LaViva

Starting Day 3! I was reminded of how committed I need to be to this when I took a good look in the mirror this morning and say the rosacea (not terrible, but definitely there) on my cheeks and around my nose. I had always thought that my skin was just changing with ageing. Since doing more reading, I'm realizing that it's likely more alcohol related. EEK! 5 years ago I never wore make-up and now I have to wear makeup everyday just to make my skintone look even. SUCKS! I hope it's reversible ...

Mel12

Dear LaViva,

I hear you! Alcohol is an Eveready Bunny Ugly Stick (tm) that never stops its infernal beating, even after one needs to escalate from makeup to the brown paper bag over the head.

Of course, I started out needing the paper bag over the head--and will probably always need it--but I still think I know what I am talking about here because my careful exercise and diet records show quantitatively the horrible effect alcohol was having on my body's hydration. I realize hydration is but one part of skin health. On the other hand, if hydration levels are so bad that one's face is shriveling like a raisin in the sun, with a W. C. Fields nose photoshopped on front for good measure, just imagine what the internal tissues are suffering. For instance, the tissues needed to stay alive. Not to mention the correlation of poor hydration with weight management problems.

Thanks for posting!

Mel

Cecilia44

And .... on to Day 2 today. Feel a heck of a lot better than yesterday, that is for sure, but woke up with overall body aches and maybe have a bit of a mild headache going still. But, I slept o.k. and hope to feel better and better as the day and days wear on.

Hugs to all the Marchers! Moving forward!

Mel12

Dear DreaJean,

My stomach hurt when I read of the pain you felt from hearing you were the subject of a bad alcohol story. I then remembered how I would use twinges of pain to justify "having another."

But by the end of your message, I was feeling inspired: instead of using pain as an excuse for another drink, you have a great plan to go to meetings and SR. You and I never have to feel that pain again. Hooray!

Mel

peanutbutters

Day 3. Had a hard time sleeping last night. I'm not weepy today, so that's good. I am tired but haven't had a gallon of coffee yet like I usually enjoy.

Plan is to go to my first meeting today at noon.

happytobealive1

I made it through the evening yesterday! Success, success, high fives all around. Woke up this morning feeling SO much better.

Then slipped a bit. Just a bit, again, just a bit---and to be fair, it's a bit more complicated with compulsive eating, as I do have to continue eating morning, noon, and night, but I don't have to stuff my face and I do have to respect my fullness.

I'm so glad for this forum. It helps so much to think about posting---will I be able to say that I did it? will I have to confess that I lapsed? I'm planning to get back on track now and have a positive rest of the day. Just noticing these things, realizing what I do and why I do it, feels like a huge step forward towards regaining my life.

Gracie77

Day 4, had a terrible day at work and that's when I usually start drinking as soon as I get home. My AV has been going off all day. Instead I'm going reading SR and drink green tea. I hope the cravings calm down soon.

NikTes

Day 3. Some of you mentioned not yet being able to tell loved ones you are cutting alcohol out of your life. Thanks for mentioning that. I'm feeling the same. The truth will out at some point. I'm just not ready to have the conversation. Birthday party tonight for a family member. Usually I'd prime with a couple of large glasses of wine before heading over (to ease social phobia... the anxiety is there even amongst family), and then of course, having more on arrival. Won't be doing that tonight. Feeling good about it. Will dodge their questions about why I'm abstaining.

p.s. withdrawal symptom update: vivid strange nightmares, nightsweats (though not as bad as the first two nights), heart palpitations are still thumping (the worst part, I think).

NikTes

Sorry you had a bad day at work, Gracie. How was the tea?

Soberjoy1

Hi everyone, I'm joining in. I joined February midway through the month, but didn't get active there. February wasn't the best month for me. Starting again, and ready to give this my all. I know now that I cannot drink, EVER. It has taken me months to finally accept that fact. My life depends on it.

happytobealive1

Sorry to hear about your day, Gracie! Hope the tea makes the world seem like a better place again. Is there anything you can do to have something else to focus on? A great (sober) movie, a walk in a park, reading a really exciting book, a bracing run, calling a friend, etc.? I often find that just sitting and trying not to think about it is like trying not to think about a pink elephant---you just did, didn't you? My go-to coping strategies are journaling, running, and creative projects (art, writing, etc.). What are yours?

Glad to hear from you, Soberjoy! I doubt you're the only one who had a lousy February. Here's hoping that the sun and warmth of March will give all of us some extra resiliency.

JD4010

On Day 8...the last two evenings have been tough. And I'm getting slammed here at work today, so tonight won't be a piece of cake either.

However, it is nice to be reasonably sharp witted at work for a change.

NikTes

Welcome, Soberjoy!

NikTes

Hi JD, maybe on our rough days we can somehow find ways to treat ourselves extra kindly? Sorry the last two evenings have been rough. Mornings are typically mine hard spots. Difficult to face the day.

peanutbutters

I think it's important to treat ourselves well during this time.

I've been craving carbs this morning. Well, why not have them. I had to laugh at myself thinking it's unhealthy when usually I drank my body weight in alcohol.

When my mom quit drinking she would treat herself to chocolate cake after a bad day during the beginning of her recovery. Gradually she didn't need that, but at first while navigating emotions she needed something.

I have no idea of that's a good or bad idea. Obviously a better choice is meditating or taking a walk.

NikTes

peanutbutters, yes! the last couple of days I've been eating so much bread -- with butter AND peanut butter! I'm going all out! as you say, why not?

I've been practicing inconsistent thinking/livng for so long in other ways anyway! as in, going to yoga for the positive health affects, but (sometimes) also going after having a few glasses of wine... what was I thinking? I wasn't thinking.

so many bad decisions made when I started the day with drinking.

LaViva

I can relate ... I ALWAYS drink at in-law/family events and (this is the sad part), I would rather drink than have them speculating and asking each other if I'm pregnant. Isn't that horrible???

Good luck this evening! I know it will be so hard to break that habit, especially in such early days. Bring your phone and if you have an urge, go to the bathroom and pop online to this site to remind you of all of the good that has happened for other and that will happen for us too!

NikTes

Funny, not funny, funny. I was thinking the exact same thing re: them thinking I might be pregnant -- and that makes me feel uncomfortable. (I understand an aspect of that sad part...) Thanks for the advice about bringing the phone!

peanutbutters

My extended family revolves around booze. I've tried to abstain before and so many questions! This time I plan on saying I'm at risk for diabetes (I am, I had gestational diabetes) and that it is important for my health to abstain from alcohol which is basically pure sugar.

I definitely don't want to be open with them because they love and live for family gossip and no thank you. However, I don't think they would pressure me to have a glass (which means two bottles for me) if they figured it's for my health.

Could you say something like that?

purplelily

Hi all, back again to give it another go. My last extended sober period only lasted about 5 months. Since then, I can go a few days, then something clicks and I find myself at the liquor store. My hubs and 13yo are so frustrated and disappointed in me. Something has to be different this time. I have resisted going to meetings but maybe that will be the key. I actually did break down and told my dr at my last checkup. I was really nervous that my liver was in danger, but blood tests looked fine. Thanks for being here!