Class of April 2014 Part 7
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Don't be sorry Sol. I feel for you just try not to drink again, it won't help. I am going to be praying that you make it there in time.
Don't you dare try to leave us, you are one of us now and we are here for you.
Don't you dare try to leave us, you are one of us now and we are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Soliloquy, I'm so sorry this is happening. You have nothing to apologize to us for. I'm hoping for the best possible outcome for all of you. I hope you have safe travels, and your whole family is in my thoughts. Take care of yourself as best you can.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Too far up North
Posts: 284
Nice. I was listening to the Pink Floyd Pandora station last night .
Last time I lost someone close I went into a really dark place and I drank a lot. I know my husband won't let that happen. I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this. I've just got to keep thinking positive. I'm praying. She can make it. I'm terrified to see her. I don't know how I'm not going to lose my ****. And my dad. He's always taken care of me and now he needs me to be strong. I don't know if I can be. I'm an emotional wreck. It's hard enough trying to keep it together in front of the kids. I feel like there's a hole in my stomach and my head is about to explode.
Last time I lost someone close I went into a really dark place and I drank a lot. I know my husband won't let that happen. I just don't know how I'm going to deal with this. I've just got to keep thinking positive. I'm praying. She can make it. I'm terrified to see her. I don't know how I'm not going to lose my ****. And my dad. He's always taken care of me and now he needs me to be strong. I don't know if I can be. I'm an emotional wreck. It's hard enough trying to keep it together in front of the kids. I feel like there's a hole in my stomach and my head is about to explode.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 313
Izzy I'm so obsessed with all the one-liners in Downton!!! My husband asked me what y favorite characters are and it's so hard to choose because I love everyone!
Sorry you're going through such a tough time Sol
Everyone is always in my prayers and thoughts.
I'm still sick but getting a little better every day, slowly but surely! Hopefully I'm all recovered by Saturday, as it's my university graduation ceremony. STILL haven't heard anything from the place I did a phone interview...my resume is out at a bunch of other places too. It's really hard to not feel discouraged but I'm trying. I can probably find another retail position but my last job of ten years that I quit was retail...it bums me out to know that I spent all this time and money on a degree and it's likely I will end up right back in the field I went back to school to escape. Such is life though.
Sorry you're going through such a tough time Sol
Everyone is always in my prayers and thoughts.
I'm still sick but getting a little better every day, slowly but surely! Hopefully I'm all recovered by Saturday, as it's my university graduation ceremony. STILL haven't heard anything from the place I did a phone interview...my resume is out at a bunch of other places too. It's really hard to not feel discouraged but I'm trying. I can probably find another retail position but my last job of ten years that I quit was retail...it bums me out to know that I spent all this time and money on a degree and it's likely I will end up right back in the field I went back to school to escape. Such is life though.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Sol just being there with your dad will give both of you strength. We will be here for you in any way we can help. Just lean on us.
Please don't drink before you see her, it will be better in the long run. Just know she loves you.
Please don't drink before you see her, it will be better in the long run. Just know she loves you.
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
Soliloquy - I don't know what to say, but I am thinking of you and hoping you will make it through this. I will try to send comforting thoughts to you... that is my way of praying. And like others have said - don't be sorry!
Blood Countess
Join Date: May 2014
Location: A castle
Posts: 340
And thank you everyone for welcoming me. This seems like a great place to hang out in... I'm dealing with a chest cold now, and it's really difficult for me. You would think it'd be easier to not drink when sick, but nope... last night, in the middle of the night, I woke up in a groggy state and for some reason decided that today I would say **** it and go get wine. And drink it aaallll. No one to stop me! And then I wouldn't tell my therapist. But then I was like, nope, I just can't lie to her... my brain will not allow me to.
And then I thought of all the things that would happen *after* I drank.... so so far, I haven't had anything to drink.
Even though today, feeling so sick and achy, I walked over to the alcohol and was like "wow, this would make me feel *so* much better! Just a little bit, to help me sleep through this sickness.... or sit out on the deck and just get freakin drunk like I used to!!" But. I made it through that craving, and I'm still here.... drinking coffee and enjoying a smoothie. Aaargh.
Sorry, maybe I should write all this in my blog. We have blogs here, I think?
Anyway. Stay strong everyone. I think everyone here is stronger than they think. Because you're here!! And trying. That counts.
And then I thought of all the things that would happen *after* I drank.... so so far, I haven't had anything to drink.
Even though today, feeling so sick and achy, I walked over to the alcohol and was like "wow, this would make me feel *so* much better! Just a little bit, to help me sleep through this sickness.... or sit out on the deck and just get freakin drunk like I used to!!" But. I made it through that craving, and I'm still here.... drinking coffee and enjoying a smoothie. Aaargh.
Sorry, maybe I should write all this in my blog. We have blogs here, I think?
