amy55

Speechless here, sending (((((((((hugs)))))))))).

BoxinRotz

He's detoxing. He's been out since I left. I knew he'd be out of it n that's why I left.

I just spent 3 hours with my granddaughter. Gave her a bath, snuggled her n fed my lil fatty. Just got home a lil while ago n fed the Girls n the pool. The water looks so nice.

I love him.

amy55

Box, I know you love him. So glad you had some time with your granddaughter. My heart is really with you right now. I just can't imagine what you are going through.

Keeping you and your H in my prayers tonight.

DesertEyes

We're all here for you, BoxinRotz, and we all know you love him because we love ours.

Mike

Quish16

Take care - just got back on line - cat knocked computer off and broke screen. Look after yourself. I am in a similar position and my heart goes out to you.

BoxinRotz

He called me this morning n woke me up. He wanted to know if I am coming out today. Then he said, I just wanted to tell you... I told him to STFU. He said, I know I've not given you any reason to believe me... I told him to just STFU, I'm going to bed.

OnawaMiniya

Hope you are getting good sleep. Thinking of you, wishing you peace.

BoxinRotz

Don't friggen count on ME getting good sleep! He just called again to see where I am because he's READY! well, I'm NOT!!! So now I'm up n have to get my ass stuck in traffic. ******* is going to wait til I get a effin shower n have a whole pot of coffee.

Fandy

you don't have to....he can sit outside and wait for you, he can call a car service, he can go find a church, apologize to God, wait for reality of what he keeps doing to smack another hole in his head.
i guess they are discharging him? or he wants company?
i hope you have some downtime for you today....he is dragging you in the dirt.

Kat60

Thinking of you Rotz. I know how hard it is to love someone so much but HATE what they do to themselves and others...

I have no advice, only prayers and hopes that you find peace for yourself...

He is writing his script; time for you to write yours...

Lulu39

I hope he has a decent life insurance policy. Is it too late to get one?

BoxinRotz

My down time includes a 12 hr midnight shift tonight Fandy. I think he just wants company because the trauma drs have to release him n not the neurologists.

He's going to tell me how done he is. I just wanna yell STFU!!! I don't want to hear it at all! I want to see it!!! Show me the money bitch! He has decimated this marriage yet I still love him n wait for him to stop. Don't get it twisted... there is nothing here within these walls that would make anyone believe we have a special, loving relationship. I told him last week that I am NOT your personal dìck warmer. I have shut down my emotional feelings for him to protect myself. It will stay like that until he pulls his head out of his ass. I'm tired of hearing his lies n so is my step son.

I'm in no kinda mood for him or anyone for that matter. I've been trying to keep my self in check but I don't know what will fly out of my mouth at any given time. I do try to have patience with others but he has rung my ******** bell n I'm about to blow all over him.

Tolerance level today is ZERO!

BoxinRotz

He has one through work that almost got cashed in. I have told him, you are not providing for me if you are dead n he said, I willgive you the house n money. I would rather have a sober husband.

He called again n I gave it to him. I swear to God, I'm not putting up with his crap!

Kat60

Hey Rotz,

Is there any reason why you HAVE to go see him today? He is safe, he is cared for, he WANTS to see you, but it won't make or break a darn thing if you don't... Just sayin'...

You have a long work shift ahead and would be good to care for YOU today.

You know what you are gonna hear when you get there and it doesn't sound like you want to engage in that conversation yet again...

JMHO, but maybe you should give yourself a break today...

BoxinRotz

I think I should take a long shower, take the pups for a walk n clean my house before I go down!

Jump...? I don't think so. Why the hell should I?!!!

Kat60

Why go down there at all today???

Pondlady

Box, How would it feel to YOU, if you didn't visit him today? Would it be difficult for YOU? If it is difficult, maybe give some thought to why? It doesn't mean you don't love him, if you don't visit today....in fact, I think it is love.....tough love.......JMHO....hug.

Seren

I don't know Rotz, if he's going to be there for more than one day....e.g. if they are going to have to operate to stop the bleed...then he is still in good hands and he doesn't have to command your presence to keep him company, does he?

Maybe the nurses can bring him a lovely stack of magazines to read?? Meanwhile, you can get some rest at home and get ready for work.

Kat60

I agree with PondLady...

Think about how not visiting sits with you.

I know from my experience I always did it because I was SUPPOSED to. That was my lot, who I was to always be there. Even when I was "saying" to him that I was done and was not going to take it anymore...I still went. As most addicts do, He grew to expect/accept that after he screwed up I would rant and rave, but I would still "show up" ...he'd put up with my rants until all again settled into the same old~same old and then it would start all over again.

When MY actions finally started matching MY words was when I began to feel and see some healing for ME!

His healing was truly up to him....

Lulu39

Me too. Where do we get one of those?

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

He's shown you exactly who he is. All the stuff he says is just stuff he says. His actions tell you an entirely different story.

I was going to say that perhaps some time off work might do you some good. However, I know for myself that being at work and being busy, albeit tired beyond belief, is better for my mental health than being at home ruminating.