If this is the right thing, why does it feel so bad?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: foothills of north carolina
Posts: 76
Thanks chino. We are meeting with his new counselor in the morning to discuss options.
We knew when he moved out it would not work. He did not have anything in place that would be needed for him to succeed. The "vultures" quickly descended upon him before he even knew what hit him.
Over the weekend he was with me a bit, and was questioning their motives. He asked if I thought they were using him, and I said yes. He said that even if they are using him it felt good for the moment to feel to be a "part of something". But, he said, "it would be bad if I let them lead me in a bad way, right?". I said yes, things would get very bad.
Since then "they" will not leave his side. If he talks to me on the phone I can literally hear them whispering into his ear, telling him to hang up the phone.
I have called the methadone clinic, whom still have not tapered him off of methadone, even though he requested it. He tested positive for 5 drugs last friday, and they still dosed him. Finally this morning the receptionist put me through to the "counselor", after I told her it was a very serious situation. I asked the counselor their policy on dosing someone who failed a drug test, and she could not tell me. As you can imagine, I filled her in on the seriousness of the situation. I asked why they were refusing to taper my son off of methadone, and she said they were reluctant because they felt he would have a hard time and be high risk of relapse. First of all, that is not their call or decision. Second of all, HE HAS ALREADY RELAPSED! I asked if methadone increases intracranial pressure, and she said yes. I asked if people with head injury or seizures are supposed to take methadone, and she said no. I said that my son has both, and they had better taper him off of the methadone.
My sons disability check comes today, and his rent is due today. I will be guarding that mailbox (which is at the end of the road). The "vultures" are eagerly awaiting his check.
Am not sure what to do today. Should see if my son is still alive, and as my girls still need their mom, will spend some time with them.
I know so many of you have been through similar situations, or even worse. Don't feel I am competent enough in this realm to even post advice to anyone else, but welcome any words of wisdom from others.
We knew when he moved out it would not work. He did not have anything in place that would be needed for him to succeed. The "vultures" quickly descended upon him before he even knew what hit him.
Over the weekend he was with me a bit, and was questioning their motives. He asked if I thought they were using him, and I said yes. He said that even if they are using him it felt good for the moment to feel to be a "part of something". But, he said, "it would be bad if I let them lead me in a bad way, right?". I said yes, things would get very bad.
Since then "they" will not leave his side. If he talks to me on the phone I can literally hear them whispering into his ear, telling him to hang up the phone.
I have called the methadone clinic, whom still have not tapered him off of methadone, even though he requested it. He tested positive for 5 drugs last friday, and they still dosed him. Finally this morning the receptionist put me through to the "counselor", after I told her it was a very serious situation. I asked the counselor their policy on dosing someone who failed a drug test, and she could not tell me. As you can imagine, I filled her in on the seriousness of the situation. I asked why they were refusing to taper my son off of methadone, and she said they were reluctant because they felt he would have a hard time and be high risk of relapse. First of all, that is not their call or decision. Second of all, HE HAS ALREADY RELAPSED! I asked if methadone increases intracranial pressure, and she said yes. I asked if people with head injury or seizures are supposed to take methadone, and she said no. I said that my son has both, and they had better taper him off of the methadone.
My sons disability check comes today, and his rent is due today. I will be guarding that mailbox (which is at the end of the road). The "vultures" are eagerly awaiting his check.
Am not sure what to do today. Should see if my son is still alive, and as my girls still need their mom, will spend some time with them.
I know so many of you have been through similar situations, or even worse. Don't feel I am competent enough in this realm to even post advice to anyone else, but welcome any words of wisdom from others.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: foothills of north carolina
Posts: 76
I have come back to visit this site, and read others' posts, but I have not posted in some time. Wow, alot has happened with my son since my last post..... homelessness, seizures, running away from facilities, suicide attempt, episodes of wandering, and jail.
He was diagnosed by his neurologist as having a TBI, and partial complex seizures with and without generalization. Although he does now take a med for seizures, not much more has been done neurologically, as my son continues to deny there is a problem.
Six weeks in jail (for shoplifting a $5 item) helped to stabilize him. He is now at a Veteran's Program, where he can get help. It's been 5 days and to my knowledge he has not run away. I am still hopeful, and still believe in him.
I could have had him declared incompetent, but I didn't. I have not contacted politicians, nor the media. I have not hired high-powered lawyers. I have made it clear I only want help for my son, who was on a path of success, and was derailed by no fault of his own.
Ultimately it's up to my son, but there would be no way for him to have a chance without the right kind of help for his specific problems. If they can help him, I will sing their praises.
Each day he stays put, and isn't out wandering around, is another day he is alive, and safe.
He was diagnosed by his neurologist as having a TBI, and partial complex seizures with and without generalization. Although he does now take a med for seizures, not much more has been done neurologically, as my son continues to deny there is a problem.
Six weeks in jail (for shoplifting a $5 item) helped to stabilize him. He is now at a Veteran's Program, where he can get help. It's been 5 days and to my knowledge he has not run away. I am still hopeful, and still believe in him.
I could have had him declared incompetent, but I didn't. I have not contacted politicians, nor the media. I have not hired high-powered lawyers. I have made it clear I only want help for my son, who was on a path of success, and was derailed by no fault of his own.
Ultimately it's up to my son, but there would be no way for him to have a chance without the right kind of help for his specific problems. If they can help him, I will sing their praises.
