Class Of November 2012 - Part 7
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Congrats Bashforth and GreatGatsby -- two years is amazing!
Wow Nomis. That must've been frightening - I'm glad you were able to do the right thing and no one got hurt. I'm amazed how sobriety how can make us grateful in so many situations. And more empathetic as well. I definitely used to think things like "how could anyone do that?", "I would never do that"...until I became one of those people and did and said things I never thought I would...not robbing houses obviously, but you know what I mean. Now I see things in a different light and it makes me so grateful for recovery. Also much more grateful for the simple things...like being able to drive with my kids any time of day without worry, not having to worry about my husband or kids finding my secret stash or finding me drinking at inappropriate times, waking up feeling good in the morning, remembering what I say and do...the list goes on.
Thought I'd share a couple things...this weekend I was going through some old papers and found a little journal/calendar from when I was struggling to quit. I was never consistent about journaling, but as I kept grasping for different ways to stay sober, I tried it a few times. There were two different months where I jotted down how I was feeling and made marks whether I drank or not. It was really hard and sad to look at. It brought me back to those days of the horrible anxiety, shame and guilt and the viscious cycle I kept myself in for so long. Anyway I felt a little down and ashamed about it. I thought of ripping that journal up and throwing it away - I thought that might be therapeutic - but mostly because I hated reading it. I decided to keep it just in case I ever need a reminder of where I was. Also, I'm working on a Christmas gift and I'm going through old pictures. Looking at family pictures from my drinking years makes me sad and ashamed. There are some pictures where I know I let alcohol take priority over what was going on, there are some that just remind me of my behavior and my struggles and there are some that have nothing to do with drinking but that's all I think about when I look at them - is my struggle with drinking during that period of our lives. I hope someday I can look at them and see what everyone else does - beautiful memories of special events and happy times - and not just be reminded of a dark period in my life. So I'm working on a change in perspective. I'm trying to let go of the shame and working on forgiving myself. I think that's an important next step to move forward in my recovery, but it is hard.
This made me laugh! So true...
I'm trying to shop and decorate early so that the season won't be so stressful, I'll let you know how that goes 
One last thing...my family is gathering at my sister's house for Thanksgiving. We all help in the cooking and are "assigned" to bring certain items. Guess who they put in charge of beverages this year?!? Yup, me! I hope if anyone wants beer or wine with dinner they bring it themselves, because I'm not!
Take care everyone - I'm grateful for all of you
Wow Nomis. That must've been frightening - I'm glad you were able to do the right thing and no one got hurt. I'm amazed how sobriety how can make us grateful in so many situations. And more empathetic as well. I definitely used to think things like "how could anyone do that?", "I would never do that"...until I became one of those people and did and said things I never thought I would...not robbing houses obviously, but you know what I mean. Now I see things in a different light and it makes me so grateful for recovery. Also much more grateful for the simple things...like being able to drive with my kids any time of day without worry, not having to worry about my husband or kids finding my secret stash or finding me drinking at inappropriate times, waking up feeling good in the morning, remembering what I say and do...the list goes on.
Thought I'd share a couple things...this weekend I was going through some old papers and found a little journal/calendar from when I was struggling to quit. I was never consistent about journaling, but as I kept grasping for different ways to stay sober, I tried it a few times. There were two different months where I jotted down how I was feeling and made marks whether I drank or not. It was really hard and sad to look at. It brought me back to those days of the horrible anxiety, shame and guilt and the viscious cycle I kept myself in for so long. Anyway I felt a little down and ashamed about it. I thought of ripping that journal up and throwing it away - I thought that might be therapeutic - but mostly because I hated reading it. I decided to keep it just in case I ever need a reminder of where I was. Also, I'm working on a Christmas gift and I'm going through old pictures. Looking at family pictures from my drinking years makes me sad and ashamed. There are some pictures where I know I let alcohol take priority over what was going on, there are some that just remind me of my behavior and my struggles and there are some that have nothing to do with drinking but that's all I think about when I look at them - is my struggle with drinking during that period of our lives. I hope someday I can look at them and see what everyone else does - beautiful memories of special events and happy times - and not just be reminded of a dark period in my life. So I'm working on a change in perspective. I'm trying to let go of the shame and working on forgiving myself. I think that's an important next step to move forward in my recovery, but it is hard.
This made me laugh! So true...
Take care every one, and get ready for the holidays, all recovering alcoholics favorite time of the year!
