Class of October 2013 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by Simka 
I'm a little concerned about this weekend though. I fly out of town tomorrow for my company's national meeting, which is held in Florida through the weekend. There will be a lot of drinking, so my plan is to retire early to my room each night...if I can.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
What does that mean that relapse happens weeks before the first drink? Is it just cockiness? I am now feeling how you are feeling, Driver, that I am going strong. I am confident that I am going to give up drinking like I gave up Diet Cokes, scary movies, red meat, and never look back. However, I do have a big fear of relapse. I am grateful to have come to the conclusion to give up alcohol before I suffered any big losses due to drinking, but sometimes I think coming to this conclusion "early" makes the AV voice louder about moderation being possible.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,434
I got cocky big-time thinking I could moderate since I had done so well quitting. I think you're right DoubleDragons about the AV voice being louder because I dodged most major bullets. If I had only found this site two months ago I would never have done it after reading what happens nearly all of the time when alcoholics try to moderate.
That said, I'm trying to make lemonade from my lemons and learn the lesson. I tried it, it didn't work, I stopped pretty quickly and realize that I just can never drink alcohol again. That's the first time I have had the the courage to write that sentence and even to really let my mind think it. Always had to have the "maybe" or some sort of qualifier. But that isn't how it works for me. *Sigh.
[*a peaceful, accepting, and not unhappy sigh instead of a resentful and regretful sigh]
That said, I'm trying to make lemonade from my lemons and learn the lesson. I tried it, it didn't work, I stopped pretty quickly and realize that I just can never drink alcohol again. That's the first time I have had the the courage to write that sentence and even to really let my mind think it. Always had to have the "maybe" or some sort of qualifier. But that isn't how it works for me. *Sigh.
[*a peaceful, accepting, and not unhappy sigh instead of a resentful and regretful sigh]
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by Uninvited
Hi all. I'm from the September class but couldn't help piping in on this. I had 100 days sober last year and then relapsed. I discovered that I have a HUGE trigger with rewarding myself. I managed to survive a very stressful week and just decided I deserved the reward of drinking again. My AV didn't try to trick me into just having one. It said I deserved 15 for that very difficult time I just survived. I'm trying to watch the whole reward trigger this time around.
How long was the relapse, how long did it take til you came to the realization that sobriety was the only route?
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 1,052
Originally Posted by Driver1
Thanks Univited (and thanks for checking in from September group, you folks are great).
How long was the relapse, how long did it take til you came to the realization that sobriety was the only route?
How long was the relapse, how long did it take til you came to the realization that sobriety was the only route?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
What does that mean that relapse happens weeks before the first drink? Is it just cockiness? I am now feeling how you are feeling, Driver, that I am going strong. I am confident that I am going to give up drinking like I gave up Diet Cokes, scary movies, red meat, and never look back. However, I do have a big fear of relapse. I am grateful to have come to the conclusion to give up alcohol before I suffered any big losses due to drinking, but sometimes I think coming to this conclusion "early" makes the AV voice louder about moderation being possible.
I try to run the movie reel out like Myth suggests and I know it doesn't end well. And I know I don't drink like a "normal " person so I must stay away. But I know my demon is a psychologist too. I am fearful of the day he tries to convince me that I can give moderation a try. One day at atime. One day at a time.
P.S., Wow Dragons, you've turned a lot of pages, but scary movies? I couldn't live without that! Walking Dead...Sunday...can't wait!!!! And so glad I will be watching sober instead of having to replay 3, 4, 5 times so that I can actually remember what happened from episode to episode. Stewpid Driver.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by Hawkeye13
I got cocky big-time thinking I could moderate since I had done so well quitting. I think you're right DoubleDragons about the AV voice being louder because I dodged most major bullets. If I had only found this site two months ago I would never have done it after reading what happens nearly all of the time when alcoholics try to moderate.
That said, I'm trying to make lemonade from my lemons and learn the lesson. I tried it, it didn't work, I stopped pretty quickly and realize that I just can never drink alcohol again. That's the first time I have had the the courage to write that sentence and even to really let my mind think it. Always had to have the "maybe" or some sort of qualifier. But that isn't how it works for me. *Sigh.
