For Members with Less than 2 Weeks Part 8
....Glad to see you again
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 162
Hi all - and welcome to Ruch - hope everyone is OK?
Day 25 for me and feeling OK. Had a family celebration last night where wine was offered - but I found it qute easy just to have soft drinks, so I was pleased about that. This time is different for me - although I have a few days under my belt, I am protecting myself by recognising that I am VERY early on in my sobriety and need to be mindful that I am on a long term journey not just a few days/weeks of "being good".
The more I read about Buddhist thinking the more I find it helps. The principles of compassion for others and discipline of the mind are strong anchors. From what I have read on here, they also seem to echo a lot of AA type approaches, as well as religious thinking from various denomniations. I think I have realised that a "spiritual" path of some sort is important for all recovering alcoholics - although it probably doesn't matter exactly what this is. The key thing is to find a framework that supports your own self improvement and development...well, that's what I reckon anyway.
DB
Day 25 for me and feeling OK. Had a family celebration last night where wine was offered - but I found it qute easy just to have soft drinks, so I was pleased about that. This time is different for me - although I have a few days under my belt, I am protecting myself by recognising that I am VERY early on in my sobriety and need to be mindful that I am on a long term journey not just a few days/weeks of "being good".
The more I read about Buddhist thinking the more I find it helps. The principles of compassion for others and discipline of the mind are strong anchors. From what I have read on here, they also seem to echo a lot of AA type approaches, as well as religious thinking from various denomniations. I think I have realised that a "spiritual" path of some sort is important for all recovering alcoholics - although it probably doesn't matter exactly what this is. The key thing is to find a framework that supports your own self improvement and development...well, that's what I reckon anyway.
DB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
Hi, I have been lurking for the last few weeks, but now I am back. I quit for a month last September and and one glass of wine in October....and you know how the story goes. Anyway, I think I am going to get active posting today and get myself together.
Day 1 for me!
Day 1 for me!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi Eclipse and welcome back! I remember you from last spring/summer? Hang tough. This is not easy, by any means, but doable. Definitely doable. Just get your feet underneath you and focus on the day. We're all here to help!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
I just love the support here. Thanks so much. So even after one day of not drinking this is what I accomplished: got the car washed and vacuumed and all the cr*p out of it (I have 4 kids) cleaned the kitchen really good, including mopping the floors, ran kids around to all their extracurricular activities, visited an eldery aunt who lives alone. All this after work.
Day 2 here I come. I wish the weather was better, but since today is the first day of spring....it can only get better!
Day 2 here I come. I wish the weather was better, but since today is the first day of spring....it can only get better!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hello Everyone....
I've had another day of productive, pleasant recovery.
AA...SR...Family...Friends...Food and Shopping.
Dedicating the next few hours to....
TV...Ice Cream and a Nap.
I hope y'all enjoyed your day too.
Rock on .....:ghug
I've had another day of productive, pleasant recovery.
AA...SR...Family...Friends...Food and Shopping.
Dedicating the next few hours to....
TV...Ice Cream and a Nap.
I hope y'all enjoyed your day too.
Rock on .....:ghug
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi everyone!
Whew, it was a tough week. We have had our 2 girls (20 and 23) here for the week and I think if they weren't leaving tomorrow, I would jump off a ledge! I grew up as the only girl with 2 older brothers, so I have no basis of understanding how 2 same sex siblings can be so competitive! When they are little, I can understand, BUT now? Each of them b@@#ched to me endlessly about the other. I would say nothing or, on occasion, "just let it go", or rarely "you are 20 and 23, work it out amongst yourselves". But they just kept at it and at it and at it....
I could have so drank tonight. Really. I was close, too close. But I thought to myself "What will that accomplish?" It won't change anything. It will make it worse. Their anger towards each other will focus and explode on me. It's their last night. Don't ruin it, by losing it. Grit your teeth and you'll make it. Funnily enough, at dinner, everyone was drinking BUT me and tensions seemed to lessen. If it had been me, I would have probably lashed out with all the things I have been thinking (but not saying) all week and all hell would have broken loose. Then tomorrow I would have been so furious with myself and Everyone would have been furious with me. Ugh, it would have been awful.
Months ago, I would have drank. Tonight, thank God, I thought it through and made it through. I did need to vent though and I appreciate all of your cyber ears more than I can say.
But here's where I am confused. I'm supposed to say what I think in order not to bottle things up or I will drink. But I tried to say stuff in a nice way (and not take sides, which would have been disastrous). But it didn't work. I know that I am responsible only for me and I am responsible for the effort, not the outcome. Why do I still feel frustrated? Why, when I drink, do I get angry? Why when other people drink, do they get happy?
