One Year and Under Club Part 41
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Originally Posted by Dee939918 
So true I'm only at 42 days and just starting to
Understand the differences on how the brain works😊
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Understand the differences on how the brain works😊
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Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by Gilmer
Welcome, Dee939918! May I call you Dee9 for short? It is nice to have you among us--this thread "the Undies"--is really supportive and given to excellent advice. Many times it has picked me up when I was feeling down or helped me when I was struggling. Please make yourself at home! 
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: PA and Florida
Posts: 4,183
Hey Undies,
D-9, welcome to the Undies and congrats on your 42 days of freedom.
SD, congrats on your tipple figure milestone.
Chris, I know how you feel. One thing that has helped me is that when I feel that way, I just accept that it's cool to feel a bit blah from time to time. I do not feel the urgency to change it either. In my active alcoholism I always wanted to turn my frown upside down...now, I realize that not always being on top of my game is NORMAL, and I roll with it. Haha, such a relief to not need to control everything and accept what is.
Glee, loved your post. Your life sounds so far from one that is crumbling. You truly are living life on life's terms. Accepting what is and isn't in your control. Shedding ego for humility. Your days of wanting the NEXT best thing and never satisfied seem to be gone. Joyous, happy and free aren't materialistic, arrogant, self serving and superficial in any way. Recovery, not sobriety has offered growth in mind, body and spirit...and you have embraced it from the start. So it has been 9 months, woohoo. Any special plans for collecting that chip?
BF, how are you doing? Have they had the funeral yet? Your conviction to sobriety and recovery are very strong. Enjoy your family day.
Hey, it is like 55 degrees outside. I may go clubbing...my type that is...of the golf variety.
Take care, Undies...let's keep it clean and sober today, okay?
Carlos
D-9, welcome to the Undies and congrats on your 42 days of freedom.
SD, congrats on your tipple figure milestone.
Chris, I know how you feel. One thing that has helped me is that when I feel that way, I just accept that it's cool to feel a bit blah from time to time. I do not feel the urgency to change it either. In my active alcoholism I always wanted to turn my frown upside down...now, I realize that not always being on top of my game is NORMAL, and I roll with it. Haha, such a relief to not need to control everything and accept what is.
Glee, loved your post. Your life sounds so far from one that is crumbling. You truly are living life on life's terms. Accepting what is and isn't in your control. Shedding ego for humility. Your days of wanting the NEXT best thing and never satisfied seem to be gone. Joyous, happy and free aren't materialistic, arrogant, self serving and superficial in any way. Recovery, not sobriety has offered growth in mind, body and spirit...and you have embraced it from the start. So it has been 9 months, woohoo. Any special plans for collecting that chip?
BF, how are you doing? Have they had the funeral yet? Your conviction to sobriety and recovery are very strong. Enjoy your family day.
Hey, it is like 55 degrees outside. I may go clubbing...my type that is...of the golf variety.
Take care, Undies...let's keep it clean and sober today, okay?
Carlos
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 1,491
Thanks for the advice IWLSAST. I totally agree. In the past I would have run to drink instead of riding this out. As uncomfortable as it feels sometimes, I feel so at peace riding it out. This is the real me with all its ups and downs. Drink would only bring me down to a much lower level. Again, being blah sober truly beats any day drinking. Thanks for your words of advice I really do appreciate it.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
Thanks for all the congrats, Undies.
D9 - Welcome! Great work on 42 days. Keep 'em coming!
Scooter - Congrats on 100 days of changing your life for the better.
Chris - Acceptance has been an important part of my recovery, but I struggle a great deal with acceptance is when I'm feeling down. I am so grateful that you brought this up because I really needed it this afternoon.
I'm always trying to mitigate my feelings. When I'm tired, I take a long nap, figuring my responsibilities can wait. If I'm bored or struggling with focus, I have another coffee, consequences like jitteriness or sleeplessness ignored. If I'm sad, I come up with a way to change the situation, regardless of whether it's practical. If I'm down, I overeat, even though that makes me feel worse in the long run. I'm down about things at home, and find myself in various situations that are lousy, but in spite of the growth I've experienced over the last several months, it didn't occur to me that it's ok to feel down. When I read your post, the advice I've been hearing for months to slow down and cultivate some patience came rushing to me as I realized I don't have to do anything but ride it out.
I wanted to share that really awesome aha moment that came right when I needed it. Surfing through feeling down instead of finding a way to mitigate it is going to take a lot of work, as is wrapping my head around facing it one day at a time.
Carlos - I'll be celebrating 9 months by picking up a chip alongside a friend who I've grown to love dearly during the course of my recovery. I can't think of a better way to celebrate! Do you have any special plans to celebrate 18 months?
Off to recommit to one-day-at-a-timing it, Undies. Have a good one!
D9 - Welcome! Great work on 42 days. Keep 'em coming!
Scooter - Congrats on 100 days of changing your life for the better.
