Class of August 2014 Part 6
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: texas
Posts: 328
Originally Posted by Grateful11 
Hey Penkins! What are your weekend plans? How is the weather in TX? It is already so cold here!
Having a rough afternoon. Husband has pissed me off to no end. Just finished a crying fit i am soo mad. AV is talking loud right now.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Midwest U.S.
Posts: 1,049
Originally Posted by penkins
No weekend plans yet. The weather is cooling down here. Today high is low-mid 90s. Woohoo!
Having a rough afternoon. Husband has pissed me off to no end. Just finished a crying fit i am soo mad. AV is talking loud right now.
Having a rough afternoon. Husband has pissed me off to no end. Just finished a crying fit i am soo mad. AV is talking loud right now.
Are you able to go for a walk or drive?
Be well. Treat yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: texas
Posts: 328
Ive eaten myself sick! Ive cream. Chips. Apple pie. Cookies. Soup. Brisket. Ugh
Im actually working from home today so the temptation is strong. As Thurs afternoon was my day to hit the liquor store. I dare not get behind the wheel right now. I have been walking around the house tho. After my last meeting i may tale the walk outside. .
Im actually working from home today so the temptation is strong. As Thurs afternoon was my day to hit the liquor store. I dare not get behind the wheel right now. I have been walking around the house tho. After my last meeting i may tale the walk outside. .
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Penkins,
One of my problems has been how much freedom my job allows me to have with such things. I've actually applied to a position for way less money that would require 8-5 in office hours, no small reason being that I think it would reduce my stress and make me less likely to feel the freedom to drink the day away.
Yeah, stay home if that is what you need to do.
One of my problems has been how much freedom my job allows me to have with such things. I've actually applied to a position for way less money that would require 8-5 in office hours, no small reason being that I think it would reduce my stress and make me less likely to feel the freedom to drink the day away.
Yeah, stay home if that is what you need to do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: texas
Posts: 328
Ive thought about just going into the office to remove the temptation but so far ive done ok being at home. Its been the weekends that r harder. And now that my meeting is over it is pouring down rain. No outside walk for me. But i am gonna blast the radio to some old time 80s rock n roll. 
. Maybe dance around the house like a crazed idiot. Lol me n the dogs.
. Maybe dance around the house like a crazed idiot. Lol me n the dogs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Applekat
I had an extremely vivid drinking dream last night, specific to this weekend's upcoming events. Ugh!!!
Friday night I have a girls' dinner with a few girlfriends and one high school friend who is visiting from out of town. I'm less worried about this event as I do have to drive to the dinner (sadly as that really stopped me before) but also because this is one of those almost obligatory dinners with someone you're actually not crazy about but tolerate and chat with the few times you do see them.....so I'm going to twist my thinking that night from -"I NEED to drink in order to even be around her" to - "she's not worth sabotaging my 30+ day streak over...."
Saturday night, however, we are hosting MIL's surprise 60th birthday party. I had originally timed it to be a lunch event so we didn't have to serve alcohol but majority of people couldn't make it so now it's a dinner event. Anyway, in the past I would be sucking back wine just to get ready for the party (I've done some of my best cleaning with a wine glass nearby) and then probably go to bed at 2 AM Friday night and feel hungover Saturday but get back to prepping and then around 1/2 pour my first glass and sip all the way through getting dressed and ready for the party and then act loopy and "off" in front of guests and oh yeah forget to eat anything.....sigh.
For this one I'm going to try to separate myself from the "hosting" role and pass that off to hubby and sister in law so that for the actual party I just be "Mom" and focus on my kiddos.
I'll be checking in here, lots!!
Friday night I have a girls' dinner with a few girlfriends and one high school friend who is visiting from out of town. I'm less worried about this event as I do have to drive to the dinner (sadly as that really stopped me before) but also because this is one of those almost obligatory dinners with someone you're actually not crazy about but tolerate and chat with the few times you do see them.....so I'm going to twist my thinking that night from -"I NEED to drink in order to even be around her" to - "she's not worth sabotaging my 30+ day streak over...."
Saturday night, however, we are hosting MIL's surprise 60th birthday party. I had originally timed it to be a lunch event so we didn't have to serve alcohol but majority of people couldn't make it so now it's a dinner event. Anyway, in the past I would be sucking back wine just to get ready for the party (I've done some of my best cleaning with a wine glass nearby) and then probably go to bed at 2 AM Friday night and feel hungover Saturday but get back to prepping and then around 1/2 pour my first glass and sip all the way through getting dressed and ready for the party and then act loopy and "off" in front of guests and oh yeah forget to eat anything.....sigh.
