Class Of October 2011 pt 3
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
Hey everyone! Just checking in. I worked at my part time job last night until 2am, came home and tried to get some sleep. Got up early to go to church and just got home. I think a nap is in order today!
I did my daily walking yesterday to the tune of about 4 miles, so I might give my muscles a rest today. I was a regular walker even when I was drinking. It was something that made me feel "normal". If I walked every day, regardless of the amount of beer I'd had the night before, in my mind I didn't have a problem with alcohol. You know what I mean? Of course you do!
Other than a nap, I don't have any other plans for today. I do know that I won't drink today! And I hope neither of you do either. Sobriety feels too good. Happy Sunday!
I did my daily walking yesterday to the tune of about 4 miles, so I might give my muscles a rest today. I was a regular walker even when I was drinking. It was something that made me feel "normal". If I walked every day, regardless of the amount of beer I'd had the night before, in my mind I didn't have a problem with alcohol. You know what I mean? Of course you do!
Other than a nap, I don't have any other plans for today. I do know that I won't drink today! And I hope neither of you do either. Sobriety feels too good. Happy Sunday!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
goalofsobriety, way to go on staying in and averting the craving! I can definitely identify with you on the craving for your usual social outlet. When I have been getting cravings and feeling upset over it, it's because I'm mad that I can't enjoy social situations in the same way that I used to. When I get through the craving (usually remembering HALT is what helps), I remember that I am just not used to doing other things and that I have to change my routine because my previous routine was not working. Isn't it nice to wake up without feeling guilty and panicking about the night before?
Tanja, thanks so much for posting the daily meditation. I, too, always hid in my room. I was an overachiever in an attempt to get praise, but the praise was hardly ever there---so I never gained the self-esteem and confidence I needed. Instead, I ended up with depression and anxiety. Because I never felt like I could safely assert myself anyway, I never bothered to figure out who the "real me" was. A big part of my drinking was to get myself out of my shell so that I could be comfortable talking to people, but we all know how that turned out in the end. Now that I'm in my thirties, though, I'm having a blast figuring out who I am and developing that self-esteem. Once when I was meditating, I had this overwhelming feeling of self-acceptance, like I'd want to be friends with me. No joke, I started bawling because I had never felt like that before and it was amazing. A huge turning point. I wish everyone in the world could have that feeling, and I especially hope that all of my Sobertober friends get to experience it.
By the way, I hope the dogs all chill out! I can't even imagine how stressful it must be taking care of half a dozen dogs and yourself.
I was going to take my dog for a long walk, but a cold wind blew in and now it's overcast and looking like it's going to rain. So instead I am sitting here with my second cup of coffee, all my favorite candles burning, and some good music on while my dog snoozes in his favorite chair. I'm grateful that I get to be cozy at home on this Sunday, and I'm grateful for every single one of the Sobertobers.
Tanja, thanks so much for posting the daily meditation. I, too, always hid in my room. I was an overachiever in an attempt to get praise, but the praise was hardly ever there---so I never gained the self-esteem and confidence I needed. Instead, I ended up with depression and anxiety. Because I never felt like I could safely assert myself anyway, I never bothered to figure out who the "real me" was. A big part of my drinking was to get myself out of my shell so that I could be comfortable talking to people, but we all know how that turned out in the end. Now that I'm in my thirties, though, I'm having a blast figuring out who I am and developing that self-esteem. Once when I was meditating, I had this overwhelming feeling of self-acceptance, like I'd want to be friends with me. No joke, I started bawling because I had never felt like that before and it was amazing. A huge turning point. I wish everyone in the world could have that feeling, and I especially hope that all of my Sobertober friends get to experience it.
By the way, I hope the dogs all chill out! I can't even imagine how stressful it must be taking care of half a dozen dogs and yourself.
I was going to take my dog for a long walk, but a cold wind blew in and now it's overcast and looking like it's going to rain. So instead I am sitting here with my second cup of coffee, all my favorite candles burning, and some good music on while my dog snoozes in his favorite chair. I'm grateful that I get to be cozy at home on this Sunday, and I'm grateful for every single one of the Sobertobers.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
@Tanja thanks for sharing those great words.
@Sadsoul re: learning guitar. I've found so many great things on YouTube that I think I'll start there when I begin. As I mentioned I'm not a total blank slate when it comes to music, so I think that would be a fun way to learn and get better while also learning songs I'm interested in playing right off the bat.
