Br00ksie

Insomnia is the worsst! Thankfully I have an appointment with my shrink on Friday and will get some help! I've decided that I'm definitely working out today, so that should help as well!

Hooped

I kinda slipped up
Been drunk for four days
4 foot speakers staring me in the face
Where the heck did they come from?
And these bookshelf speakers?
Nice, but where the heck did they come from?
Seems I aquired a new
amp to.
Pioneer. Used to be a good brand.
I dunno, just dunno anymore.
Sorry
I wonder if it works?

Hooped

damn it i was doing good too

Hooped

we all have our own personal hell i suppose...oh my god id like to get out of this for once and all

Dee74

Hooped - go back and read some of the posts you made a week or two weeks ago - you were going great...and you can have that again, man.

stop the binge.
Recommit to being the man I know you want to be.

D

Hooped

dee...it's so tiring.
Thursday now right?
Sunday evening decided it was a perfect time to cut loose , for some reason.
Now its Thursday and Ive lost 4 days of my life
Little snippets of info remain
Oh well, I have some nice stereo equipment now.
Bought them from a nice elderly lady, I remember that.

1stepup

Great news Renarde! What a relief that must be.

Well unemployed again now and had to go to job centre today, find it demoralising if im honest, had a good temp job that lasted 12weeks til this month and although I know il be able to 100% commit to sobriety and aa meetings its still feels like going back to square one. Need to keep positive though am aiming to start own business in the spring so going to make sure im sober ready and able to do my best by then.

Black

Br00ksie Thank you for the kind words.

Never attended an aa meeting. My two friends are both sober one for 5 years and one for 20 years. They never pressure me to attend meetings and I don't think I would like to go either. I do hope to turn a corner soon and finally get my act together.

Hooped I am just like you my friend, I get weeks done and then back at it for two days. I am your professional functioning binge boozer. I just feel trapped like a rat at times would love to moderate drinking, but family ultimatums, guilt , sadness causes me depression and of course the self pity.... Why can't I do what I want?????? etc.. Ah sure I wish I hated booze the way others do!

1stepup

Can feel like a vicious circle Hooped, I know how you feel, a lady in the meeting last night just told me everyday sober is that much further away from that last drink, and that it does get easier with time as long as we know 100% that we cant pick up that first drink next time. Sounds simple I know, our minds have a habit of forgetting the bad and remembering the good. But for me at least the bad far outweighed the good in the end.

Kaneda8888

Hooped

Glad you've made it back. Get onto the wagon with the rest of us ! You can provide the music Hang in there

We're all in this together

Black

1stepup, sorry to here that about your temp job. I wish you well with your own business adventure in the spring. staying sober will defiantly be a big advantage to you. stick with it and on to big a better things.

Kaneda8888

Br00ksie, sorry to hear about the insomnia. You have the right approach ! Do such an evil workout that your eyeballs pop ! <Ummm, as long as you're healthy enough to do that.>

Dont stress about the insomnia. I used to get worked up about it. Doesnt help. Just let it be.

Hooped

I feed the birds.
I have a hanging basket out on my deck filled with peanut suet for the woodpeckers.
Had one giant one coming around for a while.
Big bird.
My living room window is tinted so I can get right up close without startling him.
lately..he disappeared
now, it is a symphony of chickadees hammering away at my offerings.
where the heck that big bird went though is up for grabs.
I suspect he has a girlfriend down south.
Interesting life I lead.
Now, if I could just quit drinking and hose off my boat.....

1stepup

Thanks Black, things will work out for us all im sure if we stay together and strong.

Hooped

4 30 in the morning on west coast canada

Hooped

tiring business this is...one smoke left..no beer...staring at that smoke

Hooped

Did it creep up on you? I'm just wondering of the progression
I used to enjoy a drink.
Smoke some pot, then put it all away.
Rum was a different story.
The Rum discovery did me in.
When I passed out int he middle of a busy road in Jamaica I decided to maybe give up the rum.
My friend gathered me up off the road before I got killed
My attention then turned to Vodka.
Throw it in the freezer wow
Something about that ice cold jolt eh?
on and on and on it went
finally gave up hard liquor cuz i was going insane
i would wake up miles from home and check my pockets to make sure I still had my wallet
so, i decided it would be best just to stay inside and drink alone.
much safer.
that was the final nail in the coffin for me.
now im here spilling my guts out to you surrounded by stereo equipment I have no idea where from, wondering If I am alone or just going insane.

Clemence

Hooped you are neither alone nor insane. You have all of us here on SR really wanting you to help you, you've had some success before, you can get back there again. How about getting some face to face help too?

Uninvited

I'm sorry you are struggling hooped. No it didn't really sneak up on me. I started drinking inappropriately at 15. The amount I drank grew though. While I realize that all alcohol shares the same characteristic of being, well alcohol, I am starting to think that the only reason I was even a slightly functional drunk was I never moved to vodka. It's pretty damn hard to find room in your stomach for 12 beers in 4 hours. Again, I'm still a drunk but the horror stories I hear about vodka on this site are just frightening.

FishnHippy

you can still do good buddy. we all slip you helped me through my last Slip. we can help you put the wheels back on your way again and we can Bail out that boat.. your Post are such a big help to me.