[*a peaceful, accepting, and not unhappy sigh instead of a resentful and regretful sigh]
That said, I'm trying to make lemonade from my lemons and learn the lesson. I tried it, it didn't work, I stopped pretty quickly and realize that I just can never drink alcohol again. That's the first time I have had the the courage to write that sentence and even to really let my mind think it. Always had to have the "maybe" or some sort of qualifier. But that isn't how it works for me. *Sigh.
[*a peaceful, accepting, and not unhappy sigh instead of a resentful and regretful sigh]
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 642
I just realized something and it's probably not worth a whole thread, so I'll just leave it here.
Whenever someone relapses on this forum (myself included), they never come back the next day saying, "Yay! I relapsed! Drinking is awesome!" Rather, they are usually upset with themselves, sad, embarrassed, any number of bad feelings. Gotta think that drink through.
I certainly did tonight. And I had some monster cravings. Sober still though
Whenever someone relapses on this forum (myself included), they never come back the next day saying, "Yay! I relapsed! Drinking is awesome!" Rather, they are usually upset with themselves, sad, embarrassed, any number of bad feelings. Gotta think that drink through.
I certainly did tonight. And I had some monster cravings. Sober still though
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Spring TX
Posts: 6
Hello all!
I'm surprisingly on a lot later than usual. Yesterday evening was rough. I went to class after work and took my test which I think I did good on! Once I finished I got to my car and this jerk parked his/her car soooo close to mine I couldnt even walk between their passanger side and my drives side. I had to get in on the passangers side just to leave. I was so upset and then called my fiance and for some reason freaked on him. I honestly felt like I was losing it. I was hysterically crying and kept thinking if I just go have a beer I will chill out and get over such a MINOR issue. Ofcourse the fiance tried to talk me down and I took it as him chastising me for wanting a drink. I kept telling him how he didnt understand how I was feeling. Looking back I know he handled it great and talked me down from all the crying. I took a shower and started dinner when I got home. By the time my man got home at night I was completely fine (he ofcourse called me a couple times to make sure I was feeling better.)
Today my day was great though!! I have been in a very good mood all day and more like myself. I went shopping after work and even being on the same side of town as my favorite place to drink I didnt cave! Tomorrow is Friday and I'm more anxious than ever. Already have a list of to dos after work to keep me busy!
Fishy- Geez I havent been fishing in forever! Something to add to the list of things to keep me busy. Glad to here your day was good.
driver- Yesterday was salsa chicken with spanish rice and beans. The fiance said it was the best meal of the week so far!! I was very happy with myself Tonight is meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Besides my little crying episode yesterday on the way home from school I have been good. Soo much better today!!
Joeinhouston- I'm happy to hear all the good things that are coming from giving up drinking. Congrats on a week & the extra $$$ whoop whoop!
zombiebbq- Sorry you had to meet your lawyer today that sounds like no fun
Great news on the traffic violation thingy tho!! I'm sure my fiance feels the same way about conversations not being as productive and civil with a drunk person (meaning me lol) I'm usually drinking along with anyone around me so I don't usually have to deal with that. I better get used to it!
uninvited- I drink to reward myself completely! Well used to. I could find absolutely anything to reward myself about from "its Friday I made it through the week" to "oh I just took a test and deserve a drink after all that studying." Now I'm trying to find different ways to enjoy myself. Not to mention the fiance says the new kindle is a way better reward than drinking and I couldnt agree more!! (Hopefully one is in my near future lol)
<Day 4>
I'm surprisingly on a lot later than usual. Yesterday evening was rough. I went to class after work and took my test which I think I did good on! Once I finished I got to my car and this jerk parked his/her car soooo close to mine I couldnt even walk between their passanger side and my drives side. I had to get in on the passangers side just to leave. I was so upset and then called my fiance and for some reason freaked on him. I honestly felt like I was losing it. I was hysterically crying and kept thinking if I just go have a beer I will chill out and get over such a MINOR issue. Ofcourse the fiance tried to talk me down and I took it as him chastising me for wanting a drink. I kept telling him how he didnt understand how I was feeling. Looking back I know he handled it great and talked me down from all the crying. I took a shower and started dinner when I got home. By the time my man got home at night I was completely fine (he ofcourse called me a couple times to make sure I was feeling better.)
