Class of August 2014 Part 6
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by brach123 
Thank you all so much for your kind words!! It makes me realise how easily day to day things can throw me!! I just lay down in the end and listened to mooji and actually fell to sleep. I woke up feeling a sad but have made up with my Mum and I apologised for upsetting her and making her worry, that was honestly never my intention but in the the middle of our disagreement I wasn't mindful of how it would affect her. Anyway I'm calmer now and thankfully made amends.
I'm gonna catch up on the rest of your posts now, I hope you are all well and happy. Lots of power to you guys.
I'm gonna catch up on the rest of your posts now, I hope you are all well and happy. Lots of power to you guys.
Peace.
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
Grateful, I like the reading. It's very affirming. I know it's hard to sit with the results of our drinking sometimes. Alcoholism and behaviors that support it run rampant through my family. And now you are able to see it clearly because you are recovering. Give your relationships time and patience, and save a little for yourself, too! You are improving every day that you don't drink!
Last edited by Choobie; 09-20-2014 at 01:46 PM. Reason: shameful autocorrect
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by Choobie
Grateful, I like the reading. It's very affirming. I know it's hard to sit with the results of our drinking sometimes. Alcoholism and behaviors that support it run rampant through my family. And now you are able tomsee it clearly because you are recovering. Give your relationships time and patience, and save a little for yourself, too! You are improving ever day that you don't drink!
I am an Adult Child of an Alcoholic and have been able to see the the results of my own drinking for years. I even drank for a long time just from the shame of my past behaviors. This is not a sudden realization for me. It is just frustrating because I am finally doing really well. Over the last year I have not been continuously sober but it has been much much better overall and they have not changed their attitude at all. I know it takes time but I'm frustrated because they have made zero effort. Plus they are highly likely to become alcoholic themselves. I am older than them and I was a normal drinker until my late 30's. In fact, because of alcoholism in my family (my Mom, my grandpa, my first cousin)...I did not drink alcohol at all in high school and college. I see them feeling like they have it under control because they can just drink all weekend. I have been with them and once they start they can not stop. Also, my brother confided in me that he was an alcoholic for 3 months and now he isn't....what?
Thanks for listening. Your posts help me so much Choobie!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Argh! I'm still struggling with the AV. I was okay before and now I'm not. Do not want to drink right this second but feel very very shaky. I feel like a failure like I should be able to just do something to snap out of how I am feeling. I just want to be honest here because I am really worried about drinking later if I don't talk about it now. 
Had some texts with my siblings and my emotions are all over the place. On top of that just feeling down and lonely. Definitely hungry, angry, lonely and tired now. Going to go eat and try to relax. Don't have my kids this weekend and I miss them and their positive energy. On top of that feel very disconnected from my siblings.
Help!
Had some texts with my siblings and my emotions are all over the place. On top of that just feeling down and lonely. Definitely hungry, angry, lonely and tired now. Going to go eat and try to relax. Don't have my kids this weekend and I miss them and their positive energy. On top of that feel very disconnected from my siblings.
Help!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey Grateful
Right here with you. Just logged in after my day out and about.
You have got this, really you have. Ride it out. It's the AV still having a go. It wants you to think "poor me" Let's have none of it! You're doing superbly well. Kick that AV where it hurts!
Keep posting, we are all here for you.
Failure? I think not. Why? Look at your post. You just wrote 'I do not want to drink' That's power my friend, you have it in bucket loads. Summon some more of it and ride on through. Baby steps
Right here with you. Just logged in after my day out and about.
You have got this, really you have. Ride it out. It's the AV still having a go. It wants you to think "poor me" Let's have none of it! You're doing superbly well. Kick that AV where it hurts!
Keep posting, we are all here for you.
Failure? I think not. Why? Look at your post. You just wrote 'I do not want to drink' That's power my friend, you have it in bucket loads. Summon some more of it and ride on through. Baby steps
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: NW UK
Posts: 164
Hey grateful1, I'm sorry you are having a tough day also. I'm finding it wholly bizarre how up and down I've been feeling, but on the whole there is no doubt it's got more happy and content moments than when I was drinking. Thank God for that. Your family struggles sound tough, my father and one sister have both had times they have pulled away from me but I'm very fortunate they have given me another chance. I really can't bare to hurt them any more and I know the longer I'm sober the better our relationships will get. Hopefully time will help heal your relationships also.
I've just read you next message now and I'm really feeling for you. No matter how bad you are feeling right now though, you know that drinking would only intensify those negative feelings. Try turn your perspective around and focus on all the positive stuff going on in your life and the fact that you are sober and in with a chance of changing the tough stuff you are going through. I know this is easier said than done but I really hope you work through this, somebody told me today; FEAR face everything and recover - you can face this and work through it and you will be even stronger for it. I'm sending power your way my friend!
I've just read you next message now and I'm really feeling for you. No matter how bad you are feeling right now though, you know that drinking would only intensify those negative feelings. Try turn your perspective around and focus on all the positive stuff going on in your life and the fact that you are sober and in with a chance of changing the tough stuff you are going through. I know this is easier said than done but I really hope you work through this, somebody told me today; FEAR face everything and recover - you can face this and work through it and you will be even stronger for it. I'm sending power your way my friend!
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Originally Posted by Grateful11
Argh! I'm still struggling with the AV. I was okay before and now I'm not. Do not want to drink right this second but feel very very shaky. I feel like a failure like I should be able to just do something to snap out of how I am feeling. I just want to be honest here because I am really worried about drinking later if I don't talk about it now.