One last thing...my family is gathering at my sister's house for Thanksgiving. We all help in the cooking and are "assigned" to bring certain items. Guess who they put in charge of beverages this year?!? Yup, me! I hope if anyone wants beer or wine with dinner they bring it themselves, because I'm not!
Take care everyone - I'm grateful for all of you
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
Congrats Bashful and Great Gatsby
Scary stuff Nomis
FMFT I hope you can make peace with your past. However bad things got, we've left those years behind us and come out the other side.
Many like us can't say that.
We know the value of every day
D
Scary stuff Nomis
FMFT I hope you can make peace with your past. However bad things got, we've left those years behind us and come out the other side.
Many like us can't say that.
We know the value of every day
D
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
I think those feelings are natural FMFT. But, I think it could be useful when looking at those pics to also think about how strong you've become since then, and take pride and courage from that. The past is the past, look at what an amazing person you've become today!
I'm Wide Awake
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 766
FMFT, you are right about this being a process! You are amazing and an inspiration to me.
Happy Thanksgiving if you are celebrating today. Since it's just the four of us, I'm making a chicken pot pie with mashed potato topping, cranberry sauce, green beans, more mashed potatoes for the kids, yeast rolls and pumpkin pie. I might make chocolate chip cookies too. Our neighbor is having a "Friendsgiving" on Saturday and we're making macaroni and cheese for that. There will be quite a few people there so that will be our more traditional meal.
Finn is on his third time out of the morning...LOL. He doesn't realize this isn't my first dog rodeo and if he misbehaves, he's back on the leash and will stay close to me until he calms down. He just loves to play with our other dog, Zeus, but enough is enough sometimes. Young dogs are a lot of work, but he's going to grow into being a great dog. I miss Charlee very much still, but am grateful that I rescued Finn.
My best goes out to all of you.
Happy Thanksgiving if you are celebrating today. Since it's just the four of us, I'm making a chicken pot pie with mashed potato topping, cranberry sauce, green beans, more mashed potatoes for the kids, yeast rolls and pumpkin pie. I might make chocolate chip cookies too. Our neighbor is having a "Friendsgiving" on Saturday and we're making macaroni and cheese for that. There will be quite a few people there so that will be our more traditional meal.
Finn is on his third time out of the morning...LOL. He doesn't realize this isn't my first dog rodeo and if he misbehaves, he's back on the leash and will stay close to me until he calms down. He just loves to play with our other dog, Zeus, but enough is enough sometimes. Young dogs are a lot of work, but he's going to grow into being a great dog. I miss Charlee very much still, but am grateful that I rescued Finn.
My best goes out to all of you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Have a great day Charlee. It sounds like even though you don't have extended family around, you make it a very nice celebration for you and the family. Sometimes simpler is better in my opinion. Boy, having a young dog sound like having a small baby...that's why when my kids ask for a dog I tell them no...3 children is enough! Seriously thought, it sounds like he also brings alot of joy so that's great.
Well, we are digging out from a snow storm here. Had to switch my Thanksgiving travel plans from yesterday to today, but it will all work out for the best. I'll be out of town for a few days and am looking forward to time at my sisters. We always have a great time, playing silly games and watching silly movies, it's a nice break from daily life and I'm looking forward to it. The packing up is a pain, but the fun is worth it.
Take care everyone
Well, we are digging out from a snow storm here. Had to switch my Thanksgiving travel plans from yesterday to today, but it will all work out for the best. I'll be out of town for a few days and am looking forward to time at my sisters. We always have a great time, playing silly games and watching silly movies, it's a nice break from daily life and I'm looking forward to it. The packing up is a pain, but the fun is worth it.
Take care everyone
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you to JDS and everyone else. Santa didn't bring a whole lot Nomis's way this year, that happens when you're 38 and have no children, so I rectified that and went on a shopping spree, and spent wwwwwayyyy too much money. No spring vacation to mexico for me this year.
Hope everyone is doing great and staying strong through this most wonderful time of the year.
Hope everyone is doing great and staying strong through this most wonderful time of the year.
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Hi everyone. It's been a while, but all is well. I hope you are all doing okay and that your new year is off to a good start. Nothing really new here. Just busy with kids and work, etc. Good to be into the new year and happy to see the days getting longer again.
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Good to hear from you as always VR. Same same here, just fighting through the dog days of winter, looking at spring as my beacon of light. Two....more....months.
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