Today my day was great though!! I have been in a very good mood all day and more like myself. I went shopping after work and even being on the same side of town as my favorite place to drink I didnt cave! Tomorrow is Friday and I'm more anxious than ever. Already have a list of to dos after work to keep me busy!
Fishy- Geez I havent been fishing in forever! Something to add to the list of things to keep me busy. Glad to here your day was good.
driver- Yesterday was salsa chicken with spanish rice and beans. The fiance said it was the best meal of the week so far!! I was very happy with myself
Tonight is meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Besides my little crying episode yesterday on the way home from school I have been good. Soo much better today!!Joeinhouston- I'm happy to hear all the good things that are coming from giving up drinking. Congrats on a week & the extra $$$ whoop whoop!
zombiebbq- Sorry you had to meet your lawyer today that sounds like no fun
Great news on the traffic violation thingy tho!! I'm sure my fiance feels the same way about conversations not being as productive and civil with a drunk person (meaning me lol) I'm usually drinking along with anyone around me so I don't usually have to deal with that. I better get used to it!uninvited- I drink to reward myself completely! Well used to. I could find absolutely anything to reward myself about from "its Friday I made it through the week" to "oh I just took a test and deserve a drink after all that studying." Now I'm trying to find different ways to enjoy myself. Not to mention the fiance says the new kindle is a way better reward than drinking and I couldnt agree more!! (Hopefully one is in my near future lol)
<Day 4>
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 678
Day 9:-) Survived work outing and dinner yesterday despite taking some pretty good flack for not imbibing. Normally could have been an easy 7-10 drinks under the circumstances but managed to happily keep it to an even 0. I remember the first time I had a night like this back in July during my 3rd attempt at staying sober and it was so difficult that I ended up caving the very next day. Last night, similar circumstances but it was easier to say no thanks. My point is, it gets easier with practice: the more practical experience saying no, the less difficult it becomes. Eventually, people will just stop bothering I presume but this first year of being 'dry' is sure to be full of opportunity and warrant staying on guard!!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi guys, I should probably be in this group. I think another of my old group might join in. It's so true about the moderation. Impossible. It's easy to get cocky that's for sure, especially when you're like us. When you relapse you don't come back proud of it for sure as said above. Usually you feel like a failure, a loser, and totally hung over. I do.
I've had a heck of a time just giving it up for a long while now. I've cut back immensely by 90%, but thats not quite enough.
I've had a heck of a time just giving it up for a long while now. I've cut back immensely by 90%, but thats not quite enough.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 206
Hello everyone,
Just checking in, still sober. Been super busy, and I'm in the middle of a crazy work week and a crazy school week but still wanted to pop in. It hasn't been easy to not drink this week, because of major drama going on at work that's completely lame and irrelevant and silly. Now that I'm sober I realize how sensitive I can be to bad vibes. It makes me super anxious and makes me want to drink.
Tonight I went to a dinner with a bunch of people from my program at school and it was really fun and the food was delicious, and I DIDN'T DRINK THE WINE. That was a huge thing for me.
I hope everyone's doing well. I have to go to bed pretty much right this second, if I'm gonna make it through an epic schedule tomorrow. But I hope to catch up on everyone's posts soon
Just checking in, still sober. Been super busy, and I'm in the middle of a crazy work week and a crazy school week but still wanted to pop in. It hasn't been easy to not drink this week, because of major drama going on at work that's completely lame and irrelevant and silly. Now that I'm sober I realize how sensitive I can be to bad vibes. It makes me super anxious and makes me want to drink.
Tonight I went to a dinner with a bunch of people from my program at school and it was really fun and the food was delicious, and I DIDN'T DRINK THE WINE. That was a huge thing for me.
