If this is the right thing, why does it feel so bad?
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I'm also glad that you checked in here, Redbud. I haven't mentioned this yet but my sister is a neuroscientist (PhD, not MD). I'm going to mention "single 2 mm T2 hyperintensity of the deep white matter" to her and ask her what she thinks of that.
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So this is some good news! Glad to hear it...yes, I too often wished I coould go back..I was grieving the loss of a "normal" ha! family situation...but I alllowed myself to be sad, work through it and move on...it still comes up sometimes..or even out sideways!But most of the time now, I am trying to enjoy little moments of where I am right now..sending you good Dr. vibes....
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Anaserene, wow, you come from a family of high achievers!! I am curious as to what your sister would say, so please let me know, even if it's something a mom might not want to hear. Nothing would shock me any more.
Thank you keepinon...you've been encouraging to me through this time.
Chino, thank you for your prayers. I wish we could pay for his appts. up front, that would make things alot easier! We just are not in the position to at this time.
I am still waiting to hear from the doctor. Although it's past the 24 hour mark, I used to work for physicians (I am a nurse, but haven't worked outside the home in several years, and I lived in a different state at the time, so don't have the connections here I would have had there). I know how busy they are, so have not given up hope!
Will keep y'all posted!
Thank you keepinon...you've been encouraging to me through this time.
Chino, thank you for your prayers. I wish we could pay for his appts. up front, that would make things alot easier! We just are not in the position to at this time.
I am still waiting to hear from the doctor. Although it's past the 24 hour mark, I used to work for physicians (I am a nurse, but haven't worked outside the home in several years, and I lived in a different state at the time, so don't have the connections here I would have had there). I know how busy they are, so have not given up hope!
Will keep y'all posted!
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Here is what my sis says about that part of the report you mentioned:
T2 is a type of MRI machine - the strength of the magnet they used..
the hyperintensity means the tissue was pathological in the deep white matter - indicating increased water retention and possibly damage/hemorrhage.
This probably doesn't help much but it's something.
T2 is a type of MRI machine - the strength of the magnet they used..
the hyperintensity means the tissue was pathological in the deep white matter - indicating increased water retention and possibly damage/hemorrhage.
This probably doesn't help much but it's something.
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Redbud..can I just say that nurses are the hardest working most selfless people out there..takes a special person to do that..the downside..codieville cuz you care so much!So just be sure you take care of yourself..nurses are notoriously bad at that!btw...do watch Nurse Jackie?
btw...do watch Nurse Jackie?
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Thanks so much Anasarene...that makes sense! From what I understand even a tiny hyperintensity can cause problems within the brain. Did your sister concur with that? Just wondering.
Keepinon, I haven't worked as a nurse for a while now. During our move we lost/forgot about my renewal paperwork. Didn't think about it until it was way too late to renew. So, would have to take the boards over again (hmmm....it's been 27 years!). Funny though, my first nursing job was on a head injury unit! My second was on an adolescent rehab (drugs and alcohol)/psych unit....years ago! I do know what you mean about "codieville".
Am wondering who nurse Jackie is???
Keepinon, I haven't worked as a nurse for a while now. During our move we lost/forgot about my renewal paperwork. Didn't think about it until it was way too late to renew. So, would have to take the boards over again (hmmm....it's been 27 years!). Funny though, my first nursing job was on a head injury unit! My second was on an adolescent rehab (drugs and alcohol)/psych unit....years ago! I do know what you mean about "codieville".
Am wondering who nurse Jackie is???
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Originally Posted by redbud 
Funny though, my first nursing job was on a head injury unit! My second was on an adolescent rehab (drugs and alcohol)/psych unit....years ago!
wishing you the best
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I now have a place to start. The doctor I spoke with last week sent me the name of a nearby doctor, and said he would consider seeing my son out of network, and consulting with the other doctor on the military aspect, if needed!
Now, to keep my son in a state of compliance until he can be seen! It varies day by day. And he can start out in a good mood then one little thing upsets him and he becomes angry and can stay angry all day. Or he can think his counselor is a good counselor one day and the next day he thinks he needs a new counselor. Then we have to convince him that to change counselors would be counterproductive.
I will call first thing Monday and hopefully make my son an appt.! This doctor said tell the other doctor he referred us. I will also pray that my son will agree to go, and be relatively cooperative.
He is suffering, and hopefully help is on the way!!
Now, to keep my son in a state of compliance until he can be seen! It varies day by day. And he can start out in a good mood then one little thing upsets him and he becomes angry and can stay angry all day. Or he can think his counselor is a good counselor one day and the next day he thinks he needs a new counselor. Then we have to convince him that to change counselors would be counterproductive.
I will call first thing Monday and hopefully make my son an appt.! This doctor said tell the other doctor he referred us. I will also pray that my son will agree to go, and be relatively cooperative.
