Class of September 2013 part 4
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 134
Hi All,
I've come back after being away from SR for probably two months. I've been trying to control this demon. I'm struggling quite a bit. I keep saying "today is the day". The last two weeks I've managed to stay sober for 3 days, but then just found an excuse to drink. I've got to start today. Last year starting on Oct 2nd, I went sober until Dec 24th (shocker!). Made it a month in May too....but, I can't seem to get that rhythm back. So, here I am...needing help!
I went back a few days and read everyone's posts. This is a nice group for me to get started with sobriety again. Thanks for the posts to read. And I hope everyone is doing well with relationships, work and life in general.
Best regards, TBML
I've come back after being away from SR for probably two months. I've been trying to control this demon. I'm struggling quite a bit. I keep saying "today is the day". The last two weeks I've managed to stay sober for 3 days, but then just found an excuse to drink. I've got to start today. Last year starting on Oct 2nd, I went sober until Dec 24th (shocker!). Made it a month in May too....but, I can't seem to get that rhythm back. So, here I am...needing help!
I went back a few days and read everyone's posts. This is a nice group for me to get started with sobriety again. Thanks for the posts to read. And I hope everyone is doing well with relationships, work and life in general.
Best regards, TBML
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 126
Hey TBML,
Welcome to the crew. I think October is going to be a very difficult month for me. Let's stick together and do this. I'm on day 18, but I know I haven't conquered this beast. Fall and it's chilly weather are instant cues for me to pick up a drink or ten. Glad you are here.
Welcome to the crew. I think October is going to be a very difficult month for me. Let's stick together and do this. I'm on day 18, but I know I haven't conquered this beast. Fall and it's chilly weather are instant cues for me to pick up a drink or ten. Glad you are here.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Yoctopus, if you were violent in your last fight, I don't think 18 days is a long time. That's not even 3 weeks. I don't say this to scold - just because you asked for perspective. I know you are full of regret and sadness over what transpired. If it were me, it would take me months to process that kind of an incident. I am so glad you are dealing with all of this head-on in therapy. That takes a lot of courage.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted by Melina 
He was violent with me during a drunken argument a few months back. I wasn't drunk, he was. He was mad at me but he drank a whole bottle of whiskey instead of talking to me about it. He kicked me in the back when he caught me taking pictures of the guest room/my office area that he had completely destroyed because he was mad at me. Cops came.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 134
Originally Posted by Yoctopus
Hey TBML,
Welcome to the crew. I think October is going to be a very difficult month for me. Let's stick together and do this. I'm on day 18, but I know I haven't conquered this beast. Fall and it's chilly weather are instant cues for me to pick up a drink or ten. Glad you are here.
Welcome to the crew. I think October is going to be a very difficult month for me. Let's stick together and do this. I'm on day 18, but I know I haven't conquered this beast. Fall and it's chilly weather are instant cues for me to pick up a drink or ten. Glad you are here.
If I can get through Oct, Nov and nearly all of December like I did last year....you certainly can this year. Heck, we'll just do it together with the rest of the September clan!
B.r. TBML
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Welcome new friends!
I'm not going anywhere either! I'm planning on October being just as sober as September. Stick together is right.
Lorelei, how are you dear? I usually take a nap after any medical procedures like that. What did you do to take care of yourself?
Rochele, how are you feeling? My little one does nap thank goodness, but somedays the nap gets refused/dropped. Those are days when Mommy Renarde is sad, haha.
AFM - well I went to bed at 12:30 and got up at 5:30. Had an engagement at 8 and I did not do as well as I wanted. Frustrated about that, but what can you do. I gave it my best. Now I will be working until I get my haircut. They serve wine at my salon. I always had wine while I got my haircut. Had sort of a moment of surprise where I realized that I wouldn't be doing that today. I also was invited to a happy hour and immediately felt a bit perplexed. Duh. Just order some good food. I am so into indulging in food at the moment. I always saved all of my calories for alcohol. Food is really good. I love eating out. I think I am secure/confident enough to be able to go to this. Plus it will be at like 1 pm. However I may have too much work, so I may not go at all.
