GnikNus

Checking in at 211 days. Enjoying my first sober summer in 18 years. This summer is a mixed bag of good things, favorite summer rituals, and uncertainty regarding the future and how long my family will be in what I have come to regard as a cherished place. Faced with a possible move, I'm determined to remain alcohol free and work through things as they come. For years my wife has wanted to return east to be closer to family, and I've come to regard the west coast as home after 12 years. There's a chance we may have to head back this summer due to job related issues.

There would be advantages and things back home I've missed, but it's scary to think what we'd leave behind. Regardless, sobriety is the main priority.
Hope everyone (in the northern hemisphere) is enjoying summer.

Cauliflower

Hello, this is my first time posting in this tread. I really had a scare yesterday, and it is leaving me feeling vulnerable today. I am at day 70 today, hard to believe it but it`s true. I came so close to giving it all up last night. It was the second very very close call. I`m just grateful I didn`t drink. It`s scary to think that a relapse could happen so easily.

Gilmer

Welcome, Cauliflower! So glad you made it!

Cauliflower

OMG, me too. It just stared me in the face and I was so tempted to say sure, I`ll try your wine. I just about gave up everything in that second. I guess it`s a good wake up call, that I am not in the safe zone yet. I don`t know if I will ever be in the safe zone. It`s frustrating to think that I will have this struggle for who knows how long.

CaseyW

Starting day 54 here. Everything is going good. Definitely settled into the new job, to the point where I won't be able to call it the new job much longer. Wishing everyone here a safe and sober Tuesday!

site -- Welcome! (Don't tell the others but you're my favorite classmate in May.) So glad to see you every time you post!

I am pretty sure I was also in the April class at some point. I know for sure I was in January and March.

GnikNus -- congrats on 211 days. Keep us updated on your move situation!

Cauliflower -- congrats on 70 days! Glad you made the decision to not take that first drink. Don't be afraid to run in here or the busier Newcomers forum and post once a minute if necessary if those cravings come back. We're here for you.

Don't worry about the cravings staying forever. How long did you drink? I'm guessing it was a lot longer than 70 days. While 70 days is a tremendous amount of time to be sober, it's still early compared to how long you drank. Keep on the right path!

amp123

Hey Cauliflower! Good to see you here! What happened yesterday?

Cauliflower

We went to a bbq at a Hutterite colony! I felt like it should have been the safest place to be on earth. I didn`t even think they drank? They are so religious. I just feel kind of vulnerable, not that I would go out and buy some wine or anything, but just a little shaken this morning that I almost gave in. It was too easy. I guess it's just a wake up call. I am definitely not cured! Wine is my vice, if it was anything else, I wouldn't even bat an eye. At about week one I was ready to say screw it, and have a glass of wine at a dance, but thankfully, the bar didn't stock wine. I hate this feeling of being on edge. I didn't drink, and it almost feels like I am starting from day one. Time to pull out my plan and read everything again. It's just scary that a relapse could happen at anytime. I was just not prepared.

amp123

I think, Cauliflower, that it's very easy to relax and that can be dangerous. The other day I ordered an alcohol free beer and by mistake was served one with alcohol in it. After the first sip I knew what it was... THE MOST DANGEROUS THING IN THE ROOM!

It took a lot of will power to send it back and that was a close call. If I hadn't had my strategies in place that would have been it for me! I dedicate a short time each morning to thinking about why I'm not going to drink today and mentally preparing myself. It's important to keep it fresh or it can take you by surprise!

Well done for getting through it! We are still so very fragile! A lot of people say that at around three months things level out a bit. Hope so! Congrats on your 70 days!!

Soberwolf

Welcome Cauliflower

Cauliflower

Feeling better....just need to get my sober legs back! I am going into the city to run some errands, then I am going to relax and do some deep meditation for the rest of the day. Thankful for SR, my sobriety, and for S.Pellegrino with lemon. Never giving up, and never letting my guard down!

Saskia

Welcome, Cauliflower! It is so easy to get lulled into overconfidence. I once went 13 years and then relapsed after one glass of wine. That doesn't mean I had cravings all of that time, though! I've come to accept that there are no guarantees in life. This last time I found it particularly difficult work to stay sober again. It took SR, intensive outpatient program and AA to get the job done. I had a very brief slip a month or two ago but managed to enlist all of my supports and got back on track very quickly. In IOP, we learned about the cycle of relapse and strategies for dealing with each part of the cycle. That has helped enormously, along with being totally honest with my docs.

I don't stay on high alert but do stay mindful of the consequences. I love my sober life too much to put it at risk again.

tootsl1

Welcome Site and Cauliflower

Well done on not giving in to temptation Cauli, I know you are feeling super vulnerable just now, but please count it as a victory, you were tempted and you said no! That means you are getting stronger all the time.

