kellyg

Lady/inperfect - I hear you both on the cravings and the crazy AV talk this weekend but we all got throught it

Life - You sound like you have a keeper for a husband. Good for you. And your son sounds super sweet too.

Dolly/sadsoul/Clarity/JustSarah/Joygirl/and all - Glad we all made it through the weekend. See, we CAN do it!

Have a great and wonderful week!

kellyg

So my sister is visiting with her kids and boyfriend this week and so far we've had a really good time.

Background - my sister had a very bad pill problem for several years during which time she also abused drinking and pills together. She met her b/f in rehab about 9 months ago - he was there for alcoholism. They've been together ever since and both seem to be doing fine. My sister still drinks however as she says her problem wasn't with alcohol but pills. And I will say I haven't seen her drunk or anything on this trip. She has also told me that her b/f had recently had a couple drinks when they have gone out. I asked her if she was ok with that and she said yes b/c he didn't get drunk and he really thinks his problem with alcohol was due to who he was hanging out with and where he was at the point in his life. Now he's with her, he seems to think he can drink normally. I really don't get this though. He and I talked over the weekend exchanging "drunk" stories and he tells me he had withdrawal issues which to me means he drank quite a bit. I never had withdrawal because I was only a binge drinker - not an everyday drinker.

However, this weekend we had my brother and his g/f over to grill out on Saturday and he, my sister, and her b/f asked me if it was ok for them to go get some beer (they know I have stopped drinking). I didn't want to appear like the "party pooper" and said it would be fine. And it was fine - no one got drunk and I really wasn't tempted at all and I still had a great time. But I was thinking they would get two 6 packs and instead they got a case and a six pack. Now, they didn't drink much of it on Saturday and her b/f only had one. But then yesterday my sister got a bottle of wine and a 4 pack. They haven't touched the stuff yet but I was looking in my fridge yesterday and the thought went through my head "I could so easily drink one of these beers right now and no one would know". I didn't drink though. But I feel like they should get rid of it. Am I wrong? And I think it odd that my sister says she hardly ever drinks but in two days she's bought a bottle of wine, a 4 pk, a 6 pk, and a 12 pk...albeit they've barely been touched.

Am I over-reacting? Or should I be concerned?

Thanks ladies for listening

Dollyangel17

I don't think you are overreacting Kelly. Their sobriety (or lack thereof is their business), but it's your house, and if you feel uncomfortable with all that alcohol in your house, then you are perfectly justified in asking them to get rid of it.

Maybe nicely let them know that although you were okay with them drinking at the cookout, you were not expecting the fridge to be stocked for the week.

Put your sobriety first, that's what is most important.

Lifebeginsat41

Hi Kelly - I second everything Dolly says. There's being polite and then there is being put into a situation that can potentially affect your sobriety. I'd follow Dolly's advice to the letter.

Ladybug2

I have to agree with Dolly & Lifebeginsat41, kellyg. I would tell them how you feel. I could not have a fridge stocked with beer and wine. Relapse just waiting to happen. For example, if there had been alcohol in my house yesterday I would probably be on Day 1 today. Just not strong enough yet. I am like you, OK with hubby or other family/friends having a drink around me, but I couldn't open the fridge everyday and see it just sitting there. AV would have a field day! Good luck and stay strong

juststopit

yup, totally agree with everyone else. If for whatever reason you do not ask them to get rid of what is there do make sure that before they leave all of it is removed. The last thing you want is to be at home in the middle of the post-house-guest blues with beer in the fridge.

juststopit

oh, and maybe an easy way to address it is just to say you didn't think it would be a problem when you said yes but now that it is in the house you are finding it more difficult than expected. That way you don't make have to confront them about the unexpected amount.

Lifebeginsat41

Is anyone else completely exhausted? I am on day 11 today (yay!) but I am sooooo tired!! Can hardly keep my eyes open. Is this a usual part of recovery, does anyone know?

kellyg

Thanks Justtopit, Lifebegin, dolly, and Ladybug...appreciate your advice. I think I will take the out you've given me Juststopit.

Day 8 for me...and I too feel very tired Life...I think it's just lousy sleeping though.

Lifebeginsat41

Glad you're going to talk to them Kellg - be calm and nice but firm. And I'm sleeping like a log - must have got 7 hours last night! Ho hum, will have an early night tonight - at this rate I'll be going to bed before I've got up :-)

sadsoul2011

I think YES I'm on day 21 today and from about day 10-20 I was so tired I could hardly move at times. All of a sudden today I have a little more energy (so far anyway ) - could change.....

Hang in there!! I'm glad I did

Lifebeginsat41

Thank you SadSoul - fingers crossed I get more energy over the next few days!

