jambry123

I know how you feel, it's day 4 for me as well and I've done 4 days before, it's never easy at all but I know I've done more before. I'm kinda nervous about hitting a week or more because that is rare for me!!!

Just wanna fast forward time and be at a month or more but I know it's good to experience every single day and dare I say it... it's good to struggle and overcome too?

bepresent

Northlander, big love back at you! Sorry to hear you're depressed, but glad you're not going to drink. Those blues will have to lift at some point, but in the meantime we're here for you! Are you still going to meetings as well?

bepresent

James, I know what you mean - it feels like I'm walking on thin ice that could break at any time, and I want to just jump ahead to a couple of months, but I guess this way we appreciate it more!

Branches

Good Morning, Fellow Marchers -

I've been reading all the posts - you guys are so awesome!

To all the Day One newbies, in a little over a week you will be able to add a zero to that 1, and it feels great to be at 10. You can do it. Just for today you can do it, and then tomorrow you'll feel so proud of yourself you'll do it again.

Does anyone else feel like their brain just kicked in, much like a computer that's been in "sleep mode" and has been reactivated? I find myself thinking, thinking, thinking about my life, where I've been, why I've been, what I want to do now, how to be healthy - trying to practice owning my own feelings and being honest about them, yet expressing them in a way slightly more gentle and respectful than a flamethrower. Re-examining all I was taught about emotions and how to handle them. And just seeing the input here from my other Marchers - your insight, humor, raw honesty, frankness -gives me new inspiration and new resolve. At first I was mourning the loss of my drinking - like it was something being done to me and I was reluctantly going along with for the sake of my health and my marriage - now I'm beginning to want to fight for this awesome feeling of being really alive.

Percussion

It seems that the truth is I am a binge drinker, it is sometimes easy enough to go a day or two, but then I start feeling like rewarding myself with a drink for doing so good, and "one is always to much, and a whole bottle is never enough." Nearly any time I've had that first one after say 5 days of sobriety I go through a few days of drinking. I really need to have the mentality to stay away from that one. I feel the same way, that thin ice feeling. Stay strong and I will too!

Percussion

I've heard of this, and I want so badly to be there. Thank you for reminding of one of the many reasons I want to drink. Thanks branches, you always got something awesome to say!

Edit: fixed the underline

Nagel

Day 4

I'm sober. Life is good.

Mizzuno

Hey All, It looks like everyone is doing well. The ups and downs of it all are certainly worth it, especially if our health is coming back into the positive realm. I went to a early meeting and then this afternoon I am heading to a job interview. I am a little nervous. I have to remember that i am not transparent. I am absorbing all that i can right now. Every little thing happens for a reason. We are blessed.

Percussion

For me this thread has been especially helpful more-so than others because many people here are in their first month or much much less of recovery and we can all relate a tad bit easier, not that all of us on this site can't, just a bit more of a smaller community in here. Day 1 again for me, need to get to a freaking meeting

bepresent

Sounds like a plan, Percussion! I'm on day 12 and this is right around my usual 'danger time' when I convince myself I don't really have a problem and buy myself a bottle of wine. Not this time. We can do this!!

T4texas

Percussion,

Keep your head up we have all had many day ones. It takes a while to stick sometimes but you obviously want it and will make it happen.

T

chuff1

Hi Branches
Know what you are saying about brain kicking in...I havent been this together in years!!
I try not to think of it as mourning...thats what you do with family and friends.....alcohol is none of those! Id rather feel real joy that the AV is dying and celebrate that
With a cup of tea of course
Mick

Percussion

I'll cheers to that right now actually with a cup of Earl Grey! And off to work for me. See you all later!

needtostopthis

This is me all the way. Being a binger makes it easier for me to go 4 days.

bepresent

I know what you mean, Branches! I have a book called Emotional Intelligence, and all day I have felt compelled to get it off the bookshelf and start re-reading it - but I've been busy decorating, so maybe some bedtime reading tonight.

During my first long (for me!) stint of sobriety three years ago I had 'be present' tattooed on my inner right wrist, and when I've not been sober (which, sadly, has been the majority of the time since then) I've felt like that good intention was sort of mocking me. Now I feel like I'm being flooded with that original good intention which inspired the permanent reminder to 'be present'. It's not necessarily a comfortable feeling, but I guess this is what it's like to live without being actively controlled by a chemical. I just feel more and more like myself, and aware of ways in which I need to change myself to be a better wife, mother, friend, etc.... sorry, rambling post, but you struck a chord with me there.

360shoes

I think sometimes the depression and or anxiety is just the remnants of withdrawal and will work out on it's own but sometimes it is depression and or anxiety. For me, I let experts on sobriety help me with my sobriety and let experts on anxiety help me with my anxiety. With the caveat that i have to be brutally honest with both on the drinking thing. That's another one of the benefits of the time i had before not drinking. I found out which was which. I have to say it and please take it with all due respect, if you stay sober long enough and it seems like you are still struggling with depression and or anxiety, go get whatever professional help you can get. Never had a drink people get depression and or anxiety too so it's not always alcohol related. There is no shame or wrong in getting help with whatever you need help with.

daisy1

Fao lifeplant - the drunk runner was me, lol

T4texas

360,

I second that. A lot of us that battle with alcohol have depression and anxiety as underlying factors in our drinking. I know that I am one of those. I have never taken prescription medications but have found that with a proper diet, supplements, and exercise I can keep myself from hitting the low points. This time around I am adding trying to live in the moment and forget about the past because the major trigger for my depression is asking " what if" about anything and everything that hasn't gone my way.

T

bepresent

Yes, well said, 360. I've been on anti-depressants but came off them in December. Also, had some over-the-phone counselling for social anxiety which was really helpful. I was nervous about talking to the GP, but they've really seen it all. Getting help for depression and anxiety really does help!

trachemys

Wanting to skip ahead? Do it!

Time is relative, right? Our perception of time is flexible. Time flies when you're having fun, right? Apply a little positive reinforcement to your sobriety.

I haven't had a drink in forever!

I've been sober a long time.

Cookies are better than drinks
(how did that get in there?)