Amp, that beer sounds way too close for comfort. Kudos on turning it away.

BeFree, how's it going Hun?

GroundhogDay

Cauliflower, SanPelligrino Limonata is my favorite beverage. I limit myself to one a day. Otherwise, I will have a new addiction on my hands, lol.

Officially six months' sobriety today. Seems like I have been "almost" six months sober forever. I really don't feel tempted much these days.

Dee74

Congrats GHD

D

BoozeFree

GHD congrats on 6 months sober! That's awesome.

Cauliflower good job not drinking.

I stayed home from womp today due to I think a stomach flu. Still feeling really sick but going to try and work tomorrow.

CaseyW

Congrats on six months, GroundhogDay! That is truly awe-inspiring.

Finishing up day 54 here. Good solid basic day. Messed around the house all morning/afternoon, worked this evening. Off the next two days and I am so ready to hit a meeting or two.

IWLSAST

Good morning, Undies. Welcome to site and cauli.

Today is my last day of vacation in Florida. I've had a blast visiting with my sister the past few days. Yeaterday I hung out with a high school friend at his beach condo. Today we are hitting the beach then play 9. Tomorrow back to my reality in PA and a 6 am body pump class.

By far the highlight of my trip was hanging out with a couple SR peeps. We ate oysters, did some yoga, boated, walked, cooked, shopped, played music and toured together. We rocked the sober life.

The AA meeting I attended yesterday spoke directly to that point. It says in tge Big Book that we are not a glum lot...so true. Since getting sober about 25 months ago I have found joy and happiness....and, oh yeah...freedom. just like Denzel Washington says from prison in the final scene of tge movie"Flight" ...here I am telling my story in prison and I never felt so free.

On the relapse front...my last two relapses lasted 8 months each...plenty of tine to find new lows. Tge strange thing was that I was 16 and 13 months sober when I drank. Both of those days I woke up with the sane conviction to sobriety I had tge previous day...zero thoughts of drinking that day....but I did!

Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful and I caved. Today I have a stronger toolbox thanks to the fellowship of AA and when a strong craving hits, I have many tools to help fend it off.

I am not suggesting that AA is the only way to get or stay sober...it is simply my way. I can only offer my own experience, strength and hope.

Sorry for any typos or mistakes. ..posted via my phone. Anyway, enjoy this gift of sobriety we have given ourselves today!

Carlos

site1Q84

Haha Casey, thanks. Same to you. Maybe it's because we both talk a lot?

Cauliflower, good job on getting through that! Those close calls are no fun. I once heard someone say that the longer you're sober the closer you are to having a drink. I try remember and keep my guard up. Once we get comfortable and step back from the things that worked for us, I think that's when problems hit. Keep posting! We're here for you. Even if it's just a quick check in, it's a good mental reminder of staying sober. I'm on a fizzy lemon water kick as well. I always liked sparkling water, but man, add some lemon in there and I go through like 6 a day! At least I'm well hydrated?

Amp, you have SO much more will power than me! I couldn't even have a sip on NA, let alone real beer! It would definitely all go out the window. Nice job!!

I feel like every little win over the AV makes me a bit stronger. It's like working out. Practice makes perfect!

Congrats on 6 months, GHD! That's inspiring. Keep it up.

Carlos, glad you enjoyed your vacation! It's always so sad heading home, isn't it?

Day 50 for me. Nothing too exciting to report, just enjoying some beautiful weather and a good book.

Saskia

GHD, congrats on 6 months! That is a really good milestone.

And congrats to all of us for being sober another day! I love that we are getting more active again here.

I've been reading and sometimes responding to the Newcomer's threads - both first time on SR and those who are back after a relapse. Some are so hard to read but they leave me feeling stronger, if that's possible, about staying sober. It's heartbreaking to see how many struggle with this miserable disease and go through relapse after relapse. I am so thankful for my "home" thread and this one, too. We share not only challenges but joys and milestones as well. I'm not sure I could manage the newcomers' threads without my two wonderful support groups here. Thanks to all!

CaseyW

May 2015, July 2013, and this thread are my home here on SR but active participation in the Newcomers forum is the heart of my recovery this time. Yes, there's a lot of pain and heartbreak there, but there's also a lot of hope. It's awesome to see when that light clicks on for another addict as the possibility of real recovery becomes true for them. Plus I won't lie--it feels really good when I feel like I play a small part in keeping another addict sober/clean one more day. Daily reading and participating in the Newcomers forum is what keeps me sober.

There's a ton of power in the simple act of one recovering addict helping another. If you don't go to read and/or participate in the Newcomers forum anymore, I suggest you take 10-20 minutes a day and do so. Even if all you do is say "welcome" to someone posting for the first time here, it can make a huge difference in your own recovery. In my opinion, of course.

On day 55 here. Wishing everyone a safe and sober Wednesday!