For this one I'm going to try to separate myself from the "hosting" role and pass that off to hubby and sister in law so that for the actual party I just be "Mom" and focus on my kiddos.
I'll be checking in here, lots!!
Good attitude Apple. That's what I call taking control of the situation
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by glandon
Well, Thanks Chris, I'll share a bit about my quit. AHEM !!! well here goes:
Below are a few thoughts on the best +40 days I have had in, Oh, I don't know, maybe 40 years? Sooo...
Background: Been a steady daily drinker all my adult life, starting when I was in my twenties, with a beer or two after work each night, progressing up to 3 margaritas, or a little more a night (stiff ones). I was usually moderately drunk or at least highly intoxicated every night. I am now 63 and sold my firm. They say this is a progressive disease and I know it is true; I am a functional alcoholic. But it finally got to me and I was ready to stop. I was tired of my nose being red, my eyes bloodshot in the mornings, foggy feeling, not sleeping well, etc. More recently, I had thought of suicide very frequently, and if not that, then certainly not looking forward to much longer life here.
The Quit: So I decided to simply quit- cold turkey. That day (August 9, 2014), I got super active (getting some great planning advice in a hurry). Cleared all AL from my home, immediately started taking supplements and got some AF drink substitutes ready; my favorite, soda and lime juice and a little chocolate (AL use had created a sweets craving, and while don’t normally eat chocolate, figured that I would do this temporarily). And, this wonderful group on SR has become my lifeline to becoming AF (spent hours reading and posting). The August 2014 Class of SR’rs have become and are my “guardian angels” (see below).
Why This Time Worked: I had tried to quit a number of times over the years, without any measurable success. What made this time different? Prayer and the Graces received from prayer. I don’t kid myself for even a single moment that I suddenly became a changed person, and this quit happened by my own power and will. Yes, that day I did make an irrevocable commitment to never touch AL again, and I took a number of proactive steps to fulfill that commitment. But the single thing I did differently +40 days ago was to pray to Our Lord that if it was His will that I become sober, that He would provide me the graces to give me the strength to do things needed. I also asked the Blessed Virgin Mary for Her intercessory prayers on my behalf as well. I simply couldn't do this alone. So, I have been very blessed. I am sober (and feeling better every day) and my daily interior, spiritual life is tremendous. The phrase in The Lord's Prayer "...give us this day and our daily bread", now has a new, tangible, real quality about it. I pray every day, and I definitely know it when my prayers have been answered. Thanks!
Below are a few thoughts on the best +40 days I have had in, Oh, I don't know, maybe 40 years? Sooo...
Background: Been a steady daily drinker all my adult life, starting when I was in my twenties, with a beer or two after work each night, progressing up to 3 margaritas, or a little more a night (stiff ones). I was usually moderately drunk or at least highly intoxicated every night. I am now 63 and sold my firm. They say this is a progressive disease and I know it is true; I am a functional alcoholic. But it finally got to me and I was ready to stop. I was tired of my nose being red, my eyes bloodshot in the mornings, foggy feeling, not sleeping well, etc. More recently, I had thought of suicide very frequently, and if not that, then certainly not looking forward to much longer life here.
The Quit: So I decided to simply quit- cold turkey. That day (August 9, 2014), I got super active (getting some great planning advice in a hurry). Cleared all AL from my home, immediately started taking supplements and got some AF drink substitutes ready; my favorite, soda and lime juice and a little chocolate (AL use had created a sweets craving, and while don’t normally eat chocolate, figured that I would do this temporarily). And, this wonderful group on SR has become my lifeline to becoming AF (spent hours reading and posting). The August 2014 Class of SR’rs have become and are my “guardian angels” (see below).
Why This Time Worked: I had tried to quit a number of times over the years, without any measurable success. What made this time different? Prayer and the Graces received from prayer. I don’t kid myself for even a single moment that I suddenly became a changed person, and this quit happened by my own power and will. Yes, that day I did make an irrevocable commitment to never touch AL again, and I took a number of proactive steps to fulfill that commitment. But the single thing I did differently +40 days ago was to pray to Our Lord that if it was His will that I become sober, that He would provide me the graces to give me the strength to do things needed. I also asked the Blessed Virgin Mary for Her intercessory prayers on my behalf as well. I simply couldn't do this alone. So, I have been very blessed. I am sober (and feeling better every day) and my daily interior, spiritual life is tremendous. The phrase in The Lord's Prayer "...give us this day and our daily bread", now has a new, tangible, real quality about it. I pray every day, and I definitely know it when my prayers have been answered. Thanks!