Chris - Acceptance has been an important part of my recovery, but I struggle a great deal with acceptance is when I'm feeling down. I am so grateful that you brought this up because I really needed it this afternoon.
I'm always trying to mitigate my feelings. When I'm tired, I take a long nap, figuring my responsibilities can wait. If I'm bored or struggling with focus, I have another coffee, consequences like jitteriness or sleeplessness ignored. If I'm sad, I come up with a way to change the situation, regardless of whether it's practical. If I'm down, I overeat, even though that makes me feel worse in the long run. I'm down about things at home, and find myself in various situations that are lousy, but in spite of the growth I've experienced over the last several months, it didn't occur to me that it's ok to feel down. When I read your post, the advice I've been hearing for months to slow down and cultivate some patience came rushing to me as I realized I don't have to do anything but ride it out.
I wanted to share that really awesome aha moment that came right when I needed it. Surfing through feeling down instead of finding a way to mitigate it is going to take a lot of work, as is wrapping my head around facing it one day at a time.
Carlos - I'll be celebrating 9 months by picking up a chip alongside a friend who I've grown to love dearly during the course of my recovery. I can't think of a better way to celebrate! Do you have any special plans to celebrate 18 months?
Off to recommit to one-day-at-a-timing it, Undies. Have a good one!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
GF congratulations sweetheart on 9 months, enjoy collecting your chip, Carlos you too enjoy picking up your 18 month one. I wished I had something like that, a tangible sign of my sobriety, but then waking up hangover free is a tangible sign!
D9 welcome, the clubhouse is pet friendly we have gluten free ice cream in the freezer and Gilmer has just made some chocolate,ate cakes with gravy icing!
CaliChris it is funny how in recovery we relate every mood to stopping drinking, as if sober 'Normies' never get happy, sad, snarky, meh or content. You are right to just allow what mood you feel, acknowledge it, feel where it is coming from and allow yourself to just work through it.
Sass, how are you doing?
Sparky, good to see a post from you.
BeFree how did things go with your friends mom? X
Soberjim, I don't see that wee puffin often enough!
Hugs all undies I hope you all have a good week
D9 welcome, the clubhouse is pet friendly we have gluten free ice cream in the freezer and Gilmer has just made some chocolate,ate cakes with gravy icing!
CaliChris it is funny how in recovery we relate every mood to stopping drinking, as if sober 'Normies' never get happy, sad, snarky, meh or content. You are right to just allow what mood you feel, acknowledge it, feel where it is coming from and allow yourself to just work through it.
Sass, how are you doing?
Sparky, good to see a post from you.
BeFree how did things go with your friends mom? X
Soberjim, I don't see that wee puffin often enough!
Hugs all undies I hope you all have a good week
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
GF congrats on 9 months. And glad you enjoyed a nice meal for your bday! I remember when I was drinking I would feel grumpy too when not like you described about your husband when instead he should've tried enjoying it and having a fun time with you.
Scooter congrats on the 100 days!
Chris I also have learned to just let the blah days pass by and realize not everyday will be great.
Carlos the service I just found out isn't until the 2nd week of December. I'm guessing he will be cremated if they're waiting that long.
Toots I decided not to go visit her today. After thinking about it and talking with a friend I thought it's probably not a good idea to put myself in that situation being that his mom is also an all day every day drinker and don't want to be around her while she's wasted.
last night I was so glad I didn't drink. A bunch of my fam members were wasted rambling about nothing while I drank my soda and woke up today hangover free!
Scooter congrats on the 100 days!
Chris I also have learned to just let the blah days pass by and realize not everyday will be great.
Carlos the service I just found out isn't until the 2nd week of December. I'm guessing he will be cremated if they're waiting that long.
Toots I decided not to go visit her today. After thinking about it and talking with a friend I thought it's probably not a good idea to put myself in that situation being that his mom is also an all day every day drinker and don't want to be around her while she's wasted.
last night I was so glad I didn't drink. A bunch of my fam members were wasted rambling about nothing while I drank my soda and woke up today hangover free!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Congrats on 100 days Scooter!
Congrats on 9 mos Glee!
Welcome D9
Greets Undies. Been a long day, and I am beat already. Short but intense work week with a lot of stuff to do for a newly started construction project. Off to my sister's for T-day so I will be a bit scarce from Wed on.
Been catching up on all so I'll just say to all here!
Congrats on 9 mos Glee!
Welcome D9
Greets Undies. Been a long day, and I am beat already. Short but intense work week with a lot of stuff to do for a newly started construction project. Off to my sister's for T-day so I will be a bit scarce from Wed on.
Been catching up on all so I'll just say
to all here!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
I've been struggling today - must be the milestone blues topped on my usual weekend blues.
