AlisonW

Good morning everyone. Got to work a little late this morning so unfortuntely I haven't had a chance to read everyone's posts but wanted to check in. Day 13 for me, and day 30 with no cigarettes. This morning in the shower I had the first inkling of thoughts like, wow, not drinking ever again is a long time... what about cold beers in the summer and free drinks at the casino? Then I reminded myself one day at a time... I am absolutely sure that I will not drink today, and told myself that a cold lemonade on a hot day would probably taste even better than a beer...
I would really like a cigarette though, but I won't have one of these either. I know I'm anxious today because I have my breathalyzer refusal hearing at the DMV court. It's basically a formality, but the cop who arrested me will be there and that is nerve-wracking for some reason. My husband is coming with me and I have a lawyer, so I won't be alone, but I'm still shaking and heart is pounding thinking about it. I wish I could just put all of this in the past.
I can't wait to make it to my one month. Congrats to all those who will get there tomorrow, and to those who have more or less time - congrats to you too!
Today my motto is "One foot in front of the other..."
-Alison

stillhere12

i am determined to be part of the jan/13 group so that next year at this time i can be looking back a year with a big smile on my face. I have had health scares recently that have really scared me - not small matters. One of them relates to my drinking and that one impacts everything of course, my whole body/mind/spirit. Some of you can probably relate that with the first big scare a few months back, the first thing i wanted to do was drink to not feel the fear and worry. i dealt with it tho and tried to quit on jan. 1, the jan. 12, and one other jan. something. but now the month is running out and so is my semi-healthy time on earth, if i don't nail it this time around. I started seeing a therapist last week and i do think she will be most helpful. love, stillhere

woodhead

Alison,
I understand your anxiety, having had a similar experience about a year ago. Stay strong and you will make it through this. I do know one thing - drinking would only add to the anxiety. I had to learn this the hard way. Just think about that when all this is over you'll be able to drive anywhere you want without fear, because you won't be drinking. Peace of mind is worth a lot. Stay strong.

Day 18 here and all is well. Wishing all a great day.
Best,
W

AlisonW

Hi Woodhead, thanks for the encouragement. It help a lot of have so much support, both here and from my husband and close friends. And it's nice to know other people have been through it and came out on the other side. In the end, it's a blessing, because it was the push I needed to stop drinking. But it's a scary push.

You're in the SE US, so I'm assuming "Woodhead" is not a NE Patriots reference?

-Alison

woodhead

Alison,
No Patriots ref. When me and the boys used to get snockered, the resulting vicious hang over came to be known as "having a wooden head". Good luck today.
Best,
W

halfvictory

alisonW: congrats on 13 days and good luck at court. woodhead is right. it would be worse if you drank.

stillhere: don't worry about next year. worry about today. determine to not drink just for today.

day 10 for me. first time on double digits; although looking back on January I have only had drinks on 3 days so I will consider it a success even if its not how I wanted it to be. Feeling great at the moment and just staying strong.

ArcticSA

Lndsay Marie I was exactly where you are with the job issue a few years back. It was a call center and I made good money and our finances were so much more doable, but I HATED it with every fiber of my being. I would come up with every excuse in the book to skip work. I would purposely try to run my car out of gas so I couldnt make it, not plug it in the winter so it wouldnt start, I would claim migraines,vision problems,etc. it was so bad. and I usually have a good work ethic, but it was a cubicle in a basement and the bosses were frickin nazis, adn we were expected to be walked all over by customers and jsut say "Im sorry,im sorry,im sorry" ugh. The day I quit was so liberating, and yes we have struggled financially since, but let me tell you, my kids and husband sure appreciate me being home all day, and it is amazing how little you can live off of once you adjust to a smaller income. Like a $8 shirt from Goodwill is a splurge, lol. But its worth it, so I would say to you, DO IT its worth your happiness!

ArcticSA

DAY 4
I feel strange. One minute I am happy and calm and thinking I feel good. The next minute I am hyper and talkative and just want to shout I FEEL GRRRREEEAT!!!. And the next minute I am snappy and irritated. I guess moodswings are normal...but wow...makes me feel bi-polar!
I just realized I havent had heartburn in 2 1/2 days, so thats awesome as it was a daily occurence when I was drinking.
Last night watching TV with the hub I was kind of dismayed to realize how bored I was. I was just pouting thinking "wow, this is really fricking boring" when anyother night we would be watching Jackass and Stepbrothers and drunkily laughing our butts off chewing Grizzly, then having a deep intense conversation and end the night professing our love and passing out peacefully.
I know, I know, its not all roses but it really kind of saddens me to think it will never be like that again. And yes I know I should be able to do all that without alcohol, but it will stil NOT be the same.
I guess my question is, yes, its great to be liberated from alcohol, BUT it is it normal to grieve it???

blondsober

3rd Day 1 Here! Any New Peeps wanna join me?

