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Class of August 2015 Pt 2

Old 08-13-2015, 08:26 AM
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Hello class, I'm back to Day 1.. Not where I want to be but not gonna beat myself up but get back up! I went to dinner and a concert and had planned to order tonic and lime, but when my friend ordered wine, I said I'll have a glass too, just like that AV said you don't drink too much on an evening out so why not? Av whispered to me and I listened

I'm glad I don't have any more social situations like this coming up soon, don't think I'm ready,and I thought I was! Already decided to avoid a Labor Day party we were invited to. I don't want make it easy to be the secret by the bottle guzzler at home again , so not entertaining the thought of anything but abstinence. Today is trash day, when previously I would go around collecting hidden bottles to put in recycle bin after spouse left for work. Do not want to be in that horrible place again!

What I could have done last night was right when we sat down just said I'm not having wine, had a headache today or something, without having to get into the fact I'm an alcoholic. So lesson learned. I still am not comfortable making announcements or discussing my sobriety plan and drinking problem. I have told a couple friends, but the resultant questioning is tiresome (omg I had no idea, how many a day, why, who knows, etc etc, have you done this or that) and many questions in a row makes me anxious.. ... It's a childhood trigger thing. Then it's hard to say to the friend who is well meaning and caring, please no more questions, so for me it's best to stay private until I can handle the questioning.

I've not managed a week yet since a couple of weeks in July and not happy about that, but relieved when I have caved to AV I have been able to stop without getting wasted or continuing on a binge. So slow and steady progress I guess, not the quick sprint to permanent sobriety I was hoping. but there it is, not defeated by any means, or accepting that social drinking will be okay for me. It's not.

Thanks all you lovely folks for being here. JL, DD, hang on, you can ride out the lows!
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Old 08-13-2015, 08:29 AM
  # 282 (permalink)  
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At least your sticking with us Sadie. Lets beat that couple of weeks in July together.
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Old 08-13-2015, 08:50 AM
  # 283 (permalink)  
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My wife booked a room at an inclusive waterpark resort for Saturday. 3 hr drive, and we don't really have the money, but I'm thinking that owing money ( big worry-trigger ), is just always gonna be there for people of our financial level. We've not been on a vacation in 3 yrs. Our youngest boys are 2 and 7, next month.
I think it may be time to make memories for, and with the children, and hang the costs. I'm not a spender per say, but I probably just saved money so I could drink it away. If I'm gonna hold on to any positive change I've got to look differently at what's important. I think I'm doing right with a more menial paying job, but better benefits and a pension. I'm not finding much in the way of sound advice, simply because people are just people and were all human.
Actually I've met a few people on here that have a lot of good intentioned thoughts, I guess because there no negative social issues in a faceless forum.; just people with a common goal, and problems that others can.
.........
Wow. I just got cursed out by a person because road equipment in on their property. What a day. They wanted to fight and so I drove off and called the supervisors. What a day.
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Old 08-13-2015, 09:43 AM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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Just popping in to say "Hi!" Super busy lately. Day 13 here! Whoo Hooo!
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Old 08-13-2015, 09:53 AM
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Day 1 here! I'm ready to fight this and so glad I'm amongst friends. I'm rooting for all of us.
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Old 08-13-2015, 09:56 AM
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Hi all. Day six for me. Feeling so many common feelings with the rest of you.

Emotional rollercoaster.

Dealing with stress and craziness at work without numbing myself at night.

Anxiety.

Obsessing in my mind about not drinking.

Trying to just keep focusing on the now and not on what my birthday will be like without a celebratory drink, or the holidays, or the trip next year, etc etc. Keep telling myself that today I will not drink today and that is enough.
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Old 08-13-2015, 09:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Ditchingthewine View Post
Day 1 here! I'm ready to fight this and so glad I'm amongst friends. I'm rooting for all of us.
Welcome to the group - glad you are here
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Old 08-13-2015, 10:03 AM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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Welcome ditchingthewine
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Old 08-13-2015, 10:04 AM
  # 289 (permalink)  
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Just went to an AA meeting, and I didn't like it. I got up and left. I don't know if that's a reflection on the people there or me. I don't even want to think about it right now.

Hope everyone is having a better day than me.
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Old 08-13-2015, 10:32 AM
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I just poured down the rest of the wine down the sink.
I can't keep living like this. I feel so useless..
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Old 08-13-2015, 10:52 AM
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And then (sorry for being disgusting) I had to run to the toilet to puke,
I feel slightly better now (getting it out).

Day one sober tomorrow. I need to do this
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Old 08-13-2015, 11:03 AM
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Hi all. Just checking in. I know my updates are quite boring. Day 13. My husband asked me today did I miss the wine. I was able to honestly answer no. I don't particularly miss it at all. But I do randomly imagine drinking a glass of white wine in the sun. Romanticising it I imagine.

I am getting better at focusing on the day in hand. Not drinking now. I never really got the one day at a time thing but I do now.
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Old 08-13-2015, 11:24 AM
  # 293 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Willow3 View Post
I am getting better at focusing on the day in hand. Not drinking now. I never really got the one day at a time thing but I do now.
Willow 3 I make a vow every morning that "I will not go to bed drunk tonight". That helps me with the one day at a time thing. Maybe you can use it too.
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Old 08-13-2015, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by beerbgone View Post
Willow 3 I make a vow every morning that "I will not go to bed drunk tonight". That helps me with the one day at a time thing. Maybe you can use it too.
I'm on day 98 here. Making a daily public commitment to my sobriety here on SR in the 24 Hour thread has been a great reminder for me that long term recovery is best achieved one day at a time. Here's a link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...part-72-a.html
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:05 PM
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Had a nice little family meet up this evening. As I had done my little Facebook announcement I was simply offered a choice of non alcoholic drinks without anyone making a big deal. Dad never drinks anyway and sis in law can't cause of her meds. She was the only one who discussed drinking with me but we talk a lot about loads anyway. She understood my decision. Nice to see anyone though as the other family members were drinking I missed it a little bit. But hey I didn't get sloshed and spill wine on the carpet this time.
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:24 PM
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Off to bed in a little while. Have cleaned the kitchen counter and put out a cup with a teabag in it for tomorrow. That's gonna be the first thing I'm doing tomorrow.. Make a cup of tea, get dressed and STAY sober. Will check in tomorrow
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:26 PM
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Welcome ditchingthewine, and welcome back Nerida.

It's really hard in the beginning, but it really will get easier, guys.

I found it helped me to simplify things to basics.

I had a little prayer/mantra that went something like this

I must not drink if I want change.
I can deal with cravings - there's a great list here

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

and I can deal with stress and strong emotions, because I know they pass.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...e-surfing.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...44-stress.html

I know I have support here at SR 24/7, and lots of real life places to find support too.

Things will get better, so long as I commit to change and do not drink.

I can drink...or I can be the person I know I am and I want to be - but not both.
D
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:39 PM
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Welcome ditcingthewine and Neruda...welcome back Sadie,
Nothing to report on day 13 ...just the same cravings that seem to be haunting many if us.

Stay sober and have a good evening
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:41 PM
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I'm not gonna lie, I just went on a store run. I got half way there and turned around came home. Went for a walk. It's getting real
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Old 08-13-2015, 02:41 PM
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Hello, man Im glad yesterday is over, Hangovers suck! And all the self loathing sucks too.

Just a quick check in. I'm staying sober today.
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