Class of August 2015 Pt 2
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I don't ask stuff like that to embarrass people 
I really encourage anyone who's slipped to look at what happened and why - it can really help you make a stronger, better recovery plan next time and help you to work out how to make a temporary state of recovery into a permanent one
D
I really encourage anyone who's slipped to look at what happened and why - it can really help you make a stronger, better recovery plan next time and help you to work out how to make a temporary state of recovery into a permanent one
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 654
Hugs everyone. Not sleeping well. Not sure if this is the withdrawal or emotional as last time my sleep was fine though with vivid dreams. I wake up, remember he hates me and feel the loss of that the cosy safe feeling of knowing he was out there missing me. Then can't sleep again as my head gets full of thoughts. All the things I would want to say but can't.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Sorry to hear it DD. Hang in there, and remember, there's lots of great people out there, and I'm sure you'll find someone in due time.
As for update on myself, doing quite well actually. Don't want to say much, because will most likely just get chastised for it. But what the hey, I'm sober as I type this, happy, clear headed, looking better, work is getting done, clients are happy, bills are paid, ambition and self confidence is slowly returning, house is clean, yard is looking great, dogs are happy with full bellies, lots of food in the fridge, so what the hell, can't complain.
Still have quite a bit of work ahead of me to get myself out of this hole, but I'm slowly getting there. It'll happen in time, but will be a while, as I'm in pretty deep.
I'm not 100% abstinent, so I guess you could say I'm moderating, but I view it as quite a bit more than that, as I'm making quite a few changes to my life to ensure I never end up in that pit of despair again. I honestly can't see myself ever going back to that dark place, but if I end up having a few drinks at night a couple times a week, I'm not going to punish myself over it.
As for update on myself, doing quite well actually. Don't want to say much, because will most likely just get chastised for it. But what the hey, I'm sober as I type this, happy, clear headed, looking better, work is getting done, clients are happy, bills are paid, ambition and self confidence is slowly returning, house is clean, yard is looking great, dogs are happy with full bellies, lots of food in the fridge, so what the hell, can't complain.
Still have quite a bit of work ahead of me to get myself out of this hole, but I'm slowly getting there. It'll happen in time, but will be a while, as I'm in pretty deep.
I'm not 100% abstinent, so I guess you could say I'm moderating, but I view it as quite a bit more than that, as I'm making quite a few changes to my life to ensure I never end up in that pit of despair again. I honestly can't see myself ever going back to that dark place, but if I end up having a few drinks at night a couple times a week, I'm not going to punish myself over it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 78
DD I'm so sorry you are having such a rough time. We are all here to listen.
Day 14. Up with one of kids since 6 and so far have baked buns and cookies and I have sorted out a lot of clothes. Very productive morning. Other than a head cold that won't go away I'm feeling very good.
Day 14. Up with one of kids since 6 and so far have baked buns and cookies and I have sorted out a lot of clothes. Very productive morning. Other than a head cold that won't go away I'm feeling very good.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 654
Troy I suggest you go back and read though some of the posts you have made in the past. They may give a good counter argument to the AV telling you you can moderate. Not going to beat you round the head over it though I am sure someone will. I just know so many of us have been there and it doesn't end pretty.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 654
I will get you started Troy
'Honestly, I totally agree with you. I know I'm a hard core alcoholic, it's stolen my life, I can never have a single drink because there's a high potential of it turning into a 2+ week binge, if I continue drinking I'll most likely die in the near future, and so on.'
'Alcoholism is a progressive disease which continually gets worse. Whereas basketball is the other way around, and you progressively get better with practice.
It's up to you to decide whether you can manage your drinking, but as you'll notice this forum is littered with stories of people who have tried, and only ended up digging themselves an even deeper hole then they were originally in.'
Both posted by you Troy
'Honestly, I totally agree with you. I know I'm a hard core alcoholic, it's stolen my life, I can never have a single drink because there's a high potential of it turning into a 2+ week binge, if I continue drinking I'll most likely die in the near future, and so on.'
'Alcoholism is a progressive disease which continually gets worse. Whereas basketball is the other way around, and you progressively get better with practice.
It's up to you to decide whether you can manage your drinking, but as you'll notice this forum is littered with stories of people who have tried, and only ended up digging themselves an even deeper hole then they were originally in.'
Both posted by you Troy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Touche.
I'm honestly doing really well though. Didn't drink yesterday, or the day before, and no plans on drinking today, etc. Sure, there were a couple times I ended up having a few beers, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Plus I am changing my life, and doing everything I can to maintain long-term sobriety.
My end goal here is to live a happy, fulfilling, productive, successful life, and not so much to maintain 100% abstinence. Obviously, drinking doesn't lend itself to my goals, hence why for all intents and purposes, I am staying sober. At the same time, stressing myself out, and counting days, and punishing myself with loathing sadness and depression if I have a few beers one night doesn't help me reach my end goal either.
