Class of May 2012 Pt 7
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Good Wednesday evening, May boaters! Day 67 on this thunderstormy day. No electricity loss, so big bonus there. Soon, I'll be working on hammering out a smoother version of the Rondo on my horn. Figured I'd give the pets some time to hunt down earplugs, first.
Dee: Thank you for the congrats on my job! Hope you're doing better with your back ailment.
Soberjane: Having fun at the beach? You sound wonderfully relaxed, May mate! New places, new faces, new stressors bring about potential triggers, and you're handling it all so well. I'm so proud of you for going back to school after joining the workforce. I agree with Dee in that you will approach your studies in a more mature and thoughtful manner. You're doing great!
Thursday: You sound terrific in your sobriety! And I'm thinking that the actors are drinking unfermented grape juice in those movies. Thank you for the good wishes on my job. It truly does take the pressure off. With the cats, I try visit the house by myself to avoid revealing any crack in the armor of my otherwise ever-present patience with others.
Super-Crew: There's a test? On what? When? I didn't study! I'm not ready! Hey, our student boaters, Soberjane and Emily,.... help!!! 
Payton: Speaking of students, how are you? Hope things are settling down for you at home. Please send us a post when you can.
2Mags: How are you doing? Still busy with your magazine deadline? Hope all is well.
Emily: Congrats on Day 45! You sound happy in your sobriety today and that's wonderful. Thank you for your kind thoughts on my rehire. Ah, yes, the cat food; I wonder about final results if I blindfolded the cats and gave them different types of canned chicken as a taste test. Hmmm... maybe I should wrestle down those cat ladies and make them submit to the chicken tasting, too.
You-Rock: You sound awesome as always, May mate! Thank you for your kind words on my job status. You work harder than anyone I know, my friend, so I'm glad you finally have time to enjoy some socializing. As far as social graces, um....you know as well as I do that us East coasters tend to be a hard-core bunch. However, since my last cat feeding day is tomorrow (YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!), I will happily lend you my renewed/refreshed Pach-solid poise in time for Friday. Will that help? (Since Tranny confides in me for advice, then I can fool almost anyone.)
Luling: May I follow you to Nova Scotia on my Behemoth Barge? Transportation is a bit slow, and it might take me a week, or a month... or more, but eventually I'll get there. Hang tough in your sobriety, superhero. We'll be an iPhone away if/when you need us. Hugs to you!
Went to see the Matriarch today in her last full day at rehab. She looks so much better and stronger. First thing she said was, "I'm still going to need you to feed the cats for me." I stifled a "@#$%!" and asked if there was anyone else who could fill in, since I'll be working at my newly-reinstated, no-longer-feel-sorry-for-myself-that-I'm-a-deadbeat job. Thinking there are global cat lady networkers aplenty who'd happily take over the feedings.
Have a lovely evening, boaters. I'll be around tonight. Love and hugs to all.
Dee: Thank you for the congrats on my job! Hope you're doing better with your back ailment.
Soberjane: Having fun at the beach? You sound wonderfully relaxed, May mate! New places, new faces, new stressors bring about potential triggers, and you're handling it all so well. I'm so proud of you for going back to school after joining the workforce. I agree with Dee in that you will approach your studies in a more mature and thoughtful manner. You're doing great!
Thursday: You sound terrific in your sobriety! And I'm thinking that the actors are drinking unfermented grape juice in those movies. Thank you for the good wishes on my job. It truly does take the pressure off. With the cats, I try visit the house by myself to avoid revealing any crack in the armor of my otherwise ever-present patience with others.
Originally Posted by crewisms 
test
Payton: Speaking of students, how are you? Hope things are settling down for you at home. Please send us a post when you can.
2Mags: How are you doing? Still busy with your magazine deadline? Hope all is well.
Emily: Congrats on Day 45! You sound happy in your sobriety today and that's wonderful. Thank you for your kind thoughts on my rehire. Ah, yes, the cat food; I wonder about final results if I blindfolded the cats and gave them different types of canned chicken as a taste test. Hmmm... maybe I should wrestle down those cat ladies and make them submit to the chicken tasting, too.
