Class of March 2013 part 2
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Boulder County, Co
Posts: 130
Duffster,
In December I managed to quit for 5 weeks after my girl broke it off with me. Things where getting better with us then around week 4 my whiskey monster came raging alive. I held off for a week and then I went on a 48 hour bender. All I had worked for with her was ruined. If you fight through the urges and tell your AV to kick rocks it will go away and you can avoid having to start over with all the consequences that it will entail. I know you can do it so keep strong and come here when ever you need the extra kick of motivation.
T
In December I managed to quit for 5 weeks after my girl broke it off with me. Things where getting better with us then around week 4 my whiskey monster came raging alive. I held off for a week and then I went on a 48 hour bender. All I had worked for with her was ruined. If you fight through the urges and tell your AV to kick rocks it will go away and you can avoid having to start over with all the consequences that it will entail. I know you can do it so keep strong and come here when ever you need the extra kick of motivation.
T
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: US East Coast
Posts: 14,285
Originally Posted by Duffster 
It seems as if I've hit a wall of sorts. I made it through the past 4 weeks feeling so good about myself and quitting and now this struggle.
...
I don't want to live my life like this - just need to hold on to that thought. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes - I feel like I'm day 1.
...
I don't want to live my life like this - just need to hold on to that thought. I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes - I feel like I'm day 1.
For me, anxiety and depression preceded alcohol use but I understand that for others it can be the other way around. I think the best thing we can do is to think positively and be hopeful but at the same time I think we also need to be very determined and wary of the AV. For many, many years I coped with the crumby things that happen in life by drinking. Not a great coping mechanism but unfortunately it's the one I'm used to and mostly the only one I know. I am working on making changes but it is slow going. Day 17 for me and I'm happy about that but also realize how tenuous that still feels. In the past few days I've noticed that I've been thinking more about my list of the advantages of drinking than the disadvantages. That has turned out to be a positive thing because I could only come up with 2 advantages --- 1 drink relaxes me, and more than one leads to way too many so I won't have to deal with anything. And those are not very useful advantages. So my two big tasks right now are to 1) use other methods to relax -- exercise, meditation, yoga, whatever non-addictive works; 2) use other methods to deal with problems - mostly the same tools as #1. The hard part is that when I'm in the middle of feeling crummy, it is difficult to keep those goals in mind.
So that's what I'm mostly working on -- to find alternatives to alcohol to deal with my issues.
I'm happy to see so many new folks joining this thread! Is the Pied Piper of Hamelin in the crowd? It's been an amazing and very inspiring phenomenon. I know many of us will have bumps in the road, but seeing so many inspired people is just awesome. Whatever breaks we can get from our addiction is healing. For those struggling with cravings, anxiety and/or depression, staying with it or climbing back on the bus is so well worth it. Every one of us that quits drinking represents an important victory. Every one of us who can't quite manage it but climbs back on the bus represents another important victory. I believe that together our strength multiplies but our acceptance of each other is critical -- whether we stay on the straight and narrow or stumble. It's always a work in progress :-)
(((hugs)))
Sassy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Duffster it's amazing to know that AV is doing such a number on you at Day 20. My AV is really acting up today (Day 5), this morning it was a constant mutter like a sulky child, now he's turned it up and -- to use the American term -- cussing non-stop. I have been told several times in the last half hour that I am effing useless and stupid. This is not the way I speak or think about my (sober) self so I know this is my addictive voice.
One drink will mean five, he can shove it.
One drink will mean five, he can shove it.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,733
I am going to bed feeling stronger and more confident than I have all day after spending time on this thread. Thank you so much my fellow marchers - I have read and re-read your responses and I have gotten strength and wisdom from each one. I am telling my AV where it can go and I am going to get some much needed rest.
Dee, you have a way of keeping it simple: no drinking, ever, period.
sweet dreams to you all.