I don't think I'll ever understand, but I will keep on going tomorrow, grateful for another day of reprieve.
Thank for listening.
Whew, it was a tough week. We have had our 2 girls (20 and 23) here for the week and I think if they weren't leaving tomorrow, I would jump off a ledge! I grew up as the only girl with 2 older brothers, so I have no basis of understanding how 2 same sex siblings can be so competitive! When they are little, I can understand, BUT now? Each of them b@@#ched to me endlessly about the other. I would say nothing or, on occasion, "just let it go", or rarely "you are 20 and 23, work it out amongst yourselves". But they just kept at it and at it and at it....
I could have so drank tonight. Really. I was close, too close. But I thought to myself "What will that accomplish?" It won't change anything. It will make it worse. Their anger towards each other will focus and explode on me. It's their last night. Don't ruin it, by losing it. Grit your teeth and you'll make it. Funnily enough, at dinner, everyone was drinking BUT me and tensions seemed to lessen. If it had been me, I would have probably lashed out with all the things I have been thinking (but not saying) all week and all hell would have broken loose. Then tomorrow I would have been so furious with myself and Everyone would have been furious with me. Ugh, it would have been awful.
Months ago, I would have drank. Tonight, thank God, I thought it through and made it through. I did need to vent though and I appreciate all of your cyber ears more than I can say.
But here's where I am confused. I'm supposed to say what I think in order not to bottle things up or I will drink. But I tried to say stuff in a nice way (and not take sides, which would have been disastrous). But it didn't work. I know that I am responsible only for me and I am responsible for the effort, not the outcome. Why do I still feel frustrated? Why, when I drink, do I get angry? Why when other people drink, do they get happy?
I don't think I'll ever understand, but I will keep on going tomorrow, grateful for another day of reprieve.
Thank for listening.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I know that I am responsible only for me and I am responsible for the effort, not the outcome
But.....you did a good job and now ...Let It Go.
The Serenity Prayer calms be down.
Why, when I drink, do I get angry? Why when other people drink, do they get happy?
Then I became...not angry...but a depressed crying sodden blob.
Sooo
I consider addiction made me sooo sad.
I'm so glad you continued to win during their visit.
Kudoos to you HS.....:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Thanks Carol, for the words of wisdom and sympathy. I'm away for the winter and my AA groups with which I would have shared all this tension and inner confusion. So I rely on SR to keep me right sized. I hope that this isn't a bad thing to say but, many times I have logged on, feeling a little too close for comfort, and read about someone who has given in and posted, at the very least, how horrible they felt, emotionally and physically, after the fact and at worst, did or said something so dire that it changed their lives (ie DUI, split with SO). Once I read something like that, I think, Holy Cow, I don't want to feel that way again and I certainly don't want to do anything from which there is no return. So, I don't cave and, after I get through the rough spot, am extremely grateful that I didn't. You are so right, when you say cravings are fairly momentary. I am getting better at thinking it through and also, when hit with one, trying to pinpoint the event, situation or feeling that is behind the craving, acknowledge it and try to deal with THAT. One immutable fact is that I have NEVER woken up after a relapse and said "wow, THAT was a good idea!".
Thank you, again, for a little cyber hand holding :ghug3
Thank you, again, for a little cyber hand holding :ghug3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Hampshire UK
Posts: 162
Hi - I have certainly had my worst moments of bad temper when I have been drunk - and can recall several conversations that I am ashamed of now. I can also remember good feelings when drunk, when I had lots of ideas and happiness...BUT...looking back these feelings only ever lasted for an hour or two and had no place in reality since I was too drunk to act on any of them!!
Day 28 here. During week 4 I have had 2 or 3 moments of strong "craving". Although, these haven't really been physical cravings as such, more of a psycological need to drink. In all cases, it has been at those moments when traditionally I would seek out alcohol as a mood enhancer ie. whenever I was feeling either very low or very high. As I enter my second month of sobriety I am really hoping that these difficult moments will get less and that I can focus more on other areas in my life that I want to improve.
Good luck to everyone
DB
Day 28 here. During week 4 I have had 2 or 3 moments of strong "craving". Although, these haven't really been physical cravings as such, more of a psycological need to drink. In all cases, it has been at those moments when traditionally I would seek out alcohol as a mood enhancer ie. whenever I was feeling either very low or very high. As I enter my second month of sobriety I am really hoping that these difficult moments will get less and that I can focus more on other areas in my life that I want to improve.
Good luck to everyone
DB
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