Poor woman needs a break. These kids are craxy and hyper. Gonna visit my grandmother today. So blessed with family. I took off tuesday to hopefully see my wife 1 day while i am home. Her sister is celebrating her bday in vegas.
I am glad i was back in my normal time zone to attend the sr meeting last night. Leaving sunday to see a surgeon monday for my 5 year old. Still having a fu god moment
Thinking surgery before xmas but we shall see whag he says. Knowing i am screwed with insurance sky rocketing next year i may look for another job with better benefits to be home. I

Someone said someghing about not making major decisions the first year. I may need to. Unsure what to do. Traveling is tiring and my healthcare costs an exorbitant amount. Takes a toll on my family and I. Now the are thunkjng about more cuts. It may not be worth it. At least i am sober to ponder it. I have had this issue for a while that I didnt want to face.

Have a great Saturday!!
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Old 10-17-2015, 05:20 AM
  # 450 (permalink)  
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Happy Saturday everyone!
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Old 10-17-2015, 05:27 AM
  # 451 (permalink)  
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Thanks everyone, I'm feeling more positive today. I can't change what comes in the door at the shop, I can't change how my boss makes decisions, but I can change my attitude. So that's what I'm going to try to focus on.

Letitgo,
That sounds like a really tough spot to be in. The one year of no change rule seems helpful to put restlessness out of mind, but sometimes life all but demands a change.
It seems like I've been reading about lots of folks on here struggling with whether to change jobs, especially if the end result will be less stress.
Count on the process being stressful, and don't forget to prioritize the plan that you use to stay sober.
Best of luck.
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Old 10-17-2015, 07:44 AM
  # 452 (permalink)  
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Upwards - dont feel bad at all for that, I mope around on here all the time! The support is great though I trust that all of you wont get down on me for it but the opposite, which is so very helpful in bad times that we go through. Just keep letting us know how it goes, we are rooting for ya

Fantail - I hate those dreams too! I dream the exact same, that my sobriety is a lie, and Ive been drinking all along, I dont wake up in a panic, but rather angry, like arrrghhh if these dreams would stop, then the nausea begins!

letitgo, good job on pulling through, i swear you have more strength than me, if i had alcohol anywhere in my vicinity, especially this last week. id probably be in the gutter by now! The big decisions bit has got me too, I almost made a few huge decisions that mightve made my life worse, like quitting my job to sober up, i think its a great idea to give it some time before we do anything drastic. Our addiction will do anything to back us into a corner, its usually then that we make panicked decisions.

Hmm, seems like a cooking type of day, already feeling hungry.

Happy sober saturday all
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Old 10-17-2015, 08:21 AM
  # 453 (permalink)  
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That s a beautiful piano...do you play Holds?
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Old 10-17-2015, 08:29 AM
  # 454 (permalink)  
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Checking in.

There's so much interesting conversation on here. Wish I had more time to focus, but will reread later when I'm back home (am away for the weekend).

In the meantime:

Upwards- Glad you are feeling slightly better. I'll be sending good vibes when you have the powwow next week.

letitgo- Thanks for your candor about the working situation. You had good advice for Upwards, (and a good perspective for me to remember, too)

Shabby- same as above- I appreciate your comments!

cbf- Glad you're back! Take care of yourself.

Holds- You're sounding better. Hang in there.

fantail- I hope you're enjoying your weekend. I know the feeling. My workshop happened to have been canceled (and probably would have been great), but I was dreading it.

Callemilly and letitgo- Enjoy the baseball.

KeyofC- Have a great one!

Toadie- I'm even more jealous now...

Take care, everyone.
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Old 10-17-2015, 10:28 AM
  # 455 (permalink)  
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Hi toki, still have that down feeling and anxious but Im working on overcoming it. Ive had lots of good advice from friends. My mind has had a preoccupation with death. Tomsteve, not sure if youve seen him on here, but he told me about how we can go through worst case scenarios for everything, like my health or something, then I walk out the door and get shot or killed in a car accident etc. We cant let this stuff get us down, and he said, so are you going to think about this or have a great time with your family tonight? I chose the second, although its hard to focus, its getting better,

KeyofC - Yes i do actually, thats a baldwin grand R1 i believe, its my dream to play on something like this someday, so far ive had my enjoyment playing on various old church pianos and keyboards lol, played a grand once before, and it was, amazing.......
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Old 10-17-2015, 02:23 PM
  # 456 (permalink)  
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As I encounter more and more of my various groups of friends and explain that I am abstaining from alcohol, I'm humbled by the amount of people who actually say how proud they are that I'm doing this for myself...never expected that kind of response.

I was always a heavy drinker while camping and bowling for years and years, so it's an unexpected surprise to many of these people.

Bowled last night (2 decent games) and heading back tonight to sub for someone, hoping for lots of strikes!
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Old 10-17-2015, 02:46 PM
  # 457 (permalink)  
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The suggestion is 'no unnecessary changes' letitgo.

For me, it reflects the idea that change can be stressful and that a lot of us can be
impulsive and make sweeping changes before we find out who sober us really is.

Sometimes change is necessary tho. I had to move house in the first 6-8 months.

It was stressful - super stressful - but I didn't drink.
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Old 10-18-2015, 04:19 AM
  # 458 (permalink)  
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Happy 90 days and Congratulations to Key of C!!
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Old 10-18-2015, 04:24 AM
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Hey guys! Today is my 90! Thank you Lord!
Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday!
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Old 10-18-2015, 04:25 AM
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Thank you Let!! ((Hug))!!
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