Been sober nearly a month and not ONCE have I had those thoughts. That. Is. Really. Something.
So so so so grateful to be sober today
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by Grateful11
Hey Teammates!
Just checking in. Grateful to be sober today. It keeps getting better and better. I had really vivid weird dreams last night. So wild how I can still remember every detail.
I have no big weekend plans. Excited to do a lot of biking, reading, yoga and dinner with friends. Would love to see a movie...any suggestions? What is everyone else doing for the weekend?
I have been reading "Awareness" by Anthony De Mello. A book rec from Class of August 2013. It is a powerful book that is helping me so much with self-observation - especially regarding how attached I am to other people's responses and reactions. My expectations of other people used to set me up for disappointment and depression when I really should not depend on others to be happy. I feel like I am becoming a new person. I used to care so much about what others thought of me. I still care very much about my loved ones; I just don't care what they think of me anymore. I don't care what strangers think of me anymore either. For example, I used to take it so personally if someone did not respond to my posts here on SR. Now I just think it was either not intentional or it was intentional. Either way it does not matter. If it was intentional then it is the other person's issue. I know who I am. I am a good Mom. I am a good friend. I am a good person who used to be very, very sick.
AppleKat - lots of good insight into past hosting behaviors...keep a NA drink in your hand at the party...you will do great...let them think you are preggo!
Brach - Great positive post! So glad things are much better.
London - Even your posts have a British accent. You inspire me.
Glandon - Good stuff! Thank you.
Work it sober because YOU are WORTH it #TeamAugust!
Just checking in. Grateful to be sober today. It keeps getting better and better. I had really vivid weird dreams last night. So wild how I can still remember every detail.
I have no big weekend plans. Excited to do a lot of biking, reading, yoga and dinner with friends. Would love to see a movie...any suggestions? What is everyone else doing for the weekend?
I have been reading "Awareness" by Anthony De Mello. A book rec from Class of August 2013. It is a powerful book that is helping me so much with self-observation - especially regarding how attached I am to other people's responses and reactions. My expectations of other people used to set me up for disappointment and depression when I really should not depend on others to be happy. I feel like I am becoming a new person. I used to care so much about what others thought of me. I still care very much about my loved ones; I just don't care what they think of me anymore. I don't care what strangers think of me anymore either. For example, I used to take it so personally if someone did not respond to my posts here on SR. Now I just think it was either not intentional or it was intentional. Either way it does not matter. If it was intentional then it is the other person's issue. I know who I am. I am a good Mom. I am a good friend. I am a good person who used to be very, very sick.
AppleKat - lots of good insight into past hosting behaviors...keep a NA drink in your hand at the party...you will do great...let them think you are preggo!
Brach - Great positive post! So glad things are much better.
London - Even your posts have a British accent. You inspire me.
Glandon - Good stuff! Thank you.
Work it sober because YOU are WORTH it #TeamAugust!
Your book sounds fascinating. I am currently reading Emotional Intelligence by Gill Hasson. It sounds very similar to your book.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by ScooterBoo
Hello everyone,
Today is Day 34 for me; I am still in awe, and I thank God constantly for SR.
I am flying to D.C. early tomorrow morning to sign some papers for some property an uncle left my five siblings and me that we decided to sell as none of us are close enough to manage it. After that we are all going to the Red Sox games in Baltimore tomorrow night and Saturday night. Then on Sunday one sister and her husband are driving me back to the airport in Providence for my car on their way home to Boston. I am bringing dark chocolate, nuts and granola bars so I don't get hungry enough for my AV to start up.
I have been looking forward to this, but I am nervous about drinking. I am sure they will all want to celebrate.
Today is Day 34 for me; I am still in awe, and I thank God constantly for SR.
I am flying to D.C. early tomorrow morning to sign some papers for some property an uncle left my five siblings and me that we decided to sell as none of us are close enough to manage it. After that we are all going to the Red Sox games in Baltimore tomorrow night and Saturday night. Then on Sunday one sister and her husband are driving me back to the airport in Providence for my car on their way home to Boston. I am bringing dark chocolate, nuts and granola bars so I don't get hungry enough for my AV to start up.