Tried to go see Moneyball with a friend, but we ended up just hanging at her house watching silly TV shows and then decided to skip the 9 pm showing. Left her house around 10 and met up with some friends at a bar for an open mic night. The bartender there is a friend so I paid nothing for a tea and a sparkling water (except tip). The week before when I went to the costume party I spent all of $5. Pretty good feeling to be such a cheapskate
Today I'm going to take the dog for a long hike up the canyon and sit by the creek and journal a bit. Going to catch Moneyball tonight at 7. Need to squeeze in some grocery shopping, too, but mostly want to spend the day away from the computer and out of the house.
So, off I go! Have a great day every one!
@Sadsoul re: learning guitar. I've found so many great things on YouTube that I think I'll start there when I begin. As I mentioned I'm not a total blank slate when it comes to music, so I think that would be a fun way to learn and get better while also learning songs I'm interested in playing right off the bat.
Tried to go see Moneyball with a friend, but we ended up just hanging at her house watching silly TV shows and then decided to skip the 9 pm showing. Left her house around 10 and met up with some friends at a bar for an open mic night. The bartender there is a friend so I paid nothing for a tea and a sparkling water (except tip). The week before when I went to the costume party I spent all of $5. Pretty good feeling to be such a cheapskate
Today I'm going to take the dog for a long hike up the canyon and sit by the creek and journal a bit. Going to catch Moneyball tonight at 7. Need to squeeze in some grocery shopping, too, but mostly want to spend the day away from the computer and out of the house.
So, off I go! Have a great day every one!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
Hi guys, a great Sunday turned sour when I got into a horrid fight with my son but I have been angrily cleaning my way through all the feelings. I was so mad I was shaking. Ended up cleaning and straightening and tidying - - through all the emotion I still remembered I have to travel tomorrow - - and don't have the luxury of being able to fling myself into a full on tantrum / drama/ crying / journaling/why me / etc. pity party extraordinaire.
Instead I cleaned, came online and caught up on everyone's posts, and was looking to see if Boozefree posted, see whether you made it last night or not, BF? Either way we are here for you..and that goes for every single one of us!
Okay, back to work, lots to do! Hang in there everyone, all that coffee and movies and exercise all sound fantastic for today!!
Instead I cleaned, came online and caught up on everyone's posts, and was looking to see if Boozefree posted, see whether you made it last night or not, BF? Either way we are here for you..and that goes for every single one of us!
Okay, back to work, lots to do! Hang in there everyone, all that coffee and movies and exercise all sound fantastic for today!!
Argonaut
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Netherlands
Posts: 479
Hi all, checking in at day 23. Feeling bad from my benzo withdrawal, massive brain fog but I have to keep going.
Thanks for the link of Under the Influence. I come from a family of alcoholics, interesting to read how genetics can attribute to alcoholism.
I also read some stories in Friends and Family of Alcoholics section of SR. Heartbreaking what alcoholism does to the life of others
PS. Zuzia the dog doesn't have to go on a diet, she gained so much because she is a puppy and growing
Thanks for all your post Soberoctobers!
Thanks for the link of Under the Influence. I come from a family of alcoholics, interesting to read how genetics can attribute to alcoholism.
I also read some stories in Friends and Family of Alcoholics section of SR. Heartbreaking what alcoholism does to the life of others
PS. Zuzia the dog doesn't have to go on a diet, she gained so much because she is a puppy and growing
Thanks for all your post Soberoctobers!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
Ok, the nap didn't work out, so I'm going to the grocery store. Maybe I can cook an early dinner and go to bed extra early tonight. I'm feeling good...no urge to drink at all.
honeypie, how old is your son? I have a 15 year old and he can be a handful at times!
honeypie, how old is your son? I have a 15 year old and he can be a handful at times!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: springfield, va
Posts: 1,385
Boozefee, sorry that happened. I know when I had my relapse, I did post seeking help. But, sometimes the urge is so overwhelming that you cannot even hardly follow sound advice. It's good to know, your here and not giving up the good fight! Seethroughblue - After this week is over - I would like to schedule a massage. I need to be on high alert. I don't want that stupid addictive voice talking to me. I need to review the constructive (relapse preventive) thinking list. I should also probably post it to my bathroom mirror. When I hit 30 days (I think Goodcheer is close) I would like to really find a way to reward myself. There is a good list of "things to do" on the recovery forum. Geralt - hang in there. You are doing so well. It's amazing that you are conquering two addictions at one time.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 601
Good evening Sobertobers. I'm away with work for a couple of days and won't be back till late Tuesday night and can't post till then. I'll be staying in a hotel where I usually stay. In the past I always timed my drive to arrive about 5 o'clock then get straight into the wine and in bed by 9pm so as to be well rested and clear of blood-level alcohol to drive to the meeting at 9:30am (Clever, eh?).