Ladybug2

Oh yes, I went through the same thing around this time. Exhausted and no energy/motivation. Don't worry, it gets better Great job on 11 days!

joygirl

Good day, Moms! I haven't been on since Sunday morning, so I'm trying to catch up. A lot going on! Hope everyone had a good weekend, it sounds like it! Mine was good too!

Kelly, hmmmmm. I agree with everyone else about getting the booze out of the house. And I want you to know that I also had an addiction to RX meds, like your sis. If you want to discuss that situation, just pm me.

Can someone pm me about our lost friend situation, please? I missed it and am worried. Thanks!

joygirl

Welcome new moms/mums! Let's get to know each other, this thread is great and fun!

catgonewild1

Hello to everyone and glad so many of you had good Father's day weekends.

Kelly I also agree with others that having that much alcohol in your fridge is no good in early sobriety. I couldn't have handled it. In fact, even though my mother in law is an alcoholic and everyone knows it, when she would come to visit in my early sobriety my father in law would make her keep the beer out in the garage so I wouldn't have to see it. They were that supportive (of course FIL always wished that his wife would have at least tried the way I did.)

I spent all day Saturday shopping for my daughter's gymnastics camp, most of yesterday doing laundry and helping her pack, then a few hours taking her there. Luckily she is at a women's university and she is bunking with one of her best friends. The coaches seemed very nice and I'm just waiting with bated breath to hear tonight how first day went. She has a tendency to be too hard on herself, so if the first day was tough because of critical coaches I know we'll have to talk her into staying until Thursday. But we will.

I know I said last week that after my relapse last weekend, I was looking at these three days this week without my daughter as a little "relapse vacation" and was strongly considering it until I found this forum last week and knew that the worst thing I could do was to have a three day binge and then have my tired daughter come home.

So instead I've been exercisizing, doing lots of housework, catching up on things, will get to a meeting tomorrow, I'll make appointments and shop for things I need (usually we only really shop for my daughter.) I know how much my husband appreciates that he will come home and find a nice, clean house and a calm sober wife this week and I know how much I'll be missing her by Thursday.

Ya'll are amazing! Being here really is like being in a meeting you can truly "drop into" anytime. Feel comfortable, hear things you need to hear, get a laugh maybe, feel warm and accepted. Without driving anywhere or dealing with the stuff that real meetings emcompass (although I am doing them too.) But I really love the true anonymity of the internet, always looking around at my meeting place to see if people I know will see me walking in, etc.

catgonewild1

Just wanted to add that depending on how long you drank, your PAWS (post-alcohol withdrawal syndrome) can go on up to 6 months ... for real. Not trying to be a downer here. I'm a big advocate of supplements and exercise, but I know when you're too tired to move the second part is pretty hard. Stay strong everyone!!

catgonewild1

Ladybug, mother/father/sibling issues have always been one of my biggest bugaboos in recovery. In fact, I only have one sister, but due to her own mental issues, she has refused to speak to me, see me, or see my kids since 1996. Which means she has never even MET my 13 year old daughter. And many of those years was living only an hour and a half away. I drank over my sister's cruel, stupid actions for so long. Finally I decided to no longer let her rent space in my head. I evicted her. But lots of times, especially holidays, she comes back for an unwanted visit. The worst part is that my poor elderly parents have had to deal with this for 17 years, nothing really caused it except one argument and my sister's mental illness, and my parents have to always see us separately and can't fix it.

But I'm so glad you got over those feelings.

joygirl

Cat, I know that feeling after sending your child to camp. Waiting to see if they call to come home! Mine never did, though, thank goodness!
I'm sending my 16 year old son on an 8 state tour, this Sunday. He'll be gone all summer! I am going to miss him so much! I will get to see his concert in mid-July but won't get to visit with him much then. He wants me to take him to get his driver's permit before he goes, along with all the other preparations! I don't know why, he won't be driving! I think its because most of the others are older and have licenses. I'll do it. I'm such a pushover!

Ladybug2

Good evening moms,

Hope everyone had a good day? Feeling sick right now from eating too much ice cream cake (leftover from Fathers Day). Wonder if this sweet tooth will ever go away? I eat something bad, but yummy, everyday/night. I am also hooked on those Golden Oreos. Can't be as many calories as 2 bottles of wine though?

Daughter is wired tonight because she had a little nap earlier in the car, so I may be up for awhile. I hate staying up late now that I'm no longer drinking. Used to be such a night owl. Funny how alcohol used to energize me, most of the time, in the evenings vs making me tired. But then I would just pass out and wake up at 3am feeling like crap and unable to sleep. Just rambling now, so good night all