Dee, you have a way of keeping it simple: no drinking, ever, period.
sweet dreams to you all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Duffster...I am feeling exactly the same way today. We need to remind ourselves "This too shall pass". My mind started going around 3pm while I was still at work..and it continued well past 7pm. I didn't give in, but I have to admit, I'm not feeling all proud or great right now about it. My best time of day is first thing in the morning, when alcohol is the furthest thing from my mind and I'm fresh from a great sober night's sleep. It starts going downhill early afternoon.
But..I didn't drink today, and neither did you. We are NOT on day 1. They are just feelings and thoughts. It's amazing how my memory can fade quickly, and I can forget the hangovers and the guilt and shame, like somehow I can avoid all of that "this time".
It does get better, I know it does. We just need to get through these hard days.
But..I didn't drink today, and neither did you. We are NOT on day 1. They are just feelings and thoughts. It's amazing how my memory can fade quickly, and I can forget the hangovers and the guilt and shame, like somehow I can avoid all of that "this time".
It does get better, I know it does. We just need to get through these hard days.
Life Goes On
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 6,069
Good Evening All
I, the Great and Powerful and Somewhat Silly Obladi, will now attempt the amazing feat of greeting each and every one of you!
This, my way of saying I know it ain't all about me and yes I pay attention! And also of responding to Branches – yes, indeed it seems my brain is beginning to kick in.
Trachemys, you are a goofball and I like it. Also, I like the way you work with words … and thoughts. I always look for you, too 360. Love the way you turn a phrase, but I do like the paragraphs because they last longer.
MeSoSober, I find myself during the day thinking “Never never never never give up.” Mizzuno, you are the embodiment of living this sentiment. You are doing so well. I am so glad to be in your company. If all you can do is breeze through and tell us that you are planning to stay on track, Ellery, then so be it – no need to apologize!
Yay, SoberForYourSon! You stopped counting the slip. I like how you are sounding. Confident, not wilting-ish. Speaking of which, Wilting, don't you worry about addressing each and every one of us individually. We're here for you nonetheless. Looking forward to that exuberance of which you speak. Although... doing fine or feeling like poo would be ok, too. I mean, not ok, but better than drinking, eh?
Lifetplant, I was wondering where you'd been to. Glad you're here too. I'll bet your worst day at the gym sober will be far more enjoyable than your best day under the influence. Daisy are you running sober now? And NewHouse, I'm glad you put in an appearance to let us know you are faring so well on your vacation. Noexcuse, thanks to you too for your check-in. Northlander and Kelle, hang in there. Please. We've all had those days and I think 360 is right in encouraging people to say it like it is. I think I'll need you to be there for me in another few days, if you can.
I'm quite certain I've had more ridiculous reasons to drink than getting paint in my hair, bepresent. Glad you were able to laugh at yourself. How cool to hear your brain is clicking into “on” mode. It's cool, huh.
Mick, you fox, you. Thanks for carrying the pom poms and cheering everyone on.
We love it when new kids come to class! Yeah, hang with us, cuz we are the hippest class in town. Babs1234, stick around and we'll love you right back! Good to see you again, Grindilow. What an intriguing moniker you have there ArgentOfSilvae; are you a poet, then? Nattythreads, I'd say 50 days is a lot more than “not much” from where I sit, but I hear you. Counting in months or years will be way more comfortable, huhn. How are you doing today, thewalkingdead and coffeetogo? I'm glad you found success here, ericwilson. It was really all your own doing that you broke that cycle, you know. Bravesjp, why NOT go back for drop-in on Wednesday? What's the worst that could happen?
T4texas, in your travels, you've read up on AVRT in the Secular Connections section of this thread, right? I'd be interested in your thoughts on how those concepts fit with the other things you are learning about. The concept of mindfulness has taken some time to grow on me, but I think I'm really starting to get it. Duffster, definitely go over there and take a look. I think it might help. And James, that's just what I mean! Imagine looking forward to experiencing every day and surviving the struggle. What a great thought – thank you. Percussion, what do you think? (*blush* thanks for complimenting me on my name – yes, life does have a tendency to go on – with a bit of luck and wise choices, right.)