Tomorrow, I'll still arrive around 5 but will go for an hour run and then dinner and a long bath after before bed. Not unduly concerned, but I will be on my guard.
Best wishes to all - catch up Tuesday (Which will be my 30 days!). Hopefully... there but for the grace of God... Too many good people slipped lately to take it for granted.
Tomorrow, I'll still arrive around 5 but will go for an hour run and then dinner and a long bath after before bed. Not unduly concerned, but I will be on my guard.
Best wishes to all - catch up Tuesday (Which will be my 30 days!). Hopefully... there but for the grace of God... Too many good people slipped lately to take it for granted.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 176
BoozeFree...how are you feeling? thinking of you and hoping you are ok. we are here for you.
General...wishing you a great trip. sounds like you have a good thorough plan for your evening tomorrow. safe travels.
Here in the northeastern usa it is super dark already, after daylight savings. Hibernation season has begun. The dark days of winter make me crave red wine in a big way. Here's hoping we can find new ways of keeping warm and cozy this winter.
I am going to a meeting tonight, grateful that I can as I need to focus on my sobriety.
Peace and strength to all.
General...wishing you a great trip. sounds like you have a good thorough plan for your evening tomorrow. safe travels.
Here in the northeastern usa it is super dark already, after daylight savings. Hibernation season has begun. The dark days of winter make me crave red wine in a big way. Here's hoping we can find new ways of keeping warm and cozy this winter.
I am going to a meeting tonight, grateful that I can as I need to focus on my sobriety.
Peace and strength to all.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,138
Boozefree sorry you slipped. Don't beat yourself up too much... just try to learn from it and keep on moving.
Someone mentioned recently (either on this thread or another one) that when they had slipped they had made the decision hours before, or at least hours before had allowed the thought of "I might drink tonight" to lodge in their head. Upon reflection I think that was true for me on Thursday. I should have batted that thought back way earlier... instead I let it float around for hours, gaining strength.
Refocusing on mindfulness here, with lesson learned the hard way....
Someone mentioned recently (either on this thread or another one) that when they had slipped they had made the decision hours before, or at least hours before had allowed the thought of "I might drink tonight" to lodge in their head. Upon reflection I think that was true for me on Thursday. I should have batted that thought back way earlier... instead I let it float around for hours, gaining strength.
Refocusing on mindfulness here, with lesson learned the hard way....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 182
Keithurbanfan...ha, mine is fifteen too. I cannot believe that the cute, gap toothed little sweetie who was mama's boy, who cuddled with me and played frisbee with me and spent all these years by my side as my great little guy...has evolved into...A TOTAL JERK!!! Okay not all the time but, whew. What are your thoughts, KUF?
As for our fight today... I am not going to go into details but suffice it to say, I hate Facebook as a parent much more than just as a person. I'm his FB friend (quietly...would never, never post or anything like that) I just try to surreptitiously check out his wall to find out who he is hanging around with and what the party was like, and etc and I invariably get upset or concerned and when I mention it, I am charged with "Control Freak" when I am trying to just be a good parent. I hate, hate hate Facebook, I think it is the freaking devil. Kids kill themselves over it, couples obsess over it, singletons cry over it...as if we all didn't have a hard enough time as human beings.
Mark Zuckerberg, I do not like you!!
Ahem. Anyway, I am off to La la land tomorrow, wish me luck, I will check in!
Boozefree - what can I say - I tried?! Sorry you caved. Maybe it is finally time for you to go to AA and get a sponsor and get names you can call. They will give you names and numbers. That way you can call if you are about to drink and someone will help you. Unless of course, you aren't ready yet. If you are not ready then it won't work until you are.
As for our fight today... I am not going to go into details but suffice it to say, I hate Facebook as a parent much more than just as a person. I'm his FB friend (quietly...would never, never post or anything like that) I just try to surreptitiously check out his wall to find out who he is hanging around with and what the party was like, and etc and I invariably get upset or concerned and when I mention it, I am charged with "Control Freak" when I am trying to just be a good parent. I hate, hate hate Facebook, I think it is the freaking devil. Kids kill themselves over it, couples obsess over it, singletons cry over it...as if we all didn't have a hard enough time as human beings.
Mark Zuckerberg, I do not like you!!
Ahem. Anyway, I am off to La la land tomorrow, wish me luck, I will check in!