He is suffering, and hopefully help is on the way!!
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Thank you! Actually the clinic thinks it's too low, and are planning on increasing it 5 mg. at a time! I'm not sure why.
The bedwetting has decreased over the past week, thankfully. I'm not sure about the cause of that either!! But, perhaps we shall find out!
The bedwetting has decreased over the past week, thankfully. I'm not sure about the cause of that either!! But, perhaps we shall find out!
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My son has an appointment with a neurologist next week! Hopefully it will not be difficult to get him to agree (I haven't told him yet).
He is upset today because our 11 year old golden retriever died unexpectedly this morning....he was my sons favorite dog, and the one he would lay on the floor with for hours. He would say, "I love Moses sooo much. If Moses was a girl I would marry him!".
He is upset today because our 11 year old golden retriever died unexpectedly this morning....he was my sons favorite dog, and the one he would lay on the floor with for hours. He would say, "I love Moses sooo much. If Moses was a girl I would marry him!".
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I am a little angry right now...I spoke to my sons counselor today about his upcoming neurological appointment, and she told me she can't talk to me any more because it's "triangulation". She agrees the appointment is important, but she will talk to me only in my sons presence. Her demeaner was different, and made me feel as if she perceives ME as the problem! (I was at family group, and when we were alone I asked her how much advance notice she thought I should give my son about the appointment).
For four years my son was gone...out of the home, on his own, and in the military. Then, without warning, everything changed. I have had to care for him as if he was a child, and some days it's practically "one on one" all day. It has changed our lives, the lives of his sisters, and MY life, drastically. Our family needs the help of the counselor in dealing with him, and need to be able to tell her if a big problem arises! Without OUR imput there is only HIS, and as I read in all of his military medical records, his "insight" and "judgment" are "impaired"! I know there are laws...privacy...all of that. But, up to this point I could call the counselor and tell her if something major was happening, and it helped her in counseling him. As well as it helped us to have her input! All I can think of is he is telling her things that make US seem to be the problem, as I have seen that type of behavior from him at home. He tends to try to "splinter" the family by talking behind our backs. He seems unaware of the consequenses of this behavior, and I have to repeatedly tell him not to do that as it only causes problems. For example, my 13 year old daughter is the emotional one, and will throw a fit by yelling about something. It passes quickly and it is over. Then my son will talk about it all day, and even ask her if she's going to throw another fit!
I guess it felt good to know we had that support, and now it feels like it's gone and I could cry. If the counselor would like she can take my son home and tend to him and fix him, and save him from his family.
There, now I have thrown MY fit!! Thanks for not giving up on me, all who have stuck with me through this. I am probably over reacting....it's been a stressful couple of days.
For four years my son was gone...out of the home, on his own, and in the military. Then, without warning, everything changed. I have had to care for him as if he was a child, and some days it's practically "one on one" all day. It has changed our lives, the lives of his sisters, and MY life, drastically. Our family needs the help of the counselor in dealing with him, and need to be able to tell her if a big problem arises! Without OUR imput there is only HIS, and as I read in all of his military medical records, his "insight" and "judgment" are "impaired"! I know there are laws...privacy...all of that. But, up to this point I could call the counselor and tell her if something major was happening, and it helped her in counseling him. As well as it helped us to have her input! All I can think of is he is telling her things that make US seem to be the problem, as I have seen that type of behavior from him at home. He tends to try to "splinter" the family by talking behind our backs. He seems unaware of the consequenses of this behavior, and I have to repeatedly tell him not to do that as it only causes problems. For example, my 13 year old daughter is the emotional one, and will throw a fit by yelling about something. It passes quickly and it is over. Then my son will talk about it all day, and even ask her if she's going to throw another fit!
I guess it felt good to know we had that support, and now it feels like it's gone and I could cry. If the counselor would like she can take my son home and tend to him and fix him, and save him from his family.
There, now I have thrown MY fit!! Thanks for not giving up on me, all who have stuck with me through this. I am probably over reacting....it's been a stressful couple of days.
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Things feel crazy at our house, and it's no ones fault. My son isn't "using" any more, and he is doing what was asked of him. But he is not able to interact appropriately with people, and doesn't understand why they get upset with him, which made for a tough day today. Tough for him, who got upset because he doesn't know why people are getting mad at him, and tough on us because we are just tired and frustrated.
A year ago if anyone told me this would happen to my son, I would never have believed it.
I'm sorry to continually post and have probably broken the record for the most whiney user of this site. But, does anyone have any suggestions for getting through this without our family falling apart? How do families cope with situations like this and survive?
A year ago if anyone told me this would happen to my son, I would never have believed it.
I'm sorry to continually post and have probably broken the record for the most whiney user of this site. But, does anyone have any suggestions for getting through this without our family falling apart? How do families cope with situations like this and survive?
