Class of September 2013 - Part 12
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
I snuck back up on 23 days I didn't realize it till now. I feel a lot better today not worried about the doctor too much I just got to take care of myself like we all do. I hope everybody has a great week
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
1step and Brooksie - right there with ya. In fact I was just having these thoughts yesterday! I try to remind myself daily if my many blessings... Family, home, job, friends etc. I even have hobbies I enjoy... Scrapbooking, reading, outdoors etc. and yet I find myself being bored, unsettled. I ask myself 'is this it?' I jut feel like I'm missing something or I don't know I just feel a void maybe?
It's very hard to explain and I get frustrated with myself. I'm not a fan of self pity and when my kids tell me 'I'm bored' I tell them 'you don't get to be bored. As long as you have thoughts in your head you can go anywhere you want!' Guess I need to take some of my own advice?
Seriously though.... Why do I feel so unsatisfied? If I allowed myself to drink tonight I would get giddy with excitement. My husband has told me he saw the switch in me just anticipating the drink.
So I sobriety is it a different kind if happy? I know drinking did not make me happy past those moments of the first couple drinks. But did all thy drinking ruin any chance of finding true happiness sober?
I will say this. I'm content in sobriety. I have peace of mind and clarity and all of that. But there is this nagging unsettled feeling...
It's very hard to explain and I get frustrated with myself. I'm not a fan of self pity and when my kids tell me 'I'm bored' I tell them 'you don't get to be bored. As long as you have thoughts in your head you can go anywhere you want!' Guess I need to take some of my own advice?
Seriously though.... Why do I feel so unsatisfied? If I allowed myself to drink tonight I would get giddy with excitement. My husband has told me he saw the switch in me just anticipating the drink.
So I sobriety is it a different kind if happy? I know drinking did not make me happy past those moments of the first couple drinks. But did all thy drinking ruin any chance of finding true happiness sober?
I will say this. I'm content in sobriety. I have peace of mind and clarity and all of that. But there is this nagging unsettled feeling...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,129
Morning, Septembers!
I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, 6 days after drinking last time.
It really does take that long to put myself together after what I do to myself when I drink.
I couldn't figure out if I was a binge drinker or a daily drinker. Figured out all my drinking is binge drinking and when you're doing that on a daily basis, it really scrambles your brains.
Don't wanna live like that.
I'm happy to be here.
xoxo, everyone, I hope we all have a great day!
I'm finally starting to feel like myself again, 6 days after drinking last time.
It really does take that long to put myself together after what I do to myself when I drink.
I couldn't figure out if I was a binge drinker or a daily drinker. Figured out all my drinking is binge drinking and when you're doing that on a daily basis, it really scrambles your brains.
Don't wanna live like that.
I'm happy to be here.
xoxo, everyone, I hope we all have a great day!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Morning friends. It was so good to check in and read all of your updates. I am starting my new job today. I need to make some coffee and get in the shower so no time for responses. Just know I am thinking of you all. Xoxo
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
So, Renarde, your health situation, related to this work exposure, does it not put others at risk? Do you need to be concerned for your family and others in your care? Or, are you able to go about your usual life while you wait?
Good luck at your new job today!
Good luck at your new job today!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Okay gang.
I AM LOGGING OFF THE COMPUTER.
I am not allowed back on until I do 5 things. Okay, now I need to make a list of those 5 things.
1. Clean sink and dishes and tidy kitchen.
2. vacuum entire house, except kids' bedrooms that may be too cluttered, lol.
3. clean downstairs bathroom.
4. Mop kitchen floor(this is a lofty goal given the others and my bad back).
5. Get some amount of laundry done in between the other stuff.
Later gators.
I AM LOGGING OFF THE COMPUTER.
I am not allowed back on until I do 5 things. Okay, now I need to make a list of those 5 things.
1. Clean sink and dishes and tidy kitchen.
2. vacuum entire house, except kids' bedrooms that may be too cluttered, lol.
3. clean downstairs bathroom.
4. Mop kitchen floor(this is a lofty goal given the others and my bad back).
5. Get some amount of laundry done in between the other stuff.
Later gators.
I could see peace instead of this
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada, eh
Posts: 2,360
Originally Posted by Kaneda8888 
Hey Renarde
You sound quite positive which is good to hear ! Very heartening.
I am trudging along with this job. I didnt expect to feel up and down but I guess its natural. At least, everyone has told me so. I try very hard to focus on the day and that's all ! My situation is highly confidential so its difficult to face my colleagues and staff. Closed my office for most of the day. Though one of the guys I do chat with said what was wrong with me. I couldnt look him in the face to answer.
*sigh* I hate self pity. Need to shake myself out of it and let it be. One day at a time !
Edit: strangely enough, just writing this post has lifted me
Thanks Renarde !
You sound quite positive which is good to hear ! Very heartening.
