Class Of November 2012 - Part 7
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Hi Novies.
Some of you know already, but after 14 months I relapsed. It's one of my biggest regrets in life, is that decision to drink again. Nothing changed, in fact it got worse as far as horrible anxiety this time around. I've spent the last 3 months trying to get it back on track. It's been difficult. But I've got to the point now where I know I've had enough and this is it.
So I'm doing the work to get my recovery back. I joined the April class and I'm trying to consistently post in the 24 hour thread again. I'm reading, listening to relaxation tapes, things that help me settle my mind.
I wanted to let you all know where I'm at. Veryready said to me that one thing that keeps him from drinking again is the thought of being an 80 year old drunk. I've thought about that alot. It occurred to me that I don't want to be a 42 year old drunk mother. I convinced myself that somehow I was a better mom and wife when I drank because I was more relaxed and more fun. That's a lie and I know it. It's progressive and before long I was once again a person I hardly recognized and not who I want to be. So here I am, ready again.
Thanks for always being here for me. Hope you all are well.
Some of you know already, but after 14 months I relapsed. It's one of my biggest regrets in life, is that decision to drink again. Nothing changed, in fact it got worse as far as horrible anxiety this time around. I've spent the last 3 months trying to get it back on track. It's been difficult. But I've got to the point now where I know I've had enough and this is it.
So I'm doing the work to get my recovery back. I joined the April class and I'm trying to consistently post in the 24 hour thread again. I'm reading, listening to relaxation tapes, things that help me settle my mind.
I wanted to let you all know where I'm at. Veryready said to me that one thing that keeps him from drinking again is the thought of being an 80 year old drunk. I've thought about that alot. It occurred to me that I don't want to be a 42 year old drunk mother. I convinced myself that somehow I was a better mom and wife when I drank because I was more relaxed and more fun. That's a lie and I know it. It's progressive and before long I was once again a person I hardly recognized and not who I want to be. So here I am, ready again.
Thanks for always being here for me. Hope you all are well.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 102
Hey Guys, Just thought of you all today, wanted to check in. Still sober, sneaking up on 900 days!
FMFT, sorry to hear. Get back on the horse, learn something about yourself and keep your head up.
Hope the rest of you are all doing well.
FMFT, sorry to hear. Get back on the horse, learn something about yourself and keep your head up.
Hope the rest of you are all doing well.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
Thanks guys.
I know what I have to do, I've done it before. And I'm learning from past mistakes so hopefully I won't continue to repeat them.
I'm on vacation right now with my family. We just spent a couple of days at Disneyworld. This is a blessing to have this vacation as I try to get back on track. The temptation to drink is nothing like when I'm home and living daily life. It's giving me a chance to step back and think about what triggers me, when and why I get my strongest urges, and how I respond to them. Most importantly how I plan to respond and handle them when we get back home. I really can't change anything about my life and what triggers me, the only thing I can change is me. So I have another week of vacation to work some things out and then the real work begins when I get back home.
Take care all. And congrats on your sober time, I am proud of each you.
I know what I have to do, I've done it before. And I'm learning from past mistakes so hopefully I won't continue to repeat them.
I'm on vacation right now with my family. We just spent a couple of days at Disneyworld. This is a blessing to have this vacation as I try to get back on track. The temptation to drink is nothing like when I'm home and living daily life. It's giving me a chance to step back and think about what triggers me, when and why I get my strongest urges, and how I respond to them. Most importantly how I plan to respond and handle them when we get back home. I really can't change anything about my life and what triggers me, the only thing I can change is me. So I have another week of vacation to work some things out and then the real work begins when I get back home.
Take care all. And congrats on your sober time, I am proud of each you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Panama City, Panama
Posts: 116
Hey guys... just dropping in to say hello... Had you all on my mind. So proud of all of you who are still fighting. Can only do this one day at a time.
For me.... Still sober. Hit 2 years Nov 18th. I've been out of pocket for a while because SOMEONE decided to become a middle school science teacher well after she turned 40 years old.... What the hell was I thinking? As tuff of a year as it has been, I actually love it and wish I had done it sooner... like back when I was younger and had more energy.
Sobriety is going okay. Still have cravings, still have drinking dreams .... drinking is still just not an option.
Stay strong and keep up the good work guys!
For me.... Still sober. Hit 2 years Nov 18th. I've been out of pocket for a while because SOMEONE decided to become a middle school science teacher well after she turned 40 years old.... What the hell was I thinking? As tuff of a year as it has been, I actually love it and wish I had done it sooner... like back when I was younger and had more energy.
Sobriety is going okay. Still have cravings, still have drinking dreams .... drinking is still just not an option.
Stay strong and keep up the good work guys!
Recognizes the Beast
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: In the kitchen, cooking up a storm
Posts: 704
Way to go Ella! I made a similar choice when I was 33. As hard as it's been, I think work has reinforced my soberiety, cause I know that if I drink I have ZERO chance of being able to do it properly.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