I continue to feel great with sobriety. The baby is getting a little bit better and now my husband is sick. I hope that my solid sleep, vitamins, and new peace of mind will continue to keep me well. It's a miracle I haven't gotten it already.
Love to everyone.
Originally Posted by Yoctopus
Hey TBML,
Welcome to the crew. I think October is going to be a very difficult month for me. Let's stick together and do this. I'm on day 18, but I know I haven't conquered this beast. Fall and it's chilly weather are instant cues for me to pick up a drink or ten. Glad you are here.
Welcome to the crew. I think October is going to be a very difficult month for me. Let's stick together and do this. I'm on day 18, but I know I haven't conquered this beast. Fall and it's chilly weather are instant cues for me to pick up a drink or ten. Glad you are here.
Lorelei, how are you dear? I usually take a nap after any medical procedures like that. What did you do to take care of yourself?
Rochele, how are you feeling? My little one does nap thank goodness, but somedays the nap gets refused/dropped. Those are days when Mommy Renarde is sad, haha.
AFM - well I went to bed at 12:30 and got up at 5:30. Had an engagement at 8 and I did not do as well as I wanted. Frustrated about that, but what can you do. I gave it my best. Now I will be working until I get my haircut. They serve wine at my salon. I always had wine while I got my haircut. Had sort of a moment of surprise where I realized that I wouldn't be doing that today. I also was invited to a happy hour and immediately felt a bit perplexed. Duh. Just order some good food. I am so into indulging in food at the moment. I always saved all of my calories for alcohol. Food is really good. I love eating out. I think I am secure/confident enough to be able to go to this. Plus it will be at like 1 pm. However I may have too much work, so I may not go at all.
I continue to feel great with sobriety. The baby is getting a little bit better and now my husband is sick. I hope that my solid sleep, vitamins, and new peace of mind will continue to keep me well. It's a miracle I haven't gotten it already.
Love to everyone.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 126
Renarde, I appreciate the perspective. It is helpful to know how others would react. I look at the world through my own (mis)perceptions. I know that when I am hurt, I want things to be made better ASAP. The concept of space and time to heal eludes me. In fact, I have told my fiancé that I like it when she reminds me she is still upset and hurt. Otherwise I assume things are getting better than they really are. I will give it time. I am committed at this point to bettering myself through therapy and activities related to self improvement. I just struggle greatly with the attachment to a specific outcome: having a healthy relationship with my fiancé. I am hoping that in the near future I can learn better coping mechanisms and realize that regardless of the situation with F, I am unable to control what she decides. I will live on and be a better person regardless. So much easier said than done. Staying away from alcohol is helpful and also, as we all know, an added stress.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
takingbackmylife, that is what you are doing. I certainly lost mine to the AV. It takes time. (i am saying this to ME - and you). I cannot believe what I lost to alcohol; but there it is and no going back. We can only do better with our next action.
xoxo for us both, Pamel
xoxo for us both, Pamel
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,303
Originally Posted by Yoctopus
Renarde, I appreciate the perspective. It is helpful to know how others would react. I look at the world through my own (mis)perceptions. I know that when I am hurt, I want things to be made better ASAP. The concept of space and time to heal eludes me. In fact, I have told my fiancé that I like it when she reminds me she is still upset and hurt. Otherwise I assume things are getting better than they really are. I will give it time. I am committed at this point to bettering myself through therapy and activities related to self improvement. I just struggle greatly with the attachment to a specific outcome: having a healthy relationship with my fiancé. I am hoping that in the near future I can learn better coping mechanisms and realize that regardless of the situation with F, I am unable to control what she decides. I will live on and be a better person regardless. So much easier said than done. Staying away from alcohol is helpful and also, as we all know, an added stress.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 134
Originally Posted by Pamel
takingbackmylife, that is what you are doing. I certainly lost mine to the AV. It takes time. (i am saying this to ME - and you). I cannot believe what I lost to alcohol; but there it is and no going back. We can only do better with our next action.
xoxo for us both, Pamel
xoxo for us both, Pamel
So, I read where EternalQ wrote......"do not open that door what so ever" in so many words...I read it the other day on a posting.