I posted here a bit. That got me in touch with my feelings and the way my brain ticks and tocks - which is useful. Then I did something I haven't done much of since getting sober - I found something to do around the house. I used to be a task master in active addiction. I'd rock through my to do list with the dangling carrot of alcoholic oblivion at the end of the project. Since quitting I've done more sitting around than ever before. Well, today I broke climbed my way out from between my ears by doing a small project! And you know what, I'm going to do another one! I feel like DG over here!! For the newbies, DG is a friend in the Overs who worked through her sobriety, literally, by fixing her house room by room.
It's back to the womping grind tomorrow Undies, but a short week because US Thanksgiving is Thursday and thanks to a small miracle I have Friday off.
I posted here a bit. That got me in touch with my feelings and the way my brain ticks and tocks - which is useful. Then I did something I haven't done much of since getting sober - I found something to do around the house. I used to be a task master in active addiction. I'd rock through my to do list with the dangling carrot of alcoholic oblivion at the end of the project. Since quitting I've done more sitting around than ever before. Well, today I broke climbed my way out from between my ears by doing a small project! And you know what, I'm going to do another one! I feel like DG over here!! For the newbies, DG is a friend in the Overs who worked through her sobriety, literally, by fixing her house room by room.
It's back to the womping grind tomorrow Undies, but a short week because US Thanksgiving is Thursday and thanks to a small miracle I have Friday off.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Originally Posted by Gilmer
BFree, i am glad that you stayed sober and stayed out of the chaos.
Toots, I'm good. I got over my panic about glitch. I've done about everything I can and now just need to exercise some patience. So I'm still working on cleaning out stuff. Have apartment layout drafted. Went to see Hunger Games: Mockinjay Part 1. Jennifer Lawrence was really good. I just got an invite for Christmas from my cousin's wife and a friend offered to take care of Sassy kitty while I'm gone. Staying sober is feeling like the natural state of things here.
Hi to all our clean Undies!
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
BeFree, I am glad you chose the best decision for you and your recovery, it says a lot for your growing strength and resolve that you didn't give in to either the pressure to do the right thing, or to temptation. I feel for the lads mom, but if she is an active addict she will not be dealing with his death so there is probably little you could do to comfort or help her perhaps you could write her a letter filled with loving memories of good times ( especially the sober ones together) she would be able to keep that.
Glee, I finally have the sunshine to get out and do garden work, but it's cold enough to freeze my bits off so I can only do small jobs then run indoors to thaw out! I do have plenty of jobs around the house to keep me busy though.
Where is DG? Haven't seen here here or the OverGrads for a week or so??
Sass, I'm loving the new horizontal you! So laid back you would give Fonzie a run for his money!! Lol and Christmas plans too that gives you plenty of things to focus on.
Well Undies, a shiny new week has arrived, untarnished. Make it yours.
Glee, I finally have the sunshine to get out and do garden work, but it's cold enough to freeze my bits off so I can only do small jobs then run indoors to thaw out! I do have plenty of jobs around the house to keep me busy though.
Where is DG? Haven't seen here here or the OverGrads for a week or so??
Sass, I'm loving the new horizontal you! So laid back you would give Fonzie a run for his money!! Lol and Christmas plans too that gives you plenty of things to focus on.
Well Undies, a shiny new week has arrived, untarnished. Make it yours.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
Sass, I love the fact that you are really begging to settle into your sobriety and be fully comfortable as a way of life. You seem to be achieving the balance of ease without complacency. I'm glad you faced your glitch, then deliberately opted not to stress about it. "Que sera, sera" is an excellent philosophy when you have done everything there is to do on your own end.
Wherever you wind up living will end up serving you the best.
Wherever you wind up living will end up serving you the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
Originally Posted by Gilmer
Uh--I made a serious typo in the above post. When I said "begging," I really meant to say "beginning!"
So sorry to have insulted you, Sass!
So sorry to have insulted you, Sass!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 2,294
Compressed Womp is on the docket. I am leaving for my sister's on Wednesday so I have a lot to do over two days. And of course, people keep piling things on.
I had a mini-meltdown last night over the church leaflet I do each week for my church. The new priest (I call him Father Flail-about) is a bit energetic and wants all these changes and details. In my old days, I would have gotten mad and more drunk. I just got mad... stewed and screamed and then quietly wrote him back.... no time to do such madness.
I guess it is nice to be needed... I just don't want to be needed that often.
Take care, good womp to all. I'll be checking in.
I had a mini-meltdown last night over the church leaflet I do each week for my church. The new priest (I call him Father Flail-about) is a bit energetic and wants all these changes and details. In my old days, I would have gotten mad and more drunk. I just got mad... stewed and screamed and then quietly wrote him back.... no time to do such madness.
I guess it is nice to be needed... I just don't want to be needed that often.
Take care, good womp to all. I'll be checking in.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,287
So true! I've often felt that I want to be needed less of the time. With the big 70 looming, I've decided that I really can say that infamous 2-letter word "no" and I'll be much happier and more serene if I actually do so.
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