One Year and Under Club Part 41
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Today at work I saw a man who I have seen around the village very drunk very often, he was in for a GP Referral scheme where the doctor refers the patient for a physical exercise programme, he doesn't look very old maybe in his mid thirties.
Today he looked slightly jaundiced, very sallow skin and shaky hands, I was kind of surprised to see him in the gym. He glanced around and saw me and when I met his eyes there was this sudden understanding, he could tell I knew what he was going through. There was this gut-wrenching look of defeat and despair in his eyes. I didn't speak to him just gave him a nod.
I felt like I needed to talk to him about what he was going through but that would massively overstep my boundaries professionally, the Level 4 instructor has to deal with any GP Referral scheme clients.
What an interesting day, if i'd carried on drinking maybe that would of been me in ten years time, yellow skinned, trembling on an exercise bike sweating.
Glad I don't belong to that hell anymore. I hope I get a chance to speak to him in the future.
Today he looked slightly jaundiced, very sallow skin and shaky hands, I was kind of surprised to see him in the gym. He glanced around and saw me and when I met his eyes there was this sudden understanding, he could tell I knew what he was going through. There was this gut-wrenching look of defeat and despair in his eyes. I didn't speak to him just gave him a nod.
I felt like I needed to talk to him about what he was going through but that would massively overstep my boundaries professionally, the Level 4 instructor has to deal with any GP Referral scheme clients.
What an interesting day, if i'd carried on drinking maybe that would of been me in ten years time, yellow skinned, trembling on an exercise bike sweating.
Glad I don't belong to that hell anymore. I hope I get a chance to speak to him in the future.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Saskia - I have learned that saying no to things that unnecessarily drain me makes room for the things that enrich my life. Things that make me a better person, more interesting, with more to offer.
BeFree - Your sobriety is clearly your priority these days. You're making really difficult decisions to guard your sobriety - changing people, places, and things. Having a sober circle seems to be serving you really well, BeFree. Have any more random sober strangers fallen into your path recently?
Toots - I thought of you when the leaf harvest machines came to vacuum up the leaves on my curb. The machine isn't fancy, but it's cool, and I could totally picture you on that crew!
Drake - Great job setting limits with Father Flail-about, as well as that snarky person in your choir. We've seen the YouTube video; you can SING. I've been enjoying your transformation from the quiet guy in the background to someone who's comfortable in his own skin. And as a not-so-wilting daisy, I can attest that loud people aren't necessarily comfortable in their skin, either. It takes work.
Tonight's meeting topic was the 1st step, admitting we were powerless over alcohol. The passage of the reading that popped out at me was being rigorously tolerant. I've been struggling with tolerance at the office, with one fellow in particular, whose complaining/interrupting has been annoying my classmates and me. Today my ego took over and I got into it with him in front of the entire group.
I regretted my behavior afterwards. I knew I was obnoxious and demeaning, but my ego rationalized that I was "helping" him by giving him tips on how to conduct himself in class. Tolerance has never been a strong suit of mine. I've read step one before, but until tonight's reading, I never thought about tolerance (or a lack of it) in the context of addiction. I'm incredibly grateful to recovery for bringing up solutions to issues that I once thought were immutable parts of myself.
Be well Undies!!
BeFree - Your sobriety is clearly your priority these days. You're making really difficult decisions to guard your sobriety - changing people, places, and things. Having a sober circle seems to be serving you really well, BeFree. Have any more random sober strangers fallen into your path recently?
Toots - I thought of you when the leaf harvest machines came to vacuum up the leaves on my curb. The machine isn't fancy, but it's cool, and I could totally picture you on that crew!
Drake - Great job setting limits with Father Flail-about, as well as that snarky person in your choir. We've seen the YouTube video; you can SING. I've been enjoying your transformation from the quiet guy in the background to someone who's comfortable in his own skin. And as a not-so-wilting daisy, I can attest that loud people aren't necessarily comfortable in their skin, either. It takes work.
Tonight's meeting topic was the 1st step, admitting we were powerless over alcohol. The passage of the reading that popped out at me was being rigorously tolerant. I've been struggling with tolerance at the office, with one fellow in particular, whose complaining/interrupting has been annoying my classmates and me. Today my ego took over and I got into it with him in front of the entire group.