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I honestly do not have any suggestions. I am amazed that y'all have managed so far, it has to be so hard to deal with.
As to you "have probably broken the record for the most whiney user of this site". roflmao nope far from it. Your number of posts is small compared to some of us. This is a good part of what this site is for. We want you to feel 'comfortable' coming here, not 'guilty' that you are taking up space.
You and your family are having a very rough time right now and all I can offer is that we are with you in spirit at all times.
As to this:
I am inclined to think that in going through her paperwork she found she does not have a 'signed release' from your son to give you information. Maybe talk gently with your son, explaining to him that this is just so you can help him, and see if you can get him to sign the release. Once that is signed I do believe the counselor will become open with you again.
I right now am literally 'drawing a blank' in how to help with the frustration. Maybe there is a subject that he is really really interested in and you could get him some books that might keep his attention on that subject?
I am sending out good thoughts and prayers for you and your whole family and have put y'all in the two prayer circles I belong to.
Love and hugs,
As to you "have probably broken the record for the most whiney user of this site". roflmao nope far from it. Your number of posts is small compared to some of us. This is a good part of what this site is for. We want you to feel 'comfortable' coming here, not 'guilty' that you are taking up space.
You and your family are having a very rough time right now and all I can offer is that we are with you in spirit at all times.
As to this:
I spoke to my sons counselor today about his upcoming neurological appointment, and she told me she can't talk to me any more because it's "triangulation". She agrees the appointment is important, but she will talk to me only in my sons presence. Her demeaner was different, and made me feel as if she perceives ME as the problem!
I right now am literally 'drawing a blank' in how to help with the frustration. Maybe there is a subject that he is really really interested in and you could get him some books that might keep his attention on that subject?
I am sending out good thoughts and prayers for you and your whole family and have put y'all in the two prayer circles I belong to.
Love and hugs,
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redbud, it was and is therapy, the steps, and this forum that have helped me make it through everything. I had multiple outlets when I was frustrated with my daughter, and I needed every one of them. I intellectually understood what she was dealing with (TBI's and her disease), but she didn't. She knew she was an addict and all that it entailed, but didn't want to accept that something else was wrong in her brain. It took a lot of clean time and therapy before she would.
I was always juggling how to help her while not enabling her, and how to take care of myself so I wouldn't direct my frustrations at her. I can't tell how many times I had to apologize to her
Everyone in my family has the same outlets but it's up to each individual to use them. My husband won't use any of the resources because, up until recently, he refused to admit he had a problem dealing with other people's issues.
I was always juggling how to help her while not enabling her, and how to take care of myself so I wouldn't direct my frustrations at her. I can't tell how many times I had to apologize to her
Everyone in my family has the same outlets but it's up to each individual to use them. My husband won't use any of the resources because, up until recently, he refused to admit he had a problem dealing with other people's issues.
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Laurie, thank you for the prayers. You could be right about the counselor, but I wonder because she didn't say she needed a release. She just said it was "triangulation", and she would only talk to me in his presence. My son has some paranoia about counseling and the process as a whole, as he is always afraid they are going to try to "put" him somewhere, and will say of the counselor, "She is up to something tricky". And our having him "committed" to the va psych ward in January didn't help with that paranoia, as when there is stress in the home he asks if we are going to call the magistrate on him.
I wish I could get him interested in something. He always had so many things he was intersted in, and never had trouble filling his time. Now he spends hours watching reality tv (he hated reality tv before, and only watched discovery or national geographic). He can't seem to stay focused on anything for long. I will try to help him find something he can do...as that is a point of contention in the house....him sitting in the living room watching tv, holding the dog (or hogging the dog, as the family says). It is sad. thanks again for your encouragement.
Chino, your strength is inspiring, and you are so right about using resources and outlets. I haven't been able to see my counselor in a while, as she has been out tending to a sick parent. I haven't been to our one weekly al-anon meeting in two weeks, due to schedule conflicts. I didn't go to church this morning as I stayed up late painting my daughters room and didn't want to scrub the paint out of my hair until I was finished! So, it's my fault that I've gotten to this point of frustration.
My husband, too, is not one to seek support. His frustration level is part of the stress in the house. He feels there is no progress, and is afraid this is a never ending situation. I can understand that, but do remind him that our son is not doing drugs and is attending his outpt. program. That is progress, and unfortunately there is no quick fix.
I hope and pray this upcoming appt, which I still have not told my son about, will be a starting point. I was thinking of faxing some information to the doctor in advance, as my son will not be forthcoming with information. Is that a good idea?
I do feel a little better this morning. Although the situation hasn't changed, I took some time to read a little al-anon literature, and should crack my Bible open as well!
Thank you again and again!