You know, "ohhh, had a few beers, that's it, destroyed my entire recovery and back to day 1 for me again". How is that possibly healthy?
I'm honestly doing really well though. Didn't drink yesterday, or the day before, and no plans on drinking today, etc. Sure, there were a couple times I ended up having a few beers, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it. Plus I am changing my life, and doing everything I can to maintain long-term sobriety.
My end goal here is to live a happy, fulfilling, productive, successful life, and not so much to maintain 100% abstinence. Obviously, drinking doesn't lend itself to my goals, hence why for all intents and purposes, I am staying sober. At the same time, stressing myself out, and counting days, and punishing myself with loathing sadness and depression if I have a few beers one night doesn't help me reach my end goal either.
You know, "ohhh, had a few beers, that's it, destroyed my entire recovery and back to day 1 for me again". How is that possibly healthy?
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Yeah...look I'm sorry if anyone feels I'm chastising - feel free to PM me btw - but I figure no ones here in this thread because their life is awesome and their drinking is under control.
I'm just trying to offer some real support and experience because I remember how hard it was and how personable and reasonable my inner addict could be..
'psst Dee? wouldn't it be great if you could be this productive and happy... and still have a few drinks?
Best of both worlds man - how can that be wrong, bro?'
It took me 2 decades to accept that scenario was unobtainable and untenable.
I could drink...or be who I wanted to be.
Not both.
That's the bottom line choice we all need to make.
D
I'm just trying to offer some real support and experience because I remember how hard it was and how personable and reasonable my inner addict could be..
'psst Dee? wouldn't it be great if you could be this productive and happy... and still have a few drinks?
Best of both worlds man - how can that be wrong, bro?'
It took me 2 decades to accept that scenario was unobtainable and untenable.
I could drink...or be who I wanted to be.
Not both.
That's the bottom line choice we all need to make.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
No Dee, I didn't mean you personally at all with the "chastise" remark, and my apologies if you took it that way. I just meant, SR in general is 100% abstinence.
I don't know, all I know if I've been trying to quit since March, but continuously relapsed time after time, and by "relapse" I don't mean a few beer. I mean 2 weeks and 15L of whiskey later, I wake up in my bed shaking due to major withdrawals.
For all intents and purposes, I've been sober since Aug 2nd, and plan to keep it that way. Me reverting back to my previous self seems like an impossibility now. And I think one of the reasons I am doing so well this time, is because I'm not allowing myself to stress myself out due to my recovery. For me personally at least, I believe putting that level of stress on yourself is quite detrimental to recovery. Sure I still have to fight off cravings and everything, but at the same time, the amount of stress isn't there compared to previous times.
Time will tell I guess.
I don't know, all I know if I've been trying to quit since March, but continuously relapsed time after time, and by "relapse" I don't mean a few beer. I mean 2 weeks and 15L of whiskey later, I wake up in my bed shaking due to major withdrawals.
For all intents and purposes, I've been sober since Aug 2nd, and plan to keep it that way. Me reverting back to my previous self seems like an impossibility now. And I think one of the reasons I am doing so well this time, is because I'm not allowing myself to stress myself out due to my recovery. For me personally at least, I believe putting that level of stress on yourself is quite detrimental to recovery. Sure I still have to fight off cravings and everything, but at the same time, the amount of stress isn't there compared to previous times.
Time will tell I guess.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Well every other Thursday is my day off as was yesterday. I spent it with my Mom who I have had an on again off again relationship since I was born I presume. We are always struggling trying to work on our relationship. I envy anyone who has a strong positive relationship with their Mom. I've always longed for it.
Also went to see my brother in law in the hospital who is recovering from a major emergency head surgery and he was on Day 4. He finally is making progress and seems he will make a good recovery.
Day 25 for me and though I fight bad feelings negative thinking and triggers I am doing great here! I am glad each day I wake up alcohol free and for every day spent without it controlling my life!
Also went to see my brother in law in the hospital who is recovering from a major emergency head surgery and he was on Day 4. He finally is making progress and seems he will make a good recovery.
Day 25 for me and though I fight bad feelings negative thinking and triggers I am doing great here! I am glad each day I wake up alcohol free and for every day spent without it controlling my life!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Just a thought. If anyone ever has thought they may have a problem with alcohol, you probably do. To my knowledge, moderation only works for a while then will rear its ugly head for what it is, alcoholism. A regular drinker never had to second guess themselves or join a support group to moderate. Heck they automatically moderate and don't have to think about it. I myself spent years trying to drink normally and boy did I ever try to moderate it. I failed miserably. Let myself down and those around me for yet another failed attempt to control my disease that no one understands. I cannot keep beating myself up trying to be normal at something I can't control. Can't. Or punishing people in my life trying to control it. I don't think there's much grey area when it comes being clean and/or sober. Just my opinion.