I regretted my behavior afterwards. I knew I was obnoxious and demeaning, but my ego rationalized that I was "helping" him by giving him tips on how to conduct himself in class. Tolerance has never been a strong suit of mine. I've read step one before, but until tonight's reading, I never thought about tolerance (or a lack of it) in the context of addiction. I'm incredibly grateful to recovery for bringing up solutions to issues that I once thought were immutable parts of myself.
Be well Undies!!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Originally Posted by gleefan 
I can attest that loud people aren't necessarily comfortable in their skin, either.
I'm glad you learned the lesson on tolerance (not that I've ever seen you be anything less than kind, but it's a hallmark of humility, which is key to keeping ourselves grounded where we should be as addicts).
You are a very quick study, and I know you will incorporate that lesson into all your future encounters. As for the classroom complainer, you probably did what everybody in the class was dying to do! Maybe you can apologize to him for being harsh, if indeed you were.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Today I'm headed to the mountains for Thanksgiving with 20+ relatives (mostly my husband's). I don't know how many of you were around this thread last year, but I was having a cow! I was so bitter and resentful--I couldn't have been even remotely pleasant for anyone--and that was typical of many of the years before.
This year I feel quite copacetic about the whole thing, knowing that I can simply retreat upstairs or leave early if the cacophony gets to me. I have even invited my (single) singing friend up for the day. It will cheer me to have her there, and it will be an additional safeguard against sulking.
My daughter is cooking the turkeys this year (one 20 lbs., the other 17). My mother-in-law is bringing sweet potatoes and cranberry sauces plus pies. My sister-in law will bring nutritious breakfast items and do the Wednesday night meal. My other brother-in-law will make Friday night's dinner.
I am actually eager to participate this year. I plan to help on Thursday by peeling the potatoes and bringing a pie (my realtor gave me a coupon for a free one). I even feel it in my heart to CLEAN UP AFTER THE BIG DINNER--unheard of!
Friday morning I am looking forward to stripping the carcasses and making a huge pot of white turkey chili for people to eat during the day.
The reason I'm going up today instead of as late as possible tomorrow is because it's supposed to SNOW! 3-5" are currently predicted for tomorrow. So we'll all be snowed in and it will be extra nice to have hot soup. Talk about your Norman Rockwell scenes!
I can't believe I'm feeling like this! A year ago (and before) I was such a shrew!
Sobriety has definitely changed me. If it wasn't visible before, I think this is definite proof. Thank you all who put up with my rantings last year at this time.
It's so nice to be able to function in the real world!
This year I feel quite copacetic about the whole thing, knowing that I can simply retreat upstairs or leave early if the cacophony gets to me. I have even invited my (single) singing friend up for the day. It will cheer me to have her there, and it will be an additional safeguard against sulking.
My daughter is cooking the turkeys this year (one 20 lbs., the other 17). My mother-in-law is bringing sweet potatoes and cranberry sauces plus pies. My sister-in law will bring nutritious breakfast items and do the Wednesday night meal. My other brother-in-law will make Friday night's dinner.
I am actually eager to participate this year. I plan to help on Thursday by peeling the potatoes and bringing a pie (my realtor gave me a coupon for a free one). I even feel it in my heart to CLEAN UP AFTER THE BIG DINNER--unheard of!
Friday morning I am looking forward to stripping the carcasses and making a huge pot of white turkey chili for people to eat during the day.
The reason I'm going up today instead of as late as possible tomorrow is because it's supposed to SNOW! 3-5" are currently predicted for tomorrow. So we'll all be snowed in and it will be extra nice to have hot soup. Talk about your Norman Rockwell scenes!
I can't believe I'm feeling like this! A year ago (and before) I was such a shrew!
Sobriety has definitely changed me. If it wasn't visible before, I think this is definite proof. Thank you all who put up with my rantings last year at this time.
It's so nice to be able to function in the real world!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
Hey Glee I wouldn't beat yourself up too much about arguing with the fellow, I think if he was annoying everyone it's not necessarily your ego getting the better of you it's just a normal human reaction to an irritating situation.
I'm glad I don't have to contend with Thanksgiving here in the UK, we do have Christmas coming up but I'm really looking forward to getting through it sober. It's going to be the first truly joyous Christmas i've had for many years
I'm glad I don't have to contend with Thanksgiving here in the UK, we do have Christmas coming up but I'm really looking forward to getting through it sober. It's going to be the first truly joyous Christmas i've had for many years
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Gilmer enjoy the holiday and the snow!
