My heart is breaking.

Old 03-16-2007, 11:25 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
cinderellawkids's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Blog Entries: 1
Gwen, You did what you had to do. HAd you missed court you could have been locked up a long time, and he'd been mad about that too.
In an emergency situation, I too dont get why he didnt drive you. I do completely understand his anger, but hope he will calm down. If he does not, youve been cleana year, most of your legal trouble is almost behind you, Id fight him for custody.

Sending hugs my way and remember this will pass.
cinderellawkids is offline  
Old 03-16-2007, 12:10 PM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
GwenMarie30's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
He has calmed down alot. He was reacting to fear. He couldnt take me to court as he has been taking vacation days and he is the only deisel auto tech the dealership has and they had a truck coming in that had to go out that day. They already demoted him for missing work because of the kids and my problems and such. So he has calmed down. I need to get a better plan and stop doing some of the things I used to do as an addict. It was really careless and foolish for me to drive. I will know better the next time. As far as the kids go, he really is a good dad. I do have a year clean, but I will have to get a full time job and a better stand on my own two feet before Id consider trying to take custody. At the moment he can provide 80% better right now. I wont mess with that. Also even if we did split, I would still see them alot as he doesnt ever want to keep them from me. The kids have been the one and most important things we never fight over or about.
GwenMarie30 is offline  
Old 03-16-2007, 12:34 PM
  # 43 (permalink)  
let it grow!
parentrecovers's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
Good thinking on a backup plan for rides, Gwen. I like that! Blessings, K
parentrecovers is offline  
Old 03-16-2007, 02:06 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Nature Girl
Ann's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by GwenMarie30
I need to get a better plan and stop doing some of the things I used to do as an addict. It was really careless and foolish for me to drive. I will know better the next time.
Gwen, you have restored my faith in the human condition and recovery. I'm really sorry but as I read about you driving, I just shook my head and thought "She can learn the easy way or the hard way". I'm glad you grabbed your senses and your recovery and are going to take the easier way by never doing this again.

I may sound like somebody's mother, but I have never been less that straight with you and that's how I saw it.

Ann is offline  
Old 03-16-2007, 05:15 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
GwenMarie30's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Thanks Ann. Sometimes, I need just that. I did call my mom today and told her of the weeks events and she told me almost the same I do stupid things and later sit and wonder what I was thinking. Im not good with surprises or thinking things through before acting. Even now with all the trouble, I still just didnt get it. Well I got it, but disregarded it and did what I thought was best, but wasnt. I cant just think every time is an emergency and go drive. I made it this time, but whats to say I will the next time? So thanks Ann for the honesty.
GwenMarie30 is offline  
Old 03-16-2007, 06:20 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
I pray for you Gwen...
Yikes, I hate packing, there no easy or hard way there. It just sucks all the
way around. I just start on one coner and get that done.
There's 4 coners in a room ...damn,
So i just do one room at a time.
It's a trip..sometimes I found it hard to throw away stuff that I don't
use, but for damn reason i deem i need them.
Good god almighty, I'll go into withdraws just throwning of some of it away.
Anywho, i didn't throw all of it away, but there lest junk or stuff in my new
place. It made it easier...I didn't have to carry all that stuff around. And
I don't miss them today. And I'm talking about
It was a good excercise for me thou, the last time i moved...kid of obvered myself.
And i learned a lot just packing.

It's basically just the reflextion of whats going on inside of me
SaTiT is offline  
Old 03-17-2007, 03:12 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewher
Posts: 259
good days will come!!
i hope everything will worl out good!!
im sending good vibes!!
youre very strong and GOd bless u!!
hopeforever is offline  
Old 03-17-2007, 05:42 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
grateful rca
teke's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i'am so happy for you, i think that your husband is blessed to have you in his life, i know that you've done things that you are not happy about, we all have, but to hear you in your recovery walk is so amazing to me. it would be so much easier if my addict thought like you in regards to owning your own mess and understanding about the situation around you. you seem not only protective of yourself, but you seem to be so protective and understanding of your family and their feelings.

i'm an addict, my hubby's an addict and you just don't hear what i hear in your post, you are one amazing recovering addict to me. just a good example of what an addict in real recovery looks like to me. things can't do anything but get better and better for you. i'm so proud of you, you just keep right on putting one foot in front of the other and you see just how precious you are. still praying for ya.
teke is offline  
Old 03-17-2007, 06:21 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
I'm no angel!
dollydo's Avatar
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728

Breaking the cycle of repeated behavior patterns is a difficult one to overcome.

By your acknowledging the problem, is a BIG step in the right direction.

Make yourself a doable plan, write it down, accomplish one item at a time. Check it off, and move onto the next one.

I've said this often...If you do not have a plan, you plan to fail. The most successful businesses in the world, have both short term and long term plans, a combination of both to reach their goals...look at yourself as a business...
Gwen Marie, Incorporated, what is your plan to get out of the red and into the black. Into positive territory, so, the business of you can thrive...the more successful you are, so too will be your family.

You are the CEO of your company, time to take control of can do this, I know it!


dollydo is offline  
Old 03-18-2007, 08:42 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
Thread Starter
GwenMarie30's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Union Mo
Posts: 655
Hello All. I havent been around the last few days as I have been busy, busy, busy! Its not been overly stressful. I just do what I can. When I started this thread, I was full of worry. I think I just had enough of worrying about things that are out of my control. I made a mistake and am planning so I dont make it again. As far as Paul goes, I let him work through his own anger. He has gotten over it and things seem to be smoothing over. He has actually been really decent to me.

As far as the house packing goes, it just gets crazier. The people we are moving into their house havent even begun to pack anything! So Paul and I have been over there Friday night and Saturday from noon till midnight last night. We got almost everything in the house packed and in the garage. They dont even have a set place they are going to live! They are staying with family and friends till they find another place they want to buy. What ever. Its not me. The basement is almost finished. The carpet guy isnt coming until Wednesday. Guess we will just have to move furniture around when they get there. We are renting a Uhaul truck monday to start moving all our stuff. Im going back today to help finish the other people finish packing so I can get my stuff in Monday. Ive been packing both houses and getting low on energy. But Im doing good. Its gonna be really cool birthday present to be able to move in a new house on my birthday monday! I still got a lot to do here yet but its the little stuff and I have to clean it for the new buyers of our home. Paul quit his job yesterday, but starts his new job thursday. Another reason he has been stressed. He will only be 5 minutes from the house, better insurance and a guarenteed number of hours. It a better move financially for him. I always stand behind him when he makes big decisions like these. He has a head for business.

Well gotta go for now for now. Time to get busy. Ill check in later! Have a good day. I will.
GwenMarie30 is offline  
Old 03-18-2007, 04:05 PM
  # 51 (permalink)  
hope213's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
gwen, i have been thinking about you.i am glad things settled down with paul.just do what you are suppose to do & everything else will work sounds like u r really busy.don't forget to take a break to take care of you.hugs & prayers,hope
hope213 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:27 PM.