You-Rock: You sound awesome as always, May mate! Thank you for your kind words on my job status. You work harder than anyone I know, my friend, so I'm glad you finally have time to enjoy some socializing. As far as social graces, um....you know as well as I do that us East coasters tend to be a hard-core bunch. However, since my last cat feeding day is tomorrow (YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!), I will happily lend you my renewed/refreshed Pach-solid poise in time for Friday. Will that help? (Since Tranny confides in me for advice, then I can fool almost anyone.)
Luling: May I follow you to Nova Scotia on my Behemoth Barge? Transportation is a bit slow, and it might take me a week, or a month... or more, but eventually I'll get there. Hang tough in your sobriety, superhero. We'll be an iPhone away if/when you need us. Hugs to you!
Went to see the Matriarch today in her last full day at rehab. She looks so much better and stronger. First thing she said was, "I'm still going to need you to feed the cats for me." I stifled a "@#$%!" and asked if there was anyone else who could fill in, since I'll be working at my newly-reinstated, no-longer-feel-sorry-for-myself-that-I'm-a-deadbeat job. Thinking there are global cat lady networkers aplenty who'd happily take over the feedings.
Have a lovely evening, boaters. I'll be around tonight. Love and hugs to all.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Oh Frenchie, you are the best!!! Pach-solid poise is just what I need.
I am so glad 2nd mom is busting out tomorrow and your cat duties are ending. Good news all around. You should buy a lottery ticket, your on a winning streak here!
I am so glad 2nd mom is busting out tomorrow and your cat duties are ending. Good news all around. You should buy a lottery ticket, your on a winning streak here!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 1,002
Originally Posted by Soberjanedoe
It's not an instant thing, I can't just give up alcohol and say I'm sober. One week I'll be feeling fine and dandy and then the insecurities that made me turn to alcohol come out. If I'm going to be sober. I need to face my anxiety and my faults head on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Congrats FrenchPink on gettin the old job back!!! Great news!
Thanks Emily for the love. I am glad you are feeling more upbeat.
Saskia, maybe you are missing something yes, but in a relationship you'd miss all the excitement of single life everything involves a trade off.
Thanks for the love Crew!!!
Thursday, I remember sideways glamorizing the wine culture, but it also showed the ugly side of drinking too if I recall correctly? Doesn't he go off the deep end with it at the end? Try to focus on that part of a booze bender in the movies
Dee, I read your story. You are a very strong man for surviving all that. Amazing! Yay you. And you are our rock here too. Are you a super hero?
AFM, I enjoyed a dinner out with 4 close girlfriends. My birthday is today these gals are great support in my sobriety, and it was a lovely alcohol free evening!
Hope everyone else is getting some needed rest! G'night May Flowers
Thanks Emily for the love. I am glad you are feeling more upbeat.
Saskia, maybe you are missing something yes, but in a relationship you'd miss all the excitement of single life
everything involves a trade off.Thanks for the love Crew!!!
Thursday, I remember sideways glamorizing the wine culture, but it also showed the ugly side of drinking too if I recall correctly? Doesn't he go off the deep end with it at the end? Try to focus on that part of a booze bender in the movies
Dee, I read your story. You are a very strong man for surviving all that. Amazing! Yay you. And you are our rock here too. Are you a super hero?
AFM, I enjoyed a dinner out with 4 close girlfriends. My birthday is today
these gals are great support in my sobriety, and it was a lovely alcohol free evening!Hope everyone else is getting some needed rest! G'night May Flowers
7:day2Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 256
Originally Posted by FrenchPink
2Mags: How are you doing? Still busy with your magazine deadline? Hope all is well.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Day 46. Cold, wet, and windy. Went to another new meeting this morning, it was good, but it meant that a large chunk of the day was spent travelling.
Am coming to the conclusion that long bus trips and coffee are an appalling combination. Especially when you can't find the right key for the door...
As it once said on a sign in a toilet somewhere. "Out of order. We apologise for the incontinence."
