Renarde, I appreciate the perspective. It is helpful to know how others would react. I look at the world through my own (mis)perceptions. I know that when I am hurt, I want things to be made better ASAP. The concept of space and time to heal eludes me. In fact, I have told my fiancé that I like it when she reminds me she is still upset and hurt. Otherwise I assume things are getting better than they really are. I will give it time. I am committed at this point to bettering myself through therapy and activities related to self improvement. I just struggle greatly with the attachment to a specific outcome: having a healthy relationship with my fiancé. I am hoping that in the near future I can learn better coping mechanisms and realize that regardless of the situation with F, I am unable to control what she decides. I will live on and be a better person regardless. So much easier said than done. Staying away from alcohol is helpful and also, as we all know, an added stress.