One Year and Under Club Part 41
 

Last Part here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-40-a-20.html

D

Shotgun!

Ahahahahahaha...I got 'em both!

Gosh darn, color me green! I was on here when previous thread was closed, waited at least 5 minutes figuring to get shotgun, then left, came back a bit later and still no new thread.... arghhhh!

I've been very busy today Sass...it wasn't deliberate :)

D

Sass, I give you shotgun!

Omg, Trachy, how old is that?!

Not as old as me, OMG!

All hail the sneaky slider in the Undies Pond! :hail:

there goes my claim to fame

Junior Walker was from the mid 60's if I remember right. (I was just a pup then)

Omg, I was in college then!

I would have been drooling then...... I leave you to decide whether that means I was less than a year old or drunk and in my 20's 30's or 40's. :lmao:

Very funny, Toots! In the interests of our friendship, I won't hazard a guess!
:lmao

Yes, I am not going there either.

Hi Undies,

Spending Saturday rooting through old stuff at my old house with my ex where we spent 17 of our 25 years together raising our girls was quite a challenge. I had a few emotional moments while there, even walking upstairs for a hug at one point. I came home, everything fine yesterday as I worked on sorting and finding the proper place for things.

Then last night I pulled out a stack that included pics from our wedding and about 50 cards from ex, my girls, and, while I do not know exactly how he did it, my baby boy Rufis (a dog). B-day, V-day, my old soberversary, and the killer was Anniversary cards from 22, 23 and the last, our 25th.

That card that was just a few months prior to my leaving to drink to my hearts content. Ex told me of the joy and fun life had been together, how she would do it all over again, and how she looked forward to growing old together the next 25 years.

To say the least, that was difficult to read. That card and its incredible message sat in a box, in a garage, as I pounded away drink after drink, collected dui after dui, added one relapse to another...etc.

I gave away so much to my drinking...perhaps nothing more precious than the message in that card?

Well, okay, the cat is out of the bag. What to do? I could drink over it? Then again, we all know where that takes us. How about I try to learn from it?

I'm taught not to regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. I guess I could beat myself up about it? What good does that do? I know, I plan to use this card as the catalyst for finally learning to forgive myself, and maybe, just maybe, accept what happened and let it go.

I thought I had...but, maybe I hadn't. Maybe the Universe offered this now, not earlier, because I wasn't ready yet? I do believe that if I remain vigilant in my recovery that I will not be given more than I can handle.

Thank goodness for my toolbox and my new ability to slow things down. How often have I acted on my initial impulse in the past, not allowing time and distance to reflect and gain perspective.

Sure, I can't help but be a little sad...but, imagine the power in finally being able to say..."Dude, Carlos, I forgive you. How can I possibly expect others to forgive me until I'm willing forgive myself?

Carlos

ps - i read a piece on 40 ways to live without regret. while an interesting read...not quite what i was looking for today, as it assumes present tense...but, powerful none the less.
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/40-ways-t...thout-regrets/

:hug: Carlos

Oh Carlos. That must have been super hard. She could have decided to stay you know so please don't beat yourself over the head too much. Maybe you do have to share the blame more but not 100% more so there...

DG sent us some great reading on the selfcompassion.org website. Please go there a while.

Where is everyone? Looks like we've lost a few with the move over here. lol.

I hope everyone is doing OK. I saw a liquor store tonight and felt like getting drunk and felt sorry it can't be just a drink. But no big deal, it was a fleeting moment.

DP
xx

Yes a few of us have been quiet lately.

I've been very peaceful in sobriety right now, and quite occupied with a bunch of life things, all of which are positive. Funny, I do think about drinking fairly often, mostly about the stupid decisions I made when drinking, and resolving never to go back there. Carlos put it so well in one of his posts - it's not our drink of choice we miss, it's getting drunk.

So everything good here in Sparkyland, and glad to see how well everyone else is doing. Congrats on your first year sober Gilmer; you are a great inspiration to others.

Carlos - That was a powerful message. Thanks for sharing it with us.

My favorite AA meeting is Monday nights. I wasn't going to go - I've had a headache for the better part of the afternoon - but one of my besties talked me into it. I'm glad I went. Tonight's meeting on the 12th step was like an extension of the conversation we had - about the peace and serenity and joy that comes when we shed our old, dysfunctional, egocentric thinking patterns along with our drinking. As folks were talking about their need to act like the #1 person it reminded me of how I felt the need to be The Best at everything I did, too - often times at the expense of the big picture.

As one of the AA's said, "I didn't realize I had problems til you were talking about your problems and I said, 'I thought everyone did that. You mean, that's not normal?'" He could laugh at himself. I'm learning how to not be so mad at myself for the years I wasted orienting my life towards anger and ego. It's kind of like the tiny Budda advice: "14. Don’t try to change someone—love who they are now." It sure can be hard for us to find that kindness and patience for ourselves.

I am grateful I decided to take my dear friend's advice to go to the meeting tonight. And I'm not going to be missing many of them in the coming weeks because I took on a 3 month coffee commitment.

DP - good seeing you. I'm sorry that you're feeling wistful for alcohol, but glad that good sense prevailed.

Sparky - Glad you are feeling some well deserved peace and joy in sobriety.

Have a good night, Undies.

Hi undies just checking in. Got a bunch done today and my mom came by and did some decorating for Christmas. Also organized my 300+ DVDs into a binder thing to save space.

Carlos that must of been hard. It's inspiring to see you post about how to use the tools you've learned to get thru it.

Well I can't tell if I have allergies or am coming down with a cold so getting to sleep early before womp land.