NikTes

Good morning everybody! Day 2 here. You might see a number of morning posts here by me over the month. Hope that's ok. Mornings are difficult. Over the last two or three years, I've been priming myself with two or three glasses of wine to face the day. Not so much an evening drinker... The morning wines help numb the anxiety. Anxiety is the trigger. Anxiety to open email. Anxiety to respond. Anxiety to socialize. Etc. I guess this is sort of an self-introduction. Other issues for me are chronic pain -- over the last few years, I've been using alcohol to ease that. Also, every few months, the nature of my work puts me in front of audiences -- HUGE trigger. (I do have a prescription to help manage this kind of anxiety, but lately, I've been falling back to booze to help ease the fear.) I've made such an ass of myself in public, around family, and in front of my own self. My heart is racing a little as I type this... but I am not reaching for that glass of wine. Thanks for listening. And good luck everybody with your day ahead!

NikTes

Funny. My hands are shaking so much (from nerves, from posting) I'm surprised that last message wasn't filled with typos!

biminiblue

NikTes, I understand. I got to the point in my drinking where first-thing-in-the-morning was beginning to be my pattern, too. That's a tough place to be.

When I quit drinking, I had a lot of anxiety for a couple weeks. I also started taking Ibuprofen for the first time in years. I just wanted to reassure you that the anxiety and the pains in your body are going to ease up. Just stick with sobriety. After all the numbing we do with alcohol, suddenly everything seems brighter and bigger, more intense and more raw.




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Post away - I've been here for almost a year and as you can see, I've talked a little. That's the beauty of this site - the more you post, the more you are helping yourself and others.

NikTes

Thanks, Bimini. Your words help. I'm curious to see how this day -- this month -- of zero drinks is going to take shape in my body. I've got heart palpitations and nightsweats already! Ugh! Which will pass...? It's frightening to look back over time, over the last year at least, and realize that every day I started out numb, wanting to be numb. Bring on the big. Bring on the bright. (Yeah, that's me, talking it up...)

biminiblue

It took a few days for those heart palpitations and sweating to go away. My sleep was all over the place for about a month.

Drink some juice or have a piece of toast with jam. Part of withdrawal is blood sugar. Eat!

Yes, your anxiety will go down. You can always call your doctor for meds to get through this first couple weeks - I didn't, I don't want to take benzos ever again. BTDT. It's going to be uncomfortable, but it won't hurt you. Take a walk, take a nap, stay busy.

Cecilia44

Day One for me and I wanted to join the class this month. Drank last night, so didn't make the whole of March, but will for the rest of it. I am so tired of trying to fight this battle on my own and I need you guys.

Stay strong everyone. This is so hard sometimes. I really need the support.

Stubbs16

Hey all, I'm from class of August, then October, then December. Failed at all three. Going to really give it my all, best shot this time. I want sobriety so much. Thought it would be better to start over in this class. Day one, here we come! And day ones are so hard. This can be my last one. The choice is mine to make.

Cameron57

Question for you guys...is there a specific time that you hit the bottle and what do you do to distract yourself? My time is 9pm once the kids go to bed, boredom sets in. I need distraction ideas

biminiblue

Cameron, stay busy or go to bed!

Here's a thread with more ideas -

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

NikTes

Maybe also keep reading and posting here? I find it's helping me this morning. Mornings are my grab the bottle times.

Cameron57

Absolutely, this is my day 1 but I can already see how invaluable this forum will be. Feels like home already if that makes sense.

Stubbs16

No specific time for me lately, but it use to be evenings only. Progressive.
Yeah, changing up your routine can help.

NikTes

Home? Yup, I get it. I've never been able (or willing?) to talk about this stuff before. SR feels safe. And if I can be of help to anyone, even if only as an ear, as I go through this myself, all the better.

Stubbs16

I'm just sitting here today, full of shame and regrets. Feeling like a failure at life. I know its just the depression that drinking brings, but I'm just so sad today. From experience I know as I get more sober time, my mood will improve.

NikTes

Try to treat yourself kindly, maximus. Especially today. Even if it's difficult to do. Even if it is one small thing.

Cameron57

You're not a failure! You're here, you're being proactive. That's pretty damn successful to me.

Stubbs16

Thanks guys. I'm trying to cheer myself up. Thinking this time tomorrow I will be on day 2, then pretty soon a week. I just am desperate to make this work this time around. Very much so.

Cameron57

Look forward to joining you in day 2 tomorrow with a clearer head than today. Have you made any plans for your trigger times? I usually drink until early hours, get up to get kids to school and then back to bed til lunchtime. Then the cycle continues, I'm not tired at night, get bored and start drinking. Today, I've made myself stay awake and going to go to bed at a reasonable hour for a change. Hoping that will help break the cycle.

LumberjackJim

I posted this on my other thread but it's relevant and I want to hop on board

We're on day 2 now I've made a conscious effort to start taking about not drinking more to the people around me, co-workers, Friends etc. So they will support me and maybe not ask me to go out with them or at the very least eliminate that threat. I'm not literally running through the office screaming "I can't drink!!!! I have an issue" but it's going to be subtle and frequent enough for them the get it. That's my goal for the week.....try to build a foundation where I can succeed. I starting by talking to my co-worker this AN about his weekend and told him, "I was 100% committed to sobriety because of training etc." He thought it was cool.

Honestly, keep posting ideas and thoughts I hope this helps you guys as much as you're helping me.

Bobcat17

Maximus--you shouldn't beat yourself up. It takes courage to admit that drinking doesn't work for you and it is also admirable that you are so persistent in trying to remove it from your life.