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Old 10-23-2013, 05:17 AM
  # 163 (permalink)  
kellbell123
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Iowa
Posts: 464
1step and Brooksie - right there with ya. In fact I was just having these thoughts yesterday! I try to remind myself daily if my many blessings... Family, home, job, friends etc. I even have hobbies I enjoy... Scrapbooking, reading, outdoors etc. and yet I find myself being bored, unsettled. I ask myself 'is this it?' I jut feel like I'm missing something or I don't know I just feel a void maybe?

It's very hard to explain and I get frustrated with myself. I'm not a fan of self pity and when my kids tell me 'I'm bored' I tell them 'you don't get to be bored. As long as you have thoughts in your head you can go anywhere you want!' Guess I need to take some of my own advice?

Seriously though.... Why do I feel so unsatisfied? If I allowed myself to drink tonight I would get giddy with excitement. My husband has told me he saw the switch in me just anticipating the drink.

So I sobriety is it a different kind if happy? I know drinking did not make me happy past those moments of the first couple drinks. But did all thy drinking ruin any chance of finding true happiness sober?

I will say this. I'm content in sobriety. I have peace of mind and clarity and all of that. But there is this nagging unsettled feeling...
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