We
I wish I could get him interested in something. He always had so many things he was intersted in, and never had trouble filling his time. Now he spends hours watching reality tv (he hated reality tv before, and only watched discovery or national geographic). He can't seem to stay focused on anything for long. I will try to help him find something he can do...as that is a point of contention in the house....him sitting in the living room watching tv, holding the dog (or hogging the dog, as the family says). It is sad. thanks again for your encouragement.
Chino, your strength is inspiring, and you are so right about using resources and outlets. I haven't been able to see my counselor in a while, as she has been out tending to a sick parent. I haven't been to our one weekly al-anon meeting in two weeks, due to schedule conflicts. I didn't go to church this morning as I stayed up late painting my daughters room and didn't want to scrub the paint out of my hair until I was finished! So, it's my fault that I've gotten to this point of frustration.
My husband, too, is not one to seek support. His frustration level is part of the stress in the house. He feels there is no progress, and is afraid this is a never ending situation. I can understand that, but do remind him that our son is not doing drugs and is attending his outpt. program. That is progress, and unfortunately there is no quick fix.
I hope and pray this upcoming appt, which I still have not told my son about, will be a starting point. I was thinking of faxing some information to the doctor in advance, as my son will not be forthcoming with information. Is that a good idea?
I do feel a little better this morning. Although the situation hasn't changed, I took some time to read a little al-anon literature, and should crack my Bible open as well!
Thank you again and again!
We
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redbud,
i am sorry for your frustration dealing with medical people.
is your son going to a military hospital?
is he or has he applied for disability?
maybe going to a patient advocate at the hospital will help you and the medical people talk to each other.
does he have any representation? say the disabled veterans of america to help with his claim?
it is not right, and it is not fair for you to have your son come back with a traumatic brain injury and leave you holding the bag (empty).
you are strong and you can do this.
there is a lot of information online too. check the forums, there are thousands of veterans out there with the knowledge you need to help your son.
Beth
i am sorry for your frustration dealing with medical people.
is your son going to a military hospital?
is he or has he applied for disability?
maybe going to a patient advocate at the hospital will help you and the medical people talk to each other.
does he have any representation? say the disabled veterans of america to help with his claim?
it is not right, and it is not fair for you to have your son come back with a traumatic brain injury and leave you holding the bag (empty).
you are strong and you can do this.
there is a lot of information online too. check the forums, there are thousands of veterans out there with the knowledge you need to help your son.
Beth
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Beth, I have put calls into various veteran groups, but never heard back. I need to get back on the stick and keep trying. He does get some disability from the va, and will need to get that increased.
There are several things which worked against him in getting the correct diagnosis, one of which is his medical records were lost after SERE, which is where the injury occured. The other is that when he mentioned the injury to someone in the AF, and I'm not sure if it was a doctor or a supervisor, he was told to drop it because he could never prove anything. And when someone in authority tells you to "drop it" in the military, you drop it. So, he never mentioned it to anyone again. And in reading through his records they say that he never sustained an injury to his head, and when asked, he always told them no. (I know for a fact that he did, as he called me afterward and told me about it.)
The lost medical records would have really helped.
We are not going to a military hospital, yet. So far I haven't been impressed with their process. Although my son was not very cooperative with them either. I recall a couple of times waiting in their ER for hours, which is the procedure for being seen at the VA. There are many other people waiting as well. My son had his bag packed and was ready to be admitted to inpt treatment, but they turned him away. I was livid, and told the nice psychiatrist who could not speak english very well, my opinion.
I will look into a hospital adovocate, as I never knew there was such a thing. Are you referring to our local general hospital?
There are things I could do that I haven't succeeded at, and need to keep trying. I just get tired and give up at times. Thank you for your suggestions; I appreciate any input into this situation!!
There are several things which worked against him in getting the correct diagnosis, one of which is his medical records were lost after SERE, which is where the injury occured. The other is that when he mentioned the injury to someone in the AF, and I'm not sure if it was a doctor or a supervisor, he was told to drop it because he could never prove anything. And when someone in authority tells you to "drop it" in the military, you drop it. So, he never mentioned it to anyone again. And in reading through his records they say that he never sustained an injury to his head, and when asked, he always told them no. (I know for a fact that he did, as he called me afterward and told me about it.)
The lost medical records would have really helped.
We are not going to a military hospital, yet. So far I haven't been impressed with their process. Although my son was not very cooperative with them either. I recall a couple of times waiting in their ER for hours, which is the procedure for being seen at the VA. There are many other people waiting as well. My son had his bag packed and was ready to be admitted to inpt treatment, but they turned him away. I was livid, and told the nice psychiatrist who could not speak english very well, my opinion.
I will look into a hospital adovocate, as I never knew there was such a thing. Are you referring to our local general hospital?
There are things I could do that I haven't succeeded at, and need to keep trying. I just get tired and give up at times. Thank you for your suggestions; I appreciate any input into this situation!!
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