My AV is evil and mean...Ha!... It's not a funny subject but I have to laugh at myself sometimes....or I'd lose my mind for sure.
B.r. TBML
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 191
Well today is my birthday and the best gift i can think of to give my self is sobriety!!
I quit 1/1/12 and lasted 8 months and i have gone right back to my old ways and I hate it. Problem is no one around me (husband included) thinks I have a problem. But it's taking way to much energy to keep this up and today I give myself the best gift ever!! Happy Birthday to me
I quit 1/1/12 and lasted 8 months and i have gone right back to my old ways and I hate it. Problem is no one around me (husband included) thinks I have a problem. But it's taking way to much energy to keep this up and today I give myself the best gift ever!! Happy Birthday to me
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 126
Originally Posted by Renarde
Big hugs. You are doing the best you can in a really stressful situation. Want you to know that I said all of that with love. (((Yocto)))
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 134
Originally Posted by Yoctopus
TBML - I'm impressed you were able to go through the holiday months last year without taking a drink. You are a very strong person. Let's do this!
In fact, that day sticks in my head Oct 2nd...So, that is what is prompting to seriously start with sobriety again.
It was best 84 days I've ever had, but I lost that on Dec 24th. My AV talked me into.....I don't know why I did it, but regretfully so, I did. And I've been all over the place (drinking-wise) since....that's how crazy this disease is.
We were in Disney for Thanksgiving, so, I think that helped. I remember my father-in-law and brother-in-law have a beer at an outside bar....my mouth was watering, but I talked my AV out of it.
I'm all in!!.....I like the enthusiasm here. That's what we need.
B.r. TBML
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
Hey y'all,
How is everyone,
I've been busy eating lol, and drinking sparkly water, slapping the EAF, phew!
I'll be glad when day 18 is over!
Welcome to our new septemberites x
#iamafinisher,
Thank you again for the kind words friends xx
How is everyone,
I've been busy eating lol, and drinking sparkly water, slapping the EAF, phew!
I'll be glad when day 18 is over!
Welcome to our new septemberites x
#iamafinisher,
Thank you again for the kind words friends xx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Welcome TBML! No time like right now to get sober!
Lifeanew, welcome and happy birthday!!
Thanks for asking Renarde. I have a head cold right now. I hope it passes quickly, both for my weekend visitor and because I remembered I have gum surgery a week from today. If I am coughing or with post nasal drip, not sure I can be still in the chair for the procedure. Hoping this does not turn into a cough, as I can drag of forever with that. I am babying myself and taking vit. C several times a day!
I am supposed to go to a thing tonight at dd's school. Hope I feel up to it. Right now I feel a bit achy. It is not really much, but she wants me to go. We get to see all her teachers, put a face to the name, but with a whole class full of parents, not one on one. There will be conferences in a month or two. We will see how I feel. had to bring her for a haircut, and my son has a dental appointment later. Just a lot of running around.
No thoughts at all of wanting to drink the past couple of days.
Lifeanew, welcome and happy birthday!!
Thanks for asking Renarde. I have a head cold right now. I hope it passes quickly, both for my weekend visitor and because I remembered I have gum surgery a week from today. If I am coughing or with post nasal drip, not sure I can be still in the chair for the procedure. Hoping this does not turn into a cough, as I can drag of forever with that. I am babying myself and taking vit. C several times a day!
I am supposed to go to a thing tonight at dd's school. Hope I feel up to it. Right now I feel a bit achy. It is not really much, but she wants me to go. We get to see all her teachers, put a face to the name, but with a whole class full of parents, not one on one. There will be conferences in a month or two. We will see how I feel. had to bring her for a haircut, and my son has a dental appointment later. Just a lot of running around.
No thoughts at all of wanting to drink the past couple of days.
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