AGAGONNHOJ

In fact, **** it, I'm going to go and buy a bottle of tea. I've done more than enough exercise - and I don't take food after mid-day (Buddhist monks here, in an effort to reduce attachment/cravings for food, don't take food after mid-day; when I stayed at the monastery near Mae Hong Son, we lived the same as the monks - and I try to hold to the Monk's diet still, most of the time).

So reckon I can more than justify it. Back in a few mins, on way to the 7/11.

CaseyW

Though I most definitely didn't drink last night and I had a solid night's sleep, I woke up this morning feeling almost hungover. Very very dehydrated mostly but also a little headache. Just drank two huge glasses of water and took a couple of ibuprofen. On the bright side, it's nice to be able to take an ibuprofen when I need it without having to wonder if my liver is going to be able to handle it after whatever massive amounts of booze I ingested the night before.

Welcome to all the newcomers! And sorry to hear that some of my fellow Mayvens drank yesterday, but I'm glad that you were able to come back in here and admit it. Today's a new day. I highly highly suggest that next time that craving comes on, you run in here and post first. It worked for me last week anytime I had cravings, got some good advice when I did this and probably more than that it just gave me a chance to pause and think the drink thru to all its probable consequences.

Anyways, enough ramblings. Starting day 11 now. Wishing everyone a happy and sober Monday morning or evening or whatever it is in your part of the world!

opalblue

Hi all,
Always good to read everyone's posts. I was going to go for a run after work but I am shattered. I almost feel hungover too...without the headache.

Oh well. Just got to go gentle on myself. My cravings arnt as strong today and I think I will manage up to Thursday but I know that the AV will suddenly start shouting at me on Friday.

Cissy

It doesn't matter how loud or how persistent IT is, we are stronger and we are in control of "it." I know it's easy to say that when we aren't under the gun, but that's the time when we have to remind ourselves of those facts.

You're going to be sober on Friday. I guarantee it.

Cissy

Hi, everyone. Day 12 here for me. I found the day counter that SR has and I use that now. I just plug in the date and it does the counting for me. What a load off, cause as time goes by, that number is just going to get exponentially bigger! All I have to do is have a sober day today to make that happen.

Funny that a few of you woke up feeling a bit hungover. I hope that feeling wears off quickly. I take so much stuff to help me fall asleep that waking up with a heady feeling is par for the course to me. In fact, my sleeping meds will finally arrive by the end of the week and I can stop taking Melatonin and that herbal sleeping liquid. But I'm thankful that they have been helping me.

I'm sorry to hear that we had a few give in to temptation yesterday but as was already said, it could be worse. They could have started counting days but in the other direction. As long as they come back, admit they did it and stay in the game, eventually they'll get tired of repeating those single digit days of recovery. I know I'm tired of starting over. It only gets harder and the lapses can last for years.

Anyway, I'm glad we have some more newbies and that we're all together like we should be. Welcome to a brand new week.

nmd

Thanks site1Q84, wish I had headed your advice yesterday.

I can second the HALT thing. None of these things will make you relapse, but letting it all build up, not having a solid foundation to deal with situations, all spell trouble. I'm in the let myself overindulge on food in early sobriety camp. I try to eat clean and get some exercise, but low blood sugar gives me an almost manic urges, which can lead me to drink.

Yesterday, I was extremely tired, stressed, and not on steady ground sober wise.

Attempting to moderate unfortunately "feeds the beast" too. Cravings are bad in early sobriety and a couple drinks can bring that back in a short time. I managed 3 months last September and found the first month to be the hardest, the second month almost easy. By the third month I was confident and I let in thoughts of special occasion drinking. By Thanksgiving (Nov 27) I let myself "slip" with a glass of wine. That was all it took to start the obsessive thoughts about when my next drink would be.

I'm quitting drinking completely and quitting for good. I'm officially back on day 1, but I'm not sure days really matter, the commitment to stay sober does.


On another subject, as far as the waking up feeling "hung over" when sober, I personally have sleep apnea (and use a cpap) and the morning headaches and grogginess from apnea can feel very much like a hangover. Not a bad idea to do a sleep study if you snore heavily and have never had one. Untreated apnea can also can give me the early morning 2-3am wake-up with my heart racing, which feels like waking up after a hard night drinking.

RussC

So true nmd. I had a good six months under my belt last year, then thought I could have a few beers at some football games. Then wine at the holidays. Then down the slope I went till now.

Back to day 1.

DariaM

Just popping in here to say hello and join the thread! Today is my day 1. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you!