GF no I havnt met any other random people lately. I did go out to sushi last night with my 2 sober friends which was fun!
Just a quick check in before womp.
Looking forward to having Thursday off!
GF no I havnt met any other random people lately. I did go out to sushi last night with my 2 sober friends which was fun!
Just a quick check in before womp.
Looking forward to having Thursday off!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Hi Undies,
I am so grateful that just this morning after two and a half days I finally fixed some stupid virus that my laptop had. I was at Staples to have this very long doc converted to digital to email to a few people and I think I caught it there. It was a mess, lost a bunch of current stuff and it was all deep in my internet and email. I was trying to fix it by just getting the updates to my anti-virus and rerunning it...always failed and took forever. Finally I typed the error msg that my anti virus kept showing in a google search and there was a ton of info about it. I eventually had to de-install Norton and re-install the latest version that apparently had the fix. I am soooo revealed!
LS, yes, a sober Christmas is something to look forward to. For sure his path might well have been yours. I'm told that if I drink it will have only three potential outcomes: Jail (been there, done that...only 2 days, but horrible...and 100 days on a monitor device, car ignition monitor, and about 4% of my life will have been spent on probation by April 22, 2015), institutions (3 cracks at rehab for me), and/or death. I've escaped in near death from abuse all to often. Why am I still on this side of the ground? Part of me thinks that I was spared so that I can offer my experience, strength and hope? I do hope you get an opportunity to speak with that man some day. Could you invite him for coffee outside the gym?
Gilmer, YES, I think that the Thanksgiving stories from last to this year is a wonderful barometer of your amazing progress in recovery. Haha, last year you were HAVING A BIRD, literally and figuratively. Kudos, and enjoy copacetic this year!
Glee, I agree, you are a quick study. For my money, today, I'll pick humility over ego any chance I get. It's new to me, different with me, and oh so much less stressful. Sounds like it was a spot-on mtg last night. So interesting how that happens? One of my fav jokes of all time asks what the most amazing things and has a punch line about a thermos's ability to keep cold things cold, and hot things hot. The punch line being, "And the most amazing thing is.... HOW DO IT KNOW?" How do those meetings know?
Drake, enjoy time with family. Good show on not overreacting and using the Easy Does It approach with your new Priest.
BF, you are surviving lots of temptations of late. I hope you have a fun time planned with those sober co-workers soon!
Toots, DG is doing fine and on a short break from a daily regime...and for sure, recovery remains paramount.
Catch all you all on the rebound.
Carlos
I am so grateful that just this morning after two and a half days I finally fixed some stupid virus that my laptop had. I was at Staples to have this very long doc converted to digital to email to a few people and I think I caught it there. It was a mess, lost a bunch of current stuff and it was all deep in my internet and email. I was trying to fix it by just getting the updates to my anti-virus and rerunning it...always failed and took forever. Finally I typed the error msg that my anti virus kept showing in a google search and there was a ton of info about it. I eventually had to de-install Norton and re-install the latest version that apparently had the fix. I am soooo revealed!
LS, yes, a sober Christmas is something to look forward to. For sure his path might well have been yours. I'm told that if I drink it will have only three potential outcomes: Jail (been there, done that...only 2 days, but horrible...and 100 days on a monitor device, car ignition monitor, and about 4% of my life will have been spent on probation by April 22, 2015), institutions (3 cracks at rehab for me), and/or death. I've escaped in near death from abuse all to often. Why am I still on this side of the ground? Part of me thinks that I was spared so that I can offer my experience, strength and hope? I do hope you get an opportunity to speak with that man some day. Could you invite him for coffee outside the gym?
Gilmer, YES, I think that the Thanksgiving stories from last to this year is a wonderful barometer of your amazing progress in recovery. Haha, last year you were HAVING A BIRD, literally and figuratively. Kudos, and enjoy copacetic this year!
Glee, I agree, you are a quick study. For my money, today, I'll pick humility over ego any chance I get. It's new to me, different with me, and oh so much less stressful. Sounds like it was a spot-on mtg last night. So interesting how that happens? One of my fav jokes of all time asks what the most amazing things and has a punch line about a thermos's ability to keep cold things cold, and hot things hot. The punch line being, "And the most amazing thing is.... HOW DO IT KNOW?" How do those meetings know?