I have been looking forward to this, but I am nervous about drinking. I am sure they will all want to celebrate.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 3,403
Originally Posted by penkins
Ive thought about just going into the office to remove the temptation but so far ive done ok being at home. Its been the weekends that r harder. And now that my meeting is over it is pouring down rain. No outside walk for me. But i am gonna blast the radio to some old time 80s rock n roll. . Maybe dance around the house like a crazed idiot. Lol me n the dogs.
. Maybe dance around the house like a crazed idiot. Lol me n the dogs.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 222
Originally Posted by penkins
Ive thought about just going into the office to remove the temptation but so far ive done ok being at home. Its been the weekends that r harder. And now that my meeting is over it is pouring down rain. No outside walk for me. But i am gonna blast the radio to some old time 80s rock n roll. . Maybe dance around the house like a crazed idiot. Lol me n the dogs.
. Maybe dance around the house like a crazed idiot. Lol me n the dogs.
haha, although he's a bit hectic isn't he.
I blew of some steam by working out today. That's the second time this week, unthinkable.. I felt it called for a change in motivational avatar pic.
G'nigh team.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
[QUOTE=penkins;4905808]Ive eaten myself sick! Ive cream. Chips. Apple pie. Cookies. Soup. Brisket. Ugh
I do this , too. It beats drinking! And, when I was finished drinking, I always got the hungry horrors and ate, ate, ate - mostly junk food. I might be eating a lot whenever the AV comes calling, but I am definitely taking in more calories than I did when drinking.
I cannot tell you how many times I was dieting, but thought a few Lite beers would be fine - - then at some point blacked out and woke to find I had ordered and eaten a pizza or Chinese food.
I do this , too. It beats drinking! And, when I was finished drinking, I always got the hungry horrors and ate, ate, ate - mostly junk food. I might be eating a lot whenever the AV comes calling, but I am definitely taking in more calories than I did when drinking.
I cannot tell you how many times I was dieting, but thought a few Lite beers would be fine - - then at some point blacked out and woke to find I had ordered and eaten a pizza or Chinese food.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: CapeCod, MA
Posts: 842
Originally Posted by TXAlchy
Penkins,
One of my problems has been how much freedom my job allows me to have with such things. I've actually applied to a position for way less money that would require 8-5 in office hours, no small reason being that I think it would reduce my stress and make me less likely to feel the freedom to drink the day away.
Yeah, stay home if that is what you need to do.
One of my problems has been how much freedom my job allows me to have with such things. I've actually applied to a position for way less money that would require 8-5 in office hours, no small reason being that I think it would reduce my stress and make me less likely to feel the freedom to drink the day away.
Yeah, stay home if that is what you need to do.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sotogrande, Spain
Posts: 30
You guys really are awesome. Thank you, and seriously, reading your posts keeps my head above water (insert relevant liquid here!
Been trying to keep busy after Tuesday's event, but actually managed to dive head first into my first sober social event... Oops! Met up with an old friend who was visiting family in Mijas... He always knew me as a big drinker so was surprised to hear that I am no longer on the sauce. Still, he was very supportive and didn't try and persuade me with an ice cold San Miguel... He was more surprised at my weight loss and how I still managed to eat keto in a Spanish bar! Easy peasy really... Meat and veg and avoid the bread basket!
A few tears today trying to clean the house and finding "Mousey" in one of my shoes (Dave always hid Mousey places for me to find and considering I saw Mousey on the floor on Monday night it must have been one of his last movements in the house). My OH had an exam today for her Psych degree so we celebrated with a Chinese meal and some Diet Vimto in champagne flutes. This would have been an occasion to get totally smacko in the past so I'm proud of us both.
Tomorrow we are off to my old stomping ground, Madrid, for a couple of days. I need to get away for a while, now more than ever! When Dave was sick I had resolved to just abandon the trip but now... Ugh. I need it. We are even breaking the diet till Monday (hence the Chinese today!) Looking forward to a breath of fresh(?) air and seeing my old haunts. This time... stone cold sober!
Have a great, strong weekend you guys and girls. And thank you again for your support. You really are the greatest.
xx
Been trying to keep busy after Tuesday's event, but actually managed to dive head first into my first sober social event... Oops! Met up with an old friend who was visiting family in Mijas... He always knew me as a big drinker so was surprised to hear that I am no longer on the sauce. Still, he was very supportive and didn't try and persuade me with an ice cold San Miguel... He was more surprised at my weight loss and how I still managed to eat keto in a Spanish bar! Easy peasy really... Meat and veg and avoid the bread basket!