Need to get up and moving here soon. I'm sitting at home (took a mental health day today), still in my PJs, drinking coffee. Woke up at 3 AM entirely disgusted with myself for tossing a week of sobriety out the window for 3 beers last night. Wasn't a ton of alcohol, and I wasn't all that drunk, but still mad at myself.

nmd

Welcome DariaM and RussC!

RussC, your story is a lot like mine. I turned 40 last year, good family, job, no "serious" consequences to drinking... yet. In reality though, I'm divorced, and I've wasted so much of my life (and my children's lfe) drinking, and it keeps getting worse with time. I want a better life.

RussC

Me too! That is one of my motivating things I've written down this morning. I get abrupt, short, irritable, etc. with my kids and wife when I drink and the morning after and those aren't the relationships I want to have with them.

CaseyW

Welcome Daria and Russ! Post often please!

Copper442

Welcome to the new members.

Thanks Cissy and JL for your kind words.

I'm really not sure what happened. Family stress and withdrawals just got to me. I didn't even want to drink but I shut my brain off and the next thing I know I was drinking a beer. I've tweaked my plan. Hopefully that will do the trick. I'm rather disgusted with myself so I'm just trying to go easy on myself and hunker down for the next few unpleasant days until the worst of the physical stuff is over.

CaseyW

Filled out an application and had a preliminary interview with my first job choice a little bit ago. It went well. Have an interview tomorrow afternoon with the general manager who was off today. My friend who already works there says it's just a formality. Hope so.

Going to watch last night's Game of Thrones now. Hope everyone is having a nice and sober Monday so far.

site1Q84

Cissy, where is this day counter that you speak of? That sounds fantastic!

Welcome to all our newcomers! Happy to have you all on board.

Sorry to hear about the few slips ups, but coming back here and facing it is definitely the right move. Having to come on here and admit it, and then change my sobriety date on my profile makes me feel so bad that I try and remember that when I have cravings. Speaking of...

I had a nightmare last night that I was on a ferry in NYC with someone and we ordered a pizza. When the waiter brought it out they set beers in front of each of us, but I was so excited about the pizza I didn't notice. I took a bite and it was really hot so I grabbed the drink to wash it down and realized too late it was alcohol. Spent the next 30-ish dream minutes frantically trying to get on SR to tell you all I messed up again. My phone wouldn't work and I ended up on one of those really old Macintosh computers (circa '95). My friend was not thrilled but I finally managed to get online and post in here that I accidentally had a sip of beer.

Boy it's nice to wake up from those! That one actually made me chuckle when I woke up.

I finally made it Monday-Monday. Woohoo! I think I have 18 of 20 days, and the last 8 in a row, so I'm excited.

CaseyW

Congrats on making it thru the weekend sober! I know that was a huge hurdle for you to jump for the first time.

Feeling some slight twinges of a craving of a sort coming off and on right now. Nothing major--just a passing thought that a drink would be nice right now and a visualization of me sitting at my old favorite bar on a slow afternoon like this. (Luckily that bar is 300 miles away.) I think it's partly just coming off the high of going to apply for that job. I'm not going to take that drink though, just trying to remember now how horrible I felt on the morning of May 8 after my bender of the night before (and the thousands of other benders before that, of course.) I know I don't ever have to feel that way again if I don't want to. A drink is not going to make this afternoon any better and it could definitely make it a whole lot worse.

Incontrol15

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site1Q84

Well good choice coming on here Casey.
I generally drank for every reason imaginable, but celebrating/as a reward was always a big one. Finished a task? Have a drink. Job interview? Have a drink.
It's ridiculous now thinking about the things I used to drink to celebrate haha

Incontrol15

Lol site. So true. How about the failures too. Didn't get the job...have a drink. Got nothing done today (too busy drinking)...have a drink.

Or..it's a nice day. Or lousy day. Any day ending in 'day'.

For me, finding a new reward was the trickiest. At first nothing works. After time though, even relaxing, or chocolate, or making a trip for a unique soda works now.

It's awesome being sober.

opalblue

Site I gave myself any excuse. Infact the more difficult my day was, the more I thought I deserved that bottle of wine on a Tuesday night, which led to drinking Wednesday night, then to Thursday night, then may as well drink till the end of the week and start fresh Monday. Then monday comes and I find another excuse to drink....

Then four months later and I am still trying to stop but still finding excuses to drink.

I totally accept that I need to quit drinking fir good. I have tried moderating for the past ten years and it doesn't work for me.

I actually hate the stuff

opalblue

I agree with you. It's awesome being sober. Even if I feel miserable, it's still awesome to face it sober. I am so tired of myself playing that same record over and over again