Each day he stays put, and isn't out wandering around, is another day he is alive, and safe.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I'm glad you checked in, I wondered about you last week when a friend of my RAD's suffered a TBI. I'm also glad your son was busted for shoplifting, and it got him off the streets long enough to make another positive step.
You and your family remain in my prayers
You and your family remain in my prayers
Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Originally Posted by Kindeyes 
redbud
Eventually, as I progressed in my recovery, I stopped thinking about what might happen. If it hadn't happened yet......then it was ruining my life thinking about the "what ifs". And my prayers changed from "God help me help my son" to "God my son is in your hands. Watch over him and guide him....and I will accept whatever happens." It brought me great peace to hand him over to God and remove the burden
gentle hugs
Eventually, as I progressed in my recovery, I stopped thinking about what might happen. If it hadn't happened yet......then it was ruining my life thinking about the "what ifs". And my prayers changed from "God help me help my son" to "God my son is in your hands. Watch over him and guide him....and I will accept whatever happens." It brought me great peace to hand him over to God and remove the burden
gentle hugs
It does sound so peaceful to really, really let go and leave in God's hands. I, too, feared jail, until he went to prison and I found relief. I feared homelessness, too. It happened. Now I fear death, and believe when I totally let go, this is what will happen. I know him. So I'm seeing a counselor who is trying to prepare me for that. I've stopped exercising, and worse, stopped praying. Today I will begin both to at least improve my physical and spiritual well-being.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: not sure
Posts: 452
Redbud, I am so glad to hear there is someone watching over him, and prayerfully, they will have his best interest at heart. I, am amazed the first VA released him without a responsible party picking him up. I had my son committed when delusional. He's 42, and they would not release him unless I picked him up. Policy. Stayed 2 weeks?
Redbud, I've done so many stupid things concerning my son, but there is one thing that I don't regret. I purchased a camper, had it placed on a lot. Now if he's asked to leave, he still has it and can move it elsewhere. I do pay utilities. He , too, is on disability. Tried it in our backyard...too close.... Tried it in same town....too close.. Now he's two hrs away, so that has helped.I guess it gives me comfort as much as him. It's not much.. But it's a roof.
I do so pray your son continues to improve and the right medication is found to get him and keep him on the right track. May you have a blessed and peaceful day!
Redbud, I've done so many stupid things concerning my son, but there is one thing that I don't regret. I purchased a camper, had it placed on a lot. Now if he's asked to leave, he still has it and can move it elsewhere. I do pay utilities. He , too, is on disability. Tried it in our backyard...too close.... Tried it in same town....too close.. Now he's two hrs away, so that has helped.I guess it gives me comfort as much as him. It's not much.. But it's a roof.
I do so pray your son continues to improve and the right medication is found to get him and keep him on the right track. May you have a blessed and peaceful day!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: foothills of north carolina
Posts: 76
When my son was first arrested, I feared he would become suicidal in jail. Amazingly, it turned out he acclimated to being confined, and ended up liking it in jail. Unfortunately he learned alot of bad things from the inmates in the jail, and told me about them.
I am hoping that he will acclimate to his new environment, and in the program he's in he will get tied in with a few good people. I am hoping he will reconnect with who he was, at some level, and find some pride in himself again.
Washbe2, the camper is a good idea.....but my son is terrified of being alone. He becomes completely unhinged if he is alone. After he was evicted I went to his apartment and found him alone in the dark, crying, with cuts on his arm. He sent me away and told me he loved me.....I spent the night thinking he was going to commit suicide. Little did I know he had tried a couple of nights earlier, but it didn't work. The next day I went back to his apartment and began throwing things in a bag, and told him he is going somewhere for help. He agreed. I gave him a choice of where to go, and he chose a VA hospital. He didn't stay there.
Alot happened after that, and things declined rapidly after he became "homeless". He was taken in by some people who don't live according to the law, and they taught him more bad things. Thus, the shoplifting.
I can hope that the VA will get him into the right treatment. I can hope he will stay where he is, and find his comfort level there. I am taking a step back, and allowing them to do their thing. That's scary for me, as every time I've done that before, something even worse would happen.
For today, he is safe and I am going to take care of myself and the rest of my family.
I am hoping that he will acclimate to his new environment, and in the program he's in he will get tied in with a few good people. I am hoping he will reconnect with who he was, at some level, and find some pride in himself again.
Washbe2, the camper is a good idea.....but my son is terrified of being alone. He becomes completely unhinged if he is alone. After he was evicted I went to his apartment and found him alone in the dark, crying, with cuts on his arm. He sent me away and told me he loved me.....I spent the night thinking he was going to commit suicide. Little did I know he had tried a couple of nights earlier, but it didn't work. The next day I went back to his apartment and began throwing things in a bag, and told him he is going somewhere for help. He agreed. I gave him a choice of where to go, and he chose a VA hospital. He didn't stay there.
Alot happened after that, and things declined rapidly after he became "homeless". He was taken in by some people who don't live according to the law, and they taught him more bad things. Thus, the shoplifting.
I can hope that the VA will get him into the right treatment. I can hope he will stay where he is, and find his comfort level there. I am taking a step back, and allowing them to do their thing. That's scary for me, as every time I've done that before, something even worse would happen.
For today, he is safe and I am going to take care of myself and the rest of my family.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