Boozefree - what can I say - I tried?! Sorry you caved. Maybe it is finally time for you to go to AA and get a sponsor and get names you can call. They will give you names and numbers. That way you can call if you are about to drink and someone will help you. Unless of course, you aren't ready yet. If you are not ready then it won't work until you are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 92
Good evening all,
I'm about to hit the hay but wanted to check in here and read what everyone is up to! I hope my post doesn't sound too generic but I'm really spent and I have been trying to read posts throughout the day on my Iphone because my toddler and future step children demand my attention ALL DAY. I'm really trying to get my balancing act together but these kids wake up at 5 a.m. (they didn't get the memo about the clocks turning back) and they go non-stop all day. Okay wah wah wah, enough. I'm in kind of a fowl mood. Sorry!
BF - I'm thinking of you. You did really awesome this past week and know that you can do it again! We are all here for you as you are here for us. xo
Have a safe and sober trip for those who are travelling out of town. Can't wait to read your post when you return.
Tanja, I agree with everyone that you will deserve a spa day or something after you return those high maintenance dogs. Maybe we can make a trade, my kids for your dogs hahah. I guarentee the bags under out eyes will remain ;-) xo
Good luck for all of you with teenagers and dogs!
nvrbeentospain - I had a vivid dream that I was at a bookstore and found a book titled "Never Been to Spain" and I bought it! LOL The dream was so real that I looked for the book on my nightstand.
Everyone else, I hope you all have a pleasant night and wake up happy and hanover-free tomorrow.
Oh yes, before I go I wanted to mention something to all of you and see if you have an experience or feedback. Maybe I'm just nuts for this to even be in my thoughts but... I have been tapering off of celexa (for depression) for almost 3 weeks now. Today is day 15 for me with no wine and I realized that this is the first time that I have tried quitting wine that I haven't experience any cravings whatsoever. I hardly even think about wine and really could care less that there is beer in the fridge. Has anyone heard of a connection between alcohol addiction and SSRI's? I'm going to do some research on this topic tomorrow when I have more energy. I have a doctor's appoinment coming up and would love to ask but I don't share my drinking issues with ANYONE. I would love to know if anyone has any personal experience with this.
Okay, Octsobers, I'm turning in but wanted to thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your helpful, funny, insightful posts. You guys are the best!
Night!
I'm about to hit the hay but wanted to check in here and read what everyone is up to! I hope my post doesn't sound too generic but I'm really spent and I have been trying to read posts throughout the day on my Iphone because my toddler and future step children demand my attention ALL DAY. I'm really trying to get my balancing act together but these kids wake up at 5 a.m. (they didn't get the memo about the clocks turning back) and they go non-stop all day. Okay wah wah wah, enough. I'm in kind of a fowl mood. Sorry!
BF - I'm thinking of you. You did really awesome this past week and know that you can do it again! We are all here for you as you are here for us. xo
Have a safe and sober trip for those who are travelling out of town. Can't wait to read your post when you return.
Tanja, I agree with everyone that you will deserve a spa day or something after you return those high maintenance dogs. Maybe we can make a trade, my kids for your dogs hahah. I guarentee the bags under out eyes will remain ;-) xo
Good luck for all of you with teenagers and dogs!
nvrbeentospain - I had a vivid dream that I was at a bookstore and found a book titled "Never Been to Spain" and I bought it! LOL The dream was so real that I looked for the book on my nightstand.
Everyone else, I hope you all have a pleasant night and wake up happy and hanover-free tomorrow.
Oh yes, before I go I wanted to mention something to all of you and see if you have an experience or feedback. Maybe I'm just nuts for this to even be in my thoughts but... I have been tapering off of celexa (for depression) for almost 3 weeks now. Today is day 15 for me with no wine and I realized that this is the first time that I have tried quitting wine that I haven't experience any cravings whatsoever. I hardly even think about wine and really could care less that there is beer in the fridge. Has anyone heard of a connection between alcohol addiction and SSRI's? I'm going to do some research on this topic tomorrow when I have more energy. I have a doctor's appoinment coming up and would love to ask but I don't share my drinking issues with ANYONE. I would love to know if anyone has any personal experience with this.
Okay, Octsobers, I'm turning in but wanted to thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your helpful, funny, insightful posts. You guys are the best!