Had some texts with my siblings and my emotions are all over the place. On top of that just feeling down and lonely. Definitely hungry, angry, lonely and tired now. Going to go eat and try to relax. Don't have my kids this weekend and I miss them and their positive energy. On top of that feel very disconnected from my siblings.
Help!
Had some texts with my siblings and my emotions are all over the place. On top of that just feeling down and lonely. Definitely hungry, angry, lonely and tired now. Going to go eat and try to relax. Don't have my kids this weekend and I miss them and their positive energy. On top of that feel very disconnected from my siblings.
Help!
could you text your children just to say hey, have a bit of communication with them to perk you up a bit? if we could just snap out of things hun we would not need each others support on here. you are human. Only human.
what could distract you that you enjoy? a walk, swim, a bath, music, movie, a hobby, call a friend, read, drive, jigsaw, sewing, having a nap, go get take out, write down your thoughts, or at the very least stay on here and keep posting til it passes.
I would turn my phone off if the bad texts are the trigger, take the trigger away?
please be strong, don't listen to the AV, its playing you, look how far you've come. and remember you are not alone xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey guys and girls
Had a good morning. Early AA was good, and I am cracking on with the step work, I am reaching the final stages of step 4 with my sponsor.
Someone from my past has popped up today with some random messages, like 'I told you so' messages. I don't know why this has come now, I haven't seen the guy in four years.
He's trying to hurt me (not physically) and causing trouble with some people in my life. I think maybe someone has told him about my drinking issues (we are still linked through a few friends) and he has been talking to other friends telling them about my problems right now. I don't know, maybe it's some revenge from our split four years back.
I can't control what he says about me, and I can't control what others find out. I just have to ride this one out and be honest and focus. This is like a school playground gossip.
Why now though?? I did have early drinking issues back then, as did he, but FOUR YEARS later? I feel this situation would have been easier to deal with whilst drinking, because then I could tell everyone to get lost, but that's the AV talking.
Anyhow, I'm good. It's down in words on 'cyberspace paper' now. Amazing how sharing with the class helps us all :-)
Had a good morning. Early AA was good, and I am cracking on with the step work, I am reaching the final stages of step 4 with my sponsor.
Someone from my past has popped up today with some random messages, like 'I told you so' messages. I don't know why this has come now, I haven't seen the guy in four years.
He's trying to hurt me (not physically) and causing trouble with some people in my life. I think maybe someone has told him about my drinking issues (we are still linked through a few friends) and he has been talking to other friends telling them about my problems right now. I don't know, maybe it's some revenge from our split four years back.
I can't control what he says about me, and I can't control what others find out. I just have to ride this one out and be honest and focus. This is like a school playground gossip.
Why now though?? I did have early drinking issues back then, as did he, but FOUR YEARS later? I feel this situation would have been easier to deal with whilst drinking, because then I could tell everyone to get lost, but that's the AV talking.
Anyhow, I'm good. It's down in words on 'cyberspace paper' now. Amazing how sharing with the class helps us all :-)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: London, Uk
Posts: 1,694
Hey Brach - I am glad you go through the stuff earlier with your mum. Nice to see you mate.
You too pink - your post about giving directions via pubs made me smile. So true, I did it today also to a lady in town 'oh yeah, do a left at Wetherspoons'
You too pink - your post about giving directions via pubs made me smile. So true, I did it today also to a lady in town 'oh yeah, do a left at Wetherspoons'
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 522
You are going to make it, grateful! Live in this moment and think of the gifts we have right now because of not drinking. Being a calm, loving mother for your children's return, reclaiming your days and evenings. Sobriety is for you, not your family! You got this!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
Originally Posted by sthlondonab
Hey guys and girls
I feel this situation would have been easier to deal with whilst drinking, because then I could tell everyone to get lost, but that's the AV talking.
Anyhow, I'm good. It's down in words on 'cyberspace paper' now. Amazing how sharing with the class helps us all :-)
I feel this situation would have been easier to deal with whilst drinking, because then I could tell everyone to get lost, but that's the AV talking.
Anyhow, I'm good. It's down in words on 'cyberspace paper' now. Amazing how sharing with the class helps us all :-)
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
I am overwhelmed with: gratitude, awe at the power of this group, serenity...
Thank you thank you thank you...I will reply to each of you personally but wanted to share that all of your words have helped me to get over this feeling.
After I last posted I went for a walk to get some food and fresh air etc. As soon as I started walking I felt a little better. Then I sat on a bench and read the responses. I felt like I could finally breathe. I took a huge inhale and felt the calm sweep through me. Big exhale. I feel so much better. Thanks team.
Thank you thank you thank you...I will reply to each of you personally but wanted to share that all of your words have helped me to get over this feeling.
After I last posted I went for a walk to get some food and fresh air etc. As soon as I started walking I felt a little better. Then I sat on a bench and read the responses. I felt like I could finally breathe. I took a huge inhale and felt the calm sweep through me. Big exhale. I feel so much better. Thanks team.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,471
Some days are a little hanging on by the fingernails Grateful. Learning to deal with stuff like this is a skill like any other. Took me a while to get it.
Beating yourself up is not going to help much
You won't regret staying true - imagine sober you on Monday morning?
remember the great tips here too, especially urge surfing :
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Sth I think you have the right attitude with that guy
[edit glad you're feeling better Grateful] D
Beating yourself up is not going to help much
You won't regret staying true - imagine sober you on Monday morning?
remember the great tips here too, especially urge surfing :
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html
Sth I think you have the right attitude with that guy
[edit glad you're feeling better Grateful
] D
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