I hope everyone's doing well. I have to go to bed pretty much right this second, if I'm gonna make it through an epic schedule tomorrow. But I hope to catch up on everyone's posts soon
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 172
I am really drunk right now. It's good I logged on here and further proof that drinking will never be the same. But I've been doing this for years. I don't get it. If I stop drinking, I'll smoke more weed. If I stop weed and drinking, I'll smoke more cigarettes and take xanax. It's all legal where I'm from and yet it shouldn't be for me. Anyway, I'm really going through a lot, more than I have before, and I guess this is my drunken cry for help. Except I do this all the time. But really, if I could just stop it...I would. And I know I can, but I haven't figured out how. Yes, self pity, blah blah blah. I'm sick of beating myself up. Anyway, sleep time. Goodnight and sincerely hope that you're more sober than me and that I'll be as sober as you by the weekend. Cheers.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Originally Posted by Imabuleva
I just realized something and it's probably not worth a whole thread, so I'll just leave it here.
Whenever someone relapses on this forum (myself included), they never come back the next day saying, "Yay! I relapsed! Drinking is awesome!" Rather, they are usually upset with themselves, sad, embarrassed, any number of bad feelings. Gotta think that drink through.
I certainly did tonight. And I had some monster cravings. Sober still though
Whenever someone relapses on this forum (myself included), they never come back the next day saying, "Yay! I relapsed! Drinking is awesome!" Rather, they are usually upset with themselves, sad, embarrassed, any number of bad feelings. Gotta think that drink through.
I certainly did tonight. And I had some monster cravings. Sober still though
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: South East US
Posts: 426
Originally Posted by Imabuleva
I just realized something and it's probably not worth a whole thread, so I'll just leave it here.
Whenever someone relapses on this forum (myself included), they never come back the next day saying, "Yay! I relapsed! Drinking is awesome!" Rather, they are usually upset with themselves, sad, embarrassed, any number of bad feelings. Gotta think that drink through.
I certainly did tonight. And I had some monster cravings. Sober still though
Whenever someone relapses on this forum (myself included), they never come back the next day saying, "Yay! I relapsed! Drinking is awesome!" Rather, they are usually upset with themselves, sad, embarrassed, any number of bad feelings. Gotta think that drink through.
I certainly did tonight. And I had some monster cravings. Sober still though
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
Welcome, Snipe.
You know what has been bothering me lately? We all come on this forum like pathetic, sad-sacks, like we have some major deformity because we can't drink alcohol "normally". Well, here's the truth: whether you drink one or you drink fifty, alcoholic drinks are bad for you, just like smoking is bad for you, fatty fast food is bad for you, etc. etc. So, "normal" drinkers are on a pedestal here, for what??? Being able to imbibe a terribly poisonous drink full of empty promises and empty calories that our bodies convert to ethanol??? Shouldn't we more jealous of the smart teetotalers who from the get-go say, "I am not putting that crud into my body!" I think all drinkers are all in the same damn creek, it's just that some of us due to personality quirks that make us a little more extreme than others, are headed faster to the waterfall of destruction that others. You play with this crap long enough (poisonous alcohol), you will be close to the waterfall, too. It is just a matter of time. I like being on the shore, basking in the sunlight!!
You know what has been bothering me lately? We all come on this forum like pathetic, sad-sacks, like we have some major deformity because we can't drink alcohol "normally". Well, here's the truth: whether you drink one or you drink fifty, alcoholic drinks are bad for you, just like smoking is bad for you, fatty fast food is bad for you, etc. etc. So, "normal" drinkers are on a pedestal here, for what??? Being able to imbibe a terribly poisonous drink full of empty promises and empty calories that our bodies convert to ethanol??? Shouldn't we more jealous of the smart teetotalers who from the get-go say, "I am not putting that crud into my body!" I think all drinkers are all in the same damn creek, it's just that some of us due to personality quirks that make us a little more extreme than others, are headed faster to the waterfall of destruction that others. You play with this crap long enough (poisonous alcohol), you will be close to the waterfall, too. It is just a matter of time. I like being on the shore, basking in the sunlight!!
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