I think it's natural to think 'what ifs' and the thought of no alcohol again - the thought of being different - can be scary as heck.
The addictive part of us will use that for sure.
If it helps OLL - I used to think all those things - maybe it's just a phase, maybe I'm just self medicating, maybe I'm better at control now - I've been sober for a while, maybe I just over reacted....
The truth was everytime I went back, it was the same.
The real truth is that alcohol and I have a toxic relationship - that will never change, and I'm sorry - but I doubt it will change for anyone else in this thread either.
There's a wonderful life out there for us when we;re sober - I've accomplished so much in the last five years, and I feel like I'm really authentically *me* again...I can look myself in the face in the mirror and not look away, and I look forward to tomorrow, next week, next year, and me hitting 80 one day
I think that's worth me not having that beer with the hot dog...beside I reckon root beer or Coke goes just as well
Keep busting the lies OLL
D