Anyway. Stay strong everyone. I think everyone here is stronger than they think. Because you're here!! And trying. That counts.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Hogwarts
Posts: 3,233
Good Morning everyone! I’m a little slow moving this morning, its rainy and cold. I’ve got more chicks to knit for the rest of the kids today. You know how kids are when one get something they all want one… I’m getting more creative color combinations from all of them! Anyone ever seen a green chicken? Lol.
It is date night tonight, totally looking forward to that! After he stomach Olympics this past weekend I don’t know if we will actually go out, but a nice quite night at home with a movie would be wonderful!
Obo- Congrats on day 19!!
Free- Thanks for complementing the chick. I used to have the opposite problem, I knit way too tight. I’ve been able to loosen it up as long as I’m not stressed. Have you tried holding the yarn differently in your hand? Looping it over one more finger might help.
ST- I agree about sleeping through the site being down! Congrats on day 37! That number is really getting up there!
Up- Wake UP you troublemaker!!
I’m with Adna… I don’t even know how to respond to fried chicken!! Lol. You did make me think about how chickens are butchered! *Chick hides little chicks behind her back and gives anyone wheedling a knife around her chicks the B**** Brow!!*
Kat- I thought of you and your new kindle last night while I was reading on my phone in the tub!! Have you tried the baggie trick out yet? I like the book, I really started to relate after she started going to meetings, I still have a the last few chapters to go today. Then I downloaded Drinking A Love Story to listen to while knitting chicks.
Pan- Thank you, it photographed well… the wings and tail feathers are a smidge crooked! Lol.
Mariah- Congrats on 30 days!!! That is fantastic!! I am so jealous of your fabulous weather! Send some my way!
Adna- We think the world of you too!!
Izzy- getting out the door is my problem too!! I keep thinking I’ll get one of the kids to go run (read walk fast or maybe jog) with me. .. we have beautiful places to walk/hike around here. Just have to get up and do it! I told myself at 30 days I am MAKING myself get out and move. Until then I am being easy on myself (read lazy).
Solil - BIG I am so sorry to hear about your mom, your family is still in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine how tough that would be. Please don’t say sorry to us, we are here for you. I’m sure everyone else has more wise and comforting words than I do. Please post as often as possible, you will be on my mind constantly. Have a safe trip to your mom.
Mrsbee- You are so lucky your husband will watch Downton with you, my hubby thinks it is too slow. My daughter will watch some with me though. I’m glad you are getting a little better. Sick is no fun! Maybe no news about the job is good news. I will be thinking good thoughts for you!
Lucrezia- I’m gald you decided to join us. I used to drink while sick, so I get how you were feeling. Be strong though, your body will heal more quickly. I think here in the forum is a great place to post when you are feeling like that, you get responses more quickly here.
Anyone else I missed I hope you are having a good day!!
It is date night tonight, totally looking forward to that! After he stomach Olympics this past weekend I don’t know if we will actually go out, but a nice quite night at home with a movie would be wonderful!
Obo- Congrats on day 19!!
Free- Thanks for complementing the chick. I used to have the opposite problem, I knit way too tight. I’ve been able to loosen it up as long as I’m not stressed. Have you tried holding the yarn differently in your hand? Looping it over one more finger might help.
ST- I agree about sleeping through the site being down! Congrats on day 37! That number is really getting up there!
Up- Wake UP you troublemaker!!
I’m with Adna… I don’t even know how to respond to fried chicken!! Lol. You did make me think about how chickens are butchered! *Chick hides little chicks behind her back and gives anyone wheedling a knife around her chicks the B**** Brow!!* Kat- I thought of you and your new kindle last night while I was reading on my phone in the tub!! Have you tried the baggie trick out yet? I like the book, I really started to relate after she started going to meetings, I still have a the last few chapters to go today. Then I downloaded Drinking A Love Story to listen to while knitting chicks.
Pan- Thank you, it photographed well… the wings and tail feathers are a smidge crooked! Lol.
Mariah- Congrats on 30 days!!! That is fantastic!! I am so jealous of your fabulous weather! Send some my way!
Adna- We think the world of you too!!
Izzy- getting out the door is my problem too!! I keep thinking I’ll get one of the kids to go run (read walk fast or maybe jog) with me. .. we have beautiful places to walk/hike around here. Just have to get up and do it! I told myself at 30 days I am MAKING myself get out and move. Until then I am being easy on myself (read lazy).
Solil - BIG
I am so sorry to hear about your mom, your family is still in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine how tough that would be. Please don’t say sorry to us, we are here for you. I’m sure everyone else has more wise and comforting words than I do. Please post as often as possible, you will be on my mind constantly. Have a safe trip to your mom. Mrsbee- You are so lucky your husband will watch Downton with you, my hubby thinks it is too slow. My daughter will watch some with me though. I’m glad you are getting a little better. Sick is no fun! Maybe no news about the job is good news. I will be thinking good thoughts for you!