Sorry, that was a totally unnecessary image, but it's where I was last night.
Today was another day when my head was not in a good place. So I got my arse in gear and went to a meeting. Much like last night when I found myself sitting around in Beeston waiting for friends to arrive, and feeling like nobody wanted to talk to me.
I came close to saying "I'll be back in a bit," and then going for a pint... And then realised that I'd have time for more than one. And then... well, I just fast forwarded the tape. I remembered there was a meeting that night, so I checked where it was with my phone, made my excuses and left. At least in the meeting people would be genuinely glad to see me, and honesty is appreciated.
I guess I know where I'll be on a Wednesday night from now on... (sigh) So much for my life outside the rooms.
Anyway, that brings me up to the present day, present time. I was about to say that I was feeling better. And in a lot of ways, I am. Meatballs and instant ramen again. Ah instant ramen... how I miss it from my student days. Would that was the only thing I was feeling nostalgic about...
Part of it, I think, is that I'm tired, really tired, and I'm missing my fiance. Part of it is that I'm feeling isolated in the 'real world'. When people respond to 'Hi, how's it going' with mono syllables, or when you answer a question, and they look at you with a 'Yeah? Well who asked you?" expression on their face... That's when you know you're not wanted.
But today is better than it started, so that's good.
I'm a little worried about Saturday. Part of me says that going in a pub with my head where it is is a really bad plan, and it's probably right. But if I don't go, if I don't meet these folks... that's not really a good option. I don't think there is a safe option.
Anyway, I have a meeting tomorrow. Which is good. But for now. Saturday can wait till Saturday.
OneLessLonely, Leemzer, Deserto, Jeni - hopefully we'll all feel more energised, alert, awake and generally more lively soon.
Luling - I've not been to Canada, but it sounds like a fun trip. Hope you have some good laughs, and come back with some great memories.
SoberJaneDoe - at the beach? I'm jealous. Even if it is winter down under. I love the sea at any time of year. And yes, the early days of sobriety is a bit of a rollercoaster. I'll be glad when things settle down. And I'm assured they will. Stay strong.
FP - glad that you might be able to get off cat feeding duties. The thought of you feeding bits of chicken to blindfolded cat ladies... is a really entertaining image.
kittycat - happy birthday!:In fact... day2
2Magnolias - congratulations on day 80.
As for me, things aren't as bad as they sound. Last night was... not so good for a number of reasons, but that was yesterday. Today... things are looking up. I'm going to have a lie down in a bit, for a bit. Get some rest. Maybe go and get a little bar of chocolate.
Anyway, have a good evening folks. You're a great bunch and I'm glad to be part of this 'class of may 2012'. Love and hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you.
Am coming to the conclusion that long bus trips and coffee are an appalling combination. Especially when you can't find the right key for the door...
As it once said on a sign in a toilet somewhere. "Out of order. We apologise for the incontinence."
Sorry, that was a totally unnecessary image, but it's where I was last night.
Today was another day when my head was not in a good place. So I got my arse in gear and went to a meeting. Much like last night when I found myself sitting around in Beeston waiting for friends to arrive, and feeling like nobody wanted to talk to me.
I came close to saying "I'll be back in a bit," and then going for a pint... And then realised that I'd have time for more than one. And then... well, I just fast forwarded the tape. I remembered there was a meeting that night, so I checked where it was with my phone, made my excuses and left. At least in the meeting people would be genuinely glad to see me, and honesty is appreciated.
I guess I know where I'll be on a Wednesday night from now on... (sigh) So much for my life outside the rooms.
Anyway, that brings me up to the present day, present time. I was about to say that I was feeling better. And in a lot of ways, I am. Meatballs and instant ramen again. Ah instant ramen... how I miss it from my student days. Would that was the only thing I was feeling nostalgic about...
Part of it, I think, is that I'm tired, really tired, and I'm missing my fiance. Part of it is that I'm feeling isolated in the 'real world'. When people respond to 'Hi, how's it going' with mono syllables, or when you answer a question, and they look at you with a 'Yeah? Well who asked you?" expression on their face... That's when you know you're not wanted.