Sober 1/30/2013 (Third Day 1 is the Charm!)

blondsober

Awesome post, exactly what I've been thinking - grieving it . . . I think it is normal. And it's hard to realize when you're recovering from that lifestyle (which I am too) how many amazing and wonderful and *better* things will start coming in to fill the void left when the "drunkily laughing and passed out" time is available to do things that are filled with healthy joy.

soopy99

[QUOTE=

I guess I can be honest here. I have been totally blowing off work for the last few, four months. I thought it was because I was always drunk/hungover or when I had my nervous breakdown in mid-november. Then it was because my kids were sick, I was sick...blah blah blah. I am pretty clear headed lately, and I have come to the conclusion that I could not care one iota about this place or these people. It goes way beyond just an income. It's my freakin' sanity. I HAVE to get my resume together ASAP and get out there and look around. I am handling this very immaturely, and I am holding the match on the other side of the bridge. How horrible is that? Millions of unemployed people begging for jobs and i'm ungrateful for mine. '!![/QUOTE]

I'm having issues with my job as well. It is incredibly stressful and high pressure; the kind where I can get an email at 5:30 on a Friday that basically tells me to drop all weekend plans because ill have to be in the office or travel all weekend. It also doesn't help that there is a cocktail hour in the office once or twice a week.

I wish I could quit, but any other job I could take would result in a big pay cut.

LindseyMarie

I took off the next two days. I feel peaceful and content, minus the little black cloud of guilt over my head. but i'm sober and plan on staying that way. I think i'm mentally boycotting, or am I just making excuses? I have no idea.

Arctic, thanks! I think we can do it, hubby insists we can't, but I think it's more of a cut-back on a lot of stuff that bothers him. And then i think, why should he have to? He works his butt off and he deserves to spend some of his hard earned money. I feel selfish right now, but in reality, if i'm going to stay home w/ my younger daughter, i only have until next August till she starts pre-k. I wouldn't stay home forever and not sure if i'd even want that (yes i would.) I don't know, I'm in limbo.

AW, good luck at court! Let us know how you make out. Oh my gosh, I totally understand what you are saying about life as we know it and being sober. I think of all sorts of things that i LOVED to drink. Summer days putzing around the yard with a cold corona. It would have been fine if I could have just one or two, but 18 beers later, I was dehydrated, sunburned, wasted beyond belief and dirty from 'gardening' (digging holes with my hands and then forgetting to put the flower in there) sooooo, I look forward to summer sober. I'm going to try my hand at sweet tea again.


Congrats on making it another day guys, January is almost over

LindseyMarie

Soopy, oh man, you must be pretty unhappy when that email comes through!

nel68

This is day 30 for me no drink or smokes!!!!! After being sober 6 1/2 months then relapsed in mid summer I feel great about my 30 days!! ...It was a long struggle those 5 relapse months! I am so happy I found SR last year, I don't think I would of even come close to 6 months sober...So thank you SR for the support through the good and bad♥

LindseyMarie

That's awesome Nel! Happy 30 days! A MONTH!! I love this board too, it sure has been a godsend through this battle of the wills!

sober1ck

Hi Nel, that sounds like my 2012. I was good for just over 6, and then.... well.... that's pretty much my story!

bounced

"Sometimes I think about having a glass of wine with dinner. Then I remember I have plans for Christmas." - Robert Downey, Jr

Rosieblue

meal then cinema with hubby on the weekend might even let him choise the film or maybe not lol but theres got to be cake. chocolate cake

RiverFriend

Well, I slipped up again the last several days and am wanting nothing more than to be done and move to brighter places. Going to hit a meeting at lunch or right after work to physically do something different than what I've been doing and acknowledge that I have a problem with alcohol. I use it for the wrong reasons and it never helps. Ugh, glad to be a part of this group and adamant about being a part of January 2013. Today is still January and I can do this with a little help from my friends. Oh and congrats Nel.....reading your post gives me some needed hope.

nel68

Hang in there RiverFriend today is a new day,we can do this together