A few tears today trying to clean the house and finding "Mousey" in one of my shoes (Dave always hid Mousey places for me to find and considering I saw Mousey on the floor on Monday night it must have been one of his last movements in the house). My OH had an exam today for her Psych degree so we celebrated with a Chinese meal and some Diet Vimto in champagne flutes. This would have been an occasion to get totally smacko in the past so I'm proud of us both.
Tomorrow we are off to my old stomping ground, Madrid, for a couple of days. I need to get away for a while, now more than ever! When Dave was sick I had resolved to just abandon the trip but now... Ugh. I need it. We are even breaking the diet till Monday (hence the Chinese today!) Looking forward to a breath of fresh(?) air and seeing my old haunts. This time... stone cold sober!
Have a great, strong weekend you guys and girls. And thank you again for your support. You really are the greatest.
xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: peterborough uk
Posts: 1,171
lovely evening walk had, lovely bit of fresh air and exercise......... then ate 3 bags of popcorn 
still, better than the old potions eh?
well that's another day down, phew :-)
I was just calculating how much money ive saved on booze in 3 weeks, and am thinking, its pay day on the 25th, and I have £29 left. How the hell did I afford it (and I ALWAYS found the money to drink). Then casting my mind back to each day, I think of all of the things I have bought saying 'well that would have been a bottle of wine, so Ive saved that, so i deserve that treat' such as clothes and other treats, and worked out that actually I have saved not a penny since giving up the drink!
maybe next month i'll notice!!
hope you've all had a fab day guys, im off to my slumber paradise for some sweet sober dreams, night night all xxx
still, better than the old potions eh?
well that's another day down, phew :-)
I was just calculating how much money ive saved on booze in 3 weeks, and am thinking, its pay day on the 25th, and I have £29 left. How the hell did I afford it (and I ALWAYS found the money to drink). Then casting my mind back to each day, I think of all of the things I have bought saying 'well that would have been a bottle of wine, so Ive saved that, so i deserve that treat' such as clothes and other treats, and worked out that actually I have saved not a penny since giving up the drink!
maybe next month i'll notice!!
hope you've all had a fab day guys, im off to my slumber paradise for some sweet sober dreams, night night all xxx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Have a great break in Madrid zozo its well deserved.
Glandon- thanks, I quit on August 18th, Im on day 32 now. How did I get this far? Posting here and the support of this class has helped me immensely, also AA meetings most days have given me face to face support.
I managed 2months and 2days from May 16th to July 18th this year, had a 2week major binge then off it for a week of white knuckle enforced sobriety, then another 1week binge to finish me off. Was doing AA and posting in the May class last time so I am scared of history repeating itself, also managed around 3months over last Xmas time so I know I can't think Ive cracked it this time, the thing I cling to is Ive probably been sober longer this year longer than Ive ever been since the age of 15 and Im 33 now!!
Feel Ive learnt from where I went wrong the last times Ive slipped, isolating in life and on here were factors so making a conscious effort to post now every day if I can and share how I feel up or down (sorry for the moaning in past posts!), helps to share in AA meetings as well and not just to amuse people or make them laugh or to try to impress them, trying to share from the heart and sometimes its not easy but its getting easier.
Glandon- thanks, I quit on August 18th, Im on day 32 now. How did I get this far? Posting here and the support of this class has helped me immensely, also AA meetings most days have given me face to face support.
I managed 2months and 2days from May 16th to July 18th this year, had a 2week major binge then off it for a week of white knuckle enforced sobriety, then another 1week binge to finish me off. Was doing AA and posting in the May class last time so I am scared of history repeating itself, also managed around 3months over last Xmas time so I know I can't think Ive cracked it this time, the thing I cling to is Ive probably been sober longer this year longer than Ive ever been since the age of 15 and Im 33 now!!
Feel Ive learnt from where I went wrong the last times Ive slipped, isolating in life and on here were factors so making a conscious effort to post now every day if I can and share how I feel up or down (sorry for the moaning in past posts!), helps to share in AA meetings as well and not just to amuse people or make them laugh or to try to impress them, trying to share from the heart and sometimes its not easy but its getting easier.
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