But today is better than it started, so that's good.
I'm a little worried about Saturday. Part of me says that going in a pub with my head where it is is a really bad plan, and it's probably right. But if I don't go, if I don't meet these folks... that's not really a good option. I don't think there is a safe option.
Anyway, I have a meeting tomorrow. Which is good. But for now. Saturday can wait till Saturday.
OneLessLonely, Leemzer, Deserto, Jeni - hopefully we'll all feel more energised, alert, awake and generally more lively soon.
Luling - I've not been to Canada, but it sounds like a fun trip. Hope you have some good laughs, and come back with some great memories.
SoberJaneDoe - at the beach? I'm jealous. Even if it is winter down under. I love the sea at any time of year. And yes, the early days of sobriety is a bit of a rollercoaster. I'll be glad when things settle down. And I'm assured they will. Stay strong.
FP - glad that you might be able to get off cat feeding duties. The thought of you feeding bits of chicken to blindfolded cat ladies... is a really entertaining image.
kittycat - happy birthday!:In fact... day2
2Magnolias - congratulations on day 80.
As for me, things aren't as bad as they sound. Last night was... not so good for a number of reasons, but that was yesterday. Today... things are looking up. I'm going to have a lie down in a bit, for a bit. Get some rest. Maybe go and get a little bar of chocolate.
Anyway, have a good evening folks. You're a great bunch and I'm glad to be part of this 'class of may 2012'. Love and hugs to you all. And may your higher power go with you.
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
Originally Posted by kittycat3
Congrats FrenchPink on gettin the old job back!!! Great news!
My birthday is today
My birthday is today
Our herd pitched in to bake a cake for you. Thank you for your kind wishes on my job rehire.
elephantbirthday.jpg
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
Hey all,
A little melancholy on my 60th day. Google "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri and imagine me singing it to alcohol. In fact, I don't know if this works, but Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts (Official Music Video) - YouTube It just came on the radio on my way home from work and just struck a chord. I'm proud of myself for not drinking for 60 days. I have gotten through a few events sober that I used to use as excuses for delaying stopping drinking. "I can't quit yet, how will I get through buying a house, moving, so-and-so's wedding?" I'm beyond some of the times that I was worried about when I first started this journey. Some went better than expected. Some just plain sucked. I tried so hard to look at this as doing something fantastic for my mind, my body, my marriage, my family, my future. Instead of being unique for being the drunk girl, I looked at this as becoming unique for being the non-drinker. It worked for awhile. My AV was easy to recognize and I was so mad at it for controlling me for so long that I don't think I had many edge-of-my-seat minute-by-minute cravings. But I think my AV has smartened up to my keen sense and is trying other tactics. It is making 60 days sound like the end of the experiment. It says, "You had no slips in 60 days. And I know you don't even really want to drink right now, but how about the next time you really want a drink, just go for it. It is tiring always being so vigilant about staying sober. There's no tape to play through. You realized you were getting crazy, it scared you, you proved you can stop altogether, so I think you'll be just fine from now on." It's already writing my farewell post to you all, "Guys, I'm going back out. Thanks for everything. I gotta take this risk and see for myself if I really have just been over-reacting." I just hate to think I'll never have the confidence I had while drinking, and therefore never some of the more fun times I had while drinking. Like I get that my lows will never be as low if I stay sober, but I feel like my highs will never be as high, no pun intended. I dunno. I know I'm not in danger of drinking tonight. But I'm getting worried. It's not like anything happened today. Nothing big, nothing stressful, nothing abnormal. But I feel more in danger than I have when actual big stuff or stressful stuff was going on. Because then I knew it would be a trick. But what if I just a drink because I'm tired of not drinking, or because I'm at a baseball game and their beer and hot dogs go really well together? I feel like I'm on the verge of wanting to be self-destructive and I don't know why. Because I can't hack being a wife and a homeowner and probably future mother? Because I'm bored with life? Because deep down I'm still angry or hurt about things in my past and I need an outlet? I don't know. I feel like I've hashed out all the things in my past that could cause deep-seated unrest. Sigh. Yet another novel by this girl. It felt good typing and thinking it out. I know journaling helps for a lot of people but I think this is better because I feel like I'm telling someone as opposed to writing it in a journal that no one will ever read. I'm not looking for much of a response, just nice to know someone cares enough to read it is nice. I always feel so dramatic trying to talk to my husband or my mother or a friend about deep stuff. So sorry I'm so all over the place, sometimes really responding to individuals, and sometimes just evacuating my own heart and head into type. I don't even know how to end this post.