Drake, enjoy time with family. Good show on not overreacting and using the Easy Does It approach with your new Priest.
BF, you are surviving lots of temptations of late. I hope you have a fun time planned with those sober co-workers soon!
Toots, DG is doing fine and on a short break from a daily regime...and for sure, recovery remains paramount.
Catch all you all on the rebound.
Carlos
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
A friend and I are trying out a new BBQ restaurant for lunch. I was checking out the menu online and they have a "Whomp! Platter":
WHOMP! PLATTER........................................... .... 44
sampling of all 6 sliced meats, burnt ends, half slab,
bucket of fries, jar o' pickles & two Junior's Sides!
Just for BF and all us Undies!
whomp whomp... but that is too much for me, actually it is a party platter or something like that.
WHOMP! PLATTER........................................... .... 44
sampling of all 6 sliced meats, burnt ends, half slab,
bucket of fries, jar o' pickles & two Junior's Sides!
Just for BF and all us Undies!
whomp whomp... but that is too much for me, actually it is a party platter or something like that.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Originally Posted by DrakeCKC
WHOMP! PLATTER........................................... .... 44
sampling of all 6 sliced meats, burnt ends, half slab,
bucket of fries, jar o' pickles & two Junior's Sides!
Just for BF and all us Undies!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
We could get two Whomp Platters and all share them!
Well, my dad is in agony with his back arthritis. I have an appointment scheduled for him with his doctor at 2:30. Right now he's not on any oral anti-inflammatory medication because he's 90 and his kidney function is not the greatest (he's currently using a topical gel). I'm hoping that they might prescribe something for him just for a couple of days. If not, we may have to stay home. I wouldn't want to put him through a 1 1/2 hour car ride if it was too painful.
Maybe I'll have my singing friend here at the house Thursday and cook a chicken!
Well, my dad is in agony with his back arthritis. I have an appointment scheduled for him with his doctor at 2:30. Right now he's not on any oral anti-inflammatory medication because he's 90 and his kidney function is not the greatest (he's currently using a topical gel). I'm hoping that they might prescribe something for him just for a couple of days. If not, we may have to stay home. I wouldn't want to put him through a 1 1/2 hour car ride if it was too painful.
Maybe I'll have my singing friend here at the house Thursday and cook a chicken!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Trust me, we could all share a Whomp platter or two, if any of you are ever this way. (Provided the place is any good, it is new and this will be first try).
You know, I have not felt this "lively" for the last 10 years. Those were filled with booze and anxiety. I have to be careful, as the opposite of me is not shy and wallflower but a bit of a loose cannon. Hope I can find middle.
Love sushi, BF. I had list of all the sushi places where I traveled. I never did sake but did enjoy too many Japanese beers. Strange the only time I drank beer was at Asian restaurants.
Sorry to hear about your dad, Gilmer. Hope he can find pain relief.
Off to whomp.
You know, I have not felt this "lively" for the last 10 years. Those were filled with booze and anxiety. I have to be careful, as the opposite of me is not shy and wallflower but a bit of a loose cannon. Hope I can find middle.
Love sushi, BF. I had list of all the sushi places where I traveled. I never did sake but did enjoy too many Japanese beers. Strange the only time I drank beer was at Asian restaurants.
Sorry to hear about your dad, Gilmer. Hope he can find pain relief.
Off to whomp.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Good morning Undies,
Dealing with some uncomfortable feelings and memories from the past. My AV tries to get me to drink over this but I know so much better now! I refuse to drink I know I will be 1,000 times more miserable if I do.
I know I need to let these things come up and process them. These are feelings and memories I used to supress and bottle up by drinking. Only now am I letting them surface and processing them and acknowledging them rather than shoving them back down inside. Recovery can bring up some hurtful things but I would still much rather feel these uncomfotable feelings as they pass thru me and heal, rather than the alternative hell which is drinking constantly to forget.
Just wanted to share this I know you all understand.
Love you all Undies keep up the great work!!
Looking forward to a great sober long Thanksgiving weekend with the family.
Love and hugs, Chris
P.S.- Going to treat myself to a nice dessert today after lunch. Dark chocolate most likely.