It is mighty nice to get up without a struggle, isn't it NeedMySavior? Clight, you are sounding so chipper despite sleeping challenges! Speaking of which, needtostopthis, I'll bet pulling off the birthday party will be much much nicer when you are sober throughout the preparations and have some good sleep in you, no? Misspond, I hope the tea helps. MrBeagle and IreLander, how are you resting now? Better?
JimJim and Dublingal, Trying Harder, Liza, NewDay, Jimuk, grabberblue, micmac - just a few words from you. But such good ones!
RiverFriend, it's terrific that you are doing something different this time, something our friend Dee judiciously but regularly reminds us to do. I really do understand, Duffster. I realized today that my “beast” is probably biding It's time because there is an event coming my way in several weeks and It can wait until then. This is something I'm going to have to really consider seriously rather than “letting” myself just go with it; that being my usual mode in regard to booze. (“Oops, I have NO idea what just happened there!”) ThatGirl and Nagel, yep, yes, uh-huh, exactly. We know where it ultimately leads every d*&ed time. Frustrating, but so is the fact that I can't seem to be able to catch a ball with a glove. We all have our limitations.
Sassy, I'm pretty certain that the great majority of us on this forum have other struggles we need to face once we get through these early phases of sobriety. Can't help but echo you and T4texas in saying we're probably all well served living in the now for now. And maybe we can learn to use that to our advantage. That's my wish for you, yestofreedom, blondsober and really – for all of us. I was absent from the sober weekend thread last weekend due to idiocy and subsequent embarrassment. I hope to see you there. All of you have shown me that owing up quick is a good thing and that community is superior to isolation.
Good day, Marcher13! I don't think it's in the least bit surprising that people would want to come hang out with you. I'd like to stop over for a nice Sunday lunch and sit with you myself. Thanks for taking the night watch so I can rest easy.
“It gets better, I know it does. We just need to get through these hard days.” Excellent closing sentiment, forabetterlife.
I, the Great and Powerful and Somewhat Silly Obladi, will now attempt the amazing feat of greeting each and every one of you!
This, my way of saying I know it ain't all about me and yes I pay attention! And also of responding to Branches – yes, indeed it seems my brain is beginning to kick in.
Trachemys, you are a goofball and I like it. Also, I like the way you work with words … and thoughts. I always look for you, too 360. Love the way you turn a phrase, but I do like the paragraphs because they last longer.
MeSoSober, I find myself during the day thinking “Never never never never give up.” Mizzuno, you are the embodiment of living this sentiment. You are doing so well. I am so glad to be in your company. If all you can do is breeze through and tell us that you are planning to stay on track, Ellery, then so be it – no need to apologize!
Yay, SoberForYourSon! You stopped counting the slip. I like how you are sounding. Confident, not wilting-ish. Speaking of which, Wilting, don't you worry about addressing each and every one of us individually. We're here for you nonetheless. Looking forward to that exuberance of which you speak. Although... doing fine or feeling like poo would be ok, too. I mean, not ok, but better than drinking, eh?
Lifetplant, I was wondering where you'd been to. Glad you're here too. I'll bet your worst day at the gym sober will be far more enjoyable than your best day under the influence. Daisy are you running sober now? And NewHouse, I'm glad you put in an appearance to let us know you are faring so well on your vacation. Noexcuse, thanks to you too for your check-in. Northlander and Kelle, hang in there. Please. We've all had those days and I think 360 is right in encouraging people to say it like it is. I think I'll need you to be there for me in another few days, if you can.
I'm quite certain I've had more ridiculous reasons to drink than getting paint in my hair, bepresent. Glad you were able to laugh at yourself. How cool to hear your brain is clicking into “on” mode. It's cool, huh.
Mick, you fox, you. Thanks for carrying the pom poms and cheering everyone on.