A little melancholy on my 60th day. Google "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perri and imagine me singing it to alcohol. In fact, I don't know if this works, but Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts (Official Music Video) - YouTube It just came on the radio on my way home from work and just struck a chord. I'm proud of myself for not drinking for 60 days. I have gotten through a few events sober that I used to use as excuses for delaying stopping drinking. "I can't quit yet, how will I get through buying a house, moving, so-and-so's wedding?" I'm beyond some of the times that I was worried about when I first started this journey. Some went better than expected. Some just plain sucked. I tried so hard to look at this as doing something fantastic for my mind, my body, my marriage, my family, my future. Instead of being unique for being the drunk girl, I looked at this as becoming unique for being the non-drinker. It worked for awhile. My AV was easy to recognize and I was so mad at it for controlling me for so long that I don't think I had many edge-of-my-seat minute-by-minute cravings. But I think my AV has smartened up to my keen sense and is trying other tactics. It is making 60 days sound like the end of the experiment. It says, "You had no slips in 60 days. And I know you don't even really want to drink right now, but how about the next time you really want a drink, just go for it. It is tiring always being so vigilant about staying sober. There's no tape to play through. You realized you were getting crazy, it scared you, you proved you can stop altogether, so I think you'll be just fine from now on." It's already writing my farewell post to you all, "Guys, I'm going back out. Thanks for everything. I gotta take this risk and see for myself if I really have just been over-reacting." I just hate to think I'll never have the confidence I had while drinking, and therefore never some of the more fun times I had while drinking. Like I get that my lows will never be as low if I stay sober, but I feel like my highs will never be as high, no pun intended. I dunno. I know I'm not in danger of drinking tonight. But I'm getting worried. It's not like anything happened today. Nothing big, nothing stressful, nothing abnormal. But I feel more in danger than I have when actual big stuff or stressful stuff was going on. Because then I knew it would be a trick. But what if I just a drink because I'm tired of not drinking, or because I'm at a baseball game and their beer and hot dogs go really well together? I feel like I'm on the verge of wanting to be self-destructive and I don't know why. Because I can't hack being a wife and a homeowner and probably future mother? Because I'm bored with life? Because deep down I'm still angry or hurt about things in my past and I need an outlet? I don't know. I feel like I've hashed out all the things in my past that could cause deep-seated unrest. Sigh. Yet another novel by this girl. It felt good typing and thinking it out. I know journaling helps for a lot of people but I think this is better because I feel like I'm telling someone as opposed to writing it in a journal that no one will ever read. I'm not looking for much of a response, just nice to know someone cares enough to read it is nice. I always feel so dramatic trying to talk to my husband or my mother or a friend about deep stuff. So sorry I'm so all over the place, sometimes really responding to individuals, and sometimes just evacuating my own heart and head into type. I don't even know how to end this post.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,476
I think it's natural to think 'what ifs' and the thought of no alcohol again - the thought of being different - can be scary as heck.
The addictive part of us will use that for sure.
If it helps OLL - I used to think all those things - maybe it's just a phase, maybe I'm just self medicating, maybe I'm better at control now - I've been sober for a while, maybe I just over reacted....
The truth was everytime I went back, it was the same.
The real truth is that alcohol and I have a toxic relationship - that will never change, and I'm sorry - but I doubt it will change for anyone else in this thread either.