Dealing with some uncomfortable feelings and memories from the past. My AV tries to get me to drink over this but I know so much better now! I refuse to drink I know I will be 1,000 times more miserable if I do.
I know I need to let these things come up and process them. These are feelings and memories I used to supress and bottle up by drinking. Only now am I letting them surface and processing them and acknowledging them rather than shoving them back down inside. Recovery can bring up some hurtful things but I would still much rather feel these uncomfotable feelings as they pass thru me and heal, rather than the alternative hell which is drinking constantly to forget.
Just wanted to share this I know you all understand.
Love you all Undies keep up the great work!!
Looking forward to a great sober long Thanksgiving weekend with the family.
Love and hugs, Chris
P.S.- Going to treat myself to a nice dessert today after lunch. Dark chocolate most likely.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Chris, my sober twin, I'm sending you loads of love. I know you will make it through this, too. You've shown such strong thinking.
(((Glee))), I'll add my voice to the chorus: try not to beat yourself up. Many of us are perfectionists but I believe that reality is that we all make mistakes, misjudgments, etc. However, we do so much less of it when we are sober. And when we work on our recovery, we slowly learn to catch ourselves before we do things we don't like instead of after. But none of us will ever be perfect!
Gilmer, so sorry your dad is in a lot of pain! And yes, I've noticed a big difference between last year and now 🐣
LS, BF, I'm seeing in your posts what I've seen in others: a growing strength and certainty in living a sober and full life!
I value all of my sober supports. Here there are things I don't get elsewhere. Most especially it helps me to hear about the variations of the path we are all on. There is so much about life in general that is affected by alcohol and other programs focus specifically on alcohol. That's not a bad thing but this is so much more. In addition to the struggles and triumphs in remaining sober, what helps me so much here is to see the struggles we have as we, for lack of a better word, reinvent ourselves. This is such a phenomenal opportunity to grow as individuals. Each and every one of you adds to my awareness and to the growing richness of my life.
I still struggle with getting all tangled up when I feel helpless but I also feel progress. I don't spend as long feeling all stressed out. A big positive is that when I calm down and accept what's happening, my brain starts functioning again and it's becoming a bit easier to move ahead.
Have a lovely day, Undies!
(((Glee))), I'll add my voice to the chorus: try not to beat yourself up. Many of us are perfectionists but I believe that reality is that we all make mistakes, misjudgments, etc. However, we do so much less of it when we are sober. And when we work on our recovery, we slowly learn to catch ourselves before we do things we don't like instead of after. But none of us will ever be perfect!
Gilmer, so sorry your dad is in a lot of pain! And yes, I've noticed a big difference between last year and now 🐣
LS, BF, I'm seeing in your posts what I've seen in others: a growing strength and certainty in living a sober and full life!
I value all of my sober supports. Here there are things I don't get elsewhere. Most especially it helps me to hear about the variations of the path we are all on. There is so much about life in general that is affected by alcohol and other programs focus specifically on alcohol. That's not a bad thing but this is so much more. In addition to the struggles and triumphs in remaining sober, what helps me so much here is to see the struggles we have as we, for lack of a better word, reinvent ourselves. This is such a phenomenal opportunity to grow as individuals. Each and every one of you adds to my awareness and to the growing richness of my life.
I still struggle with getting all tangled up when I feel helpless but I also feel progress. I don't spend as long feeling all stressed out. A big positive is that when I calm down and accept what's happening, my brain starts functioning again and it's becoming a bit easier to move ahead.
Have a lovely day, Undies!
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
My dad is not up to traveling, so we will stay home and have Thanksgiving with my sad singing friend. I have the groceries and supplies for up there, so I will drive up and back after my dad's doctor's appointment.
I bought a turkey breast and some raw materials for sides. I will use my free pie coupon for here.
Everything happens for a reason.
I bought a turkey breast and some raw materials for sides. I will use my free pie coupon for here.
Everything happens for a reason.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Originally Posted by Gilmer
Everything happens for a reason.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
Originally Posted by Saskia
I still struggle with getting all tangled up when I feel helpless but I also feel progress. I don't spend as long feeling all stressed out. A big positive is that when I calm down and accept what's happening, my brain starts functioning again and it's becoming a bit easier to move ahead.
Have a lovely day, Undies!
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