We love it when new kids come to class! Yeah, hang with us, cuz we are the hippest class in town. Babs1234, stick around and we'll love you right back! Good to see you again, Grindilow. What an intriguing moniker you have there ArgentOfSilvae; are you a poet, then? Nattythreads, I'd say 50 days is a lot more than “not much” from where I sit, but I hear you. Counting in months or years will be way more comfortable, huhn. How are you doing today, thewalkingdead and coffeetogo? I'm glad you found success here, ericwilson. It was really all your own doing that you broke that cycle, you know. Bravesjp, why NOT go back for drop-in on Wednesday? What's the worst that could happen?
T4texas, in your travels, you've read up on AVRT in the Secular Connections section of this thread, right? I'd be interested in your thoughts on how those concepts fit with the other things you are learning about. The concept of mindfulness has taken some time to grow on me, but I think I'm really starting to get it. Duffster, definitely go over there and take a look. I think it might help. And James, that's just what I mean! Imagine looking forward to experiencing every day and surviving the struggle. What a great thought – thank you. Percussion, what do you think? (*blush* thanks for complimenting me on my name – yes, life does have a tendency to go on – with a bit of luck and wise choices, right.)
It is mighty nice to get up without a struggle, isn't it NeedMySavior? Clight, you are sounding so chipper despite sleeping challenges! Speaking of which, needtostopthis, I'll bet pulling off the birthday party will be much much nicer when you are sober throughout the preparations and have some good sleep in you, no? Misspond, I hope the tea helps. MrBeagle and IreLander, how are you resting now? Better?
JimJim and Dublingal, Trying Harder, Liza, NewDay, Jimuk, grabberblue, micmac - just a few words from you. But such good ones!
RiverFriend, it's terrific that you are doing something different this time, something our friend Dee judiciously but regularly reminds us to do. I really do understand, Duffster. I realized today that my “beast” is probably biding It's time because there is an event coming my way in several weeks and It can wait until then. This is something I'm going to have to really consider seriously rather than “letting” myself just go with it; that being my usual mode in regard to booze. (“Oops, I have NO idea what just happened there!”) ThatGirl and Nagel, yep, yes, uh-huh, exactly. We know where it ultimately leads every d*&ed time. Frustrating, but so is the fact that I can't seem to be able to catch a ball with a glove. We all have our limitations.
Sassy, I'm pretty certain that the great majority of us on this forum have other struggles we need to face once we get through these early phases of sobriety. Can't help but echo you and T4texas in saying we're probably all well served living in the now for now. And maybe we can learn to use that to our advantage. That's my wish for you, yestofreedom, blondsober and really – for all of us. I was absent from the sober weekend thread last weekend due to idiocy and subsequent embarrassment. I hope to see you there. All of you have shown me that owing up quick is a good thing and that community is superior to isolation.
Good day, Marcher13! I don't think it's in the least bit surprising that people would want to come hang out with you. I'd like to stop over for a nice Sunday lunch and sit with you myself.
Thanks for taking the night watch so I can rest easy.“It gets better, I know it does. We just need to get through these hard days.” Excellent closing sentiment, forabetterlife.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Cannon Falls, MN
Posts: 4
Darn it! Too late to be included in Obladi's post - maybe next time. End of Day 3 for me, with no real issues. That'll change tomorrow night - it's church school night, and we and another couple for the past few years have been bringing our kids to church and then meeting at the local saloon. It's going to be interesting. I may have to beg off.
And a newbie's question: What's the AV some of you have spoken of? It's not included in the list of acronyms elsewhere on this site, I think
And a newbie's question: What's the AV some of you have spoken of? It's not included in the list of acronyms elsewhere on this site, I think
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,383
It stands for addictive voice.
It's a hallmark of Rational Recovery and their Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT).
I think a lot of people use it here without any reference to RR tho - they really identify with the concept of that voice we all hear from time to time.
D
It's a hallmark of Rational Recovery and their Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT).
I think a lot of people use it here without any reference to RR tho - they really identify with the concept of that voice we all hear from time to time.
D
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Originally Posted by md4606
So Dee, it's basically the little demon that seems to sit on both of my shoulders, whispering in my ear EVERY FREAKIN' MINUTE of the day, then?
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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