Lucrezia- I’m gald you decided to join us. I used to drink while sick, so I get how you were feeling. Be strong though, your body will heal more quickly. I think here in the forum is a great place to post when you are feeling like that, you get responses more quickly here.
Anyone else I missed I hope you are having a good day!!
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Originally Posted by ChickChick 
Up- Wake UP you troublemaker!! I’m with Adna… I don’t even know how to respond to fried chicken!! Lol. You did make me think about how chickens are butchered! *Chick hides little chicks behind her back and gives anyone wheedling a knife around her chicks the B**** Brow!!*
I’m with Adna… I don’t even know how to respond to fried chicken!! Lol. You did make me think about how chickens are butchered! *Chick hides little chicks behind her back and gives anyone wheedling a knife around her chicks the B**** Brow!!*
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: AZ
Posts: 140
Hi Everyone,
Well, I am still sober. White knuckles all the way at this point, but still. I am still tapering off the valium, which is a pretty long process, but I know I cannot trust myself so I am giving my bottle of pills to my sister to dole out to me so I don't have any access. I saw my therapist yesterday and worked through some of my anger and stress. I am starting a physical regimen today to help relieve the frustration - I am going to be walking on my lunch breaks for an hour. Lots of hills around here, so it should get my heart pumping. I also decided to start golfing again (walking the course, no cart) and my husband and I bought fishing kayaks. I am going to spend as much time in the woods as I can and try to find some peace.
I found out this morning that my bonehead son is going to graduate (barely) so at least that's over with. I definitely need to do some very physical exercise before I punch my boss's lights out! I can't afford to lose my job, so I just have to suck it up and deal.
Thank you, everyone, for being here for me. I love my family and friends and they try to be supportive, but I can tell it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. No one in my life truly understands addiction except you guys, here at SR. I think I would have broken if not for you allowing me to rant, and allowing me to be a part of your recovery as well. Sometimes just reading posts for a few hours and lurking just makes me feel better. Anyway, I have made it to day 38 and am not giving up or giving in. I will not let my addictions control me.
Well, I am still sober. White knuckles all the way at this point, but still. I am still tapering off the valium, which is a pretty long process, but I know I cannot trust myself so I am giving my bottle of pills to my sister to dole out to me so I don't have any access. I saw my therapist yesterday and worked through some of my anger and stress. I am starting a physical regimen today to help relieve the frustration - I am going to be walking on my lunch breaks for an hour. Lots of hills around here, so it should get my heart pumping. I also decided to start golfing again (walking the course, no cart) and my husband and I bought fishing kayaks. I am going to spend as much time in the woods as I can and try to find some peace.
I found out this morning that my bonehead son is going to graduate (barely) so at least that's over with. I definitely need to do some very physical exercise before I punch my boss's lights out! I can't afford to lose my job, so I just have to suck it up and deal.
Thank you, everyone, for being here for me. I love my family and friends and they try to be supportive, but I can tell it makes them uncomfortable to be around me. No one in my life truly understands addiction except you guys, here at SR. I think I would have broken if not for you allowing me to rant, and allowing me to be a part of your recovery as well. Sometimes just reading posts for a few hours and lurking just makes me feel better. Anyway, I have made it to day 38 and am not giving up or giving in. I will not let my addictions control me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Lucrezia- you're in the right spot !
Welcome
Mrsbee, Glad to hear you're health is improving a little , .... you're a huge success , not drinking any more , ... I have to believe the rest is gonna work out,..
Pan, ..way to go with the workouts , .... thank you for the inspiration , I need to lace up , ...that's always been the hardest part, it seems .
Izzy , and Chichchick , ...y'all are foolproof smilemakers, ...every dang day !?!
How yoo do dat ?
Mariah , ...big Congrats on 30 days girl !!
Freein , love the imagery in your garden , ....hope the holy offset the unholy
obo, ....hope all is well , and your keyboard's not too far away,
Thanks for the beautiful posts everyone ,... what a way to start the day !
Welcome
Mrsbee, Glad to hear you're health is improving a little , .... you're a huge success , not drinking any more , ... I have to believe the rest is gonna work out,..
Pan, ..way to go with the workouts , .... thank you for the inspiration , I need to lace up , ...that's always been the hardest part, it seems .
Izzy , and Chichchick , ...y'all are foolproof smilemakers, ...every dang day !?!
How yoo do dat ?
Mariah , ...big Congrats on 30 days girl !!
Freein , love the imagery in your garden , ....hope the holy offset the unholy
obo, ....hope all is well , and your keyboard's not too far away,
Thanks for the beautiful posts everyone ,... what a way to start the day !
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