Originally Posted by
Branches 
Does anyone else feel like their brain just kicked in, much like a computer that's been in "sleep mode" and has been reactivated? I find myself thinking, thinking, thinking about my life, where I've been, why I've been, what I want to do now, how to be healthy - trying to practice owning my own feelings and being honest about them, yet expressing them in a way slightly more gentle and respectful than a flamethrower. Re-examining all I was taught about emotions and how to handle them. And just seeing the input here from my other Marchers - your insight, humor, raw honesty, frankness -gives me new inspiration and new resolve. At first I was mourning the loss of my drinking - like it was something being done to me and I was reluctantly going along with for the sake of my health and my marriage - now I'm beginning to want to fight for this awesome feeling of being really alive.
I know what you mean, Branches! I have a book called Emotional Intelligence, and all day I have felt compelled to get it off the bookshelf and start re-reading it - but I've been busy decorating, so maybe some bedtime reading tonight.
During my first long (for me!) stint of sobriety three years ago I had 'be present' tattooed on my inner right wrist, and when I've not been sober (which, sadly, has been the majority of the time since then) I've felt like that good intention was sort of mocking me. Now I feel like I'm being flooded with that original good intention which inspired the permanent reminder to 'be present'. It's not necessarily a comfortable feeling, but I guess this is what it's like to live without being actively controlled by a chemical. I just feel more and more like myself, and aware of ways in which I need to change myself to be a better wife, mother, friend, etc.... sorry, rambling post, but you struck a chord with me there.