There's a wonderful life out there for us when we;re sober - I've accomplished so much in the last five years, and I feel like I'm really authentically *me* again...I can look myself in the face in the mirror and not look away, and I look forward to tomorrow, next week, next year, and me hitting 80 one day
I think that's worth me not having that beer with the hot dog...beside I reckon root beer or Coke goes just as well
Keep busting the lies OLL
D
The addictive part of us will use that for sure.
If it helps OLL - I used to think all those things - maybe it's just a phase, maybe I'm just self medicating, maybe I'm better at control now - I've been sober for a while, maybe I just over reacted....
The truth was everytime I went back, it was the same.
The real truth is that alcohol and I have a toxic relationship - that will never change, and I'm sorry - but I doubt it will change for anyone else in this thread either.
There's a wonderful life out there for us when we;re sober - I've accomplished so much in the last five years, and I feel like I'm really authentically *me* again...I can look myself in the face in the mirror and not look away, and I look forward to tomorrow, next week, next year, and me hitting 80 one day
I think that's worth me not having that beer with the hot dog...beside I reckon root beer or Coke goes just as well
Keep busting the lies OLL
D
Sober Mammoth!
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,086
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR 60 DAYS MILESTONE, ONELESS!!!
In honor of your 60 Days, Wilma Flintstone and I are going to help out and give you the day off from cleaning your new house.
elephantvacuum.jpg
All the best to you on your milestone, OneLess, and thanks for the cool video link. Please stay strong and close with us on your sober journey. There are many times when I've felt that it was okay to go back to drinking after having proven temporary abstinence to myself after my first sober stretch and then dialing down to weekends "only." What inevitably and consistently occurs is that one drink leads to another, and another, and then the whole bottle is gone before I think I'm ready to stop the self-punishment. Waking up feeling like crap every single time and feeling nauseous is not worth picking up that first drink -- ever. The effects are far-reaching beyond that initial hangover, and I see that now (again) that I'm finally (again!) returning to clarity, calm, and better health. It's not easy for anyone in our early days of sobriety, but please stay the course because the payoff to yourself and those you love is so very worth it. Love and hugs to you!
In honor of your 60 Days, Wilma Flintstone and I are going to help out and give you the day off from cleaning your new house.
elephantvacuum.jpg
All the best to you on your milestone, OneLess, and thanks for the cool video link. Please stay strong and close with us on your sober journey. There are many times when I've felt that it was okay to go back to drinking after having proven temporary abstinence to myself after my first sober stretch and then dialing down to weekends "only." What inevitably and consistently occurs is that one drink leads to another, and another, and then the whole bottle is gone before I think I'm ready to stop the self-punishment. Waking up feeling like crap every single time and feeling nauseous is not worth picking up that first drink -- ever. The effects are far-reaching beyond that initial hangover, and I see that now (again) that I'm finally (again!) returning to clarity, calm, and better health. It's not easy for anyone in our early days of sobriety, but please stay the course because the payoff to yourself and those you love is so very worth it. Love and hugs to you!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,424
French!! Such a funny and cute picture and congratulations message! Thank you for that and for your kind encouragement. I can see that I am reaching out right now and the reward of you guys sending these thoughtful messages is just what my soul needed right now. Thank you again. I'm pulling me up by my boot straps as we speak.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: ohio
Posts: 3,615
You Guys Look Like Fun!
Hi,
I just joined soberrecovery last night, and (was it D?) a great suggestion was to join a crew with similar sober time. I'm class of May, baaarrreeeely. May 30. Love the idea of chatting with people who are in a similar spot, especially chronologically. My biggest problem is STAYING sober once i finally get myself out of the foggy, remorseful, ugly days of very early sobriety.
Is it cool if i hang out with you guys a while and we help keep each other sober a (hopefully long) while longer?
I just joined soberrecovery last night, and (was it D?) a great suggestion was to join a crew with similar sober time. I'm class of May, baaarrreeeely. May 30. Love the idea of chatting with people who are in a similar spot, especially chronologically. My biggest problem is STAYING sober once i finally get myself out of the foggy, remorseful, ugly days of very early sobriety.
Is it cool if i hang out with you guys a while and we help keep each other sober a (hopefully long) while longer?
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