I am trudging along with this job. I didnt expect to feel up and down but I guess its natural. At least, everyone has told me so. I try very hard to focus on the day and that's all ! My situation is highly confidential so its difficult to face my colleagues and staff. Closed my office for most of the day. Though one of the guys I do chat with said what was wrong with me. I couldnt look him in the face to answer.
*sigh* I hate self pity. Need to shake myself out of it and let it be. One day at a time !
Edit: strangely enough, just writing this post has lifted me
Thanks Renarde !This was on the page this morning.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4254342
I'm finding those daily post and the images very enjoyable and look forward to them every morning, now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,748
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
I snuck back up on 23 days I didn't realize it till now. I feel a lot better today not worried about the doctor too much I just got to take care of myself like we all do. I hope everybody has a great week
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted by rochele
So, Renarde, your health situation, related to this work exposure, does it not put others at risk? Do you need to be concerned for your family and others in your care? Or, are you able to go about your usual life while you wait?
Good luck at your new job today!
Good luck at your new job today!
I would go into more detail but I don't want to be at risk for violating any hipaa stuff for the patient I took care of. I doubt it would but you never know!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted by rochele
Okay gang.
I AM LOGGING OFF THE COMPUTER.
I am not allowed back on until I do 5 things. Okay, now I need to make a list of those 5 things.
1. Clean sink and dishes and tidy kitchen.
2. vacuum entire house, except kids' bedrooms that may be too cluttered, lol.
3. clean downstairs bathroom.
4. Mop kitchen floor(this is a lofty goal given the others and my bad back).
5. Get some amount of laundry done in between the other stuff.
Later gators.
I AM LOGGING OFF THE COMPUTER.
I am not allowed back on until I do 5 things. Okay, now I need to make a list of those 5 things.
1. Clean sink and dishes and tidy kitchen.
2. vacuum entire house, except kids' bedrooms that may be too cluttered, lol.
3. clean downstairs bathroom.
4. Mop kitchen floor(this is a lofty goal given the others and my bad back).
5. Get some amount of laundry done in between the other stuff.
Later gators.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 579
Originally Posted by FishnHippy
Its hard to to believe the torture that we do too our bodies for the taste of a little bit of booze I am ashamed at the man I have become... I let it go to long.Now my concern is have I passed the point of no return. I guess that means a little more hardwork. Thanks for all of the help.
Please concentrate on the good things you learned yesterday. Diabetes is treatable, and those liver and GI problems are reversible with abstinence. Plus, I guess the doc found nothing in your colon except his watch, and that is great news! That could have been something to deal with that would not have been within your control, so take heart that you didn't have to go down that road.
It sounds like you're feeling better about things today, and for that I'm very glad. (hug)
Renarde, thanks for letting me know those comments about "sentinel events" were helpful to you. And I'm sorry that you are already getting pushback from the school. That's plain wrong. Healthcare: sometimes it's taking care of everybody except the people who deliver it....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 23
Ok....it turns out moderation is a bad strategy at a football game. Lesson learned. So I will try again here again. The sober month of September and first half of October were great. I want to get back to the feeling I had a week ago. Ranting here helps. Thanks for listening.
Day 3 again...
Do I need new friends? New habits? Maybe both?
Day 3 again...
Do I need new friends? New habits? Maybe both?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Charlotte North Carolina
Posts: 1,195
Originally Posted by CardHat
Ok....it turns out moderation is a bad strategy at a football game. Lesson learned. So I will try again here again. The sober month of September and first half of October were great. I want to get back to the feeling I had a week ago. Ranting here helps. Thanks for listening.
Day 3 again...
Do I need new friends? New habits? Maybe both?
Day 3 again...
Do I need new friends? New habits? Maybe both?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: northern ireland
Posts: 649
Soo much has happened Dee good to have you back.
Renarde hope the new job went well
Rochele hope your sons had a better day. Have you finished cleaning yet.
Black get you've got in with some AA members might see you at a meeting. Love that your family cares .Keep your chin up.
Fish I love your boat
Kaneda hope your feeling better.Im in the self pity mode now
Every time I meet the x ( still sleeps here) I try to be nice then I come out with something stupid like do I need to go and see a solicitor (going to visit daughter in Scotland) before I go away in case you change the locks. He just looks at me as if im mad and says why would I do that but you go if it makes you feel happy. Why do I keep coming out with hurtful s*** like this? I need to stop but its out there before I can stop myself. I think I am mad
Renarde hope the new job went well
Rochele hope your sons had a better day. Have you finished cleaning yet.
Black get you've got in with some AA members might see you at a meeting. Love that your family cares .Keep your chin up.
Fish I love your boat
Kaneda hope your feeling better.Im in the self pity mode now
Every time I meet the x ( still sleeps here) I try to be nice then I come out with something stupid like do I need to go and see a solicitor (going to visit daughter in Scotland) before I go away in case you change the locks. He just looks at me as if im mad and says why would I do that but you go if it makes you feel happy. Why do I keep coming out with hurtful s*** like this? I need to stop but its out there before I can stop myself. I think I am mad
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