Learning to LIve
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NSW Australia
Posts: 908
Hi everyone .. 3 years ago i first posted in the August 2012 class .... this week I celebrate 3 years sober ... all because of the support and advice I found on this site... the August 2012 class became my cyber family sharing the daily challenges we all faced in early sobriety ... sharing strategies and devising sobriety plans .... I invite you all to join us in the chat room especially if the urge to drink kicks in the people there have helped 
my AV many a timesand talked me through some dicey situations... helping me build my sober muscles one day at a time
You are all so lucky to find this site ... I know I owe my sobriety to such good fortune.. i wish you all best in your battle for sobriety and just wanted to drop in and let you know ... YOU CAN WIN !
I suggest you POST ...POST and POST some more ... listen to
and come say "Hi" in chat
Cheers
my AV many a timesand talked me through some dicey situations... helping me build my sober muscles one day at a timeYou are all so lucky to find this site ... I know I owe my sobriety to such good fortune.. i wish you all best in your battle for sobriety and just wanted to drop in and let you know ... YOU CAN WIN !
I suggest you POST ...POST and POST some more ... listen to
and come say "Hi" in chat Cheers
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 254
Congratulations on 25 days KeyofC... I hope your issues with your mom can ve smoothed out one day though I'm finding that family issues are part of the package deal and can last forever. It's up to us on how we react to them.
DitzyDandelion keep up the good work, I hope you feel better soon.
I had a lovely evening last night, went to a womens meeting and even dressed up for it, and then came home and made a nice dinner and read a bunch online and real books which is a bit of a miracle, I picked up reading books again after a long hiatus because I didn't have the attention span or patience to sit still and focus anymore due to drinking and high stress levels. I'm looking forward to a smoke-free day of cleaning and laundry and do some writing for my Staying Sober Action Plan like How to cope with sudden urges to buy a bottle or box of wine when I'm at the store and HALT is setting in? I'll let you know how it goes. Stay positive everyone!
DitzyDandelion keep up the good work, I hope you feel better soon.
I had a lovely evening last night, went to a womens meeting and even dressed up for it, and then came home and made a nice dinner and read a bunch online and real books which is a bit of a miracle, I picked up reading books again after a long hiatus because I didn't have the attention span or patience to sit still and focus anymore due to drinking and high stress levels. I'm looking forward to a smoke-free day of cleaning and laundry and do some writing for my Staying Sober Action Plan like How to cope with sudden urges to buy a bottle or box of wine when I'm at the store and HALT is setting in? I'll let you know how it goes. Stay positive everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Good morning all,
Welcome back James squire...I remember you from January class as well. Glad you are here.
Lots of banter about drinking in moderation. My thoughts are, if you can do that Troy and it wirks for you, then go ahead. I'm actually envious. There have been times over these past 4 years where I would secretly drink 1 night and then not again for a month. I would think, "hey, I can do this" . For me, it always eventually turned disastrous . One issue for me is that I always drink secretively. My family hates when I drink so I won't drink in front of them. I haven't had a drink in public in over 10 years. I originally got sober 10 years ago with AA because they forced me there. I did stick with it for5 years and I did stop drinking!! I ever really liked it and will not return. That is no judgement of the program....as I said...I did stop drinking. I won't get into why I won't return.
I have found SR to bea great tool. I used this alone from january to June. I stopped posting in my January class and chose to drink this summer.
I love that there is no judgement here and constant support. You guys are terrific!!
It's Friday....a tough time for some.
Let's make it a great weekend
Thanks for listening and have a sober Friday xo
Welcome back James squire...I remember you from January class as well. Glad you are here.
Lots of banter about drinking in moderation. My thoughts are, if you can do that Troy and it wirks for you, then go ahead. I'm actually envious. There have been times over these past 4 years where I would secretly drink 1 night and then not again for a month. I would think, "hey, I can do this" . For me, it always eventually turned disastrous . One issue for me is that I always drink secretively. My family hates when I drink so I won't drink in front of them. I haven't had a drink in public in over 10 years. I originally got sober 10 years ago with AA because they forced me there. I did stick with it for5 years and I did stop drinking!! I ever really liked it and will not return. That is no judgement of the program....as I said...I did stop drinking. I won't get into why I won't return.
I have found SR to bea great tool. I used this alone from january to June. I stopped posting in my January class and chose to drink this summer.
I love that there is no judgement here and constant support. You guys are terrific!!
It's Friday....a tough time for some.
Let's make it a great weekend
Thanks for listening and have a sober Friday xo
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
