Class of January 2013 pt 4
 

continues from here :)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rt-3-a-21.html

D

And so it shall continue.

The fifth consecutive night of battle with mt AV, and I got exhausted.

I failed tonight. Bleh. It wasn't even satisfying. It's the first time drinking has been disappointing to me immediately after the fact. As such, I (almost) don't regret it. Tonight, for the first time, really served to show me just how hollow a full bottle can be.

I poured the rest out.

This won't happen again.

I'm better than this.

Well done mraverage for tipping put the rest and realising its not worth it :) lesson learnt hope your av gives you a little peace know.

Get well soon Dee

Hope you feel better soon Dee74
MrAverage - wtg for pouring the stuff out!! ..really felt like it myself last night but the dissapointment of doing it hit me before I did - does that make sense?? I have been there so many times before. Fighting with my AV as Im walking in the store, buying it then gluging it then the dissapointment and self loathing for the next 3 days.
Think you did deserve a BIG gold star for pouing it out - I never did - cant!!
:scoregood

Hello all blimey this thread get bigger and bigger! I have to read twice a day otherwise I have to sit down for almost an hour to read them all.

Checking in on day 25 for me. I survived another Thursday home alone as hubby gone playing darts. Watched girly crap on telly and ate more than I should. Still got my food demons to deal with as well as AV. Can not believe I have almost made a whole month! That hasn't happened since I was pregnant with the twins!

I am so proud of everyone in this group either new older or having a bumpy ride. Keep strong people we can beat this we must stick together. Safety in numbers (if you add all that willpower together we are invincible) we are going to win.:ring

Good morning all - Day 11

Feeling quite anxious this morning. Have a meeting at work this afternoon and I,ve got that forboding feeling that they may have to cut down on salaried staff!! If thats the case I was last in..so...Anyway, trying really hard to keep myself occupied and staying positive..hoping its just this awful anxiety - stinking thinking - that people here on SR write about during recovery..fingers crossed. Suffered with it for so many years didnt EVER associate it with my drinking..AV wouldnt have allowed that im guessing?

Lisamum, well done on day 25 especially being home alone last night dealing with AV - proud of you too !!

Will be fighting hard with AV for sure today...I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY

Catch up with you guys later - stay strong peeps - lovin your posts and priceless advice..:tyou

Just checking in to say hi. It's 3:30am here and I just finished a work project and am finally going to bed. Goodnight/good morning!

Miss you, Dee. Get well soon.

((((Dee))))) I hope you are recovering quickly and painlessly from whatever has kept you out. :(

MrAverage, WOW. You poured it out? NICE!

LisaMum, 25 days ROCKS! I want to be like you!

Serenity, I'm praying that your job is secure. And if it isn't, I have hope that there is something BETTER in store for you. Either way, a drink won't make anything better. :) I went through a very emotional job loss a few years ago, which, I see now, is what pushed me over the edge in my drinking. I fell into a depression that only got worse when I drank. Since then, I've come into a career that blows my mind daily in how fulfilling it is and how the opportunities keep pouring in. If I hadn't lost that other job, I never would be where I am now. I hope this encourages you that, either way, it can be very, very good! Value yourself and fill your body with good, nourishing things -- there is enough toxin in the world and we don't to add any more. :)

I made it through day 2 ... now to live my day 3. It's been good. Going to bed early helps. (and it makes it easier to take the puppy for a walk at 5:30am ... )

Good for you for stopping before you wrote yourself off, MrAverage! Much harder done than said! Stay strong,

Hi January, it's coming up on the weekend, and that has been OK, but ya never know. Have had some fairly powerful cravings inspired by "Who cares? We're all just dust in the wind." Oh, come on AV, something original please?

kam sounds intense at home, tough scene. Hope there's something you can do to establish a boundary or two. When my mom was mad at me, she would sometimes say "you're just like your father." No, actually the **** and vinegar is from you, mom. We fought like rabid dogs, but now she's gotten up in years and has calmed down a lot. Does your mom know the serenity prayer?! Good luck kam.

hi soopy, thanks for joining in. Hi Rosie, Benny, Lindsey, Peaceful.

Reeny, it sucks that other people expect me to drink again, messes with my head. Easier said than done to get away from what others think/do/say. I also like the trampoline image, and don't believe you have to be in a million pieces before putting destructive addictions away. PBC, bullet pointed lists, order! I forgot about lists, I tried carrying around a pocket notebook with lists. It felt good to cross out the tasks. Then, I fell away from it for no special reason. I want to try that again.

Hi aussie, Alison, Like2Hike, blond, James, yestofree. MrA, once I started stopping, times I started to drink got a bit hollow. I knew I wasn't solving anything, and that did something from keeping me from any believable escape.

Serenity, thanks for sharing the experience about the disappointment and 3 day self-loathe-fest that follows drinking. I could never not drink once I had it, so it is definitely never something I can stock at home.

Lindseym congrats, you are coming up on a month. Serenity, thinking of you, good luck today. Hi Lunetta, hope you're asleep.

Sober day and weekend all! Oh, I almost forgot to complain, wtf. Holy awkward, the meeting last night splits into groups after the lead . . . I had my sponsor, a former sponsor that ended in my sending him to hell, my ex girlfriend. Whatever, new day. Hope it's a bloody winner.

Day 25
 

Well done, LisaMum. You're going great guns. I survived my AV today too. Came at me in a really surreptitious way. Left work with a pounding headache, did some shopping and the AV urged me to go to the pharmacy next door to the supermarket to get some codeine pain relief. After all, I had a headache and half a pack of pills couldn't hurt me, right? Pharmacy was closed so I started crossing the street to a late-opening one right across the road. And then I stopped right in the middle of crossing and did an about face (must have looked weird!) Don't know how it happened, just something subconscious in me defeated the AV. Nice! :> Still have a headache but a smile on my face!

Sending lots and lots of positive vibes your way, Serenityforme. You can do this!

Hello everyone. Day 13 here on a Friday, but I don't plan on having bad luck regarding picking up a beer can. Am going to my hunting camp this evening where the beer will be flowing, but I won't partake. I had the best night's sleep I've had in years last night, and don't want to mess up my sleep pattern.

Best to all, and wishing you a safe, happy, and sober weekend.

Oh well, off to face the unknown!!!!

Thank you all for the wonderful messages of support - has bought a tear to my eyes.

You all rock :tyou

I WILL NOT DRINK TODAY

Woodhead have a great sober hunting weekend

Serenity hope your day is better than you were imagining :)

Lunetta hope you are sleeping :)

Sober1ck sorry you had a bad experience last night well done on staying strong

HA weekend why does my av wake up on a Friday and get itself a megaphone... boredom is a factor so my weekend checklist is..

Brownie mix... Check
Dvd mountain... Check
Wii set up... Check
Kindle charged and stuffed full of books... Check
Language disc... Check
Wine.... Unchecked :)

Lindsey just ordered an amythist stone so pretty..

Oh, boy, now I have to have an un-check list also! I'm also curious about the stones.... surfing for that will keep me busy for a little.... Thanks everyone for being here

Thanks Rosie. I appreciate your posts.

Day two sober. Still really upset with myself for drinking the other night and worried about going in to work after calling off yesterday. I really hope I can stay sober this time.

Day 13 here as well, feeling pretty good, no plans for drinking but I take it one day (sometimes one minute) at a time. Hope all have a nice sober weekend. It is snowing hard here in Dayton Ohio!