Night!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 429
Iwantmeback, I take an SSRI (Lexapro) but don't really know anything about a connection between alcohol addiction and SSRIs. In my experience, the drinking came way before the SSRI and I think taking the SSRI is helping me quit. It just seems like the meds help keep my mood more stable, so I'm not quite freaking out about quitting as much as I'd probably be otherwise. I have only had one really bad craving (and a few other small ones) since I quit just over a month ago. On the other hand, my SSRI is different from yours and we could process alcohol completely differently. It's a good question, and I'd be interested to hear anything else related to this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: NY
Posts: 176
Good night, Octobers. I went to a great little meeting tonight. The subject was hopelessness and hope...when have you felt hopeless and what made you feel hope? A small group so each had a chance to share. I realize i felt hopeless just one month ago. I am at 28 days sober now. I have gained so much hope in one month. My daughters seem happier, smiling more, and coming to talk with me more, so happy that i want to go out and do things with them now. (Now that i am not in a rush to get home to my bottle of wine...ugh, guilt over that.) I also feel hope when i wake up each morning feeling healthy, no hangover, much more restful sleep. I wake feeling physically so healthy, no matter what thoughts are on my mind. But i feel more optimistic when i wake. I try to remember a prayer of gratitude for this day and for my sobriety each morning. So even though it has been so hard, my life has changed dramatically in one month.
Peace and strength to all. Rest well.
Peace and strength to all. Rest well.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
I've seen threads here from time to time on SSRIs and drinking - one member in particular used to post about this a lot but he may have deleted his contributions because I can't find them.
these are the only threads I can find for now
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cbt-what.html
I have no personal experience though - my SSRI days predated the worst of my drinking.
D
these are the only threads I can find for now
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cbt-what.html
I have no personal experience though - my SSRI days predated the worst of my drinking.
D
Bound and Determined
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 203
Hello again everyone. I hope everyone had a really good weekend, and to anyone who joined in over the weekend...welcome and I hope you are doing well.
So, don't believe that saying "It never rains in California"....its tourist PR. We planned a sunny weekend out in Palm Springs and it rained for the first time in 700 years. Alaskasunshine, I was planning to send some sunny thoughts your way over the weekend...the last post I read here prior to the weekend was yours and you said that Palm Springs sounded great but you were also considering going to the store for wine. I haven't read the posts, whatever the outcome, staying the course, or a bump in the road I hope you are still here.
The rain wasn't in the plans and I wasn't prepared. Unfortuantely we were indoors due to the weather. Instead of seeking a movie or some alternative I sadly had to hear a running dialouge of my deficits for several days. The planned hike in the sun would have been preferable.
I made it until tonight and then I faltered. I did make the run to the store for a bottle of wine. I guess I was afraid I was going to put the man out of business by my absence. Its too familar. So this is not a run on drunk post. I can handle far more than a singular bottle of wine :-) yet I've consumed it. I guess I'm still ill prepared if a contigency plan is in need in case there is not perpetual sunshine.
But this is an honest group, which is why I came back as I really have enjoyed the two weeks of interaction it truely helped me stay sober. I'd really like to stick with you all I know from October if I may instead of moving into the November group. Tomorrow is a new day. Its just I've been here before and I always say this is the last time. Is it? I hope so.
I won't beat myself up too much, but try to wake up to a new day with hope as I do want to defeat this with all my heart. So Monday will be day one for me. Weirdly, despite all this my heart is still upbeat.
So, don't believe that saying "It never rains in California"....its tourist PR. We planned a sunny weekend out in Palm Springs and it rained for the first time in 700 years. Alaskasunshine, I was planning to send some sunny thoughts your way over the weekend...the last post I read here prior to the weekend was yours and you said that Palm Springs sounded great but you were also considering going to the store for wine. I haven't read the posts, whatever the outcome, staying the course, or a bump in the road I hope you are still here.
The rain wasn't in the plans and I wasn't prepared. Unfortuantely we were indoors due to the weather. Instead of seeking a movie or some alternative I sadly had to hear a running dialouge of my deficits for several days. The planned hike in the sun would have been preferable.
I made it until tonight and then I faltered. I did make the run to the store for a bottle of wine. I guess I was afraid I was going to put the man out of business by my absence. Its too familar. So this is not a run on drunk post. I can handle far more than a singular bottle of wine :-) yet I've consumed it. I guess I'm still ill prepared if a contigency plan is in need in case there is not perpetual sunshine.
But this is an honest group, which is why I came back as I really have enjoyed the two weeks of interaction it truely helped me stay sober. I'd really like to stick with you all I know from October if I may instead of moving into the November group. Tomorrow is a new day. Its just I've been here before and I always say this is the last time. Is it? I hope so.
I won't beat myself up too much, but try to wake up to a new day with hope as I do want to defeat this with all my heart. So Monday will be day one for me. Weirdly, despite all this my heart is still upbeat.
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